Spring of 2013
A new GAL was appointed. She was okay. Talked to Husband, talked to the kids; said she didn't really think that Husband had grounds to withhold because nothing had happened to the kids (So you pretty much have to wait until the kids get hurt - THEN you can ask the court for help. Isn't that something?)
We ended up resuming the regular schedule, hammered out a court agreement for The Ex to get "make up" time for the times we wouldn't let her have the kids, got it signed and settled; part of the agreement was that we wouldn't have to pay The Ex's attorneys fees and in exchange, we would waive the $700+ that she owed us for variable expenses and medical bills.
In the middle of this, Attorney 4 stated that The Ex didn't agree with having to pay for Daughter's basketball shoes because she "didn't agree" to Daughter playing (She owed $14.80 for the shoes. Husband emailed The Ex about basketball in October, it started in November, The Ex never objected to it - now in March, The Ex suddenly "didn't agree" to Daughter playing) She was also now arguing over school lunches; she didn't want to pay for those, either. (Let's just call it what it is: The Ex is a deadbeat parent who doesn't want to support her children in any way, shape or form)
The kids came home from school with notes about baseball sign-up; both Son and Daughter said they wanted to play in School City and Son also wants to play football again (Remember the fun we had last time he wanted to play football?) but wants to play in School City instead of by our house this year. Husband emailed The Ex about this; she did not reply. Two days later when they met so The Ex could pick up the kids, she gets out of her car and the first thing to leave her mouth is, "[Son], where did you want to play baseball again? You want to play in [Hometown] with [your cousin], right?" Husband tells her he's not going to discuss this with her in front of the kids (Because The Ex will never agree with Husband about anything. It is a constant argument and unless you concede to The Ex's wishes, she will argue with you until she's blue in the face. The kids don't need to listen to their parents arguing about them playing sports), at a gas station of all places; he says he will talk to her later about it.
A month later, Husband emails some receipts to The Ex and reminds her that the kids want to play baseball. Husband says he wants to discuss it because of her waiting until the basketball season had ended and then saying she disagreed with Daughter playing. The Ex emails him back, says she and Attorney 4 "never said [Daughter] couldn't play basketball" (Sooo...she didn't agree, but she didn't disagree? How can she even say this? Does she think this actually makes sense? My head hurts...) and implies that Husband signed up Daughter without The Ex's consent (Because emailing her two weeks before the first basketball practice takes place doesn't give her enough time to say, "I don't agree to this."). The Ex says, "As per our court order (I absolutely love it when she tries to sound educated and it backfires, like her use of the phrase "As per...") we are to agree on extra curricular (yes, she spelled it as two words) activities for both children. In this case nothing was agreed upon." (So if she doesn't object, that means nothing? She has to put into writing that she agrees otherwise it doesn't count? And she wonders why Husband only communicates with her by email...) The Ex says she tried talking to Husband about baseball and he walked away from her (This is her constant claim: Husband walked away when she tries talking to him. She "was trying to discuss the children's summer sports schedule" and Husband walked away. She claimed six months later that she was trying to talk to him and he walked away. He should be in excellent physical condition considering all the walking he does.); says she has the kids most of the summer, so she asked them what sports and where they want to play, Son said he wants to play in Hometown so The Ex is going to enroll them in Hometown. The Ex also agrees to Son playing football in Hometown in the fall. (Again, I don't think she understands the words she uses. By saying she agrees to Son playing football in Hometown, that would imply that Husband also thinks Son should play there - which he most certainly does not.) The Ex says it would be more convenient for her to enroll the kids in New City, but Hometown is "a half way point" for both of them (They both have to drive almost an hour in one direction; how does this make sense to her?)
Husband replies to the email; says The Ex brought up sports in Hometown once, after Husband had already told her that the kids wanted to play in School City. Husband tells her that he asked Son when Hometown had come into the picture; Son said, "I don't know, Mom brought it up." Husband says the kids don't live in or near Hometown, they don't go to school in Hometown, he and I have jobs that we can't leave to take the kids to practices or games, and enrollment for Hometown already passed; because of these reasons, he does not agree to the kids playing sports in Hometown. (Logical, yes?)
The Ex emails Husband back, says she noticed that Husband sent a receipt for school lunches. The Ex says she wants to "make it clear" that school lunches and milk are "considered a basic cost not a variable expense" (Just like that, no punctuation of any kind.). The Ex says she will not be paying for any school lunch or milk; asks Husband if he would like to pay for Son and Daughter's lunches on weekends and during the summer? (....is she kidding? She can't honestly be serious.)
Husband emails her back; says he doesn't understand because last year, she did pay for school lunches. Husband quotes the court order over what a variable expense is, points out that The Ex has not helped pay for any of the kids' tuition over the past four years, says that three school lunches a week are not asking The Ex to pay for food in our house; says that if they can't agree, they will have to return to court to get the order clarified. (She was told this, more than once. We don't file anything until she does; once she has a motion in place, then we file since we're going to be going to court anyway.)
The Ex emails Husband again. First thing she writes is, "I have all the infrmation for [Son] and [Daughter] to play in [Hometown]. We need to sign them up before Sunday or we will have late fees added." (Um...what? What part of "I do not agree" translates to "We're signing the kids up in Hometown"? Is she honestly this crazy?) The Ex says the kids are with her primarily in the summer and Son wants to play in Hometown; the kids are with Husband primarily during the school year so they should allow the children to play sports in Our City/School City then (Remember this statement, it's important when I blog about Football 2013!) Now, The Ex says Husband deprived her of the kids for 6 months (Yeah, Boyfriend getting drunk and you lying about lice had nothing to do with that. No, Husband just woke up one day and said, "I think I'll be a douche and not let the kids go by their mom with absolutely no grounds for this whatsoever.") and says the only reason Husband wants the kids to play baseball in School City is to deprive her of her summer with them (Not really. They're kids and should get to do normal kid things; it's not their fault their parents got divorced and their mom moved 70 miles away.) The Ex says if the kids play in School City she won't see them because she "can't afford to drive them over there 3-5 times a week if not more for practices and games. The only logical solution would be to enroll them in [Hometown] before it is too late." (So it's back to money again. You moved away, and now you're complaining about how far away we live. You have two car payments and no job, but you can't afford to bring your kids to their baseball games.)
Husband emails The Ex again; says again that he does not agree to sports in Hometown. Husband says that while she has primary summer placement, baseball starts in April/May which is Husband's placement time (Translation: her argument about getting to choose where they play because it's "her" time is completely stupid); he repeats what he said about not being able to leave work just to take the kids to practices or games. Husband calls out The Ex's absurd claim of him trying to "deprive" her, says he was concerned about the kids being around Boyfriend and his alcoholism; quotes a police report in which The Ex said Boyfriend is "very angry and violent when he drinks." (And this was a year and a half before she married him. He's "very angry and violent when he drinks," but let's marry him anyway. That should really help the kids, being subjected to this on a regular basis) Husband again lists his objections to the kids playing in Hometown, points out that The Ex's only objection to them playing in School City is that she doesn't want to make the drive. Husband points out that if The Ex can afford to drive to Hometown "3-5 times a week if not more" then she can afford to drive to School City
The Ex didn't reply to this. A few days later, Son asked Husband to buy him a new baseball glove. Husband said he was still waiting to hear if The Ex was going to let them play or not; Husband sent The Ex an email on a Tuesday telling her about this, says he's still waiting for an answer from her. Husband says he doesn't want to sign them up and then have The Ex say she's not helping pay for it, or to tell the kids they can play and then have The Ex say they can't. Husband says the kids are really hoping to play but he won't enroll them if she doesn't agree; if he doesn't hear back from The Ex by the end of the week, he'll assume she agrees to them playing in School City and will go from there.
The Ex waits until Tuesday, then emails Husband back saying she has the kids primarily in the summer so she thinks she "should be the one to sign the kids up for the summer sports." (What does it matter who signs them up? You can drive up to School City and sign them up if you want, I don't really care) Says baseball "didn't even come up for the kids until I mentioned if they wanted to play in [Hometown]. That is why the kids asked you if they could play baseball." (Oh, really? You were here on a Wednesday when they came home from school and said, "Can we play baseball?" No, you were not. The kids brought home flyers from school, said they want to play in School City. You were not a part of this equation.) Now, The Ex says that Husband only wants the kids to play in School City because it's convenient for him; she repeats she wants them to play in Hometown because it's a halfway point for both of them. (School City = friends and classmates that the kids know and are comfortable with. Hometown = one cousin, who may or may not even end up on the same team as Son; everyone else is a stranger. Yes, Husband wants this out of convenience to himself. Here is The Ex, trying sOoOoOo hard to be amicable and Husband is just thinking of himself. Horrible, horrible father!) The Ex says that if the kids play where Husband wants, she will bring them to their games but not their practices (She honestly thinks this is fair. That was the very next thing she wrote, "I believe this is fair for the children and for both of us.") Then she says that the kids told her that I already signed them up, and that I took them another day to pick out uniforms (Whaaaaat?!)
Husband emails back. Runs through eeeeverything again (You know, just in case she forgot how completely stupid she has sounded through all of this) Says if the kids miss practices, they'll get benched; how does she find this to be "fair"? (Because it's not.) Tells her that I didn't sign Son or Daughter up and I never took them to pick out uniforms because uniforms are provided by the rec department (So pretty much, you're a big fat liar) Asks again, for the bazillionth time, for confirmation on if she agrees to the kids playing baseball in School City. (Again, The Ex did not respond. Husband sent her three more emails before baseball started; The Ex refused to reply to him, so he signed the kids up.)
We ended up resuming the regular schedule, hammered out a court agreement for The Ex to get "make up" time for the times we wouldn't let her have the kids, got it signed and settled; part of the agreement was that we wouldn't have to pay The Ex's attorneys fees and in exchange, we would waive the $700+ that she owed us for variable expenses and medical bills.
In the middle of this, Attorney 4 stated that The Ex didn't agree with having to pay for Daughter's basketball shoes because she "didn't agree" to Daughter playing (She owed $14.80 for the shoes. Husband emailed The Ex about basketball in October, it started in November, The Ex never objected to it - now in March, The Ex suddenly "didn't agree" to Daughter playing) She was also now arguing over school lunches; she didn't want to pay for those, either. (Let's just call it what it is: The Ex is a deadbeat parent who doesn't want to support her children in any way, shape or form)
The kids came home from school with notes about baseball sign-up; both Son and Daughter said they wanted to play in School City and Son also wants to play football again (Remember the fun we had last time he wanted to play football?) but wants to play in School City instead of by our house this year. Husband emailed The Ex about this; she did not reply. Two days later when they met so The Ex could pick up the kids, she gets out of her car and the first thing to leave her mouth is, "[Son], where did you want to play baseball again? You want to play in [Hometown] with [your cousin], right?" Husband tells her he's not going to discuss this with her in front of the kids (Because The Ex will never agree with Husband about anything. It is a constant argument and unless you concede to The Ex's wishes, she will argue with you until she's blue in the face. The kids don't need to listen to their parents arguing about them playing sports), at a gas station of all places; he says he will talk to her later about it.
A month later, Husband emails some receipts to The Ex and reminds her that the kids want to play baseball. Husband says he wants to discuss it because of her waiting until the basketball season had ended and then saying she disagreed with Daughter playing. The Ex emails him back, says she and Attorney 4 "never said [Daughter] couldn't play basketball" (Sooo...she didn't agree, but she didn't disagree? How can she even say this? Does she think this actually makes sense? My head hurts...) and implies that Husband signed up Daughter without The Ex's consent (Because emailing her two weeks before the first basketball practice takes place doesn't give her enough time to say, "I don't agree to this."). The Ex says, "As per our court order (I absolutely love it when she tries to sound educated and it backfires, like her use of the phrase "As per...") we are to agree on extra curricular (yes, she spelled it as two words) activities for both children. In this case nothing was agreed upon." (So if she doesn't object, that means nothing? She has to put into writing that she agrees otherwise it doesn't count? And she wonders why Husband only communicates with her by email...) The Ex says she tried talking to Husband about baseball and he walked away from her (This is her constant claim: Husband walked away when she tries talking to him. She "was trying to discuss the children's summer sports schedule" and Husband walked away. She claimed six months later that she was trying to talk to him and he walked away. He should be in excellent physical condition considering all the walking he does.); says she has the kids most of the summer, so she asked them what sports and where they want to play, Son said he wants to play in Hometown so The Ex is going to enroll them in Hometown. The Ex also agrees to Son playing football in Hometown in the fall. (Again, I don't think she understands the words she uses. By saying she agrees to Son playing football in Hometown, that would imply that Husband also thinks Son should play there - which he most certainly does not.) The Ex says it would be more convenient for her to enroll the kids in New City, but Hometown is "a half way point" for both of them (They both have to drive almost an hour in one direction; how does this make sense to her?)
Husband replies to the email; says The Ex brought up sports in Hometown once, after Husband had already told her that the kids wanted to play in School City. Husband tells her that he asked Son when Hometown had come into the picture; Son said, "I don't know, Mom brought it up." Husband says the kids don't live in or near Hometown, they don't go to school in Hometown, he and I have jobs that we can't leave to take the kids to practices or games, and enrollment for Hometown already passed; because of these reasons, he does not agree to the kids playing sports in Hometown. (Logical, yes?)
The Ex emails Husband back, says she noticed that Husband sent a receipt for school lunches. The Ex says she wants to "make it clear" that school lunches and milk are "considered a basic cost not a variable expense" (Just like that, no punctuation of any kind.). The Ex says she will not be paying for any school lunch or milk; asks Husband if he would like to pay for Son and Daughter's lunches on weekends and during the summer? (....is she kidding? She can't honestly be serious.)
Husband emails her back; says he doesn't understand because last year, she did pay for school lunches. Husband quotes the court order over what a variable expense is, points out that The Ex has not helped pay for any of the kids' tuition over the past four years, says that three school lunches a week are not asking The Ex to pay for food in our house; says that if they can't agree, they will have to return to court to get the order clarified. (She was told this, more than once. We don't file anything until she does; once she has a motion in place, then we file since we're going to be going to court anyway.)
The Ex emails Husband again. First thing she writes is, "I have all the infrmation for [Son] and [Daughter] to play in [Hometown]. We need to sign them up before Sunday or we will have late fees added." (Um...what? What part of "I do not agree" translates to "We're signing the kids up in Hometown"? Is she honestly this crazy?) The Ex says the kids are with her primarily in the summer and Son wants to play in Hometown; the kids are with Husband primarily during the school year so they should allow the children to play sports in Our City/School City then (Remember this statement, it's important when I blog about Football 2013!) Now, The Ex says Husband deprived her of the kids for 6 months (Yeah, Boyfriend getting drunk and you lying about lice had nothing to do with that. No, Husband just woke up one day and said, "I think I'll be a douche and not let the kids go by their mom with absolutely no grounds for this whatsoever.") and says the only reason Husband wants the kids to play baseball in School City is to deprive her of her summer with them (Not really. They're kids and should get to do normal kid things; it's not their fault their parents got divorced and their mom moved 70 miles away.) The Ex says if the kids play in School City she won't see them because she "can't afford to drive them over there 3-5 times a week if not more for practices and games. The only logical solution would be to enroll them in [Hometown] before it is too late." (So it's back to money again. You moved away, and now you're complaining about how far away we live. You have two car payments and no job, but you can't afford to bring your kids to their baseball games.)
Husband emails The Ex again; says again that he does not agree to sports in Hometown. Husband says that while she has primary summer placement, baseball starts in April/May which is Husband's placement time (Translation: her argument about getting to choose where they play because it's "her" time is completely stupid); he repeats what he said about not being able to leave work just to take the kids to practices or games. Husband calls out The Ex's absurd claim of him trying to "deprive" her, says he was concerned about the kids being around Boyfriend and his alcoholism; quotes a police report in which The Ex said Boyfriend is "very angry and violent when he drinks." (And this was a year and a half before she married him. He's "very angry and violent when he drinks," but let's marry him anyway. That should really help the kids, being subjected to this on a regular basis) Husband again lists his objections to the kids playing in Hometown, points out that The Ex's only objection to them playing in School City is that she doesn't want to make the drive. Husband points out that if The Ex can afford to drive to Hometown "3-5 times a week if not more" then she can afford to drive to School City
The Ex didn't reply to this. A few days later, Son asked Husband to buy him a new baseball glove. Husband said he was still waiting to hear if The Ex was going to let them play or not; Husband sent The Ex an email on a Tuesday telling her about this, says he's still waiting for an answer from her. Husband says he doesn't want to sign them up and then have The Ex say she's not helping pay for it, or to tell the kids they can play and then have The Ex say they can't. Husband says the kids are really hoping to play but he won't enroll them if she doesn't agree; if he doesn't hear back from The Ex by the end of the week, he'll assume she agrees to them playing in School City and will go from there.
The Ex waits until Tuesday, then emails Husband back saying she has the kids primarily in the summer so she thinks she "should be the one to sign the kids up for the summer sports." (What does it matter who signs them up? You can drive up to School City and sign them up if you want, I don't really care) Says baseball "didn't even come up for the kids until I mentioned if they wanted to play in [Hometown]. That is why the kids asked you if they could play baseball." (Oh, really? You were here on a Wednesday when they came home from school and said, "Can we play baseball?" No, you were not. The kids brought home flyers from school, said they want to play in School City. You were not a part of this equation.) Now, The Ex says that Husband only wants the kids to play in School City because it's convenient for him; she repeats she wants them to play in Hometown because it's a halfway point for both of them. (School City = friends and classmates that the kids know and are comfortable with. Hometown = one cousin, who may or may not even end up on the same team as Son; everyone else is a stranger. Yes, Husband wants this out of convenience to himself. Here is The Ex, trying sOoOoOo hard to be amicable and Husband is just thinking of himself. Horrible, horrible father!) The Ex says that if the kids play where Husband wants, she will bring them to their games but not their practices (She honestly thinks this is fair. That was the very next thing she wrote, "I believe this is fair for the children and for both of us.") Then she says that the kids told her that I already signed them up, and that I took them another day to pick out uniforms (Whaaaaat?!)
Husband emails back. Runs through eeeeverything again (You know, just in case she forgot how completely stupid she has sounded through all of this) Says if the kids miss practices, they'll get benched; how does she find this to be "fair"? (Because it's not.) Tells her that I didn't sign Son or Daughter up and I never took them to pick out uniforms because uniforms are provided by the rec department (So pretty much, you're a big fat liar) Asks again, for the bazillionth time, for confirmation on if she agrees to the kids playing baseball in School City. (Again, The Ex did not respond. Husband sent her three more emails before baseball started; The Ex refused to reply to him, so he signed the kids up.)
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