Fun in 2007
Things were okay-ish this year. There were a few incidents here and there; The Ex dropped off the kids one day and told Husband that he had to punish Son. Husband asked why, The Ex said that Son had hit Daughter earlier so he needed to be punished. Husband asked why The Ex hadn't punished Son when the problem happened; her response was that she "didn't have time."
Another time, The Ex was an hour late dropping off the kids when she finally called and asked for directions; she said she "didn't remember" where our apartment was. (We had lived here for eight months; she couldn't remember how to get there because she never dropped the kids off herself - she always had her parents do it for her while she was running around with Boyfriend) Husband told her if that was the case, then she would have to leave earlier because now he was missing out on time with the kids. The Ex replied, "I just called for directions, I don't need your bullsh*t" and hung up. (Apparently it's "bullsh*t" to expect the kids to be dropped off on time.)
One day while dropping the kids off, The Ex announced she was moving in with Boyfriend to New City, 60 miles away from our place. (We took this statement with a grain of salt because a)they had only been dating for 3-4 months, b)she had two previous boyfriends living with her in Hometown, and c)she was "going to move in" with another boyfriend in Different City in 2006, until that guy stopped returning her phone calls.) Husband asked her for Boyfriend's last name; she asked why he needed it. Husband told her that if their children were going to be living with this person, he would like to know who the guy is. The Ex responded that Husband didn't "need" Boyfriend's name. (Of course he doesn't "need" it. He wants it; this person is living in the same house with his children!) When Husband tried telling her that she should have talked to him about this prior to making the decision, The Ex told him that she was doing this "for the kids" and that she was "making a new life for the kids." Husband told her she cannot make a new life for them when he is a part of their life; The Ex just kept repeating that this was "for the kids." (The kids grew up in Hometown; they had friends, family and school in Hometown. You know what was in New City? Boyfriend - that's it. This was "for the kids" in what way???)
At some point after our daughter was born, The Ex bought the kids a dog. (Over the years, this became a pattern for her. We bought something, she had to buy something similar or "better." As the blog progresses, you'll notice it) While dropping the kids off one day, The Ex brought their dog, who spent the entire time yanking on the leash, jumping on people and trying to break free. The Ex began telling me a story about Boyfriend's sister coming over to their place; she was pregnant and the dog had jumped on her and hit her in the belly. The Ex said, "I was so mad at [the dog], I picked him up and threw him across the room." (Okaaaay....)
After living with Boyfriend for a couple of weeks, Daughter began making references to her "stepdad." Husband's sister asked her if The Ex and Boyfriend had gotten married. Daughter said no, so Husband's sister said he was not a stepdad. (Husband and I had been together for a year and a half; The Ex and Boyfriend had been together for five months. I didn't even let the kids call me "Stepmom" because a)I wasn't their stepmom yet and b)I knew The Ex would have a fit over it.)
One weekend, The Ex told Husband that she was having problems with Son. She said they had been in a store, Son wasn't getting his way over something or other, he started having a tantrum and The Ex had to physically carry him out of the store because he wouldn't stop. (He was SEVEN.) Another time, she told him that Son didn't want to buckle his seatbelt, so he started hitting the car window with it (Completely out-of-character for him. He was a shy, quiet kid. He didn't have tantrums, he didn't act up. This was not him, at least not at our house.)
Husband was driving with the kids one day when they saw a police car with its lights on. Daughter commented, "Mommy crashed the car." Husband asked what she was talking about. Daughter said that The Ex's car had to get fixed because she crashed it. I asked if they had seatbelts on when it happened. She said, "I did but [Son] didn't." Son said that The Ex had asked if they were wearing seatbelts; Daughter supposedly said "Yes, go" but Son said, "No, wait." The Ex failed to check for traffic, pulled out, and was hit in the front end by another car while one of her children wasn't buckled in. (We got a copy of the police report and found out that this happened four months before Daughter said anything; The Ex has never said a word about this happening.)
The month of November was a big ping-pong game. The Ex was amicable and communicable; a week later, she was screaming through the phone. The Ex agreed we could take the kids out-of-state to visit family for Thanksgiving. We were driving back late on Sunday night when The Ex called and asked where we were. Husband told her it would still be a few hours; The Ex said she wouldn't be home but her cousin would be. The Ex then said that because we hadn't called her on Friday morning to tell her we had arrived safely, she was worried all weekend long. Husband told her if she was concerned, she could have called him. The Ex ignored this and said, "I was so worried, I broke out in hives at work." (I'm not a doctor, not by any means. But I have honestly never heard, before or after this, of worry/stress/anxiety to cause hives. An allergic reaction to certain foods, yes. Stress, no.) We arrived at The Ex's apartment around midnight, woke the kids up, took their bag inside, and drove home.
The next morning, Husband had a voice mail from The Ex. She was absolutely livid because "the kids said [Husband] forgot their hats and gloves in his truck." The Ex said the kids need their hats and gloves, Husband would have to make an extra trip back to New City to give them for her or would have to reimburse her for new hats and new gloves because she was "tired of paying for everything" (Sorry, I figured the almost $400/month in child support would've helped with that. Silly me.) They talked on the phone, The Ex seemed have calmed down and we figured everything was okay.
Two weeks later for Husband's next visitation weekend, the kids were late. Husband tried calling The Ex, her phone was off. Husband called Boyfriend's phone, someone answered who we think was Boyfriend's brother and had no idea what was going on. Husband called The Ex's Cousin, who said The Ex had left hours ago to go to her parents' place. Husband called The Ex's parents, who said the kids had gotten dropped off five minutes ago and they were on their way to our place. By the time they showed up, the kids were three hours late. We took them back at the court-ordered time on Sunday; The Ex ripped open the door and started screaming about the kids' hats and gloves that had been forgotten in our truck weeks ago (I guess she really liked those hats and gloves), started yelling about the clothes she had sent not getting washed before being returned, and told Husband that if he had a problem with it, he could take her back to court.
At the end of the year, Daughter stated, "If [The Ex] has a little girl, then [Son] will have three sisters." I asked what she was talking about. Son said, "Mom's pregnant. She's going to have a baby." (Holy. Freaking. Crap.)
Another time, The Ex was an hour late dropping off the kids when she finally called and asked for directions; she said she "didn't remember" where our apartment was. (We had lived here for eight months; she couldn't remember how to get there because she never dropped the kids off herself - she always had her parents do it for her while she was running around with Boyfriend) Husband told her if that was the case, then she would have to leave earlier because now he was missing out on time with the kids. The Ex replied, "I just called for directions, I don't need your bullsh*t" and hung up. (Apparently it's "bullsh*t" to expect the kids to be dropped off on time.)
One day while dropping the kids off, The Ex announced she was moving in with Boyfriend to New City, 60 miles away from our place. (We took this statement with a grain of salt because a)they had only been dating for 3-4 months, b)she had two previous boyfriends living with her in Hometown, and c)she was "going to move in" with another boyfriend in Different City in 2006, until that guy stopped returning her phone calls.) Husband asked her for Boyfriend's last name; she asked why he needed it. Husband told her that if their children were going to be living with this person, he would like to know who the guy is. The Ex responded that Husband didn't "need" Boyfriend's name. (Of course he doesn't "need" it. He wants it; this person is living in the same house with his children!) When Husband tried telling her that she should have talked to him about this prior to making the decision, The Ex told him that she was doing this "for the kids" and that she was "making a new life for the kids." Husband told her she cannot make a new life for them when he is a part of their life; The Ex just kept repeating that this was "for the kids." (The kids grew up in Hometown; they had friends, family and school in Hometown. You know what was in New City? Boyfriend - that's it. This was "for the kids" in what way???)
At some point after our daughter was born, The Ex bought the kids a dog. (Over the years, this became a pattern for her. We bought something, she had to buy something similar or "better." As the blog progresses, you'll notice it) While dropping the kids off one day, The Ex brought their dog, who spent the entire time yanking on the leash, jumping on people and trying to break free. The Ex began telling me a story about Boyfriend's sister coming over to their place; she was pregnant and the dog had jumped on her and hit her in the belly. The Ex said, "I was so mad at [the dog], I picked him up and threw him across the room." (Okaaaay....)
After living with Boyfriend for a couple of weeks, Daughter began making references to her "stepdad." Husband's sister asked her if The Ex and Boyfriend had gotten married. Daughter said no, so Husband's sister said he was not a stepdad. (Husband and I had been together for a year and a half; The Ex and Boyfriend had been together for five months. I didn't even let the kids call me "Stepmom" because a)I wasn't their stepmom yet and b)I knew The Ex would have a fit over it.)
One weekend, The Ex told Husband that she was having problems with Son. She said they had been in a store, Son wasn't getting his way over something or other, he started having a tantrum and The Ex had to physically carry him out of the store because he wouldn't stop. (He was SEVEN.) Another time, she told him that Son didn't want to buckle his seatbelt, so he started hitting the car window with it (Completely out-of-character for him. He was a shy, quiet kid. He didn't have tantrums, he didn't act up. This was not him, at least not at our house.)
Husband was driving with the kids one day when they saw a police car with its lights on. Daughter commented, "Mommy crashed the car." Husband asked what she was talking about. Daughter said that The Ex's car had to get fixed because she crashed it. I asked if they had seatbelts on when it happened. She said, "I did but [Son] didn't." Son said that The Ex had asked if they were wearing seatbelts; Daughter supposedly said "Yes, go" but Son said, "No, wait." The Ex failed to check for traffic, pulled out, and was hit in the front end by another car while one of her children wasn't buckled in. (We got a copy of the police report and found out that this happened four months before Daughter said anything; The Ex has never said a word about this happening.)
The month of November was a big ping-pong game. The Ex was amicable and communicable; a week later, she was screaming through the phone. The Ex agreed we could take the kids out-of-state to visit family for Thanksgiving. We were driving back late on Sunday night when The Ex called and asked where we were. Husband told her it would still be a few hours; The Ex said she wouldn't be home but her cousin would be. The Ex then said that because we hadn't called her on Friday morning to tell her we had arrived safely, she was worried all weekend long. Husband told her if she was concerned, she could have called him. The Ex ignored this and said, "I was so worried, I broke out in hives at work." (I'm not a doctor, not by any means. But I have honestly never heard, before or after this, of worry/stress/anxiety to cause hives. An allergic reaction to certain foods, yes. Stress, no.) We arrived at The Ex's apartment around midnight, woke the kids up, took their bag inside, and drove home.
The next morning, Husband had a voice mail from The Ex. She was absolutely livid because "the kids said [Husband] forgot their hats and gloves in his truck." The Ex said the kids need their hats and gloves, Husband would have to make an extra trip back to New City to give them for her or would have to reimburse her for new hats and new gloves because she was "tired of paying for everything" (Sorry, I figured the almost $400/month in child support would've helped with that. Silly me.) They talked on the phone, The Ex seemed have calmed down and we figured everything was okay.
Two weeks later for Husband's next visitation weekend, the kids were late. Husband tried calling The Ex, her phone was off. Husband called Boyfriend's phone, someone answered who we think was Boyfriend's brother and had no idea what was going on. Husband called The Ex's Cousin, who said The Ex had left hours ago to go to her parents' place. Husband called The Ex's parents, who said the kids had gotten dropped off five minutes ago and they were on their way to our place. By the time they showed up, the kids were three hours late. We took them back at the court-ordered time on Sunday; The Ex ripped open the door and started screaming about the kids' hats and gloves that had been forgotten in our truck weeks ago (I guess she really liked those hats and gloves), started yelling about the clothes she had sent not getting washed before being returned, and told Husband that if he had a problem with it, he could take her back to court.
At the end of the year, Daughter stated, "If [The Ex] has a little girl, then [Son] will have three sisters." I asked what she was talking about. Son said, "Mom's pregnant. She's going to have a baby." (Holy. Freaking. Crap.)
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