It's All My Husband's Fault

  Sometime in 2010, we started having "Family Night" at our house.  This was one night a week when everyone was required to be home; no friends' houses, no working late, no friends coming over.  It was just us.  We put our phones away, ate dinner together and did something as a family - watched a movie, played a game, went bowling, went swimming, whatever.  This was our one night a week to do something without interruption.   One day in 2010, The Ex asked if she could pick the kids up a day early.  Husband told her no, because it was Family Night.  The Ex said, "Why wasn't I invited?"  Husband told her it was not a school event; it was something that we did as a family once a week.  Husband said if she wanted, she could get the kids Friday morning. "Oh...I can't." ( If you're so busy Friday morning, then why did you want the kids on Thursday night? )   Shortly after this, The Ex made a habit of calling to talk to the kids on...

  2011 started out rather irritable.  It think part of this was probably because I was pregnant with Baby Boy and I'm sure the kids said something to The Ex about it.  We went to pick up the kids one day and Husband could hear Boyfriend saying, "Just leave it, I told you I'd put the sh*t away!"  Then Husband heard The Ex yell, "Sh*t, [Daughter]!" ( Who doesn't talk to their 8-year-old this way?  Builds character, right? ) Husband knocked on the door again, since apparently they were all too busy to answer it the first time he knocked.  When we were all in the car, Husband asked the kids what had taken so long; "Mom was having us clean." ( Have them clean when you know we're outside waiting.  Total logic. )   A few days later, The Ex tried calling while we were in the middle of eating.  Husband didn't answer, obviously.  The Ex immediately tried calling back; Husband answered the phone and said we were eating dinner. ...

  Husband and I had been together for over 2 years when we got engaged.  Son and Daughter were excited; I loved them and they loved me.  A few months after our engagement, Son asked if he could start calling me "Mom."  I told him that once Husband and I got married, he could call me whatever he was comfortable with - he could continue to call me by name, he could call me Stepmom or he could call me Mom. ( For those of you who are naysaying, I grew up with a lot of "blending" in my family.  Adoptions by stepparents, adoptions from other countries, divorces, remarriages, etc.  Family is family; blood has nothing to do with it.  If you object, that's your opinion and you're entitled to it.  This is my opinion )   A month after this "Mom" conversation was when Son called Husband crying and saying he wanted to live with us; Son told me a week later that he thought The Ex spoke badly about me personally because "maybe she thinks you're a bette...

  The kids came to live here primarily, on a "temporary" basis until we could have a court trial.  They started school and in one of the newsletters, there was a flyer for cheerleading.  We asked Daughter, who said she wanted to sign up.  When we went to pick up the kids one night, Husband told The Ex about it and asked if she would want to help pay for some of it.  The Ex said, "Well you never helped me out when I put them in sports." ( Okay, but when you put them in sports, you were getting almost $400/month in child support; you would show up at our house announcing that we owed you money without any receipts or paperwork showing what was actually paid for the activity.  Now we have the kids most of the time, you're paying absolutely nothing in child support and still refuse to help pay for activities?  Plain and simple, you are a deadbeat mother. )   One night, The Ex called to talk to the kids and Daughter reminded her that her cheerleading s...

  In mid-January, The Ex called Husband about Daughter's cheerleading:      “Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. Um...I’m not sure really how to get to [School City]. I’m hoping Mom & Dad come with me ‘cause I followed [The Ex's sister], and I wasn’t paying attention. She took all these backroads. I mean, literally backroads from her house. ( She lives out in the country.  What else was she supposed to drive down to get there?  A field? )  Um, I’m...planning to go to sleep, like...before 11?  So, I wanna know, um...if I just pick ‘em up then over there? So let me know, and I need to know what time it’s at. Um...I’m thinking about bringing [daughter with Boyfriend]. Probably put a hood on her, um...what do you call it? Her little...outfit to go outside ( ...snowsuit.  The word you are looking for is "snowsuit."  And I don't care what you do with your kid.  Put a hood on her, give her a sombrero, wrap a towel around her head...

  Even though The Ex lived in New City, she was going to put the kids in baseball in Hometown.  Tryouts were on a Saturday morning that happened to be on Husband's weekend.  The Ex originally said that she couldn't make it because tryouts were "too early."  When we got to Hometown, Husband learned that Son's tryout had gotten pushed from 9am to 10:30am.  Husband called The Ex to tell her the time was delayed and she could still come to see Son try out.  The Ex did not show up.  ( Fine, it was only a "tryout" so it wasn't really vital.  But don't make an excuse about it.  If you don't want to come, then don't come, but don't lie to your kid about you being a parent fail )   On Baby Girl's birthday, The Ex left Husband a voicemail:      “Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. I have  told  you before: I need another number to call you! ( No, you really don't )  ‘Cause you don’t answer your phone ( He doesn't wait...