Voicemails from 2008
In early 2008, one of the kids brought home a folder from their school so we learned where they were attending. Husband sent a letter to the school with a copy of the court agreement showing that he was supposed to be involved in the kids' schooling; Husband said he did not know where the kids were attending until just recently and would like to start receiving information about the kids' schooling - report cards, letters, etc. A few days after Husband mailed the letter, The Ex left him a voicemail:
“[Husband], I just got a phone call from the principal at the school saying that you want paperwork from the kids. (...okay, and?) I don’t understand how hard it was for you just to give me your address and zip code and everything, so I could do it. (Because you've been living in New City for 6 months now. The school should have had this information since Day 1) Principal actually laughed at it and said that that’s all you needed to do. (Probably not at all what happened) And I told him, I go, ‘I don’t even know his address; I just know he lives in [our old city].’ (She didn't have our address that we had lived at for 15 months) But, but yeah. I am fillin’ out paperwork so you can have everything sent down over to you. (...huh? There is no paperwork for you to fill out. The court order says Husband can have access to this information. Husband already gave the school all of his info. There is literally nothing that you are required to do at this point) I mean, that’s all it needed was your address. And, I don’t know. (The Ex laughs) It was just a laugh, I guess; we had a funny laugh over it. (You and the principal laughed because you didn't tell the kids' school about their father? How is that funny?) Because, he’s like, the principal did tell me too, that all we needed was the address and my permission. (Not even true. You do not have sole legal custody; you can tell the school not to give Husband anything and it won't fly because he is legally allowed to have access. Husband doesn't need your permission for anything.) And I go, ‘Well, you’ve always had my permission. He’s written down in it, I just didn’t know his address.’ He goes, ‘Yeah, I see that.’ But yeah, it was just kind of funny. And it’s funny that you don’t even let me know that you’re doing this. But that’s just like you.” (I have no idea what this means. It's funny that Husband didn't first tell The Ex that he was contacting the kids' school - why should he have to? It's "just like Husband" to stay in contact with his kids' school? Is this supposed to be an insult?)
A month later, we dropped the kids off at The Ex's after Husband's weekend. The Ex then called him and left a voicemail:
“Hey, it’s me. Um, [Son's] been complaining of his feet hurting. I want to know what happened and he stepped on something? ‘Cause, I guess I want to know so I can take him in for a tetanus shot. So give me a call back whenever. Bye.” (Son didn't step on anything when we had him and never once said that his feet hurt. Additionally, Son had already gotten all of his tetanus shots. Even if he had stepped on something, he did not need another shot. We weren't the primary custodial parents, yet we had to explain this to her)
A few months later, The Ex left Husband a voicemail about a dental bill:
“Hi, it’s me, [The Ex]. I’m calling about the dental bill. They sent me my first statement ‘cause I’m making 2 payments of $35.25. If you can post-date 2...and, well....you don’t even have to post-date ‘em anytime soon cause, I’m gonna make, I still have to make one more payment of $35.25. So, I figured it out. If you send two payments, it’ll be $35.25. (You said this three times now. I think I know how much we owe the dentist) Or if you wanna post-date 3 checks for 3 months at $23.50, that’s up to you. So, I guess I want ‘em post-dated and when you pick up the kids next Friday when you go to [your family's out of state], I’d like to have them. (You just said I don't have to post-date the checks "anytime soon." Now you want them by Friday?) So, if you have questions, call me. I don’t wanna argue about it. (Nobody is arguing.) But it’s $141 and it’s $70.50 between us. And like I said, I figured it out. (Wow, you can use a calculator. Gold star for you) Two checks would be $35.25 (Wait, how much was it again? You only said it four times, I think I missed it) or 3 checks would be $23.50 but she won’t go lower than that. I did give you a statement, so...um...I don’t know. I just would like them. And you can even put in the memo....or, it’s gonna be to [The Ex's dentist], just write it out to. But, call me on the house or cell, it don’t matter. (For what, exactly?) K? Bye.” (A week later when we picked up the kids, The Ex walked out of her house and asked, "Do you have my checks?" Husband told her no, we already paid the dentist directly.)
There weren't too many voicemails during the summer. Husband and The Ex would still talk on the phone because things weren't as high-conflict. It bit us a few times; she agreed we could have the kids, then changed her mind at the last second so everything had to get changed. Then Halloween rolled around.
Husband called The Ex about a week before Halloween, asking if they could switch weekends so we could take the kids trick-or-treating in our city. The Ex said no, she already made plans so we had to take them on our weekend and leave the schedule as it was. Then on Thursday, the day before the kids were supposed to come to our place, The Ex left Husband a message:
“Hey, it’s just me...[The Ex]. Just calling to see, if...um, I could have the kids this weekend. (We just asked you this last week. You said no) But I ca...if you say yes, I can’t switch for next weekend, either, because I..we’re going out to a big birthday party. (So, we're supposed to give you our weekend and just go without seeing the kids? The sad part is that this makes sense to her. She doesn't find it bizarre to think this is okay) So, um....I was wondering if I can have ‘em the next two weekends. (No) So, I guess I need to know because they’re gonna miss trick-or-treating, um... everywhere we go, ‘cause [Hometown] already had theirs; I thought they were havin’ theirs on Friday but I guess not. Um, [New City] don’t have theirs until 5 o’clock! (Let's go over this again: Husband asked if they could switch weekends. If The Ex had said yes, the kids would have gotten to go trick-or-treating twice. The Ex said no, and is now complaining that the kids will miss trick-or-treating) And the kids are really excited and yesterday was the trick-or-treat merchant’s in [Hometown] and I wasn’t gonna make a trip way out there just for that. (So you didn't want to switch, and you didn't want to take the kids trick-or-treating when you could have; your solution to this problem is that Husband should give up one of his two weekends that month. You are a complete fool) So I told the kids I’d see if I could keep ‘em this weekend, (So now the kids think that if they miss trick-or-treating, it will be Husband's fault and not The Ex's because Husband won't let them and The Ex is trying sooooo hard) so...I don’t know when [your city’s] is, ‘cause I guess you could take ‘em. I could just give you the outfits and you can send ‘em back. (Because you really have a use for Halloween outfits. They're not going to fit next year, why would you need them back?) So, call me tonight ‘cause I’m on my way home. If you turn your phone on within the next hour, go ahead and call me otherwise I’m going home to go to bed. (I don't care) I’ve got a major headache (I still don't care), just got my flu shot (Still not caring) and...I’m tired. (Omg, would you shut up already?) So...so yeah, just let me know what’s going on, if it’s okay. Otherwise, let me know when [your city’s] is so I can send ‘em with ...if, if you’ll take ‘em. (We would take them, if our city hadn't already had trick-or-treating. You refused to switch so they missed it by us, remember?) You know, so...talk to you later. Bye.”
About six weeks later, The Ex left Husband another message:
“Hey, not to get on your bad side. You’re not answering your phone; that was the whole reason why I wanted [your wife’s] number! (Which she had been given in the past, and just recently began claiming she didn't have) Anyways! Um, Dad’s meeting me at my work here in about...we should meet probably at the same time here...‘bout 10 minutes...and we were wondering if they’re going to your place or to [your sister’s] place, so...I guess you need to let me know. Um...I guess call me back otherwise I’m just gonna, we’re takin’ ‘em to [your city]. So...’cause I don’t think Dad knows where [your sister] lives. But okay, I...the reason he’s doin’ it, ‘cause I need to work. I was out of work 2 days ‘cause of the snow and...um, they’re letting anyone who missed work overtime so I’m jumping all over- it’s not overtime for me, obviously! (She caught herself here because she thought that her income would change child support. She didn't want Husband to know she was making more money. That, and she was always complaining that she never had money and Husband needed to pay her more) But, yeah...okay, so hopefully you get this soon. Talk to you later. Bye.” (Husband had to go pick up the kids anyway because The Ex's dad had been in an accident with the kids in the car. I'm not sure the entire situation, something about him cutting someone off, them following him with their highbeams on, The Ex's dad driving slow intentionally, the other driver called the police, the other driver then cut off The Ex's dad but clipped the front end of the car, so on and so forth. At some point, The Ex's dad was reprimanded by the officer for endangering the kids)
“[Husband], I just got a phone call from the principal at the school saying that you want paperwork from the kids. (...okay, and?) I don’t understand how hard it was for you just to give me your address and zip code and everything, so I could do it. (Because you've been living in New City for 6 months now. The school should have had this information since Day 1) Principal actually laughed at it and said that that’s all you needed to do. (Probably not at all what happened) And I told him, I go, ‘I don’t even know his address; I just know he lives in [our old city].’ (She didn't have our address that we had lived at for 15 months) But, but yeah. I am fillin’ out paperwork so you can have everything sent down over to you. (...huh? There is no paperwork for you to fill out. The court order says Husband can have access to this information. Husband already gave the school all of his info. There is literally nothing that you are required to do at this point) I mean, that’s all it needed was your address. And, I don’t know. (The Ex laughs) It was just a laugh, I guess; we had a funny laugh over it. (You and the principal laughed because you didn't tell the kids' school about their father? How is that funny?) Because, he’s like, the principal did tell me too, that all we needed was the address and my permission. (Not even true. You do not have sole legal custody; you can tell the school not to give Husband anything and it won't fly because he is legally allowed to have access. Husband doesn't need your permission for anything.) And I go, ‘Well, you’ve always had my permission. He’s written down in it, I just didn’t know his address.’ He goes, ‘Yeah, I see that.’ But yeah, it was just kind of funny. And it’s funny that you don’t even let me know that you’re doing this. But that’s just like you.” (I have no idea what this means. It's funny that Husband didn't first tell The Ex that he was contacting the kids' school - why should he have to? It's "just like Husband" to stay in contact with his kids' school? Is this supposed to be an insult?)
A month later, we dropped the kids off at The Ex's after Husband's weekend. The Ex then called him and left a voicemail:
“Hey, it’s me. Um, [Son's] been complaining of his feet hurting. I want to know what happened and he stepped on something? ‘Cause, I guess I want to know so I can take him in for a tetanus shot. So give me a call back whenever. Bye.” (Son didn't step on anything when we had him and never once said that his feet hurt. Additionally, Son had already gotten all of his tetanus shots. Even if he had stepped on something, he did not need another shot. We weren't the primary custodial parents, yet we had to explain this to her)
A few months later, The Ex left Husband a voicemail about a dental bill:
“Hi, it’s me, [The Ex]. I’m calling about the dental bill. They sent me my first statement ‘cause I’m making 2 payments of $35.25. If you can post-date 2...and, well....you don’t even have to post-date ‘em anytime soon cause, I’m gonna make, I still have to make one more payment of $35.25. So, I figured it out. If you send two payments, it’ll be $35.25. (You said this three times now. I think I know how much we owe the dentist) Or if you wanna post-date 3 checks for 3 months at $23.50, that’s up to you. So, I guess I want ‘em post-dated and when you pick up the kids next Friday when you go to [your family's out of state], I’d like to have them. (You just said I don't have to post-date the checks "anytime soon." Now you want them by Friday?) So, if you have questions, call me. I don’t wanna argue about it. (Nobody is arguing.) But it’s $141 and it’s $70.50 between us. And like I said, I figured it out. (Wow, you can use a calculator. Gold star for you) Two checks would be $35.25 (Wait, how much was it again? You only said it four times, I think I missed it) or 3 checks would be $23.50 but she won’t go lower than that. I did give you a statement, so...um...I don’t know. I just would like them. And you can even put in the memo....or, it’s gonna be to [The Ex's dentist], just write it out to. But, call me on the house or cell, it don’t matter. (For what, exactly?) K? Bye.” (A week later when we picked up the kids, The Ex walked out of her house and asked, "Do you have my checks?" Husband told her no, we already paid the dentist directly.)
There weren't too many voicemails during the summer. Husband and The Ex would still talk on the phone because things weren't as high-conflict. It bit us a few times; she agreed we could have the kids, then changed her mind at the last second so everything had to get changed. Then Halloween rolled around.
Husband called The Ex about a week before Halloween, asking if they could switch weekends so we could take the kids trick-or-treating in our city. The Ex said no, she already made plans so we had to take them on our weekend and leave the schedule as it was. Then on Thursday, the day before the kids were supposed to come to our place, The Ex left Husband a message:
“Hey, it’s just me...[The Ex]. Just calling to see, if...um, I could have the kids this weekend. (We just asked you this last week. You said no) But I ca...if you say yes, I can’t switch for next weekend, either, because I..we’re going out to a big birthday party. (So, we're supposed to give you our weekend and just go without seeing the kids? The sad part is that this makes sense to her. She doesn't find it bizarre to think this is okay) So, um....I was wondering if I can have ‘em the next two weekends. (No) So, I guess I need to know because they’re gonna miss trick-or-treating, um... everywhere we go, ‘cause [Hometown] already had theirs; I thought they were havin’ theirs on Friday but I guess not. Um, [New City] don’t have theirs until 5 o’clock! (Let's go over this again: Husband asked if they could switch weekends. If The Ex had said yes, the kids would have gotten to go trick-or-treating twice. The Ex said no, and is now complaining that the kids will miss trick-or-treating) And the kids are really excited and yesterday was the trick-or-treat merchant’s in [Hometown] and I wasn’t gonna make a trip way out there just for that. (So you didn't want to switch, and you didn't want to take the kids trick-or-treating when you could have; your solution to this problem is that Husband should give up one of his two weekends that month. You are a complete fool) So I told the kids I’d see if I could keep ‘em this weekend, (So now the kids think that if they miss trick-or-treating, it will be Husband's fault and not The Ex's because Husband won't let them and The Ex is trying sooooo hard) so...I don’t know when [your city’s] is, ‘cause I guess you could take ‘em. I could just give you the outfits and you can send ‘em back. (Because you really have a use for Halloween outfits. They're not going to fit next year, why would you need them back?) So, call me tonight ‘cause I’m on my way home. If you turn your phone on within the next hour, go ahead and call me otherwise I’m going home to go to bed. (I don't care) I’ve got a major headache (I still don't care), just got my flu shot (Still not caring) and...I’m tired. (Omg, would you shut up already?) So...so yeah, just let me know what’s going on, if it’s okay. Otherwise, let me know when [your city’s] is so I can send ‘em with ...if, if you’ll take ‘em. (We would take them, if our city hadn't already had trick-or-treating. You refused to switch so they missed it by us, remember?) You know, so...talk to you later. Bye.”
About six weeks later, The Ex left Husband another message:
“Hey, not to get on your bad side. You’re not answering your phone; that was the whole reason why I wanted [your wife’s] number! (Which she had been given in the past, and just recently began claiming she didn't have) Anyways! Um, Dad’s meeting me at my work here in about...we should meet probably at the same time here...‘bout 10 minutes...and we were wondering if they’re going to your place or to [your sister’s] place, so...I guess you need to let me know. Um...I guess call me back otherwise I’m just gonna, we’re takin’ ‘em to [your city]. So...’cause I don’t think Dad knows where [your sister] lives. But okay, I...the reason he’s doin’ it, ‘cause I need to work. I was out of work 2 days ‘cause of the snow and...um, they’re letting anyone who missed work overtime so I’m jumping all over- it’s not overtime for me, obviously! (She caught herself here because she thought that her income would change child support. She didn't want Husband to know she was making more money. That, and she was always complaining that she never had money and Husband needed to pay her more) But, yeah...okay, so hopefully you get this soon. Talk to you later. Bye.” (Husband had to go pick up the kids anyway because The Ex's dad had been in an accident with the kids in the car. I'm not sure the entire situation, something about him cutting someone off, them following him with their highbeams on, The Ex's dad driving slow intentionally, the other driver called the police, the other driver then cut off The Ex's dad but clipped the front end of the car, so on and so forth. At some point, The Ex's dad was reprimanded by the officer for endangering the kids)
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