It's All My Husband's Fault

  I've been reading a book titled "Divorce Poison" by Dr. Richard Warshak, and it has been tremendously insightful.  I strongly recommend it to anyone and everyone who has to deal with their own version of The Ex.   One of the chapters I'm in the middle of reading outlines certain reasons as to why your ex is bad-mouthing you.  Among these is a technique called "holding on with hate," which seems to be The Ex's prevalent behavior.  There are other behaviors which she's obviously exhibited, such as poor boundaries, narcissism, insecurity, and seeking validation.  But the "holding on with hate" has been almost entirely accurate.   According to Dr. Warshak, it is "surprising and ironic that often the ones who initiated the divorce have more difficulty accepting the end of the relationship." ( The Ex filed for divorce and then told the kids that Husband didn't want to be a family anymore. )  The reason people "hold on wit...

  The summer schedule was set in 2010 and is easiest explained as The Ex having primary placement of the kids, Husband gets alternating weekends, and Husband also receives two nonconsecutive full weeks; Husband is required to let The Ex know which two summer weeks he would like by May 1st.  Here's a breakdown of what we had to go through the first time around: The First Summer      During a placement exchange, Husband tried tell The Ex which two weeks he would like in the summer.  The Ex immediately interrupted him and stated, "No, I'm not switching.  You never work with me; I'm not helping you out."  Husband said they weren't switching weekends; he got two weeks and he was trying to let her know which weeks he'd like.  As a precaution, Husband sent her a follow-up text message; she didn't reply to the text, so we mailed out a physical letter to both The Ex and the court indicating which two weeks Husband would like to have.    ...