It's All My Husband's Fault

  We took the kids to a city-wide event when Son started being dramatic.  He said his chest was hurting, then a minute later he would be laughing and playing.  Then he'd remember he "was in pain" and it went back to complaining.  We asked Son if it hurt so bad that we needed to go home; he said no, he wanted to stay and go to the football game.  Then, The Ex called to talk to the kids.  Son gets on the phone with her, starts whining that he's in pain and Husband "wasn't doing anything about it."  The Ex tells him to put Husband on the phone.   Husband gets on the phone.  "Something's wrong with him, why aren't you giving him medicine?!  He's in pain, something is wrong!"  Husband told her that we already asked Son if he wanted to go home and he said no; he was not in that much pain and if he was, we would handle it.  We told the kids we were going home; Son immediately starts pouting.   As the kids were getting into t...

  We had been waiting on pins and needles for this report to come in.  We already knew The Ex is a compulsive liar, so it was expected she was going to report all sorts of horrible things about us that were untrue.  As I stated earlier, we weren't sure what the new GAL's angle was.  We didn't know if he wasn't doing his job, or if he was just guarding himself because The Ex accused the former GAL of being biased against her.   Finally, the report came in.  New GAL was recommending that the kids be placed with us during the school year, with The Ex during the summer. ( HUGE sigh of relief. )  New GAL did a very balanced, in-depth report.  He noted that the kids were doing well in our house.  He said he was impressed that Husband had gotten the kids into counseling ( Apparently The Ex told GAL that she wanted to do it when the kids had still lived with her, but had never gotten around to it.  The Ex also said that if the kids were place...

  In January, The Ex had Attorney 1 send a letter to our attorney stating that Boyfriend had completed his alcohol counseling.  Attorney 1 said that because there was no formal prohibition on Boyfriend being in the home, if Our Attorney did not file something then they would assume we no longer requested the prohibition ( When the temporary order was written, a lot of information was left out.  The part about Boyfriend not having contact was left out, the part about Husband not paying child support was left out which resulted in The Ex getting an extra $1,200+ in 2009, etc. )  The case had been moved because neither The Ex or Husband lived in the county that the divorce was granted in.  The commissioner opted for The Ex's county because there was more information there ( police reports, school records, witnesses ).   One night, we were woken up by a phone call from Boyfriend.  Boyfriend called Husband and asked if he was still fighting The Ex for the...

  The kids started school by us; The Ex did not attend their first day, assuming because she was just getting out of work while the bell was ringing.  The Ex has an aunt that was running around telling lots of people in their family that The Ex was a terrible mom and she didn't know how The Ex hadn't lost custody of her other child to the state.   Thanksgiving rolled around.  It was our year to have the kids, so The Ex called just before 10am to talk to the kids.  She said she was going to the store and asked Husband to have the kids call her back in about an hour.  Husband did like she asked and waited until about 11am to have the kids call her back; The Ex didn't answer.  We ate Thanksgiving dinner with family and went home.  Husband had the kids call The Ex again around 8pm and again, The Ex did not answer.   The next morning, The Ex leaves Husband a message yelling about how he had the kids call her back when she wasn't home ( How wer...

  After finding out what was going on in The Ex's house, I pained us to have to take the kids back there.  The kids were still saying they wanted to come live with us, we didn't think the kids were doing well there but court orders are court orders.  It said to return the kids to The Ex, so we did.   We spoke to a few lawyers who all said that it sounded like an attorney was the best option but if we didn't have the money for it, then we'd have to make do without one.  This idea was very, very scary.  We knew how vindictive The Ex was.  If we fought her for custody and lost because we didn't have a strong enough case, she was going to make our lives a living hell.  She interfered with Husband's placement, bad-mouthed him to the kids, made insane demands which we'd try to comply with just to keep the peace - and this was all before we went back to court.   We finally located an attorney who was willing to work out a payment plan with us. ...

  It was becoming more and more obvious that something was wrong in The Ex's home, but the kids never said a word about any of it.  Like I said earlier, their grades were not the best; the teachers kept making notes in their report card about the kids needing more help at home, particularly Son.  Husband and I went to a parent-teacher conference and both teachers said they often had problems getting The Ex to sign permission slips or even have the kids complete their homework.  One teacher mentioned that she tried calling The Ex one day only to find that the number listed in the kids' school file was disconnected; if an emergency had come up, the school had no way to reach The Ex.   One day we took the kids back after Husband's visitation weekend; Son sat in the backseat with tears filling his eyes and said, "I don't want to go."  The Ex told Husband one day that she "didn't know what was wrong with [Daughter]."  The Ex said some days Daughter wo...

  Boyfriend is....I'm not really sure what the right word is.  Something about the guy has always seemed like he's not quite "right."  Even so, we tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.  After all, The Ex didn't really know me either but I was a big part of the kids' lives.  Ultimately, we felt that even if The Ex didn't like Husband or me, she was still the kids' mother and would only do what was best for them.  If Boyfriend wasn't a good person, surely she wouldn't stay with him...right?   Now let's remember that when The Ex told Husband that she was moving in with Boyfriend, Husband asked for Boyfriend's last name.  The Ex refused, saying that Husband "didn't need it" and that Husband was just going to look up Boyfriend online ( Our state has court records online for free ) and make things up about him.  After The Ex had already moved the kids in with Boyfriend and had been living there for a few months, she finall...