It's All My Husband's Fault

  Years ago, Husband and I established a rule if something was checked out from the library by us, those items were not to be taken to The Ex's house because if they were forgotten, we'd run into a problem.  If we lived in the same city as The Ex, or even relatively close by, then it wouldn't be an issue.  However, when The Ex keeps increasing the distance between our houses it's easier on everyone if we simply keep here what belongs here, particularly when it's not even ours to begin with.   Let's go back to this past fall.  Son asked The Ex if she, her parents, and her brother would collectively buy him an Xbox One for Christmas.  They did this but apparently didn't buy him any games. ( I say this because we have an Xbox 360.  Son specifically asked for an Xbox One game for Christmas.  I asked if that game would work on the 360; he said no.  I told him I didn't understand why he was asking for a game he couldn't play; he stopped talking a...

  Despite the fact that I've been around for 10 years and that I love and raise her two oldest children as if they were my own, The Ex will still tell them that I'm "not their mom so they don't need to listen to me."  One time, The Ex couldn't get a hold of Husband so one of the kids told her she could call me for whatever she needed; she refused, stating that I'm "not involved in none of this." ( "This" meaning anything pertaining to Son or Daughter. )   The court order is very specific about the fact that The Ex and Husband should be the two people communicating about Son and Daughter.  It reads, " Both parents should make every effort to communicate directly with each other, rather than through a spouse, significant other or the children. "  We had this added because we got tired of The Ex telling Son or Daughter to give us messages from her, or The Ex's parents calling us to figure out plans with the kids and then th...

  The kids came home last night with a check made out to Husband.  The check is from Ned.  Ned wrote out and signed the check.  After this, The Ex wrote in the note line: "[The Ex's name] medical exspanses"   Look, I'm not trying to tell someone else how to live their life.  I'm just going to say that it would be a huge red flag for me if I was in a relationship for less than a year, my partner already moved in with their kids, and I was paying their bills for them even though they had a job.

  I often feel like I want to "expose" The Ex to the kids.  I want to point out everything that she's lied to them about over the years, how she is constantly trying to drive a wedge between them and Husband just to make herself feel better.  But I don't do that for multiple reasons.  The primary reason is that Son and Daughter are still children and don't need that burden placed upon them, especially from both sides of their family.  I love them more than my ego.  If something gets brought up, then we will address it but we don't go out of our way to tell them what really happened, and we most certainly don't bad-mouth their mother.   The Ex is another story.  For the past decade, her primary objective has been to portray Husband in a negative light.  It doesn't matter what the circumstance is.  If Husband says or does something, The Ex will twist what the events and "show" the kids how he has hurt her.  If Husband does nothing...

  There's not much going on right now so I'll just update with the minor things that Daughter shared about their time at The Ex's over Christmas break.   ●  At some point, The Ex's youngest son couldn't or wouldn't go to bed.  The Ex brought him to Daughter and made it her job to take care of him in the middle of the night because....yeah, I don't have a reason why.   ●  Ned's parents bought a McDonald's gift card for Daughter as a Christmas present.  On their way back to our house, The Ex wanted to stop at McDonald's; once there, Daughter paid for everyone's food with her gift.  ( So it's pretty much, "Merry Christmas, now you can buy me stuff." )   Really, I shouldn't be surprised by any of this.  I still am though.  I still can't wrap my head around a woman who is so selfish that she treats her own children like this on a regular basis.  It's just so appalling.

  I almost feel as if we should just automatically expect The Ex's crazy to rear its ugly head every single holiday season.  Here's a breakdown of how Thanksgiving/Christmas has played out since I've been in the picture: 2006 The Ex told Husband she would drop the kids off around 7pm on Christmas Eve.  Husband told her he would pick them up instead so she didn't have to drive.  The Ex then refused to tell us where her sister lived and wouldn't answer her phone; we got the kids at almost 8pm. 2007 We went out of town to visit family for Thanksgiving and got back late; The Ex left Husband a message screaming at him for forgetting the kids' hats and gloves in our vehicle, saying we needed to drive them back down to New City or we'd have to pay her for new ones.  Three weeks after this, she intentionally dropped the kids off three hours late and then screamed at Husband again about our Thanksgiving trip.  Two weeks after this, the kids were told they were...

  Despite having been divorced for a decade, The Ex still thinks she can control Husband.  When Husband won't do what she wants, then it's whine, pout, and complain about how mean he is.   Husband tried to make things easy and amicable for the weekend his sister was coming from out of town.  The Ex refused to switch saying that she had plans, but said she would talk to the kids about if they "wanted" to be here. ( So the plans, if they even existed, weren't concrete.  The Ex was just refusing to switch because she could. )  Husband had sent two messages; the first was remiinding her that he had switched so the kids would be present for her sister's vow renewal and the second was saying he was keeping the kids anyway. Apparently, asking her to respect Husband's side of the family is a big no-no: "I'm sorry, how many times have I switched weekends for you? ( According to the change requests on 2houses, none. )  Way to ( *too ) many. But, ho...