It's All My Husband's Fault

   Husband's mom passed away a few weeks ago.  While it wasn't completely out of left field, we just...weren't ready.  Fortunately we were able to go to his home state for the funeral.   I am honestly surprised that my body can make such a copious amount of tears.  I have never cried this much in my entire life.  It didn't really start to sink in for Husband until the night before the funeral.  He couldn't sleep and then he just started crying, which lead to me holding him and crying with him.   Son didn't react well to the news.  He's been seeing a psychiatrist who has him on anti-depressants and mood stabilizers; Girlfriend said he was a wreck for a few days after I'd told him what happened.  During a video chat the day after the burial, Son had told Husband that he "couldn't bring himself to watch [the memorial video]" on the funeral home's website; he started crying which made Husband cry.  Son & Girlfriend came down to...

   The other day, The Ex copied-and-pasted one of those quizzes about your kids; it asks questions like, "Who is the loudest?" and you're supposed to answer which of your children applies to the question.  The Ex decided to do this, but twice - first for her kids with Boyfriend, and second for Son and Daughter.  I don't understand why she didn't do all four kids in one quiz, but whatever.   For the first quiz, The Ex posted: "Parents who have more than 1 child, no matter the age- let's see the difference between your kids. This should be fun! 😂 Here's between [The Ex's daughter] and [The Ex's son]!!! •Most stubborn? [The Ex's daughter] •Most laid back? [The Ex's son] •Worst temper? [The Ex's son] ( ...how can he be the most laid back and have the worst temper?? ) •Most likely to share? [The Ex's son] •Eats the most? [The Ex's son] •Pickiest eater? [The Ex's daughter] •Who sleeps the longest? [The Ex's daughter] •S...

   Now that both of the kids are over 18, Husband (and by association, myself) have been spared this year's dose of Holiday Crazy.  However, Daughter sure got an abundant serving of it.  The Ex has been digging into Son too, but I actually witnessed it with Daughter.   We went to visit some of Husband's family over Thanksgiving.  Typically when we go on a family visit, we go to see who he calls his parents; Husband grew up with and was raised by his grandparents, so that is who he considers his mom and dad, but we still have a good relationship with his biological mom.  While we were visiting, Husband's biological mom offered to fly us to his home state so that we could spend Christmas with his parents.  Husband said we'd like to go but I'd already used all my vacation this year and couldn't take another week off of work.  His mom asked if he wanted to go by himself; I told Husband that I was completely fine with this because I was actually t...

   We had the contempt hearing yesterday.  Husband and I went together; The Ex showed up with her mom.  I audio recorded the entire thing because...well, you learn to document your entire life when you've blended families with a high-conflict personality.  Here's my transcript:   Commissioner:  Court calls "In re: the marriage of [The Ex with Boyfriend's last name] and [Husband].  Um...what name are you going by now?   The Ex:  [Ned's last name]. ( I was surpressing a giggle but would not have been able to hide my smile if it wasn't for my mask.  I found it so humorous that the commissioner had to ask what The Ex's last name was because she gets married to someone new every half hour. )   Commissioner:  [Ned's last name]? Okay.  Both parties are here in person, without counsel.  [Husband] filed a contempt motion, and I believe this is regarding some medical bills.  Is that right?   Husband:  Correc...

   We have court this afternoon.  Please say a prayer or two or five for both me and Husband.   For whatever reason, I am nervous about today.  My imagination has always been overactive and this is no exception.  Out of everything we've ever had to file since we fought for custody in 2009, Husband has only had one motion denied which I think is a pretty good track record.  I just keep playing out different scenarios in my head and I keep imagining everything going horribly wrong.  Personally, I don't see how it could go bad for us because I think that we've been extremely reasonable with The Ex for all of these years; she hasn't been following the court order, which is the one and only reason why we're going back to court.  Even though I can justify this in my own mind, that doesn't mean the court will agree with it; years ago, the judge decided that it wasn't The Ex's fault that she got fired from her job for "attendance issues" even though ...

   Husband picked up the envelope that The Ex had sent certified mail.  Inside was a check, which was written out for the exact amount of the bills listed in the affidavit - no additional interest and, of greater focus, no service fees.   The Ex wrote on the note line of the check: " Pay OFF of Kids Medical Expenses"   We're not cashing it.  Not right now, anyway.  Husband knew someone years ago that owned a car repair business; we'll call that person Guy A just for this blog post.  Guy A had done work for someone, who we'll call Guy B.  Guy A was going to let Guy B make payments on their bill.  Guy B made one payment and stopped.  Guy A was upset about not getting paid so he sued Guy B for the rest of the bill.  The court reviewed everything and found that Guy A had cashed a check from Guy B; Guy B had written "paid in full" or something similar to that on the note line of the check.  The court ruled that because Guy A ...

  I knew that The Ex was dragging Son into this court drama and was pretty sure she was dragging Daughter into it also.  Well, I got my confirmation.  I found out that The Ex had been texting Daughter the same exact day that she got served.  She was served at 12:50pm and started texting Daughter at 2:10pm.    The Ex:  I am so hurt right now by your dad and [my name, misspelled]. ( Here we go again with how "hurt" she is.  I'm honestly so incredibly tired of that word; she uses it for everything. )    Daughter:  Why? What happen?    The Ex:  All they are, are money hungry assholes ( We're "money-hungry assholes" because we expect The Ex to pay for half of  her  children's medical bills. )    The Ex:  Maybe its ( *it's ) a good idea your ( *you're ) not coming up for a while ( Here comes the narcissism - making Daughter feel guilty/responsible for the situation that The Ex created )   ...