It's All My Husband's Fault

  Okay, so it's not actually 10pm right now.  But I do know where my children are.  We know because we had to threaten withholding placement just to get The Ex to follow the court order.   The Ex likes to act as if Son and Daughter belong to her, like they're property rather than human beings.  She refuses to accept that Husband is their parent who loves and cares about them, and that he has a right to know what's going on with them and around them.  The Ex lives as if her decisions don't affect anyone else, and that's why she lost custody and will never get it back.   I contacted Our Attorney about The Ex now living with Ned; I said Daughter had made comments about them living somewhere else and how Son wasn't with them because he'd rather be at The Ex's parents' house instead.  Our Attorney said we needed an address for where Son and Daughter would be while with The Ex.  I checked the court order from 10 years ago and surprisingly, it r...

  I have previously contemplated deleting this blog, wondering if maybe it focuses too much on the negative.  But then I get an email from someone who commented, thanking me for sharing my story and reminding them that they're not alone.  And I suppose that's why I started it in the first place - I'm not the first person to suffer the wrath of my spouse's ex, nor will I be the last.  The things that I say here will never once be said to Son or Daughter; this is my space to say, "I've had enough of her insanity!" and it's nice to know that I'm not the only one struggling.  In the past I mentioned that I had read "Divorce Poison" by Dr. Richard Warshak and found it extremely insightful.  I just recently finished "Will I Ever Be Free of You? (How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family)" by Dr. Karyl McBride.  This particular book is aimed more at someone who is considering or in the process of ...

  Son came home from school on Friday, said he decided to join football after all.  I tell him that Husband will send The Ex a message about it, but we all need to be on the same page - he is expected to help clean up after every game, not hop into a car and take off with his mom on her weekends.  The coach already said something last year and wanted us to say something to The Ex about it; Son said he understood.  Husband sent a message to The Ex saying that Son wanted to join football, he's expected to ride the bus back and help clean up after every game instead of leaving right away; Husband said to let him know what her thoughts were.   The 48-hour deadline would have been Sunday evening.  The Ex finally replied after 100 hours and 12 minutes: "My thoughts on playing football r... ( ....why....WHY is it SO hard for her to type like an adult?! ) 1 I'm glad he's decided to play. ( Okay, that's great.  Even if you weren't, you replied in literally ...

  She is crazy.   Let's go back a few months to May.  An event is happening this weekend that I really did not want Husband, Son or Daughter to miss.  Husband sent The Ex a message asking if they could switch weekends; The Ex replied that she needed more time to "look at the calendar herself" and would let him know.   A week later, Husband sent The Ex copies of the calendar showing what the current placement schedule would be and what it would be if she agreed to the switch he was requesting.  No answer.   A week after that, Husband entered it as a change request on the calendar; The Ex declined it and told Husband that she's "already asked him for more time" and that she doesn't want to accept when it's months down the road.  Husband replied that he was not trying to pressure her for an answer, he simply wanted it on the calendar so that it wasn't forgotten about.  Husband said that if they could not switch the entire weekend, he was w...

  It's been said that the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.   The Ex and Ned are now living together.   Some of you might be saying, "Well, they're both consenting adults and are free to do whatever they choose."  And you're right - you're entirely, inarguably right.  But I have an issue with this because this is the exact same thing that The Ex has done not only with Husband but with Boyfriend as well.  I'm going to give you a timeline so you can understand this a little bit better.       1999      The Ex and Husband are dating for a few months when they find out The Ex is pregnant with Son.  They get married.       2000      Son is born in the state that The Ex and Husband were living in at that time.      The Ex decides that she wants to spend Christmas with her parents.  Son spends his first Christ...

  Sometimes, life involving The Ex is like a circus.  Case in point:   To the best of our knowledge, New Guy is no longer in the picture and The Ex is now officially dating this new guy who we'll call Ned. ( The previous blog post he was referred to as The Ex's new-new boyfriend.  We now have a nickname for him :D )  From what we've learned so far, Ned seems like an okay guy.  From what we can find, he doesn't seem to be a criminal like Boyfriend is/was, but Ned has his own baggage.   Ned was in the middle of a divorce while The Ex was having an affair with New Guy ( Who still happens to be with his wife. )  Ned and his ex-wife have one child together.  Ned somehow works with The Ex, at least from comments that Son and Daughter made in the past; according to his information online he's a manager. ( So if/when their relationship doesn't work out, it's going to be a giant mess.  I'm pretty sure that The Ex would quit or Ned would have ...

  I don't think that Husband has needed to have any contact with The Ex since the stipulation ordeal, when she mailed it back late then tried to get out of following the terms by saying she hadn't received a signed copy yet.  Other than that, no fighting or arguing - no contact at all.   This week is Husband's second summer week and Son's school year schedule starts next week, so Son is going to be here full-time from this week forward.  Son called me at almost 10pm on Saturday and asked to talk to Husband.  I said I wasn't sure where he was.  Son asked what we were doing this week; I told him we had some plans.  Son asked if he could stay with The Ex; I told him no.  He asked why; I asked if there was something going on.  He said yes.  I told him that if there was something going on that The Ex wanted to keep him for, then she needed to be the one talking to Husband about it.  Son said okay, we hung up.   Shortly after, Husb...