It's All My Husband's Fault

  Sometimes, I really wish that I could understand what makes a person act like such a damn fool.   Months ago, Daughter brought home a sheet of paper saying there was a weekend basketball tournament and we needed to sign it if she was going to participate; she said she wanted to go so we signed it.  Husband updated the calendar to reflect that Daughter had a tournament that weekend; just so you don't think I'm crazy, I've uploaded screen caps of their 2houses account: Photo 1 shows that Husband added the tournament to the calendar on January 10th Photo 2 shows that Husband included the name and location of the school where the tournament was being held. Photo 3 shows the 2houses joint calendar reflecting the date of the tournament as well as the name and location of the school.   The Ex was given two full months notice about this tournament; she never asked Husband any questions, never asked to switch weekends, never indicated if she was attendi...

  I pride myself of having a pretty great memory with most things, but there are times I'm forgetful.  Anyone who has kids - step, biological, adopted, or foster - understands that there's a lot going on and a lot to remember.  The more kids you have, the busier you are; more appointments, more practices, more games, more recitals, etc.  It's understandable that things might slip your mind every now and again.  But for the life of me, I cannot understand someone who always seems to forget when they're getting placement of their children.   In the past, The Ex has forgotten it's her placement weekend.  One time, she and Husband switched weekends, she didn't exercise her placement on the weekend they switched for, blamed Husband for not reminding her, and then announced that he "still owed her" another weekend.  Another time, she left a message at almost 7:30pm on Thursday saying she "completely forgot" that she was supposed to pick up the ki...

  Years ago, Husband and I established a rule if something was checked out from the library by us, those items were not to be taken to The Ex's house because if they were forgotten, we'd run into a problem.  If we lived in the same city as The Ex, or even relatively close by, then it wouldn't be an issue.  However, when The Ex keeps increasing the distance between our houses it's easier on everyone if we simply keep here what belongs here, particularly when it's not even ours to begin with.   Let's go back to this past fall.  Son asked The Ex if she, her parents, and her brother would collectively buy him an Xbox One for Christmas.  They did this but apparently didn't buy him any games. ( I say this because we have an Xbox 360.  Son specifically asked for an Xbox One game for Christmas.  I asked if that game would work on the 360; he said no.  I told him I didn't understand why he was asking for a game he couldn't play; he stopped talking a...

  Despite the fact that I've been around for 10 years and that I love and raise her two oldest children as if they were my own, The Ex will still tell them that I'm "not their mom so they don't need to listen to me."  One time, The Ex couldn't get a hold of Husband so one of the kids told her she could call me for whatever she needed; she refused, stating that I'm "not involved in none of this." ( "This" meaning anything pertaining to Son or Daughter. )   The court order is very specific about the fact that The Ex and Husband should be the two people communicating about Son and Daughter.  It reads, " Both parents should make every effort to communicate directly with each other, rather than through a spouse, significant other or the children. "  We had this added because we got tired of The Ex telling Son or Daughter to give us messages from her, or The Ex's parents calling us to figure out plans with the kids and then th...

  The kids came home last night with a check made out to Husband.  The check is from Ned.  Ned wrote out and signed the check.  After this, The Ex wrote in the note line: "[The Ex's name] medical exspanses"   Look, I'm not trying to tell someone else how to live their life.  I'm just going to say that it would be a huge red flag for me if I was in a relationship for less than a year, my partner already moved in with their kids, and I was paying their bills for them even though they had a job.

  I often feel like I want to "expose" The Ex to the kids.  I want to point out everything that she's lied to them about over the years, how she is constantly trying to drive a wedge between them and Husband just to make herself feel better.  But I don't do that for multiple reasons.  The primary reason is that Son and Daughter are still children and don't need that burden placed upon them, especially from both sides of their family.  I love them more than my ego.  If something gets brought up, then we will address it but we don't go out of our way to tell them what really happened, and we most certainly don't bad-mouth their mother.   The Ex is another story.  For the past decade, her primary objective has been to portray Husband in a negative light.  It doesn't matter what the circumstance is.  If Husband says or does something, The Ex will twist what the events and "show" the kids how he has hurt her.  If Husband does nothing...

  There's not much going on right now so I'll just update with the minor things that Daughter shared about their time at The Ex's over Christmas break.   ●  At some point, The Ex's youngest son couldn't or wouldn't go to bed.  The Ex brought him to Daughter and made it her job to take care of him in the middle of the night because....yeah, I don't have a reason why.   ●  Ned's parents bought a McDonald's gift card for Daughter as a Christmas present.  On their way back to our house, The Ex wanted to stop at McDonald's; once there, Daughter paid for everyone's food with her gift.  ( So it's pretty much, "Merry Christmas, now you can buy me stuff." )   Really, I shouldn't be surprised by any of this.  I still am though.  I still can't wrap my head around a woman who is so selfish that she treats her own children like this on a regular basis.  It's just so appalling.