Voicemails from 2013
2013 started with us still withholding placement, so most of the voicemails were centered around how The Ex had come to pick up the kids and "didn't know why" Husband wasn't letting her have them. There was some fun about the Christmas party that The Ex's family was having. The Ex had talked to Husband and told him that the party was at her sister's house. On Tuesday, Husband emailed The Ex asking for confirmation about everything. No answer. On Wednesday, The Ex's sister sent Husband a text asking if the kids were coming to the party; Husband replied that he had emailed The Ex about it the day before. Husband then sent The Ex a text that said he had emailed her on Tuesday and to please read his email and reply.
Thursday night, The Ex leaves a voicemail at 6:59pm:
"Hello, it’s [The Ex]! Um, I did get your text message. (He sent the text 25 hours ago asking her to check her email and reply to it; she still had not emailed him) Um, [The Ex's cousin] doesn’t get home til late tonight, so she probably won’t even be up til about 10 o’clock, she said, tomorrow. She’s working. (Why do I care about any of this? Oh, yes - The Ex was pretending that she didn't have Internet access at home so she "had" to use someone else's computer at their house to read Husband's emails) Um, but I guess I’d like to find out what’s going on. (Then read your email and reply to it.) Do you think you can give me a call back sometime tonight? (Nope.) Um, and let me know what’s going on please? Talk to you later. Bye."
That same night at 8:10pm:
"Hey! I’m still waiting to hear from you. (Ditto.) What’s going on? Tomorrow’s Friday already! (Someone needs to introduce The Ex to Rebecca Black. There will be a lot less confusion about days of the week) Um, I’ll be there around 5 tomorrow. I’d like to see the kids and discuss this, if you don’t call me. (Husband emailed you on Tuesday. You do not get to call him on Thursday night and demand that he "discuss" things with you on Friday) So I’ll be at your house at 5. Me and [The Ex's niece]. (Yes, she brought her niece to an attempted custody exchange) So, um...I’d like to discuss this with you and see the kids and...and see how everything’s going with them. (Husband emailed you Tuesday. Husband sent you a text on Wednesday. You ignored him until now, so stop saying you want to discuss anything because you very clearly do not want to.) Um, so I’ll be there around 5pm tomorrow. Um, could you please call me back? (She really is not getting that Husband will not be communicating with her by phone.) Thanks."
The next morning, The Ex sent Husband the email complaining about how she didn't have Internet and had to "drive across town just to look at this." The Ex told Husband that he wasn't communicating with her and he wasn't listening to her when she told him about the Christmas party. The Ex said either Husband or I could come alone with the kids but not both of us. That night at 4:58pm:
"Hi [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. I am sitting in your driveway, waiting for you guys. I did tell you the other day that I was gonna be here, [The Ex's niece] and I, so I can see the kids. Um, you’re not here! Um, what’s going on? I’m kind of thinking you’re keeping the kids away? (Sherlock Holmes, everyone.) I don’t know. Anyways, I did email you. Um, the party’s at MY house! I don’t know where you even understood that it was at [The Ex’s sister] when her name didn’t even come up when I was talking to you the first time about it on Monday. (He understood that it was at your sister's house when you said, "It's at my sister's house." Dumbass.) Um, no idea. So...I’m not sure. Anyways, I...um, [The Ex's niece] is with me. She said she’d like to see her cousins. (The Ex never got together with her sister before this, The Ex still doesn't get together with her sister. The Ex tells Son and Daughter that it's her sister's fault) She said she tried [Son] three times and he didn’t answer. It went, it rang a couple times and went to voicemail like they’re ignoring her calls. So, do you think you can give me a call me back like, now?! Since I KNOW you’re out of work for the last half hour, if not more now? (I love how she says this like we were keeping it a secret but she found out because she is just so incredibly smart and clever; like Husband hasn't gotten out of work at the exact same time for the last 6 years) And let me know what’s going on?"
A few weeks later, The Ex left Son a voicemail. He didn't call her back, so just shy of an hour later she left this for Husband:
"Hello, it’s [The Ex]! Um, I’m calling. Um, for a couple reasons. I’m here in [our city], I was hoping to see the kids. You know, it’s my weekend. And two, um...you know I’ve been trying to call [Son] (How would you know if Husband knows this?) and I haven’t been able to get a hold of him. He told me he would call me yesterday and he didn’t. (Right, because he has nothing to talk about with you. He's a kid who misses you, but not quite nearly as much as you'd like to pretend he does) I’m trying to call him today and he’s not answering. Um, just want to know if you have his phone or what’s going on with that. (We didn't have Son's phone. And even if we did, we pay for the phone. If we take it away, that is our business and not yours. I don't have to explain anything to you.) I haven’t talked to [Daughter] in awhile, so I’d like to speak with the kids. Do you think you can have [Daughter] call me, please? And I’d like to talk to [Son] if you can have him call me also? It would be very much appreciated."
A few weeks after that:
"Hi [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Um, I think you’re at work right now, I’m pretty sure. (This message was left on a Thursday morning at 10:45am. Of course he's at work. He has a job, unlike you.) But I wanted to call you before I forgot. Um, I’m trying to communicate with you about the kids and all that. (This is her big thing lately: SHE is trying to "communicate" and Husband is NOT communicating, because he is a jerk) I know [Daughter] has a game Friday. (Daughter has had games on Friday for the last two and a half months.) Um, I’d like to speak to you about that if you can give me a call back. (There is nothing to speak about. Husband sent you the schedule in November; it had the date and time listed on the schedule.) Um, I do have my other phone. It’s um, XXX-XXX-XXXX. (We found out later that she had this phone number for 3+ months; this was the first time she gave it to Husband) Um, if that one’s not working ever then call on [Boyfriend’s]. But, um, that’s my phone number now and...I’d like you to call me. I’d like to speak with you about the kids, (I don't understand why she has such a hang-up about this. She NEEDS to talk to Husband or she's not happy.) um...about Friday and her game, so... Call me back either at XXX-XXX-XXXX (The new number which she already gave to him, which can also be accessed by going into the envelope information from Husband's voicemail) or at XXX-XXX-XXXX. (Boyfriend's number, which we've had for the last 5 years. Pretty sure she was recording herself leaving this message, which is why she kept saying things like "communicate" and left both phone numbers) Um, preferably before 4:30 would be nice. I know you get done with work at 4, so...thank you." ("I know you get done with work at 4, so thank you." Just read that a few times and try not to giggle.)
Shortly after that voicemail, we restarted placement. A few weeks later when Husband was at work:
"Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. I was only calling ‘cause I had a question about how to get there a different way. I’ll just call Dad. Bye." (Then why didn't you just call your dad in the first place?)
About a week and a half later, we were trying to sort everything out for variable expenses and placement and doing a stipulation. The Ex left this voicemail:
"Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Um, I had a couple questions and I want you to call me back like, now if you can. (I have no idea why she does this. She always calls and wants him to call her back immediately. Apparently we have nothing else going on other than to wait around for her to call) Otherwise as soon as possible. (Oh, why thank you for your graciousness) I had a couple questions about [Son and Daughter’s] um, eye, eye wear and eye exams. I just wanted to make sure I’m seeing the receipt right. (Considering I don't know how you're "seeing the receipt," I can't possibly tell you if it's right or not) And there’s a question I had on one and then another one on another, on [Son’s]. So, I just want to make sure I’m getting this all right ‘cause I don’t want any mess-ups later. I need to know how much I owe you and everything else. (Because all of the emails that Husband sent you which detailed what the new expense was and included the updated balance wasn't clear enough.) So, could you please call me back. Um, I have [Boyfriend’s] phone today ‘cause I’m using it for everything, (So you both have phones, but you're using Boyfriend's phone because.........?) so...um, XXX-XXX-XXXX. (Again, thank you for leaving me the phone number which I have had for the past 5 years already. I might have forgotten it) Thanks."
About a week later, Husband had sent The Ex an email about switching weekends because Baby Girl had a ballet recital and we wanted Son and Daughter to be there for her. The Ex leaves a voicemail:
"Hi [Husband]. It’s [The Ex]. I was calling to talk to the kids, if you can have them call me. Um, also I did see your email...um, about your daughter but I don’t know if we’re gonna be able to do anything on- switch anything that day. Um, just give me a call back. Bye." (Why is sending an email so incredibly difficult for this woman? She acknowledged that she read the email, but she will not reply to it. Instead she backs out of her email, calls Husband, leaves him a message and tells him to call her back. That is SO much easier than taking 30 seconds to reply, "We have things going on, can't switch. Sorry.")
A few weeks after this:
"It’s [The Ex]. I was just calling to talk to the kids. I haven’t talked to ‘em for a couple days and I have some things I needed to ask them. Um, stuff going on at the schools over here and I need to get ‘em signed up if they wanted to do some stuff this weekend. Have them call me. I need to know by tomorrow. Bye." (She left this on a Wednesday night. Husband had to send her a text to remind her that it was not her weekend.)
Over the next month, The Ex stopped calling and emailing because she was arguing about the kids playing sports by us. In late May she left a message for Husband while he was on a class trip with Son:
"Hey, I've been trying to call you so I can talk to [Son]. Wanted to know what's going on. Um, I don't know if it's okay if I call [my name's] phone to talk to [Daughter], (Since when is it not okay to call my phone? We have never once told her not to call my phone; she's called my phone in the past. Now she doesn't know if it's "okay"? I had literally sent her a text less than 2 weeks before wishing her a happy mother's day; now it's not okay for her to call my phone??) so do you think it'd be....um, would you call her and have [Daughter] call me? (This is how much The Ex hates me. She won't even call my phone to talk to her own kids. Instead, she wants Husband to call me, tell me that The Ex wants to talk to Daughter and then have Daughter call The Ex from my phone. That is easier than calling me herself, or even sending me a text asking my to have Daughter call her. No no, let's involve 40 people just so that The Ex doesn't have to talk to me.) Um, you know I've been calling before in the past weeks and you tell me they're not home yet, you'd have them call me. (This did not happen) And you still haven't returned none of those calls, the kids haven't. So, I'd appreciate it if you could have them call me today."
Two days later, The Ex's parents picked the kids up. Son left Husband a voicemail, asking if they could go to a waterpark with their grandparents the next Saturday (It was going to be on our weekend. You have to remember that we only got one weekend a month at that time; now The Ex's parents are telling the kids that they'll take them to a waterpark on our one weekend with them.) Husband did not respond to this, because the children are not supposed to be making plans. If The Ex's parents want to take the kids somewhere, then let them call and ask like the adults that they are supposed to be. One full week later, The Ex's dad leaves Husband a voicemail while he's at work:
"Hey [Husband], it's me [The Ex's dad]. Hey, uh...we got some extra tickets to the [waterpark]. I wanted to see if you'd let the kids come. Give me a call so we can talk about it, if they can go. I guess they wanna go. Okay, bye.” (Husband didn't call back. Son got picked to play in an all-star baseball tournament that weekend, so we went to that instead.)
A couple weeks after this, Husband had emailed The Ex and asked what she wanted to do about getting the kids back and forth to baseball; Husband said if the kids stayed with him an extra day, The Ex could have a make up day for it. The Ex ignored his email, then finally called Husband on the day he was supposed to bring the kids back to her and left this:
"Hey, it's me [The Ex]. I've been trying to call you. Um...I do want a make-up day then, for today. Because I'm just so busy, and I don't know. (You work 25 hours a week, if you're lucky. How are you "so busy"??) I'm hoping to be there for [Daughter's] game on...we'll be late. (The game is on "We'll be late-day"? Please, finish your thought before speaking.) Um, so I guess I- I'll just call you later tonight. Or tomorrow morning. Bye." (And naturally, she never called Husband after this)
Not too many messages were left over the next two weeks.. Then came the baseball game of Daughter's that got cancelled but The Ex didn't get my text message and drove up to School City? Here we go:
"[Husband], I'm really upset with you! Of all people, your WIFE! Because number one, I called her a little after eleven to find out if there was a game. (A little after eleven, there was a game. I gave you the information that I had at that time.) You don't know how upset I am (Nor do I care) that I wasted my time; I left work early to bring our daughter to this game that was cancelled! (Your choice. You insisted she come back to your house on Sunday night; you could have left her here and not left work early at all. So I don't care if you left work early, I don't care if you took the whole day off, I don't care if you got fired. This was your decision) I've asked you verbally how many different times, that I wanted coaches names and phone numbers. (She had been at games for both kids. Never bothered talking to the coaches. Not a single time.) If you CANNOT give them to me, I will not be transporting these kids (That's interesting. I don't recall seeing anywhere in the court agreement that you had to facilitate extracurriculars only if you had coaches' names and phone numbers.) because this was a waste of time and gas money that I don't have! (Then get a real job. You can usually afford things more easily if you get a job.) I had to- like I said, I had to leave work early for this! (And like I said, I don't care what you had to do. You clean hotel rooms; you are not that high-demand) And [my name] just told [Daughter] that she texted me? (Correct, I did say that.) Well, if she texted me, why didn't I find it in my phone? (How the hell should I know?) I want to see phone records if she texted me. (I want to see you not be a bitch. Any luck?) And number two, why would she show up at the park, where I was sitting for twenty-two minutes, if she texted me? (Because you told me you would call me at 2pm and didn't. I texted you and told you the game was cancelled, you didn't reply and I forgot about it until then) So, that's all kind of bull crap if you ask me! (Well, I didn't ask you because I really don't care what you think about anything at all.) I am upset, and you should be (gasps)...lucky, ("You should be lucky." Okay...) because I am REALLY upset. (And I REALLY don't care) I am VERY upset and I think this needs to be- you want the kids to play over here, which we did NOT agree to, (Except for the email where you said you'd bring the kids to their games if they played here) and you can't be open and verbal and let me know things, (We were open; we did "let her know things." We were NOT verbal because she lies about anything we do verbally. I don't think that's what she meant anyway, it's just what left her mouth while she was trying not to curse at him on his voicemail) then...then they SHOULDN'T play over here. So...why don't you sit on THAT for awhile?" (I still don't know what that means. I think she was under the impression that she really told Husband off so he could "sit on that for awhile"...?)
A week later was a prime example of why Husband is not "verbal" with her - that was the mess over her leaving Son with us on Monday, not telling us what she was planning, demanding on Wednesday night that we bring Son home on Wednesday night, filing for contempt of court and lying that she had tried to pick up the kids and we wouldn't answer the door.
The Ex stayed off Husband's voicemail for the next few weeks because we had court coming up. Less than two weeks after court:
"Hi [Husband], it's [The Ex]. Um, it's 7:45. Do you think you can give me a call back sometime tonight still? [Daughter] mentioned a birthday party and I didn't get your email. I'd like to talk to you about it. Alright. Bye." (If you didn't get Husband's email, then how do you know he emailed you? Idiot.)
About a month later, the kids said they wanted to go to a dance in School City but it was on The Ex's weekend. Husband emailed The Ex eight days before the dance, asking if the kids could go. Six days before the dance, The Ex called the kids and told them she got Husband's email but they couldn't go because she was having their brother's party that day; both kids complained and The Ex said she would call Husband that night or the night before about working something out so they could go to the dance. The Ex never called Husband. Husband emailed The Ex again, four days before the dance. The Ex does not answer. Son calls The Ex two days before the dance and says he wants to go to the dance; The Ex finally calls Husband and leaves this:
"Hi [Husband], this is [The Ex]. Um, I've been trying to call you today, just now. Twice now. (Call me forty times if you want; if I can't answer, it makes no difference how many times you call. I'm busy.) And I guess I'd like to talk to you about the email that you sent, so I'm trying to talk to you about it. (The email that he sent six days ago. She wants to talk about the email that he sent six days ago, which she read at least four days ago. NOW she wants to talk about it.) The kids wanna go to a soccer dance. You know, we just have a lot of stuff going on. I'm kind of confused and, we have stuff going on Friday. (They went to a fish fry. That was the "stuff" they had going on.) Not too much Saturday, but then we have the party on Sunday, so...(You see that? Four days before she left this message, she told the kids that their brother's party was the day of the soccer dance. Now, the party is the day AFTER the soccer dance so there's not a good way to work around it. She intentionally did this just to be a bitch.) I'm trying to, don't know what to do. I do have a compromise with you, I'd like to talk to you about it. (Her compromise was to switch weekends but she would still get the kids on Sunday for the party. So her "compromise" was to just give her everything she wanted.) I guess if you don't return my call today so we can talk about it, I'll just be there at 5 o'clock to get the kids. Alright? Call me back.” (She left this message 22 hours before she was supposed to pick up the kids. If Husband does not call her back immediately, then it is his fault because he "didn't communicate with her." She actually called Son and told him that it was going to be Husband's fault and to not get mad at her for it.)
About 2 weeks later:
"Hi [Husband], it's [The Ex]. Um, Dad's picking up the kids on Friday and he wanted to know if he can get 'em just a little bit earlier? Uh, can you call me back? It'll...you know, a little bit earlier meaning half hour earlier, if not an hour, but...um...can you call back? Or call Dad? One of us, doesn't matter who? And let- let me know please? Bye." (Son hurt himself the day after this and needed stitches; The Ex's parents came to the hospital. We told The Ex's dad in person that day that early pickup on Friday wasn't an option because of the time Husband got out of work; The Ex's dad said okay and we said we'd see them at 5pm. That Friday, The Ex's parents were at our house almost an hour and a half early and were pissed off at Husband because they had to wait.)
Exactly two weeks later on the Monday before Thanksgiving:
"[Husband], it's me [The Ex's mom]. I just wanted to know, [The Ex]- uh, sister-in-law called me. She didn't feel like calling you, so I'm calling you. (Why are either of you calling Husband?) They wanna know if they- she, [The Ex] is gonna be able to pick the kids up on Tuesday or not until Wednesday. Uh, please give me a call. You know my number. If not, it's uh, XXX-XXX-XXXX. Please give me a call back. Thank you." (Husband didn't respond to this. The court order says he and The Ex are to communicate directly, not through a third party.)
Because Husband didn't call her back, The Ex's mom called him again:
"All the time I've ever known you [Husband], you've never been like this. (Like what, exactly?) All I'm asking you, is she supposed to pick them up tomorrow or not? And what time I can pick them up on Wednesday. (Wait, what? "Is The Ex getting them Tuesday? And what time can I pick them up on Wednesday?" I'm beginning to think that stupidity is hereditary.) I'm sorry it's so hard, I'm just asking simple little question. What's wrong with you? (Yeah, Husband. This is clearly all your fault) She has no phone, she hasn't had a phone in three days. (That's what happens when you don't pay your bill, they disconnect your service.) She's trying to get a new one. So she can't talk to you."
And that little gem wrapped up voicemails for 2013.
Thursday night, The Ex leaves a voicemail at 6:59pm:
"Hello, it’s [The Ex]! Um, I did get your text message. (He sent the text 25 hours ago asking her to check her email and reply to it; she still had not emailed him) Um, [The Ex's cousin] doesn’t get home til late tonight, so she probably won’t even be up til about 10 o’clock, she said, tomorrow. She’s working. (Why do I care about any of this? Oh, yes - The Ex was pretending that she didn't have Internet access at home so she "had" to use someone else's computer at their house to read Husband's emails) Um, but I guess I’d like to find out what’s going on. (Then read your email and reply to it.) Do you think you can give me a call back sometime tonight? (Nope.) Um, and let me know what’s going on please? Talk to you later. Bye."
That same night at 8:10pm:
"Hey! I’m still waiting to hear from you. (Ditto.) What’s going on? Tomorrow’s Friday already! (Someone needs to introduce The Ex to Rebecca Black. There will be a lot less confusion about days of the week) Um, I’ll be there around 5 tomorrow. I’d like to see the kids and discuss this, if you don’t call me. (Husband emailed you on Tuesday. You do not get to call him on Thursday night and demand that he "discuss" things with you on Friday) So I’ll be at your house at 5. Me and [The Ex's niece]. (Yes, she brought her niece to an attempted custody exchange) So, um...I’d like to discuss this with you and see the kids and...and see how everything’s going with them. (Husband emailed you Tuesday. Husband sent you a text on Wednesday. You ignored him until now, so stop saying you want to discuss anything because you very clearly do not want to.) Um, so I’ll be there around 5pm tomorrow. Um, could you please call me back? (She really is not getting that Husband will not be communicating with her by phone.) Thanks."
The next morning, The Ex sent Husband the email complaining about how she didn't have Internet and had to "drive across town just to look at this." The Ex told Husband that he wasn't communicating with her and he wasn't listening to her when she told him about the Christmas party. The Ex said either Husband or I could come alone with the kids but not both of us. That night at 4:58pm:
"Hi [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. I am sitting in your driveway, waiting for you guys. I did tell you the other day that I was gonna be here, [The Ex's niece] and I, so I can see the kids. Um, you’re not here! Um, what’s going on? I’m kind of thinking you’re keeping the kids away? (Sherlock Holmes, everyone.) I don’t know. Anyways, I did email you. Um, the party’s at MY house! I don’t know where you even understood that it was at [The Ex’s sister] when her name didn’t even come up when I was talking to you the first time about it on Monday. (He understood that it was at your sister's house when you said, "It's at my sister's house." Dumbass.) Um, no idea. So...I’m not sure. Anyways, I...um, [The Ex's niece] is with me. She said she’d like to see her cousins. (The Ex never got together with her sister before this, The Ex still doesn't get together with her sister. The Ex tells Son and Daughter that it's her sister's fault) She said she tried [Son] three times and he didn’t answer. It went, it rang a couple times and went to voicemail like they’re ignoring her calls. So, do you think you can give me a call me back like, now?! Since I KNOW you’re out of work for the last half hour, if not more now? (I love how she says this like we were keeping it a secret but she found out because she is just so incredibly smart and clever; like Husband hasn't gotten out of work at the exact same time for the last 6 years) And let me know what’s going on?"
A few weeks later, The Ex left Son a voicemail. He didn't call her back, so just shy of an hour later she left this for Husband:
"Hello, it’s [The Ex]! Um, I’m calling. Um, for a couple reasons. I’m here in [our city], I was hoping to see the kids. You know, it’s my weekend. And two, um...you know I’ve been trying to call [Son] (How would you know if Husband knows this?) and I haven’t been able to get a hold of him. He told me he would call me yesterday and he didn’t. (Right, because he has nothing to talk about with you. He's a kid who misses you, but not quite nearly as much as you'd like to pretend he does) I’m trying to call him today and he’s not answering. Um, just want to know if you have his phone or what’s going on with that. (We didn't have Son's phone. And even if we did, we pay for the phone. If we take it away, that is our business and not yours. I don't have to explain anything to you.) I haven’t talked to [Daughter] in awhile, so I’d like to speak with the kids. Do you think you can have [Daughter] call me, please? And I’d like to talk to [Son] if you can have him call me also? It would be very much appreciated."
A few weeks after that:
"Hi [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Um, I think you’re at work right now, I’m pretty sure. (This message was left on a Thursday morning at 10:45am. Of course he's at work. He has a job, unlike you.) But I wanted to call you before I forgot. Um, I’m trying to communicate with you about the kids and all that. (This is her big thing lately: SHE is trying to "communicate" and Husband is NOT communicating, because he is a jerk) I know [Daughter] has a game Friday. (Daughter has had games on Friday for the last two and a half months.) Um, I’d like to speak to you about that if you can give me a call back. (There is nothing to speak about. Husband sent you the schedule in November; it had the date and time listed on the schedule.) Um, I do have my other phone. It’s um, XXX-XXX-XXXX. (We found out later that she had this phone number for 3+ months; this was the first time she gave it to Husband) Um, if that one’s not working ever then call on [Boyfriend’s]. But, um, that’s my phone number now and...I’d like you to call me. I’d like to speak with you about the kids, (I don't understand why she has such a hang-up about this. She NEEDS to talk to Husband or she's not happy.) um...about Friday and her game, so... Call me back either at XXX-XXX-XXXX (The new number which she already gave to him, which can also be accessed by going into the envelope information from Husband's voicemail) or at XXX-XXX-XXXX. (Boyfriend's number, which we've had for the last 5 years. Pretty sure she was recording herself leaving this message, which is why she kept saying things like "communicate" and left both phone numbers) Um, preferably before 4:30 would be nice. I know you get done with work at 4, so...thank you." ("I know you get done with work at 4, so thank you." Just read that a few times and try not to giggle.)
Shortly after that voicemail, we restarted placement. A few weeks later when Husband was at work:
"Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. I was only calling ‘cause I had a question about how to get there a different way. I’ll just call Dad. Bye." (Then why didn't you just call your dad in the first place?)
About a week and a half later, we were trying to sort everything out for variable expenses and placement and doing a stipulation. The Ex left this voicemail:
"Hey [Husband], it’s [The Ex]. Um, I had a couple questions and I want you to call me back like, now if you can. (I have no idea why she does this. She always calls and wants him to call her back immediately. Apparently we have nothing else going on other than to wait around for her to call) Otherwise as soon as possible. (Oh, why thank you for your graciousness) I had a couple questions about [Son and Daughter’s] um, eye, eye wear and eye exams. I just wanted to make sure I’m seeing the receipt right. (Considering I don't know how you're "seeing the receipt," I can't possibly tell you if it's right or not) And there’s a question I had on one and then another one on another, on [Son’s]. So, I just want to make sure I’m getting this all right ‘cause I don’t want any mess-ups later. I need to know how much I owe you and everything else. (Because all of the emails that Husband sent you which detailed what the new expense was and included the updated balance wasn't clear enough.) So, could you please call me back. Um, I have [Boyfriend’s] phone today ‘cause I’m using it for everything, (So you both have phones, but you're using Boyfriend's phone because.........?) so...um, XXX-XXX-XXXX. (Again, thank you for leaving me the phone number which I have had for the past 5 years already. I might have forgotten it) Thanks."
About a week later, Husband had sent The Ex an email about switching weekends because Baby Girl had a ballet recital and we wanted Son and Daughter to be there for her. The Ex leaves a voicemail:
"Hi [Husband]. It’s [The Ex]. I was calling to talk to the kids, if you can have them call me. Um, also I did see your email...um, about your daughter but I don’t know if we’re gonna be able to do anything on- switch anything that day. Um, just give me a call back. Bye." (Why is sending an email so incredibly difficult for this woman? She acknowledged that she read the email, but she will not reply to it. Instead she backs out of her email, calls Husband, leaves him a message and tells him to call her back. That is SO much easier than taking 30 seconds to reply, "We have things going on, can't switch. Sorry.")
A few weeks after this:
"It’s [The Ex]. I was just calling to talk to the kids. I haven’t talked to ‘em for a couple days and I have some things I needed to ask them. Um, stuff going on at the schools over here and I need to get ‘em signed up if they wanted to do some stuff this weekend. Have them call me. I need to know by tomorrow. Bye." (She left this on a Wednesday night. Husband had to send her a text to remind her that it was not her weekend.)
Over the next month, The Ex stopped calling and emailing because she was arguing about the kids playing sports by us. In late May she left a message for Husband while he was on a class trip with Son:
"Hey, I've been trying to call you so I can talk to [Son]. Wanted to know what's going on. Um, I don't know if it's okay if I call [my name's] phone to talk to [Daughter], (Since when is it not okay to call my phone? We have never once told her not to call my phone; she's called my phone in the past. Now she doesn't know if it's "okay"? I had literally sent her a text less than 2 weeks before wishing her a happy mother's day; now it's not okay for her to call my phone??) so do you think it'd be....um, would you call her and have [Daughter] call me? (This is how much The Ex hates me. She won't even call my phone to talk to her own kids. Instead, she wants Husband to call me, tell me that The Ex wants to talk to Daughter and then have Daughter call The Ex from my phone. That is easier than calling me herself, or even sending me a text asking my to have Daughter call her. No no, let's involve 40 people just so that The Ex doesn't have to talk to me.) Um, you know I've been calling before in the past weeks and you tell me they're not home yet, you'd have them call me. (This did not happen) And you still haven't returned none of those calls, the kids haven't. So, I'd appreciate it if you could have them call me today."
Two days later, The Ex's parents picked the kids up. Son left Husband a voicemail, asking if they could go to a waterpark with their grandparents the next Saturday (It was going to be on our weekend. You have to remember that we only got one weekend a month at that time; now The Ex's parents are telling the kids that they'll take them to a waterpark on our one weekend with them.) Husband did not respond to this, because the children are not supposed to be making plans. If The Ex's parents want to take the kids somewhere, then let them call and ask like the adults that they are supposed to be. One full week later, The Ex's dad leaves Husband a voicemail while he's at work:
"Hey [Husband], it's me [The Ex's dad]. Hey, uh...we got some extra tickets to the [waterpark]. I wanted to see if you'd let the kids come. Give me a call so we can talk about it, if they can go. I guess they wanna go. Okay, bye.” (Husband didn't call back. Son got picked to play in an all-star baseball tournament that weekend, so we went to that instead.)
A couple weeks after this, Husband had emailed The Ex and asked what she wanted to do about getting the kids back and forth to baseball; Husband said if the kids stayed with him an extra day, The Ex could have a make up day for it. The Ex ignored his email, then finally called Husband on the day he was supposed to bring the kids back to her and left this:
"Hey, it's me [The Ex]. I've been trying to call you. Um...I do want a make-up day then, for today. Because I'm just so busy, and I don't know. (You work 25 hours a week, if you're lucky. How are you "so busy"??) I'm hoping to be there for [Daughter's] game on...we'll be late. (The game is on "We'll be late-day"? Please, finish your thought before speaking.) Um, so I guess I- I'll just call you later tonight. Or tomorrow morning. Bye." (And naturally, she never called Husband after this)
Not too many messages were left over the next two weeks.. Then came the baseball game of Daughter's that got cancelled but The Ex didn't get my text message and drove up to School City? Here we go:
"[Husband], I'm really upset with you! Of all people, your WIFE! Because number one, I called her a little after eleven to find out if there was a game. (A little after eleven, there was a game. I gave you the information that I had at that time.) You don't know how upset I am (Nor do I care) that I wasted my time; I left work early to bring our daughter to this game that was cancelled! (Your choice. You insisted she come back to your house on Sunday night; you could have left her here and not left work early at all. So I don't care if you left work early, I don't care if you took the whole day off, I don't care if you got fired. This was your decision) I've asked you verbally how many different times, that I wanted coaches names and phone numbers. (She had been at games for both kids. Never bothered talking to the coaches. Not a single time.) If you CANNOT give them to me, I will not be transporting these kids (That's interesting. I don't recall seeing anywhere in the court agreement that you had to facilitate extracurriculars only if you had coaches' names and phone numbers.) because this was a waste of time and gas money that I don't have! (Then get a real job. You can usually afford things more easily if you get a job.) I had to- like I said, I had to leave work early for this! (And like I said, I don't care what you had to do. You clean hotel rooms; you are not that high-demand) And [my name] just told [Daughter] that she texted me? (Correct, I did say that.) Well, if she texted me, why didn't I find it in my phone? (How the hell should I know?) I want to see phone records if she texted me. (I want to see you not be a bitch. Any luck?) And number two, why would she show up at the park, where I was sitting for twenty-two minutes, if she texted me? (Because you told me you would call me at 2pm and didn't. I texted you and told you the game was cancelled, you didn't reply and I forgot about it until then) So, that's all kind of bull crap if you ask me! (Well, I didn't ask you because I really don't care what you think about anything at all.) I am upset, and you should be (gasps)...lucky, ("You should be lucky." Okay...) because I am REALLY upset. (And I REALLY don't care) I am VERY upset and I think this needs to be- you want the kids to play over here, which we did NOT agree to, (Except for the email where you said you'd bring the kids to their games if they played here) and you can't be open and verbal and let me know things, (We were open; we did "let her know things." We were NOT verbal because she lies about anything we do verbally. I don't think that's what she meant anyway, it's just what left her mouth while she was trying not to curse at him on his voicemail) then...then they SHOULDN'T play over here. So...why don't you sit on THAT for awhile?" (I still don't know what that means. I think she was under the impression that she really told Husband off so he could "sit on that for awhile"...?)
A week later was a prime example of why Husband is not "verbal" with her - that was the mess over her leaving Son with us on Monday, not telling us what she was planning, demanding on Wednesday night that we bring Son home on Wednesday night, filing for contempt of court and lying that she had tried to pick up the kids and we wouldn't answer the door.
The Ex stayed off Husband's voicemail for the next few weeks because we had court coming up. Less than two weeks after court:
"Hi [Husband], it's [The Ex]. Um, it's 7:45. Do you think you can give me a call back sometime tonight still? [Daughter] mentioned a birthday party and I didn't get your email. I'd like to talk to you about it. Alright. Bye." (If you didn't get Husband's email, then how do you know he emailed you? Idiot.)
About a month later, the kids said they wanted to go to a dance in School City but it was on The Ex's weekend. Husband emailed The Ex eight days before the dance, asking if the kids could go. Six days before the dance, The Ex called the kids and told them she got Husband's email but they couldn't go because she was having their brother's party that day; both kids complained and The Ex said she would call Husband that night or the night before about working something out so they could go to the dance. The Ex never called Husband. Husband emailed The Ex again, four days before the dance. The Ex does not answer. Son calls The Ex two days before the dance and says he wants to go to the dance; The Ex finally calls Husband and leaves this:
"Hi [Husband], this is [The Ex]. Um, I've been trying to call you today, just now. Twice now. (Call me forty times if you want; if I can't answer, it makes no difference how many times you call. I'm busy.) And I guess I'd like to talk to you about the email that you sent, so I'm trying to talk to you about it. (The email that he sent six days ago. She wants to talk about the email that he sent six days ago, which she read at least four days ago. NOW she wants to talk about it.) The kids wanna go to a soccer dance. You know, we just have a lot of stuff going on. I'm kind of confused and, we have stuff going on Friday. (They went to a fish fry. That was the "stuff" they had going on.) Not too much Saturday, but then we have the party on Sunday, so...(You see that? Four days before she left this message, she told the kids that their brother's party was the day of the soccer dance. Now, the party is the day AFTER the soccer dance so there's not a good way to work around it. She intentionally did this just to be a bitch.) I'm trying to, don't know what to do. I do have a compromise with you, I'd like to talk to you about it. (Her compromise was to switch weekends but she would still get the kids on Sunday for the party. So her "compromise" was to just give her everything she wanted.) I guess if you don't return my call today so we can talk about it, I'll just be there at 5 o'clock to get the kids. Alright? Call me back.” (She left this message 22 hours before she was supposed to pick up the kids. If Husband does not call her back immediately, then it is his fault because he "didn't communicate with her." She actually called Son and told him that it was going to be Husband's fault and to not get mad at her for it.)
"Hi [Husband], it's [The Ex]. Um, Dad's picking up the kids on Friday and he wanted to know if he can get 'em just a little bit earlier? Uh, can you call me back? It'll...you know, a little bit earlier meaning half hour earlier, if not an hour, but...um...can you call back? Or call Dad? One of us, doesn't matter who? And let- let me know please? Bye." (Son hurt himself the day after this and needed stitches; The Ex's parents came to the hospital. We told The Ex's dad in person that day that early pickup on Friday wasn't an option because of the time Husband got out of work; The Ex's dad said okay and we said we'd see them at 5pm. That Friday, The Ex's parents were at our house almost an hour and a half early and were pissed off at Husband because they had to wait.)
Exactly two weeks later on the Monday before Thanksgiving:
"[Husband], it's me [The Ex's mom]. I just wanted to know, [The Ex]- uh, sister-in-law called me. She didn't feel like calling you, so I'm calling you. (Why are either of you calling Husband?) They wanna know if they- she, [The Ex] is gonna be able to pick the kids up on Tuesday or not until Wednesday. Uh, please give me a call. You know my number. If not, it's uh, XXX-XXX-XXXX. Please give me a call back. Thank you." (Husband didn't respond to this. The court order says he and The Ex are to communicate directly, not through a third party.)
Because Husband didn't call her back, The Ex's mom called him again:
"[Husband], it's me [The Ex's mom] again. Would you give me a call? It's not life or death, but-
well, would you answer it? Bye." (If it's not life or death, why are you calling repeatedly?)
The Ex's mom then called Son, who told her that Husband was eating dinner. The Ex's mom told Son to make sure that Husband called her back (Because that's his responsibility) Husband finally sent The Ex's mom a text saying that he had sent a text to The Ex yesterday and had emailed her that day. The Ex's mom said that The Ex didn't have a phone so that was why she was calling; an hour and a half later, The Ex's mom says that The Ex will be there on Tuesday to get the kids, and that she has to call Boyfriend's sister and tell her what's going on so that she can go over to The Ex's and let her know what's going on (This all could have been simplified if a)The Ex would reply to emails or b)The Ex would borrow a phone for 2 minutes, call Husband, ask the question herself. Instead, The Ex asks her sister-in-law to call Husband; she doesn't want to, so the sister-in-law calls The Ex's mom, who then calls Husband.) Husband replies that he will talk to The Ex, not all these other people. While he and The Ex's mom are texting back and forth, she calls a third time:"All the time I've ever known you [Husband], you've never been like this. (Like what, exactly?) All I'm asking you, is she supposed to pick them up tomorrow or not? And what time I can pick them up on Wednesday. (Wait, what? "Is The Ex getting them Tuesday? And what time can I pick them up on Wednesday?" I'm beginning to think that stupidity is hereditary.) I'm sorry it's so hard, I'm just asking simple little question. What's wrong with you? (Yeah, Husband. This is clearly all your fault) She has no phone, she hasn't had a phone in three days. (That's what happens when you don't pay your bill, they disconnect your service.) She's trying to get a new one. So she can't talk to you."
And that little gem wrapped up voicemails for 2013.
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