"Oh darn!!" / Son's confirmation
I can't remember off the top of my head how much detail I've gone into regarding The Ex's siblings and parents. We used to get along very well with her oldest sister, the one who always said the kids were better off with us. Then she got all mad at us for withholding the kids, quit talking to us, deleted us on Facebook, re-added me but we don't really talk the way we used to. Previously, we would text each other or even get together and hang out at the kids' events (Hers and ours).
Saturday night, I get a text message from this sister after I haven't really spoken to her since December when we wished each other a merry Christmas. The sister wants to know if we have the kids on June 8th. I say yes, we do. Sister asks, "Do u think they can come to [her son's] graduation party?"
Let me pause for a moment and explain this. This woman posted on Facebook in March that she was looking for halls to rent for this party. She created a Facebook event for it, which neither Husband or I were invited to. She has been planning this party for almost three months and is now asking, three weeks before the party, if Son and Daughter can come. She is not asking if we can bring Son and Daughter; she's just asking if they can come to the party.
I say we're going to be out-of-town that day, which is the honest to God truth. She replies, "Oh darn!!" and says they haven't seen Son or Daughter in months since they don't get to The Ex's or their parents' place that often.
I'm not sure if she expected a response to that, but I did not give her one. I do not care why you do or do not go to visit your family; that is between you and The Ex to deal with.
The kids' school does confirmation as part of their schooling. As noted in earlier blog posts, The Ex brings up Catholicism at random times (Even though she thinks Lutheran and Catholic are "pretty much the same thing.") Both Son and Daughter have said that they have told The Ex, to her face, that they do not agree with the Catholic religion and do not want to attend church during her placement. (I told them to go with her anyway and be respectful to their mother when she says to do something)
Son is graduating 8th grade this year and hand-in-hand with that goes his confirmation. Information has been given out in the newsletters; I know for a fact that Son mentioned it to The Ex more than once. The night of questioning was scheduled the same date that we had court, which means that The Ex and her parents would all have been in town already - none of them came to the questioning.
Son was confirmed on Sunday morning. The parents who stood behind him, promised to help him walk with God, and watched him take his first communion were Husband and myself. It was a very bittersweet moment for a lot of reasons, but the most painful was the glaring fact that The Ex was not there for this moment in her child's life. After making such a production about Husband bringing Son and Daughter to the baptism of the two kids that The Ex and Boyfriend share, she did not bother to attend Son's confirmation.
Son later asked me to text a picture of "just him" at his confirmation. (I assumed he was going to send it to The Ex and knew she would not want a picture of me and/or Husband with Son. I was right.) Forty-five minutes after he sent her the picture, The Ex replies and says he looked good, "Wish I could have been there."
Not, "That was today?"
Not, "I had no idea you were getting confirmed."
Not, "Your dad didn't tell me!" (We were expecting that to be her excuse for not attending)
Just "Wish I could have been there."
There is absolutely nothing in this world that prevented her from coming. The Ex knew about the confirmation and made a conscious decision to do something else that day. The Ex's siblings and parents didn't even come. I am not angry about this; I am hurt for Son that his own mother could miss such a vital milestone in his life and brush it off with a simple, "Wish I could have been there."
Saturday night, I get a text message from this sister after I haven't really spoken to her since December when we wished each other a merry Christmas. The sister wants to know if we have the kids on June 8th. I say yes, we do. Sister asks, "Do u think they can come to [her son's] graduation party?"
Let me pause for a moment and explain this. This woman posted on Facebook in March that she was looking for halls to rent for this party. She created a Facebook event for it, which neither Husband or I were invited to. She has been planning this party for almost three months and is now asking, three weeks before the party, if Son and Daughter can come. She is not asking if we can bring Son and Daughter; she's just asking if they can come to the party.
I say we're going to be out-of-town that day, which is the honest to God truth. She replies, "Oh darn!!" and says they haven't seen Son or Daughter in months since they don't get to The Ex's or their parents' place that often.
I'm not sure if she expected a response to that, but I did not give her one. I do not care why you do or do not go to visit your family; that is between you and The Ex to deal with.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The kids' school does confirmation as part of their schooling. As noted in earlier blog posts, The Ex brings up Catholicism at random times (Even though she thinks Lutheran and Catholic are "pretty much the same thing.") Both Son and Daughter have said that they have told The Ex, to her face, that they do not agree with the Catholic religion and do not want to attend church during her placement. (I told them to go with her anyway and be respectful to their mother when she says to do something)
Son is graduating 8th grade this year and hand-in-hand with that goes his confirmation. Information has been given out in the newsletters; I know for a fact that Son mentioned it to The Ex more than once. The night of questioning was scheduled the same date that we had court, which means that The Ex and her parents would all have been in town already - none of them came to the questioning.
Son was confirmed on Sunday morning. The parents who stood behind him, promised to help him walk with God, and watched him take his first communion were Husband and myself. It was a very bittersweet moment for a lot of reasons, but the most painful was the glaring fact that The Ex was not there for this moment in her child's life. After making such a production about Husband bringing Son and Daughter to the baptism of the two kids that The Ex and Boyfriend share, she did not bother to attend Son's confirmation.
Son later asked me to text a picture of "just him" at his confirmation. (I assumed he was going to send it to The Ex and knew she would not want a picture of me and/or Husband with Son. I was right.) Forty-five minutes after he sent her the picture, The Ex replies and says he looked good, "Wish I could have been there."
Not, "That was today?"
Not, "I had no idea you were getting confirmed."
Not, "Your dad didn't tell me!" (We were expecting that to be her excuse for not attending)
Just "Wish I could have been there."
There is absolutely nothing in this world that prevented her from coming. The Ex knew about the confirmation and made a conscious decision to do something else that day. The Ex's siblings and parents didn't even come. I am not angry about this; I am hurt for Son that his own mother could miss such a vital milestone in his life and brush it off with a simple, "Wish I could have been there."
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