The start of 2010 was a rollercoaster
In January, The Ex had Attorney 1 send a letter to our attorney stating that Boyfriend had completed his alcohol counseling. Attorney 1 said that because there was no formal prohibition on Boyfriend being in the home, if Our Attorney did not file something then they would assume we no longer requested the prohibition (When the temporary order was written, a lot of information was left out. The part about Boyfriend not having contact was left out, the part about Husband not paying child support was left out which resulted in The Ex getting an extra $1,200+ in 2009, etc.) The case had been moved because neither The Ex or Husband lived in the county that the divorce was granted in. The commissioner opted for The Ex's county because there was more information there (police reports, school records, witnesses).
One night, we were woken up by a phone call from Boyfriend. Boyfriend called Husband and asked if he was still fighting The Ex for the kids. Husband said he wasn't "fighting" but he wanted what was best for the kids. Boyfriend told Husband that "if [Husband] would come to court and talk for [Boyfriend], then [Boyfriend] would come to court and talk for [Husband]." Husband asked what Boyfriend was talking about. Boyfriend launched into a profanity-laced rant about The Ex - said all she cared about was money; said he was tired of putting up with her; said The Ex told him that if he ever left, she would never let him see his child again. Boyfriend said he wanted custody of his daughter so if Husband would testify for him, he would testify for Husband so that they could both win. Boyfriend said The Ex was always taking their child to her parents' house, preventing him from spending time with her. Boyfriend said there were times that they had gotten into fights and not called the police; he said once, The Ex had been choking him. Husband told Boyfriend that if this was going on, he needed to call the police about it. (A few hours later, Boyfriend did call the police and said he wanted to talk to an officer about custody; he said he hadn't seen his child all week wasn't sure if The Ex was keeping their child from him. Boyfriend said he called her and asked if she was bringing the baby home and The Ex replied, "What for?" Nothing ever amounted out of this though; an officer was dispatched but Boyfriend didn't answer the door.)
A few days later, The Ex was on the phone about a dental bill. Husband told her he had dentist appointments scheduled for the kids on their Easter break. (Keep this in mind; it comes up again later.)
The month following, we had a court date for child support. The Ex did not show up; she had fired Attorney 1 and hired Attorney 2, who advised her not to attend the hearing. We didn't know this at the time, so Husband tried calling The Ex to remind her but she wouldn't answer the phone. The court continued without her; we provided the information we had about her pay so the court set child support at state guidelines, ordered one month of arrears and ordered The Ex to repay the $1,200+ she had gotten the previous year when the kids were living with us.
The next week, we learn that Attorney 2 filed a motion the day before we had the child support hearing. The Ex signed an affidavit asking the court to a)vacate the temporary order or b)set a trial date. The Ex stated that Attorney 1 did not explain what she was agreeing to at the previous court hearing (Actually, he did. Attorney 1 knew that The Ex had shot herself in the foot by not caring for the kids while they were in her custody and managed to work out a pretty damn sweet deal for her), that the GAL was biased against her(that must be why The Ex refused to talk to GAL without a lawyer - because the GAL is biased? This same GAL who had been on the case since The Ex first filed for divorce was suddenly biased because they recommended that the kids be placed with Husband and not The Ex - yup, total bias right there.), that Husband was physically abusing me in front of the kids (Such an absolutely absurd comment that it isn't even worthy of being addressed), that Husband and I were leaving the kids alone for hours by themselves (NEVER.) and forcing them to babysit our daughter(Again, NEVER.), and that the kids did not want to live here (The kids would say they missed their mom. Son would have angry outbursts every month or so and only said he wanted to live with The Ex when he was mad about something here; I believe a lot of these outbursts were because The Ex was putting so much pressure on him to lie about what happened in her house.)
Two weeks after the child support hearing and this bogus affidavit being filed, we had another hearing. Attorney 2 was, mildly stated, insane. She stormed through the court room, threw her purse to the floor, was raising her voice to the commissioner, blamed the child support attorney for the first child support hearing for continuing (Attorney 2 alleged that she had spoken to the CSA attorney the day before the hearing, told him she wasn't available that day and expected him to cancel the hearing for her. Anyone who's been through court knows that this is not how court works). The commissioner said she was not going to vacate the support order but would agree to modify it: The Ex saved herself a grand total of seven dollars a week. Attorney 2 said she would write the order. A week later, Attorney 2 submitted the order; the child support attorney filed an objection because whatever she had put into the order was not what had been agreed upon in court.
About two months later, there was a phone hearing. Attorney 2 said that The Ex's tax refund had been intercepted and was claiming that Husband had been overpaid almost $4,000 in child support. (We typed up a letter outlining what was owed for back support, current support, the $1,200+ that The Ex had been overpaid the year prior, and what The Ex owed GAL in the original case - it came to around $4,000 so no, there had not been an overpayment to us of any kind)
A few weeks after this, Our Attorney called me and said she couldn't get through to Attorney 2. I looked up Attorney 2 on the State Bar website; it said "Resignation pending." Our Attorney said that Attorney 2 must have done something serious to actually resign from the Bar. Husband asked The Ex about Attorney 2. The Ex said, "I have a new one. I've had him for like, two months." (No, you haven't because last month you appeared in court with Attorney 2. Now you're saying you have Attorney 3? How much is all of this costing you?)
Around this time, the kids were learning about sacrifices in school. Son asked if it would be considered a sacrifice to burn money on an altar. I said that God would probably like it better if instead of burning the money, you would donate it to a church, a school, or someone who was poor. Son replied, "Like Mom?" (What?!) I told Son that The Ex was not poor; she had a job and could afford things (Remember that $30,000 minivan that she bought brand-new last year? Yeah, she's telling her kids that she's poor). Son said that The Ex didn't work that much and didn't have very much money. I told Son that The Ex worked five days a week just like everyone else, and if The Ex didn't have money, it was because she was spending it. Son said, "Well, she needs to use [Boyfriend's] money." (So what? If you're poor, then you don't buy a vehicle you can't afford.)
In the meantime, the new GAL was really weirding us out. He was very closed off, didn't respond when you told him things that were good/bad, hadn't even called to talk to the kids' therapists, so on and so forth. His report was due in June; his secretary said in July that he "never has those done on time." I was beginning to panic. I didn't know what he was thinking, why he didn't seem interested in the case, why he wasn't covering all the bases, blah blah blah. When you find out what we found out about The Ex and Boyfriend, it's a scary thing to imagine that the kids could get put back into that household.
Our Attorney tried talking to Attorney 3 to see if we could reach a settlement; Attorney 3 said that unless Husband agreed to the kids moving back in with The Ex, she had no interest in settling. We had court scheduled on a Monday in August. Literally the Friday morning before court, the new GAL sent us his report.
One night, we were woken up by a phone call from Boyfriend. Boyfriend called Husband and asked if he was still fighting The Ex for the kids. Husband said he wasn't "fighting" but he wanted what was best for the kids. Boyfriend told Husband that "if [Husband] would come to court and talk for [Boyfriend], then [Boyfriend] would come to court and talk for [Husband]." Husband asked what Boyfriend was talking about. Boyfriend launched into a profanity-laced rant about The Ex - said all she cared about was money; said he was tired of putting up with her; said The Ex told him that if he ever left, she would never let him see his child again. Boyfriend said he wanted custody of his daughter so if Husband would testify for him, he would testify for Husband so that they could both win. Boyfriend said The Ex was always taking their child to her parents' house, preventing him from spending time with her. Boyfriend said there were times that they had gotten into fights and not called the police; he said once, The Ex had been choking him. Husband told Boyfriend that if this was going on, he needed to call the police about it. (A few hours later, Boyfriend did call the police and said he wanted to talk to an officer about custody; he said he hadn't seen his child all week wasn't sure if The Ex was keeping their child from him. Boyfriend said he called her and asked if she was bringing the baby home and The Ex replied, "What for?" Nothing ever amounted out of this though; an officer was dispatched but Boyfriend didn't answer the door.)
A few days later, The Ex was on the phone about a dental bill. Husband told her he had dentist appointments scheduled for the kids on their Easter break. (Keep this in mind; it comes up again later.)
The month following, we had a court date for child support. The Ex did not show up; she had fired Attorney 1 and hired Attorney 2, who advised her not to attend the hearing. We didn't know this at the time, so Husband tried calling The Ex to remind her but she wouldn't answer the phone. The court continued without her; we provided the information we had about her pay so the court set child support at state guidelines, ordered one month of arrears and ordered The Ex to repay the $1,200+ she had gotten the previous year when the kids were living with us.
The next week, we learn that Attorney 2 filed a motion the day before we had the child support hearing. The Ex signed an affidavit asking the court to a)vacate the temporary order or b)set a trial date. The Ex stated that Attorney 1 did not explain what she was agreeing to at the previous court hearing (Actually, he did. Attorney 1 knew that The Ex had shot herself in the foot by not caring for the kids while they were in her custody and managed to work out a pretty damn sweet deal for her), that the GAL was biased against her(that must be why The Ex refused to talk to GAL without a lawyer - because the GAL is biased? This same GAL who had been on the case since The Ex first filed for divorce was suddenly biased because they recommended that the kids be placed with Husband and not The Ex - yup, total bias right there.), that Husband was physically abusing me in front of the kids (Such an absolutely absurd comment that it isn't even worthy of being addressed), that Husband and I were leaving the kids alone for hours by themselves (NEVER.) and forcing them to babysit our daughter(Again, NEVER.), and that the kids did not want to live here (The kids would say they missed their mom. Son would have angry outbursts every month or so and only said he wanted to live with The Ex when he was mad about something here; I believe a lot of these outbursts were because The Ex was putting so much pressure on him to lie about what happened in her house.)
Two weeks after the child support hearing and this bogus affidavit being filed, we had another hearing. Attorney 2 was, mildly stated, insane. She stormed through the court room, threw her purse to the floor, was raising her voice to the commissioner, blamed the child support attorney for the first child support hearing for continuing (Attorney 2 alleged that she had spoken to the CSA attorney the day before the hearing, told him she wasn't available that day and expected him to cancel the hearing for her. Anyone who's been through court knows that this is not how court works). The commissioner said she was not going to vacate the support order but would agree to modify it: The Ex saved herself a grand total of seven dollars a week. Attorney 2 said she would write the order. A week later, Attorney 2 submitted the order; the child support attorney filed an objection because whatever she had put into the order was not what had been agreed upon in court.
About two months later, there was a phone hearing. Attorney 2 said that The Ex's tax refund had been intercepted and was claiming that Husband had been overpaid almost $4,000 in child support. (We typed up a letter outlining what was owed for back support, current support, the $1,200+ that The Ex had been overpaid the year prior, and what The Ex owed GAL in the original case - it came to around $4,000 so no, there had not been an overpayment to us of any kind)
A few weeks after this, Our Attorney called me and said she couldn't get through to Attorney 2. I looked up Attorney 2 on the State Bar website; it said "Resignation pending." Our Attorney said that Attorney 2 must have done something serious to actually resign from the Bar. Husband asked The Ex about Attorney 2. The Ex said, "I have a new one. I've had him for like, two months." (No, you haven't because last month you appeared in court with Attorney 2. Now you're saying you have Attorney 3? How much is all of this costing you?)
Around this time, the kids were learning about sacrifices in school. Son asked if it would be considered a sacrifice to burn money on an altar. I said that God would probably like it better if instead of burning the money, you would donate it to a church, a school, or someone who was poor. Son replied, "Like Mom?" (What?!) I told Son that The Ex was not poor; she had a job and could afford things (Remember that $30,000 minivan that she bought brand-new last year? Yeah, she's telling her kids that she's poor). Son said that The Ex didn't work that much and didn't have very much money. I told Son that The Ex worked five days a week just like everyone else, and if The Ex didn't have money, it was because she was spending it. Son said, "Well, she needs to use [Boyfriend's] money." (So what? If you're poor, then you don't buy a vehicle you can't afford.)
In the meantime, the new GAL was really weirding us out. He was very closed off, didn't respond when you told him things that were good/bad, hadn't even called to talk to the kids' therapists, so on and so forth. His report was due in June; his secretary said in July that he "never has those done on time." I was beginning to panic. I didn't know what he was thinking, why he didn't seem interested in the case, why he wasn't covering all the bases, blah blah blah. When you find out what we found out about The Ex and Boyfriend, it's a scary thing to imagine that the kids could get put back into that household.
Our Attorney tried talking to Attorney 3 to see if we could reach a settlement; Attorney 3 said that unless Husband agreed to the kids moving back in with The Ex, she had no interest in settling. We had court scheduled on a Monday in August. Literally the Friday morning before court, the new GAL sent us his report.
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