Voicemails from 2012
Sometime in mid-January:
“It’s [The Ex], I just wanted to talk to the kids. Can you please have them call me? Thanks.”
An hour and forty-nine minutes later:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. I called about two hours ago, if not a little more, to talk to the kids. Um, still waiting for you to have them call me back. Bye.” (It was Family Night. We didn't have our phones and she knew this.)
Early February:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Wanted to talk to the kids, if you can have them return my call. Um...I know you say 5 o’clock is the best time to call so...I was hoping to catch ‘em. Have ‘em give me a call. Bye.” (Husband never said this. Our schedule had been the same since 2009; the kids and I didn't get home until around 5:30pm. The Ex even left a voicemail in 2010 saying that Husband had told her the kids get home at 5:30pm. But now magically, Husband "said" that 5 o'clock was the best time to call)
Three days later:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Um, I wanted to call and talk to you and the kids. Um, I don’t know if it’s too late, if they’re even with you tonight, but um...I wanted to find out when her games are tomorrow. Um, so if you can call me or text me, anytime today is fine. Later, if you’re busy right now. Bye.” (Husband had the kids call her back. The Ex talked to both kids, never once asked to speak to Husband. The kids said she had told them to call her and let her know what time Daughter's basketball games were the following day.)
The next day:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Just wanted to know what was going on. Um, you were supposed to call me after the game to let me know when she was playing again. I hope it’s not 1 o’clock ‘cause you didn’t call me and it’s getting late! Bye.” (The Ex left this message at 10:30 in the morning. That's "late" to her, I guess. And she was so concerned about missing the game that she never bothered calling Husband until now)
Twelve minutes later:
“Hello [Husband], it’s me, [The Ex's mom]. Could you give me a call please? I don’t know if [Daughter] won, or what time the game is, or whatever, so I can get going. Bye.” (Husband didn't answer The Ex, so she calls her mom, who then calls Husband and leaves him a second message. Totally makes sense)
Two weeks later:
“Hey, it’s [The Ex]. Just wanted to call and talk to the kids. Can you...have them give me a call please? The sooner would be nice than later. Thanks.” (That was not a typo. She actually said, "The sooner would be nice than later." She was born in America to English-speaking parents. English is her first and only fluent language. "The sooner would be nice than later.")
Two weeks after that:
“Hey, it’s [The Ex]. Um, just wanted to know what time was his thing ("His thing" was Son's hunter safety class) and where it’s at ‘cause, um...we’re probably just gonna stay at Mom’s so I can come get him tomorrow. Um, and I was gonna hopefully get there before it’s over so I can see him. Otherwise, um...find out where it’s at; if it is in, you know, [our city] (It wasn't, it was in School City) then I’ll just meet you at your house. Otherwise, you know, if it’s somewhere else, I can just meet you wherever. So can you please call me back and let me know? Bye.” (The Ex had her dad and brother pick up Son that day. She did not come with.)
Early April:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. I was calling to talk to the kids, and I also need to talk to you about, lunch tickets and...the dental bill. Um, I had opened up the...my e-mail and you had said that you had paid for it. So, I guess I would like to have you call me back ‘cause I wanna know exactly how much [Daughter’s] bill was. Because the bill I got with [Attorney 3], he had said that that was the full amount, not a half amount. So I’d like you to call me back so we can discuss this. AND, I would like to talk to the kids.” (I personally handed her a copy of this bill in August and wrote on it, "Your half is $XX.XX." Husband emailed her a copy of it in February; that statement showed that Husband had paid his half and Husband highlighted the amount that The Ex owed. Additionally, we never gave a copy of this bill to Attorney 3. Any copy that The Ex got from Attorney 3 would have been the same copy she had given him.) Seventeen days after this, The Ex called and asked for the dentist's number; she said she wanted to call them because she "never saw a statement." (Even though she had left a message seventeen days earlier saying she got a copy of it from Attorney 3)
Two days later, The Ex gave us a check for Daughter's dental bill (Written from Boyfriend's account). As we were driving home:
“Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. Um...wanted to make sure you got that check. I dated it for the third of May ‘cause [Boyfriend] usually gets paid the second or third. So...I just didn’t want nothing to bounce. So, if you want, call me back just to make sure, if you want. Bye.” (Just to make sure of what?)
About three weeks later:
“Hey, it’s [The Ex]. I just want to talk to the kids and I wanted to find out if I could please pick them up after school? Um, at 3 on Friday, so...um, would you please let me know? I’m up north with Mom & Dad this week (The Ex was trying to get her child support reduced because she got fired. But she was going to spend a whole week with her parents up north instead of staying home to save money on gas.), so...I’m thinking we’re all coming ‘cause we were gonna go into another town so the...kids wanted to go see the Amish people. So we kinda wanted to do it that day since we’re driving by, otherwise it’s a 45-minute drive from Mom’s. It would be nice! Um, so give me a call back. Um, if I don’t answer it’s probably because I don’t have good reception but leave a message ‘cause it always beeps (Her phone always beeps. Isn't that awesome? Man, I wish I was cool enough to have a phone that always beeps.), so...please think about it! Bye.” Husband called her back and said if she was getting the kids early on Friday, he'd get them early on Sunday. The Ex started making excuses saying she didn't know if she'd be home by then. (Is this the same as not being able to plan Christmas? She can't plan what time she'll be home?) Husband repeated that if she was doing early pick-up, then he was doing the same. The Ex finally agreed to it. (This also happened to be Memorial Day weekend, which was her holiday; the kids told us that The Ex had gone home on Sunday and their grandparents brought them home on Monday. She wanted them early just to leave them with her parents - mother of the year, everyone.)
Since The Ex had the kids most of the summer, there weren't many voicemails. A few but nothing notable. Then in September:
“Hey [Husband], this is [The Ex]. I’m calling on [Boyfriend’s] cell. (Yes, we know. We have this cool new thing called "Caller ID" that tells us who is calling) Um...pretty sure you have it; you’ve called me on it. Um, just in case, [XXX-XXX-XXXX.] Just making sure that my weekend starts this weekend, um...you can call me back or whatever. Text me. (Wait, I thought you didn't get text messages?) Call me back I guess, would be better so...I know for sure. And, just let me know. I’d like to just make sure. I...am planning on picking them up ‘cause I’m assuming you had ‘em the last two weekends that it...you know, that it starts for me this weekend. Let me know. Bye.” (She has no idea what the placement schedule is. Husband has to tell her when she gets the kids) Husband called her back and said this was her weekend but we were keeping them the weekend after. The Ex asked why she wasn't getting two weekends; Husband told her that the past weekend was normally hers but it was Labor Day weekend, which was our holiday; holiday schedule takes precedence over regular schedule so we kept them on her weekend. The Ex replied, "Oh, so you're gonna play like that, huh?!" Husband said he wasn't "playing" like anything; the schedule was the schedule and that's what he was following. (That weekend was when Daughter got head lice, The Ex tried hiding it and told Daughter to lie to us about it.)
About two weeks later, The Ex left a message for Son:
“Hey babe, it’s me, Mom. Just wanted to call and say hi. I’m gonna call your dad’s phone. Maybe you’re...don’t have your phone by you. I wanted to talk to [Daughter] too; you didn’t have her call me yesterday, silly butt! (The Ex tells Son to have Daughter call her from Son's phone, so that The Ex doesn't have to talk to Husband) I love you. I wanna talk to you, alright? So if you get this, give me a call. I’m gonna try your dad first, okay? Bye.”
Two minutes later:
“Hey, it’s [The Ex]. I was just calling ‘cause usually you’re home after...around 5, you said. I called [Son] yesterday and I talked to him for a little bit, but I told him to have [Daughter] call me. (Because that's Son's job) And he said that he would tell you to have her call me because she didn’t...HE didn’t want her talking on her...HIS phone. (Read through that a couple times. I can't figure out why this was so hard for her to get out correctly) So, um...just wanted to talk to them, and...I, um...I wanted to know about, uh...uh, pictures! I think they’re on the 24th. (Husband emailed The Ex on the 10th, asked her to let him know which pictures she wanted since the school only sends one form per child. She left this message on the 18th.) But I need to call the school because something’s not working with the Internet. (Huh?) I can’t...it’s not letting me open up her, her web page. (The school secretary was emailing the newsletters to The Ex at her request. The Ex cannot tell the difference between an email attachment and a web page. Yes, it must be the Internet that is broken...) So, um...can you please find out if you can get an extra two forms, one for [Son] and [Daughter]? (No, we cannot. You were given the information two weeks before the pictures were being taken. Now six days before school pictures, you want extra forms, which we already told you they will not give us.) And, I believe it was the 24th, if I seen that correctly, so... Call me back so I can talk to the kids. Bye.”
Two days later:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Um, I had a kind of a little favor I wanted to ask you, if you would um, call me back as soon as you get this please. Um, I was kinda thinking and wondering if I could get the kids out of school tomorrow at 3? Um, Mom and Dad...they’re...we wanna go up north with Mom and Dad and I’d like to get up there, you know, about...5:30ish. So, um...could you just give me a call back and let me know please? Um, if I can do that? And then, I was thinking, um...since I’m picking ‘em up early....um, well, we weren’t planning on coming home. So I was seeing if maybe I left their house at 4, 4:30 from up north, I would drop them off. (So she wants to pick them up two hours early and drop them off two hours late. Could you imagine what she would do/say if Husband proposed this to her?) So, um...something (mumbling) think about, excuse me. And let me know. Thanks. Bye.” (This was the weekend we started withholding placement because of the repeated lice issue and Boyfriend's drinking. Husband called The Ex back and told her he wasn't going to let her take the kids the next night; she got angry and hung up on him. We had a court hearing in a week and thought it would get addressed then; Attorney 3 cancelled the morning of the hearing, so we continued to withhold)
The next day around noon:
“Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex's mom]. Wanna know what’s going on. Not gonna let the kids come up and see us, or what? (Yes, that's what he said to The Ex last night. Tell me again, why are you calling?) I don’t understand what’s going on. The lice could’ve came from either one of your places because she was full of ‘em when she went to [The Ex’s]. (This is complete and utter bullsh*t. Nobody at our house had lice, nobody at the school had lice, none of the kids friends or even our neighbors had lice. Daughter admitted that The Ex tried hiding it and told her to lie to us. If the lice came from our house, why would The Ex tell Daughter to lie?) I don’t see why you can’t let ‘em come up and see us. (Because you're all insane) Give me a call, you got my number. (You have no place in this. Stop calling Husband)”
An hour later, the school secretary called me and said that The Ex had just called her; The Ex said she needed Son and Daughter's attendance records for the year "as soon as possible" (My guess is that The Ex thought she could "prove" the lice came from our house if the kids missed school that year - except that the kids didn't miss school. I also got a letter from the secretary stating that no one else in the school reported head lice, including Baby Girl.) The Ex also asked the secretary for extra forms for Picture Day (She called the school on Friday and said she wanted forms that were due Monday. Why should this be an inconvenience to anyone?) The secretary said she would mail them out that day but didn't know if The Ex would get them in time for Monday. The secretary asked how The Ex would be paying for the pictures; The Ex said she wouldn't have the money by Monday but she could have the money by retake day (Now she wants the school to float her on pictures?) The secretary told her she wasn't sure if that would work, since the school didn't handle the payments; that was handled by the company who took the pictures.
The rest of the evening, The Ex's mom left a total of five voicemails for Son and Husband; The Ex's nephew texted Son twice; The Ex's niece texted me once; The Ex's sister posted something on Facebook about how she was disgusted by what we were doing. In all of this, The Ex did nothing. (Because she misses them sooooo much)
There were voicemails after this, mostly on the days that The Ex was supposed to pick up the kids. Not just on Husband's phone either; The Ex and any one of her extended family would all call Son's phone and leave him voicemails asking where he was and why he wasn't home. (Glad that court order says the parents are supposed to communicate directly and not through the kids. But of course, that doesn't apply to The Ex; the order only applies when The Ex wants it to.)
There are a total of fifty-five voicemails between when we started withholding placement and the end of the New Year. I'm not going to post all of them because they are redundant - The Ex and/or her family "want to know what's going on, " asking Son what time we'll be home, Husband is being sick/ridiculous/he's not a man, etc. Nothing ever new to say. A few times, The Ex even brought Boyfriend with her to pick up the kids; she had no intention of keeping the kids away from him even though we all knew he was still drinking.
Husband emailed The Ex during all of this, saying she could visit with the kids if she wanted to but to please let him know when she was coming; she ignored this, only came to our house on "her" weekends and never any other time, never emailed him back to arrange to see the kids.
Husband emailed Daughter's basketball schedule to The Ex showing the dates and times of Daughter's games, all of which were on Friday nights at exchange time; The Ex never came to a game, but would call Husband and leave him a message saying she was at our house to pick up the kids. The kids both talked to The Ex on the phone, telling her the time and location of the games; The Ex still never showed up.
But of course: it was all my Husband's fault.
“It’s [The Ex], I just wanted to talk to the kids. Can you please have them call me? Thanks.”
An hour and forty-nine minutes later:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. I called about two hours ago, if not a little more, to talk to the kids. Um, still waiting for you to have them call me back. Bye.” (It was Family Night. We didn't have our phones and she knew this.)
Early February:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Wanted to talk to the kids, if you can have them return my call. Um...I know you say 5 o’clock is the best time to call so...I was hoping to catch ‘em. Have ‘em give me a call. Bye.” (Husband never said this. Our schedule had been the same since 2009; the kids and I didn't get home until around 5:30pm. The Ex even left a voicemail in 2010 saying that Husband had told her the kids get home at 5:30pm. But now magically, Husband "said" that 5 o'clock was the best time to call)
Three days later:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Um, I wanted to call and talk to you and the kids. Um, I don’t know if it’s too late, if they’re even with you tonight, but um...I wanted to find out when her games are tomorrow. Um, so if you can call me or text me, anytime today is fine. Later, if you’re busy right now. Bye.” (Husband had the kids call her back. The Ex talked to both kids, never once asked to speak to Husband. The kids said she had told them to call her and let her know what time Daughter's basketball games were the following day.)
The next day:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Just wanted to know what was going on. Um, you were supposed to call me after the game to let me know when she was playing again. I hope it’s not 1 o’clock ‘cause you didn’t call me and it’s getting late! Bye.” (The Ex left this message at 10:30 in the morning. That's "late" to her, I guess. And she was so concerned about missing the game that she never bothered calling Husband until now)
Twelve minutes later:
“Hello [Husband], it’s me, [The Ex's mom]. Could you give me a call please? I don’t know if [Daughter] won, or what time the game is, or whatever, so I can get going. Bye.” (Husband didn't answer The Ex, so she calls her mom, who then calls Husband and leaves him a second message. Totally makes sense)
Two weeks later:
“Hey, it’s [The Ex]. Just wanted to call and talk to the kids. Can you...have them give me a call please? The sooner would be nice than later. Thanks.” (That was not a typo. She actually said, "The sooner would be nice than later." She was born in America to English-speaking parents. English is her first and only fluent language. "The sooner would be nice than later.")
Two weeks after that:
“Hey, it’s [The Ex]. Um, just wanted to know what time was his thing ("His thing" was Son's hunter safety class) and where it’s at ‘cause, um...we’re probably just gonna stay at Mom’s so I can come get him tomorrow. Um, and I was gonna hopefully get there before it’s over so I can see him. Otherwise, um...find out where it’s at; if it is in, you know, [our city] (It wasn't, it was in School City) then I’ll just meet you at your house. Otherwise, you know, if it’s somewhere else, I can just meet you wherever. So can you please call me back and let me know? Bye.” (The Ex had her dad and brother pick up Son that day. She did not come with.)
Early April:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. I was calling to talk to the kids, and I also need to talk to you about, lunch tickets and...the dental bill. Um, I had opened up the...my e-mail and you had said that you had paid for it. So, I guess I would like to have you call me back ‘cause I wanna know exactly how much [Daughter’s] bill was. Because the bill I got with [Attorney 3], he had said that that was the full amount, not a half amount. So I’d like you to call me back so we can discuss this. AND, I would like to talk to the kids.” (I personally handed her a copy of this bill in August and wrote on it, "Your half is $XX.XX." Husband emailed her a copy of it in February; that statement showed that Husband had paid his half and Husband highlighted the amount that The Ex owed. Additionally, we never gave a copy of this bill to Attorney 3. Any copy that The Ex got from Attorney 3 would have been the same copy she had given him.) Seventeen days after this, The Ex called and asked for the dentist's number; she said she wanted to call them because she "never saw a statement." (Even though she had left a message seventeen days earlier saying she got a copy of it from Attorney 3)
Two days later, The Ex gave us a check for Daughter's dental bill (Written from Boyfriend's account). As we were driving home:
“Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. Um...wanted to make sure you got that check. I dated it for the third of May ‘cause [Boyfriend] usually gets paid the second or third. So...I just didn’t want nothing to bounce. So, if you want, call me back just to make sure, if you want. Bye.” (Just to make sure of what?)
About three weeks later:
“Hey, it’s [The Ex]. I just want to talk to the kids and I wanted to find out if I could please pick them up after school? Um, at 3 on Friday, so...um, would you please let me know? I’m up north with Mom & Dad this week (The Ex was trying to get her child support reduced because she got fired. But she was going to spend a whole week with her parents up north instead of staying home to save money on gas.), so...I’m thinking we’re all coming ‘cause we were gonna go into another town so the...kids wanted to go see the Amish people. So we kinda wanted to do it that day since we’re driving by, otherwise it’s a 45-minute drive from Mom’s. It would be nice! Um, so give me a call back. Um, if I don’t answer it’s probably because I don’t have good reception but leave a message ‘cause it always beeps (Her phone always beeps. Isn't that awesome? Man, I wish I was cool enough to have a phone that always beeps.), so...please think about it! Bye.” Husband called her back and said if she was getting the kids early on Friday, he'd get them early on Sunday. The Ex started making excuses saying she didn't know if she'd be home by then. (Is this the same as not being able to plan Christmas? She can't plan what time she'll be home?) Husband repeated that if she was doing early pick-up, then he was doing the same. The Ex finally agreed to it. (This also happened to be Memorial Day weekend, which was her holiday; the kids told us that The Ex had gone home on Sunday and their grandparents brought them home on Monday. She wanted them early just to leave them with her parents - mother of the year, everyone.)
Since The Ex had the kids most of the summer, there weren't many voicemails. A few but nothing notable. Then in September:
“Hey [Husband], this is [The Ex]. I’m calling on [Boyfriend’s] cell. (Yes, we know. We have this cool new thing called "Caller ID" that tells us who is calling) Um...pretty sure you have it; you’ve called me on it. Um, just in case, [XXX-XXX-XXXX.] Just making sure that my weekend starts this weekend, um...you can call me back or whatever. Text me. (Wait, I thought you didn't get text messages?) Call me back I guess, would be better so...I know for sure. And, just let me know. I’d like to just make sure. I...am planning on picking them up ‘cause I’m assuming you had ‘em the last two weekends that it...you know, that it starts for me this weekend. Let me know. Bye.” (She has no idea what the placement schedule is. Husband has to tell her when she gets the kids) Husband called her back and said this was her weekend but we were keeping them the weekend after. The Ex asked why she wasn't getting two weekends; Husband told her that the past weekend was normally hers but it was Labor Day weekend, which was our holiday; holiday schedule takes precedence over regular schedule so we kept them on her weekend. The Ex replied, "Oh, so you're gonna play like that, huh?!" Husband said he wasn't "playing" like anything; the schedule was the schedule and that's what he was following. (That weekend was when Daughter got head lice, The Ex tried hiding it and told Daughter to lie to us about it.)
About two weeks later, The Ex left a message for Son:
“Hey babe, it’s me, Mom. Just wanted to call and say hi. I’m gonna call your dad’s phone. Maybe you’re...don’t have your phone by you. I wanted to talk to [Daughter] too; you didn’t have her call me yesterday, silly butt! (The Ex tells Son to have Daughter call her from Son's phone, so that The Ex doesn't have to talk to Husband) I love you. I wanna talk to you, alright? So if you get this, give me a call. I’m gonna try your dad first, okay? Bye.”
Two minutes later:
“Hey, it’s [The Ex]. I was just calling ‘cause usually you’re home after...around 5, you said. I called [Son] yesterday and I talked to him for a little bit, but I told him to have [Daughter] call me. (Because that's Son's job) And he said that he would tell you to have her call me because she didn’t...HE didn’t want her talking on her...HIS phone. (Read through that a couple times. I can't figure out why this was so hard for her to get out correctly) So, um...just wanted to talk to them, and...I, um...I wanted to know about, uh...uh, pictures! I think they’re on the 24th. (Husband emailed The Ex on the 10th, asked her to let him know which pictures she wanted since the school only sends one form per child. She left this message on the 18th.) But I need to call the school because something’s not working with the Internet. (Huh?) I can’t...it’s not letting me open up her, her web page. (The school secretary was emailing the newsletters to The Ex at her request. The Ex cannot tell the difference between an email attachment and a web page. Yes, it must be the Internet that is broken...) So, um...can you please find out if you can get an extra two forms, one for [Son] and [Daughter]? (No, we cannot. You were given the information two weeks before the pictures were being taken. Now six days before school pictures, you want extra forms, which we already told you they will not give us.) And, I believe it was the 24th, if I seen that correctly, so... Call me back so I can talk to the kids. Bye.”
Two days later:
“Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Um, I had a kind of a little favor I wanted to ask you, if you would um, call me back as soon as you get this please. Um, I was kinda thinking and wondering if I could get the kids out of school tomorrow at 3? Um, Mom and Dad...they’re...we wanna go up north with Mom and Dad and I’d like to get up there, you know, about...5:30ish. So, um...could you just give me a call back and let me know please? Um, if I can do that? And then, I was thinking, um...since I’m picking ‘em up early....um, well, we weren’t planning on coming home. So I was seeing if maybe I left their house at 4, 4:30 from up north, I would drop them off. (So she wants to pick them up two hours early and drop them off two hours late. Could you imagine what she would do/say if Husband proposed this to her?) So, um...something (mumbling) think about, excuse me. And let me know. Thanks. Bye.” (This was the weekend we started withholding placement because of the repeated lice issue and Boyfriend's drinking. Husband called The Ex back and told her he wasn't going to let her take the kids the next night; she got angry and hung up on him. We had a court hearing in a week and thought it would get addressed then; Attorney 3 cancelled the morning of the hearing, so we continued to withhold)
The next day around noon:
“Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex's mom]. Wanna know what’s going on. Not gonna let the kids come up and see us, or what? (Yes, that's what he said to The Ex last night. Tell me again, why are you calling?) I don’t understand what’s going on. The lice could’ve came from either one of your places because she was full of ‘em when she went to [The Ex’s]. (This is complete and utter bullsh*t. Nobody at our house had lice, nobody at the school had lice, none of the kids friends or even our neighbors had lice. Daughter admitted that The Ex tried hiding it and told her to lie to us. If the lice came from our house, why would The Ex tell Daughter to lie?) I don’t see why you can’t let ‘em come up and see us. (Because you're all insane) Give me a call, you got my number. (You have no place in this. Stop calling Husband)”
An hour later, the school secretary called me and said that The Ex had just called her; The Ex said she needed Son and Daughter's attendance records for the year "as soon as possible" (My guess is that The Ex thought she could "prove" the lice came from our house if the kids missed school that year - except that the kids didn't miss school. I also got a letter from the secretary stating that no one else in the school reported head lice, including Baby Girl.) The Ex also asked the secretary for extra forms for Picture Day (She called the school on Friday and said she wanted forms that were due Monday. Why should this be an inconvenience to anyone?) The secretary said she would mail them out that day but didn't know if The Ex would get them in time for Monday. The secretary asked how The Ex would be paying for the pictures; The Ex said she wouldn't have the money by Monday but she could have the money by retake day (Now she wants the school to float her on pictures?) The secretary told her she wasn't sure if that would work, since the school didn't handle the payments; that was handled by the company who took the pictures.
The rest of the evening, The Ex's mom left a total of five voicemails for Son and Husband; The Ex's nephew texted Son twice; The Ex's niece texted me once; The Ex's sister posted something on Facebook about how she was disgusted by what we were doing. In all of this, The Ex did nothing. (Because she misses them sooooo much)
There were voicemails after this, mostly on the days that The Ex was supposed to pick up the kids. Not just on Husband's phone either; The Ex and any one of her extended family would all call Son's phone and leave him voicemails asking where he was and why he wasn't home. (Glad that court order says the parents are supposed to communicate directly and not through the kids. But of course, that doesn't apply to The Ex; the order only applies when The Ex wants it to.)
There are a total of fifty-five voicemails between when we started withholding placement and the end of the New Year. I'm not going to post all of them because they are redundant - The Ex and/or her family "want to know what's going on, " asking Son what time we'll be home, Husband is being sick/ridiculous/he's not a man, etc. Nothing ever new to say. A few times, The Ex even brought Boyfriend with her to pick up the kids; she had no intention of keeping the kids away from him even though we all knew he was still drinking.
Husband emailed The Ex during all of this, saying she could visit with the kids if she wanted to but to please let him know when she was coming; she ignored this, only came to our house on "her" weekends and never any other time, never emailed him back to arrange to see the kids.
Husband emailed Daughter's basketball schedule to The Ex showing the dates and times of Daughter's games, all of which were on Friday nights at exchange time; The Ex never came to a game, but would call Husband and leave him a message saying she was at our house to pick up the kids. The kids both talked to The Ex on the phone, telling her the time and location of the games; The Ex still never showed up.
But of course: it was all my Husband's fault.
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