Police reports 2009

  The first report was in March.  The Ex called the police and said Boyfriend had taken her vehicle (She let him drive it all the time.  It was only a problem when she decided it was a problem)  Two minutes later, The Ex told dispatch she had found Boyfriend and the vehicle, and said that Boyfriend was drunk.  Dispatch noted in the report that they could hear yelling and swearing.  The police showed up, Boyfriend gave the key to the officer and The Ex took the car and left. (Son and Daughter were here for this incident.  Daughter explained to me, in detail, how "[Boyfriend] took Mommy's car"; how "[Boyfriend and his brother] were drinking beer and [Boyfriend's brother] threw a bottle down the stairs and it broke"; how "[Boyfriend] lied and told the police he didn't have the key, but then gave the key to the police."  Daughter had way too much information about this incident for her to be only repeating what someone else had said)

  The second report came about half an hour after The Ex got her car back; Boyfriend called 911 from the house phone.  Boyfriend told dispatch that his brother and the brother's girlfriend were not home; Boyfriend said that his brother's name was also Boyfriend, and that the brother's girlfriend's name was also The Ex (He was this drunk)  Dispatch put Boyfriend on hold, came back to an open line; they could hear banging around in the background (Probably Boyfriend falling over drunk) and music.  Then Boyfriend hung up the phone.  Dispatch tried calling back, left a message and sent an officer.  Boyfriend told the officer that his last name was The Ex's last name, and said he was concerned about his relationship with his girlfriend.  The responding officer told Boyfriend to "go to bed, sober up and call [The Ex] in the morning." (I have been drunk before.  However, I have never been so drunk that I call 911 for a therapy session)

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  The next report was the day before Easter.  Officers were dispatched to Boyfriend and The Ex's apartment on report of a domestic disturbance.  The first officer met with The Ex's cousin, who was outside crying; The Ex had called her, upset and crying, saying that Boyfriend had been pushing her.  The Ex's cousin came over; Boyfriend and The Ex were arguing over their daughter and Boyfriend was threatening to kick the TV.  Boyfriend told the cousin to leave three times and got more upset, before she finally left.

  Boyfriend told the first officer that The Ex had gone to a candle party and was supposed to be home between 1 and 2pm that afternoon; The Ex was late by 2-3 hours and Boyfriend got upset.  When The Ex got home, Boyfriend had been drinking and they got into an argument over her being late; Boyfriend was upset because he felt that they did not have enough money for The Ex to be out spending it.  Boyfriend left to get dinner with his siblings; The Ex called him and told him he needed to come home (It's beyond me why she did this.  If he was drunk and upset, just let him go out and stay there.)  Boyfriend came home and they kept arguing.  Boyfriend was holding their daughter and The Ex wanted to take her, but Boyfriend wouldn't let her.  Boyfriend admitted he had pushed The Ex onto the couch but said that she had pushed him first.  Boyfriend also admitted to threatening to kick in the TV and pulled back his leg like he was going to, but didn't actually do it.

  The second officer wrote in his report that The Ex was crying and looked emotionally distraught; he noted that her face showed signs of lots of crying and her makeup was running.  The Ex told the second officer that she and Boyfriend fight once every three weeks, and usually argue and get into fights like this when Boyfriend is drinking.  The Ex said when Boyfriend drinks, he yells a lot and sometimes pushes her, and when he does this she is fearful of him and does not want him around.  The Ex said that she had a party to go to and told Boyfriend not to be there if he was going to be drinking (So apparently, Boyfriend was drinking before The Ex even left for the party)

  The Ex didn't come home until 4:20pm; Boyfriend thought she was going to be home at 1pm.  The Ex said she was in the back of her residence with neighbors beginning to celebrate Easter; when Boyfriend got home, The Ex took their daughter inside and said she did not want her neighbors to see Boyfriend get mad and yell at her (Then why would you call him and tell him to come back home?)

  The Ex said when they got in the house, Boyfriend pushed her down onto the couch and was yelling at her.  The Ex said she got up and tried to leave, and Boyfriend pushed her into the patio door.  The Ex called her cousin; by the time the cousin came over, the argument had changed to the TV.  Boyfriend was mad that The Ex had bought the TV and felt it was a waste of money; Boyfriend was holding their daughter and said he was going to kick in the TV (He's going to kick in a TV while holding his daughter, who wasn't even nine months old at the time.  This guy is a real winner)  The Ex said she does not like it when Boyfriend drinks and yells like this; The Ex said she becomes fearful that he is going to hurt her.  The Ex said when they argue like this once every three weeks, she is fearful for her safety because Boyfriend gets very angry and violent when he drinks (But how dare we try to get custody of the kids.  Clearly, she has the more stable household for them)  There were also statements from Son and Daughter; they both saw Boyfriend push The Ex, they both said they argue and yell very loudly.

  Boyfriend was arrested for domestic violence and taken to the police department.  The first officer was notified by dispatch that The Ex was calling, saying that Boyfriend was calling her from the booking room.  The officer asked Boyfriend if he had called The Ex, and he admitted he had been.  The officer called The Ex and asked if Boyfriend had threatened her; The Ex said Boyfriend had said "Thanks a lot for doing this to me." (So nothing is ever The Ex's fault and now, nothing is ever Boyfriend's fault.  Good luck with that)  Boyfriend posted bond, got out and ended up pleading guilty to the charge.

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  The next report was three months later, when the kids went to speak to the guardian ad litem and we were advised not to return the kids to The Ex. (Also a lengthy report, so this will also be typed out in a few paragraphs)  Husband called her Wednesday, said he was not bringing the kids back and we would see her in court in two weeks; The Ex said she would call the police, Husband told her to go ahead.  The next morning, an officer from New City was sent to The Ex's apartment.  The Ex said Husband was supposed to bring the kids home Sunday night but had asked to keep them an hour or two longer; she said Husband called Sunday and asked to keep the kids til 6:30 or 7pm on Monday but had not brought the kids back (What actually happened was that Husband called The Ex on Monday afternoon and they agreed he would keep the kids until Wednesday night).  The Ex said she had spoken to Husband at 4:55pm on Wednesday and he said he was keeping the kids until Friday (Husband never said this)  The Ex gave the officer a copy of the court order and the contact information for the guardian ad litem (So as of that conversation, the guardian ad litem is okay by The Ex)  The officer said she would contact the guardian ad litem.

  The guardian ad litem told the officer that both Son and Daughter had told her there were fleas in The Ex's apartment and had been for a year.  The kids told the GAL that both The Ex and Boyfriend worked third shift, and that they were left home alone all night when The Ex and Boyfriend went to work (When the GAL asked The Ex about this, she replied that she wasn't going to talk without a lawyer and ended the interview) The kids told the GAL that during the day, their mom slept and they had to watch their 1-year-old sister.  The kids reported no sexual or physical abuse but said that Boyfriend drinks a lot and they are afraid of him when he drinks; they said they were not afraid of him for themselves but were scared for The Ex.  The GAL told the officer she was going to be contacting CPS and felt that the kids were safe with Husband; the officer said she would also be forwarding her report to CPS.  The officer spoke to Husband and then informed The Ex that no action would be taken against Husband, and that CPS was being contacted.

  Since this wasn't good enough for The Ex, she drove up to the police station in our city along with her sister and mom (The Ex is very dependent and can't do anything on her own) The Ex showed the officer a copy of the court agreement and said that she and Husband had a verbal agreement that he would keep the kids until Wednesday night (Which is not what the told the officer in New City)  The officer told her she should not make verbal agreements because there was no way to enforce them (As we have learned on more than one occasion) and they said they would come over to Husband's and my place but did not think there was much they could do because it was a civil matter.

  The police showed up, Husband opened the door and was asked what was going on.  Husband said he was responsible for the kids and was not going to return them.  The Ex started saying she was supposed to have gotten the kids back on Sunday night; Husband repeated he was not going to give her the kids.  The officer noted in the report that it was becoming heated so he asked if he could come inside to speak to Husband; one officer stayed outside with The Ex and her family while the other came inside by us.

  Husband and I explained to the officer that we were withholding custody due to safety concerns at The Ex's house.  I told the officer that Boyfriend is an abusive alcoholic; we also told him that we had already talked to an officer in New City who said they were not going to do anything and Husband would be keeping the children.  The officer in our city had no idea that this had already been discussed with another police department.

  The officer went back outside to speak with The Ex and asked if she was aware of the upcoming court date, and she said she was (Which she later lied and said she hadn't been served, so we had to rush and get her served before the hearing date)  The officer asked what the hearing was about; The Ex said it was because Husband wanted full custody.  The officer asked if The Ex had spoken to the GAL.  The Ex said the GAL had lied to the police about issues with the kids (Why in heaven's name would the GAL lie?  What could she possibly gain from lying about you, Boyfriend, or anything else?) The Ex said she had met with the GAL but refused to talk to her because she didn't have an attorney present.  The officer asked The Ex if there were any problems with Boyfriend; The Ex said they were going to meditations (??) together because of Boyfriend's problems with DUIs.  The officer asked if The Ex had any contact with New City police that day; she said she had.  The officer asked what they had told her; The Ex said they told her there was nothing they could do and Husband would be keeping custody of the kids. (So waste the time and money to show up at our house with another officer.  Forget the actual problems in the world - The Ex is not getting her way!!!)

  The Ex then asked to talk to the kids.  The officer said he did not think this was a good idea but would ask us how we felt.  Husband said no because The Ex would definitely make a scene; I told the officer that The Ex cannot be trusted and had gotten charged with disorderly conduct in the past for showing up at Husband's work (Did I tell you about that?  I don't think I did.  I'll do that one in the next blog) I told the officer we did not want to make this look like we were not letting The Ex see the kids, but wanted what was best for the kids.  The officer said he understood, went outside and told The Ex that she needed to leave.  The officer also told The Ex, her mom and her sister that they were not to come back to our residence.