Now Husband has ruined Christmas.
I almost feel as if we should just automatically expect The Ex's crazy to rear its ugly head every single holiday season. Here's a breakdown of how Thanksgiving/Christmas has played out since I've been in the picture:
2006
The Ex told Husband she would drop the kids off around 7pm on Christmas Eve. Husband told her he would pick them up instead so she didn't have to drive. The Ex then refused to tell us where her sister lived and wouldn't answer her phone; we got the kids at almost 8pm.
2007
We went out of town to visit family for Thanksgiving and got back late; The Ex left Husband a message screaming at him for forgetting the kids' hats and gloves in our vehicle, saying we needed to drive them back down to New City or we'd have to pay her for new ones. Three weeks after this, she intentionally dropped the kids off three hours late and then screamed at Husband again about our Thanksgiving trip. Two weeks after this, the kids were told they were no longer allowed to bring their snow pants to our house because they "might lose them."
2008
The Ex insisted that she be allowed to pick up the kids at 1pm; we left our extended family's Christmas party to make it on time. The Ex was over an hour late and then told Husband it was his fault, saying she told him a different time.
2009
The Ex wouldn't let us take the kids out of state to visit family for Christmas; we left the kids with her for four days while we were gone. The Ex then told Husband that he inconvenienced her and said he needed to do all of the transportation for her next placement weekend. After this, The Ex lied and told the guardian ad litem that we left the kids with Husband's sister while we went on vacation and refused to give her any extra time with the kids on their Christmas break.
2010
The Ex hung up on Husband during three separate phone calls while trying to discuss plans. When Husband explained that it was his year for Christmas, The Ex screamed, "I don't want to f*cking argue!" The Ex told Husband five days before Christmas that they were trying to plan their Christmas and it was his fault that they couldn't.
2011
The Ex demanded that she be allowed to pick up the kids directly from their school. Husband told her no. The Ex threatened to show up with the police. The Ex then tried to use her father's partial amputation as a reason to pick up the kids early. When Husband still told her no, she told her sister that Husband had told her she was lying about their dad.
2012
The Ex told Husband that they were having their family Christmas party at her sister's house, but then claimed she never said that. The Ex said that the party was at her house and told Husband that he or I could bring the kids to the party, but we had to come alone and could not come together.
2013
The Ex's cell phone was shut off and she wanted to know when she was picking up the kids for Thanksgiving. Instead of directly calling Husband from Boyfriend's phone or their house phone, The Ex decided it was easier to play a game of Telephone that involved herself, Boyfriend's sister, The Ex's mom, Son, and Husband.
2014
The Ex called Husband on Christmas Day and said she needed Son's birth certificate; she also showed up a day early and called the police because we weren't home, literally less than 24 hours after Husband told her which day she was supposed to get the kids.
And now this year's insanity begins. The Ex sent a message Friday night on 2houses:
"On the 23rd, [Neds] parents are having pictures done at her (*their, maybe? I'm confused.) house at 7pm. (That's lovely. I'm happy for Ned and his family.) May I please pickup [Son] and [Daughter] at 4:30pm that day. (So, she wants her first husband to allow her to pick up her two oldest children early so that she can take family photos with her boyfriend of an entire 6 months while she's still legally married to her second husband.) Unfortunately, drop off time would still be around 5:30pm, due to my schedule being made already. (But she can't bring them back early because her schedule is already made. Thanks for the entire five days' notice that you wanted to change something.) I will try my best to get there as soon as possible, depending if [Son] and [Daughter] are ready to go right after work. (You know how I make sure Son and Daughter are ready? I tell them, "We're leaving at [insert time here]" and they get themselves ready because they are teenagers and old enough to be ready when you tell them to be.) Please let me know as soon as possible. (I love how she so frequently uses this phrase, but doesn't think it applies to her.) Every ones (*Everyone's) schedule is messed up due to the holidays and family time. (Did I miss something? Is Christmas on a different day this year? Why is everyone's schedule "messed up"?) The 23rd is the only night every one will be all together. (...okay, and your point is what?) There are 2 younger babies, and they will probably be getting ready for bed around 8. Please consider this. (We're supposed to "consider" that family pictures were planned an hour before bedtime. Consider this: get your crap together and try thinking about your children for FIVE DAMN SECONDS instead of half-assing your way through life and expecting us to make up for your poor parenting.)"
Husband replied and said that if she wanted to use a make up day like they have both done in the past, she could pick up the kids right from school. Husband asked her to let him know what she wanted to do.
The Ex replied:
"I can't do that. I really would love to, but I work until 2:00pm. Like I have said, the schedule is made. Nothing I can do to change it. (You were never asked to change any part of your schedule.) I'll talk to mom and dad. I'll get back to you soon."
Forty-six hours later a.k.a "soon":
"I've talked with mom and dad and [The Ex's brother]. (I don't need to know this.) They are all willing to help me for pickup and drop off. (I can't understand how she knows "drop off" is two words but doesn't understand the same thing applies to "pick up." Additionally, nothing about this needed to be stated because it doesn't affect anything here.) Is it still possible to pickup [Son] and [Daughter] at each other's school on Wednesday, December 23rd, and drop off will be the same on the 29th. (No, it won't because Husband and I will be at work. We don't want you anywhere near our home when we're not around. But this is The Ex's idea of "compromising" - by giving Husband something that he never even asked for.) I won't be using any make up days."
Husband replied again and explained that this summer, he gave her an entire day in exchange for getting the kids back a few hours early. He said if she was going to pick up the kids from school on Wednesday, it would count as one of her make up days; if she didn't want to use a make up day, then she could pick them up at the regularly scheduled placement time on Wednesday and bring them back at the same time next Tuesday.
And then without warning, the true colors of The Ex came shining through. This is what she sent to Husband last night, verbatim:
"You have also let me pick up (Oh, so she DOES know it's two words.) our kids early in exchange for them being dropped back off early. (Correct, but we didn't ask for them to come back early this time. This is called a "compromise" where we both get something that we want - you get the kids for photos, we owe you one less make up day.) Because you want to be the GRINCH OF CHRISTMAS (...is there a non-Christmas Grinch?), doesn't mean you need to be an absolute ass to me and our kids and [Neds] family. (I really fail to see how Husband is being an ass to anyone, particularly to Son, Daughter, and/or Ned's family. He's offering to let The Ex have what she wants; she tells him he's being an absolute ass.) You've never had any consideration for anyone but yourself, your wife, and your younger 2 kids. (Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a perfect definition of the psychological term known as "projection." But at least she's gone back to speaking to him and not me.)
I will use 1 make up day to pickup (Oh, come on now. You used it perfectly at the beginning of this message; what happened?!) [Son] and [Daughter] straight from their school.
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS (Yes, she literally wrote that.)
Mom and Dad will be picking up both kids"
You guys, we read this and started laughing. I'm not even upset, hurt, or offended. If anything, I feel pity for her because she's such a miserable human being that nothing and no one will ever make her stop being this bitter and angry.
Merry f*cking Christmas, indeed.
2006
The Ex told Husband she would drop the kids off around 7pm on Christmas Eve. Husband told her he would pick them up instead so she didn't have to drive. The Ex then refused to tell us where her sister lived and wouldn't answer her phone; we got the kids at almost 8pm.
2007
We went out of town to visit family for Thanksgiving and got back late; The Ex left Husband a message screaming at him for forgetting the kids' hats and gloves in our vehicle, saying we needed to drive them back down to New City or we'd have to pay her for new ones. Three weeks after this, she intentionally dropped the kids off three hours late and then screamed at Husband again about our Thanksgiving trip. Two weeks after this, the kids were told they were no longer allowed to bring their snow pants to our house because they "might lose them."
2008
The Ex insisted that she be allowed to pick up the kids at 1pm; we left our extended family's Christmas party to make it on time. The Ex was over an hour late and then told Husband it was his fault, saying she told him a different time.
2009
The Ex wouldn't let us take the kids out of state to visit family for Christmas; we left the kids with her for four days while we were gone. The Ex then told Husband that he inconvenienced her and said he needed to do all of the transportation for her next placement weekend. After this, The Ex lied and told the guardian ad litem that we left the kids with Husband's sister while we went on vacation and refused to give her any extra time with the kids on their Christmas break.
2010
The Ex hung up on Husband during three separate phone calls while trying to discuss plans. When Husband explained that it was his year for Christmas, The Ex screamed, "I don't want to f*cking argue!" The Ex told Husband five days before Christmas that they were trying to plan their Christmas and it was his fault that they couldn't.
2011
The Ex demanded that she be allowed to pick up the kids directly from their school. Husband told her no. The Ex threatened to show up with the police. The Ex then tried to use her father's partial amputation as a reason to pick up the kids early. When Husband still told her no, she told her sister that Husband had told her she was lying about their dad.
2012
The Ex told Husband that they were having their family Christmas party at her sister's house, but then claimed she never said that. The Ex said that the party was at her house and told Husband that he or I could bring the kids to the party, but we had to come alone and could not come together.
2013
The Ex's cell phone was shut off and she wanted to know when she was picking up the kids for Thanksgiving. Instead of directly calling Husband from Boyfriend's phone or their house phone, The Ex decided it was easier to play a game of Telephone that involved herself, Boyfriend's sister, The Ex's mom, Son, and Husband.
2014
The Ex called Husband on Christmas Day and said she needed Son's birth certificate; she also showed up a day early and called the police because we weren't home, literally less than 24 hours after Husband told her which day she was supposed to get the kids.
And now this year's insanity begins. The Ex sent a message Friday night on 2houses:
"On the 23rd, [Neds] parents are having pictures done at her (*their, maybe? I'm confused.) house at 7pm. (That's lovely. I'm happy for Ned and his family.) May I please pickup [Son] and [Daughter] at 4:30pm that day. (So, she wants her first husband to allow her to pick up her two oldest children early so that she can take family photos with her boyfriend of an entire 6 months while she's still legally married to her second husband.) Unfortunately, drop off time would still be around 5:30pm, due to my schedule being made already. (But she can't bring them back early because her schedule is already made. Thanks for the entire five days' notice that you wanted to change something.) I will try my best to get there as soon as possible, depending if [Son] and [Daughter] are ready to go right after work. (You know how I make sure Son and Daughter are ready? I tell them, "We're leaving at [insert time here]" and they get themselves ready because they are teenagers and old enough to be ready when you tell them to be.) Please let me know as soon as possible. (I love how she so frequently uses this phrase, but doesn't think it applies to her.) Every ones (*Everyone's) schedule is messed up due to the holidays and family time. (Did I miss something? Is Christmas on a different day this year? Why is everyone's schedule "messed up"?) The 23rd is the only night every one will be all together. (...okay, and your point is what?) There are 2 younger babies, and they will probably be getting ready for bed around 8. Please consider this. (We're supposed to "consider" that family pictures were planned an hour before bedtime. Consider this: get your crap together and try thinking about your children for FIVE DAMN SECONDS instead of half-assing your way through life and expecting us to make up for your poor parenting.)"
Husband replied and said that if she wanted to use a make up day like they have both done in the past, she could pick up the kids right from school. Husband asked her to let him know what she wanted to do.
The Ex replied:
"I can't do that. I really would love to, but I work until 2:00pm. Like I have said, the schedule is made. Nothing I can do to change it. (You were never asked to change any part of your schedule.) I'll talk to mom and dad. I'll get back to you soon."
Forty-six hours later a.k.a "soon":
"I've talked with mom and dad and [The Ex's brother]. (I don't need to know this.) They are all willing to help me for pickup and drop off. (I can't understand how she knows "drop off" is two words but doesn't understand the same thing applies to "pick up." Additionally, nothing about this needed to be stated because it doesn't affect anything here.) Is it still possible to pickup [Son] and [Daughter] at each other's school on Wednesday, December 23rd, and drop off will be the same on the 29th. (No, it won't because Husband and I will be at work. We don't want you anywhere near our home when we're not around. But this is The Ex's idea of "compromising" - by giving Husband something that he never even asked for.) I won't be using any make up days."
Husband replied again and explained that this summer, he gave her an entire day in exchange for getting the kids back a few hours early. He said if she was going to pick up the kids from school on Wednesday, it would count as one of her make up days; if she didn't want to use a make up day, then she could pick them up at the regularly scheduled placement time on Wednesday and bring them back at the same time next Tuesday.
And then without warning, the true colors of The Ex came shining through. This is what she sent to Husband last night, verbatim:
"You have also let me pick up (Oh, so she DOES know it's two words.) our kids early in exchange for them being dropped back off early. (Correct, but we didn't ask for them to come back early this time. This is called a "compromise" where we both get something that we want - you get the kids for photos, we owe you one less make up day.) Because you want to be the GRINCH OF CHRISTMAS (...is there a non-Christmas Grinch?), doesn't mean you need to be an absolute ass to me and our kids and [Neds] family. (I really fail to see how Husband is being an ass to anyone, particularly to Son, Daughter, and/or Ned's family. He's offering to let The Ex have what she wants; she tells him he's being an absolute ass.) You've never had any consideration for anyone but yourself, your wife, and your younger 2 kids. (Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a perfect definition of the psychological term known as "projection." But at least she's gone back to speaking to him and not me.)
I will use 1 make up day to pickup (Oh, come on now. You used it perfectly at the beginning of this message; what happened?!) [Son] and [Daughter] straight from their school.
MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS (Yes, she literally wrote that.)
Mom and Dad will be picking up both kids"
You guys, we read this and started laughing. I'm not even upset, hurt, or offended. If anything, I feel pity for her because she's such a miserable human being that nothing and no one will ever make her stop being this bitter and angry.
Merry f*cking Christmas, indeed.
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