Cheerleading / The NBA game
The kids came to live here primarily, on a "temporary" basis until we could have a court trial. They started school and in one of the newsletters, there was a flyer for cheerleading. We asked Daughter, who said she wanted to sign up. When we went to pick up the kids one night, Husband told The Ex about it and asked if she would want to help pay for some of it. The Ex said, "Well you never helped me out when I put them in sports." (Okay, but when you put them in sports, you were getting almost $400/month in child support; you would show up at our house announcing that we owed you money without any receipts or paperwork showing what was actually paid for the activity. Now we have the kids most of the time, you're paying absolutely nothing in child support and still refuse to help pay for activities? Plain and simple, you are a deadbeat mother.)
One night, The Ex called to talk to the kids and Daughter reminded her that her cheerleading squad was supposed to be performing in a parade that weekend; The Ex told Daughter that she "already made plans" that day so Daughter wasn't going to be in the parade (Three months ago when she still had placement, The Ex called up Husband and said, "This is what the baseball schedule is, the kids have to be there." Now it's, "We have plans, you're not going." Nice, right?)
About a week and a half after this, I sent The Ex a text message reminding her that Daughter had a cheerleading performance that Friday and had to be there by 7pm, so did she want to pick up the kids from there? The Ex ignored me. A few more days went by with no response from The Ex, so Husband tried calling her; she didn't answer. Husband then called The Ex's mom, since her parents were usually the ones picking up the kids for her; Husband asked if they were planning on picking up both kids after the performance, or if they were going to pick the kids up at 5pm and wait around here until the performance. The Ex's mom said she hadn't heard anything about the performance but would try to get a hold of The Ex and would call Husband back.
A few minutes later, Husband's phone rang - it was The Ex (Who he had just tried calling but she didn't answer. Now, she's magically free to talk.) The Ex is angry (Big shocker, right?) and starts accusing Husband of forcing Daughter to be in cheerleading and said that Daughter didn't like being in it (Absurd. What would we gain from forcing her to do anything? Daughter loved cheerleading.) Husband told The Ex that wasn't true; we asked Daughter if she wanted to join, she said yes so we enrolled her. The Ex then said that Husband never talked to her about it before signing Daughter up for it. (Here we go again) Husband told her that also wasn't true because he talked to her and asked if she wanted to help pay the fees, which she refused to do; he reminded her of what her exact answer was, and how she would sign the kids up and then demand to be reimbursed. The Ex then demanded to know how we had paid for Daughter's cheerleading and said that Daughter had told her that I had broken into Daughter's piggy bank, stolen her money and forced her to pay for her own cheerleading (Daughter didn't have a piggy bank and I have never stolen in my life; Husband told all of this to The Ex) The Ex then said that Daughter was too little to be performing at away games; Husband told her it wasn't an away game, Daughter went to school in School City and the performance was in School City (She doesn't even know where her kids are going to school, even though she had a hissy fit over them going to the school we wanted) The Ex then announced that she would be at our house between 5pm-6pm. Husband told her that wouldn't work because Daughter needed to be at the high school no later than 7pm. The Ex begins screaming, "Well, I don't know if I can be standing outside in the cold. I have a kid, you know!" (I don't even know what this means, to be honest. It wasn't the middle of winter or anything.) Husband told The Ex that she could come to the performance if she wanted but no one was forcing her. The Ex told Husband that we should just make Daughter miss her performance (Because that makes sense) and accused Husband of making the kids miss practices and games when she had enrolled them in baseball (Son missed one practice before the season started because we were having Baby Girl's birthday party that day, and were told about the practice five days before the party.) Husband told The Ex this was not true and she screamed, "Yes it is! I know, because I was at every game they had!" (Except for tryouts that you missed, saying they were too early but then didn't come when they got pushed forward an hour and a half. And except the game you missed when you were 2 minutes away. And except for in June when you told us that if your dad didn't come pick up the kids, they weren't going to their games that week. And except for the 3 tournament games Son played in that you missed because you didn't show up. Do I really need to keep going or have I made my point?) The Ex then continued yelling and rambling before finally hanging up on Husband.
Flash forward a few months. Not much happened, since most of the cheerleading took place during the week so The Ex wasn't bothered with having to support Daughter in her activities. (Insert some sarcasm there) Then came the NBA game. Only a few girls out of the whole squad were picked to perform at halftime for our state NBA team; Daughter was one of those girls. If we wanted to watch the game, we would have to buy our own ticket so Husband called The Ex to let her know this because her dad had expressed interest in attending. The Ex said, "Can [Boyfriend] come?" Husband said no, Boyfriend could not come (Remember that court order that said Boyfriend wasn't allowed to be in contact with the kids? Yeah. It's there for a reason) The Ex said, "Why not? You're going?" (You're correct, Husband was going. Husband is also Daughter's legal and biological father, who is not a violent alcoholic and is not prohibited by court order from having contact with Son or Daughter)
In order to perform at the NBA game, the girls had to attend three extra mandatory practices; the coach wanted to make sure they had the routine down pat so the practices were scheduled during the following month. One of the three practices was on The Ex's placement weekend, so Husband called to tell her that Daughter needed to go to that practice. The Ex immediately began complaining, "I don't want to do all that running around in one weekend." (At this point, Boyfriend was still not allowed contact with the kids. The Ex would pick the kids up, take them to her parents' place in Hometown for the weekend and then drive back to New City on Sunday afternoon so we would have to make the drive all the way down there just to pick them up.) Husband told her that he did not make the schedule; Daughter had to go to practice or she could not perform at the game. The Ex asked to switch weekends; Husband told her that they could switch, but another mandatory practice was on his weekend also, so Daughter would need to be taken to practice anyway. The Ex replied, "I don't know what your problem is. You're not working with me." (Once again, this is not about you. This is about Daughter getting to do something she wants to do. I'm sorry that having children is such an inconvenience to you.) Husband told The Ex, again, this was not something he had any control over. The Ex said, "Can't she just miss one practice? Why do I have to take her?" (She honestly said this. How dare Daughter be so selfish at the age of seven that she want to do things and have fun, can't she see this is cutting into The Ex's time??) Husband told The Ex that if she was not going to bring Daughter to practice, then she could be the one to tell Daughter she wasn't going to perform at the game because Husband was not going to do it. The Ex then said she would talk to her dad about taking Daughter that day (She doesn't want to look like the "bad guy" to Daughter. Now, she's willing to take Daughter to practice.)
The day after the arguing about one practice:
"Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. Um, I’m supposed to get back to you in the morning; I forgot and I missed your call yesterday. Talked to Mom and Dad, and we want four tickets, so...I guess you need to call me back. (...why? You want four tickets. Conversation, over) Call me back at, tom- you’re gonna have to call me back tomorrow, so...otherwise if you call me back right away! (Because Husband doesn't have a job or anything. Call her back, right now! And I'm still trying to figure out why he needs to call her back) ‘Cause I’m gonna be heading to bed here pretty soon. It’s 1:30, just about. I haven’t slept yet. (And we care, why?) Um...so you’re gonna have to let me know how we’re paying for this. (With money, one would imagine) And when she needs the money, so...we’ll talk later. Bye."
At some point, we got an email from Daughter's coach to all the parents, saying we needed to put our child's name on their ticket. I was slightly confused and emailed the coach, asking if we were supposed to buy a ticket for Daughter; I had assumed that she was getting in with her group and didn't need a separate ticket. The coach emails back and said each girl needs a ticket (So now we're one ticket short. Son of a....) Husband calls The Ex to tell her we're short a ticket; The Ex completely flips out, starts yelling that we did it on purpose (Why would we do this on purpose? What a ridiculous thing to say) The Ex then says she's not taking Daughter to the game because Daughter "doesn't want to go." Husband told her that wasn't true; The Ex literally screamed into the phone, "SHE JUST SAID SHE DON'T WANT TO GO!" Husband told The Ex that the tickets were already bought, the coach was counting on Daughter being there and that Daughter was going to attend.
In the end, Daughter did go to perform at the game and did great. A few months later, the coach went back to work and had to readjust the practice/performance schedule so everything got pushed to Sunday afternoons. Due to The Ex having the kids three weekends a month, we had to tell her that Daughter would no longer be participating.
One night, The Ex called to talk to the kids and Daughter reminded her that her cheerleading squad was supposed to be performing in a parade that weekend; The Ex told Daughter that she "already made plans" that day so Daughter wasn't going to be in the parade (Three months ago when she still had placement, The Ex called up Husband and said, "This is what the baseball schedule is, the kids have to be there." Now it's, "We have plans, you're not going." Nice, right?)
About a week and a half after this, I sent The Ex a text message reminding her that Daughter had a cheerleading performance that Friday and had to be there by 7pm, so did she want to pick up the kids from there? The Ex ignored me. A few more days went by with no response from The Ex, so Husband tried calling her; she didn't answer. Husband then called The Ex's mom, since her parents were usually the ones picking up the kids for her; Husband asked if they were planning on picking up both kids after the performance, or if they were going to pick the kids up at 5pm and wait around here until the performance. The Ex's mom said she hadn't heard anything about the performance but would try to get a hold of The Ex and would call Husband back.
A few minutes later, Husband's phone rang - it was The Ex (Who he had just tried calling but she didn't answer. Now, she's magically free to talk.) The Ex is angry (Big shocker, right?) and starts accusing Husband of forcing Daughter to be in cheerleading and said that Daughter didn't like being in it (Absurd. What would we gain from forcing her to do anything? Daughter loved cheerleading.) Husband told The Ex that wasn't true; we asked Daughter if she wanted to join, she said yes so we enrolled her. The Ex then said that Husband never talked to her about it before signing Daughter up for it. (Here we go again) Husband told her that also wasn't true because he talked to her and asked if she wanted to help pay the fees, which she refused to do; he reminded her of what her exact answer was, and how she would sign the kids up and then demand to be reimbursed. The Ex then demanded to know how we had paid for Daughter's cheerleading and said that Daughter had told her that I had broken into Daughter's piggy bank, stolen her money and forced her to pay for her own cheerleading (Daughter didn't have a piggy bank and I have never stolen in my life; Husband told all of this to The Ex) The Ex then said that Daughter was too little to be performing at away games; Husband told her it wasn't an away game, Daughter went to school in School City and the performance was in School City (She doesn't even know where her kids are going to school, even though she had a hissy fit over them going to the school we wanted) The Ex then announced that she would be at our house between 5pm-6pm. Husband told her that wouldn't work because Daughter needed to be at the high school no later than 7pm. The Ex begins screaming, "Well, I don't know if I can be standing outside in the cold. I have a kid, you know!" (I don't even know what this means, to be honest. It wasn't the middle of winter or anything.) Husband told The Ex that she could come to the performance if she wanted but no one was forcing her. The Ex told Husband that we should just make Daughter miss her performance (Because that makes sense) and accused Husband of making the kids miss practices and games when she had enrolled them in baseball (Son missed one practice before the season started because we were having Baby Girl's birthday party that day, and were told about the practice five days before the party.) Husband told The Ex this was not true and she screamed, "Yes it is! I know, because I was at every game they had!" (Except for tryouts that you missed, saying they were too early but then didn't come when they got pushed forward an hour and a half. And except the game you missed when you were 2 minutes away. And except for in June when you told us that if your dad didn't come pick up the kids, they weren't going to their games that week. And except for the 3 tournament games Son played in that you missed because you didn't show up. Do I really need to keep going or have I made my point?) The Ex then continued yelling and rambling before finally hanging up on Husband.
Flash forward a few months. Not much happened, since most of the cheerleading took place during the week so The Ex wasn't bothered with having to support Daughter in her activities. (Insert some sarcasm there) Then came the NBA game. Only a few girls out of the whole squad were picked to perform at halftime for our state NBA team; Daughter was one of those girls. If we wanted to watch the game, we would have to buy our own ticket so Husband called The Ex to let her know this because her dad had expressed interest in attending. The Ex said, "Can [Boyfriend] come?" Husband said no, Boyfriend could not come (Remember that court order that said Boyfriend wasn't allowed to be in contact with the kids? Yeah. It's there for a reason) The Ex said, "Why not? You're going?" (You're correct, Husband was going. Husband is also Daughter's legal and biological father, who is not a violent alcoholic and is not prohibited by court order from having contact with Son or Daughter)
In order to perform at the NBA game, the girls had to attend three extra mandatory practices; the coach wanted to make sure they had the routine down pat so the practices were scheduled during the following month. One of the three practices was on The Ex's placement weekend, so Husband called to tell her that Daughter needed to go to that practice. The Ex immediately began complaining, "I don't want to do all that running around in one weekend." (At this point, Boyfriend was still not allowed contact with the kids. The Ex would pick the kids up, take them to her parents' place in Hometown for the weekend and then drive back to New City on Sunday afternoon so we would have to make the drive all the way down there just to pick them up.) Husband told her that he did not make the schedule; Daughter had to go to practice or she could not perform at the game. The Ex asked to switch weekends; Husband told her that they could switch, but another mandatory practice was on his weekend also, so Daughter would need to be taken to practice anyway. The Ex replied, "I don't know what your problem is. You're not working with me." (Once again, this is not about you. This is about Daughter getting to do something she wants to do. I'm sorry that having children is such an inconvenience to you.) Husband told The Ex, again, this was not something he had any control over. The Ex said, "Can't she just miss one practice? Why do I have to take her?" (She honestly said this. How dare Daughter be so selfish at the age of seven that she want to do things and have fun, can't she see this is cutting into The Ex's time??) Husband told The Ex that if she was not going to bring Daughter to practice, then she could be the one to tell Daughter she wasn't going to perform at the game because Husband was not going to do it. The Ex then said she would talk to her dad about taking Daughter that day (She doesn't want to look like the "bad guy" to Daughter. Now, she's willing to take Daughter to practice.)
The day after the arguing about one practice:
"Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. Um, I’m supposed to get back to you in the morning; I forgot and I missed your call yesterday. Talked to Mom and Dad, and we want four tickets, so...I guess you need to call me back. (...why? You want four tickets. Conversation, over) Call me back at, tom- you’re gonna have to call me back tomorrow, so...otherwise if you call me back right away! (Because Husband doesn't have a job or anything. Call her back, right now! And I'm still trying to figure out why he needs to call her back) ‘Cause I’m gonna be heading to bed here pretty soon. It’s 1:30, just about. I haven’t slept yet. (And we care, why?) Um...so you’re gonna have to let me know how we’re paying for this. (With money, one would imagine) And when she needs the money, so...we’ll talk later. Bye."
At some point, we got an email from Daughter's coach to all the parents, saying we needed to put our child's name on their ticket. I was slightly confused and emailed the coach, asking if we were supposed to buy a ticket for Daughter; I had assumed that she was getting in with her group and didn't need a separate ticket. The coach emails back and said each girl needs a ticket (So now we're one ticket short. Son of a....) Husband calls The Ex to tell her we're short a ticket; The Ex completely flips out, starts yelling that we did it on purpose (Why would we do this on purpose? What a ridiculous thing to say) The Ex then says she's not taking Daughter to the game because Daughter "doesn't want to go." Husband told her that wasn't true; The Ex literally screamed into the phone, "SHE JUST SAID SHE DON'T WANT TO GO!" Husband told The Ex that the tickets were already bought, the coach was counting on Daughter being there and that Daughter was going to attend.
In the end, Daughter did go to perform at the game and did great. A few months later, the coach went back to work and had to readjust the practice/performance schedule so everything got pushed to Sunday afternoons. Due to The Ex having the kids three weekends a month, we had to tell her that Daughter would no longer be participating.
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