"I did nothing wrong."
Remember last week when I said it had been quiet and I was enjoying it? There was no arguing, things were peaceful, we could relax and enjoy life?
Yup...I spoke too soon.
Let's rewind a few days before I jinxed us. The Ex's dad bought Son a new video game just before dropping the kids off at our house. Husband was taking them back to The Ex's on Monday and Son got upset because he had not brought his new game with him, since he didn't realize when they left that they weren't coming back home before heading to New City.
Saturday afternoon, we were visiting a friend in the hospital when Son called Husband. Son asked if he could pick up his game. Husband said no, not when we weren't home. Son asked if he could use the spare key to go get the game. Husband said he wasn't sure where the spare was, but he didn't want the house being opened while we were not there. Son was irritated by this but too bad - The Ex is crazy and we don't want our house open to her without us there to watch what she's doing/saying.
We get home and go look in Son's room. The game is gone and the game console is empty.
Husband calls Son and asks where the game is. Son says it should be in his room. Husband says it's not in his room and asks if Son came to the house. Son says no, he didn't. Husband asks where the game is; Son says he doesn't know. Husband asks again if Son opened the house and came inside. Son says no. Husband asks where the game is. Son says maybe it's still at The Ex's parents' house. (I went into Son's room two days prior to this conversation because he had left a fan on. I saw the video game in his room at that time. It was in our house less than 48 hours ago and was now not in our house.) Husband says no, it's not at The Ex's parents house; we know this because Son was upset on Monday when he left it behind at our house. Husband again asks if Son came into the house and took the game. Son says no. Husband says we will have to call the police because the game is missing, which means someone broke into the house and stole our belongings. Son says okay. They hang up.
We go downstairs, look at some other things, realize there's a controller missing. Husband calls Son back and asks where the controller is. Son says that should be in his room. We go back to Son's room and find the controller. Husband tells Son that we have now found the controller, but the game is not here. Husband asks Son again if he came and took the game. Son says no. Husband repeats that if Son did not take the game, we are going to call the police because somebody must have been in the house, but Son says it was not him. Son again says, "Okay." Son then asks if he can just get a new game because "Grandpa bought the extended warranty." Husband says it doesn't work like that; for it to be warrantied, you need to take the original game back to the store and exchange it for a new one. Son says he has the receipt; Husband tells him that doesn't matter. Son says, "....oh." Husband asks again if Son took the game from our house. Son still says no. They hang up for the second time.
Husband calls Daughter and asks if they came into the house. Daughter says no. Husband tells her the same thing - if they did not take the game, then someone broke into our house and we are going to have to call the police. Daughter says okay. They hang up.
I call the local police and reach dispatch, tell them I need to speak to an officer because I believe someone was in my home without my consent. Dispatch takes my information, asks what happened exactly, I tell her. As dispatch is typing in Son's contact information, Husband comes outside with his phone and says, "You can tell them they don't need to come out. [Son] just called back right now and admitted he lied, he took the game." I apologize to dispatch, tell them Son is now admitting to coming into the house and tell them they can cancel the officer.
Husband hands me the phone and tells me to talk to Son. I ask Son if he came into the house after he was told not to and then lied to Husband; Son says yes. I tell him we will talk on Friday when they get dropped off. Daughter then sends Husband a text message apologizing for lying to him. (Husband later tells me that when Son called him back, he apologized and said, "I just didn't want it to be a waste of gas." That means they were already at our house when Son first called to ask if he could go inside. Husband said no; Son did it anyway.)
Husband texts both of the kids, tells them that they can use The Ex's phone if they need to reach us. We call our provider and shut off both Son & Daughter's phones. Husband then texts The Ex (and here's where it gets fun) and asks her to please not come to our house when we are not home, and if it happens again we will call the police. Husband also asks her to return both Son & Daughter's phones on Friday and says thank you.
The Ex replies:
"For your information I wasn't in your house. (Um...I never said you were. All Husband said was don't come to the house. This sounds excessively guilty and is a red flag for me.) Not even in your driveway. (I can't prove it but I'm pretty sure this is a lie. Each and every time she drops off/picks up the kids, she pulls into the driveway. There have been times that I cannot park in my own driveway when I get home from work, because she is parked there.) I did nothing wrong. (Never said you did. Another red flag.) Neither did our kids. (Except for Son doing exactly what Husband said not to do. And Son lying to Husband. And Daughter lying to Husband. Yeah, I guess none of those things are "wrong" by The Ex's standards.) Go ahead and call the police when our son was in his house. That would look nice. (She would be right if the only thing that happened was Son entered the house and admitted to it.) He says he didn't break in. (No, he found our spare key and entered it while we were not home after being told not to.) So why involve the police. (Because Son said he didn't come into the house, yet property was missing. That would be why we involved the police.) Enough said. (...what? I think she thought this sounded really sassy and smart.) Don't text me back about this. (Controlling, much?) It's ridiculous and I don't want to hear it." (You came to my home unannounced, allowed Son to unlock our house after he was told not to, told the kids to lie about it....and Husband is being ridiculous?! Omfg...)
Husband replies and tells her that he is clearly stating that she does not have permission to be on his property unless the kids are being exchanged and if she does it again, he will call the police.
The Ex replies:
"Again I will tell you I was not on your property. Grow Up" (Yes, she actually said that and yes, she capitalized "up.")
Some of you might be asking why this is such a big deal; why are we freaking out if Son just went in his own house and got his own game? Here is a list of some of the convictions of The Ex, her family, Boyfriend, his family, and their friends:
• Disorderly conduct (more times between all of them than I have fingers and toes)
• Disorderly conduct as a domestic abuse incident
• Distributing alcohol to minors
• Theft of movable property over $2,500 (three separate convictions)
• Theft of movable property under $2,500 (two separate convictions)
• Theft in a business setting over $2,500 (a felony conviction)
• Obstructing an officer
• Possession of an illegally obtained prescription
• 2nd degree sexual assault of a child
• Sex offender - failure to provide fingerprints
Those are all the things that they have been convicted of; I didn't include anything that they were charged with but was later dismissed by the court. I didn't include all of the traffic violations, like speeding or operating with a revoked/suspended license. I didn't include all of the times they had been sued for money or evicted. Additionally, at least 5 of these people admitted to the police that they use marijuana and cocaine. These people are out-and-out dirty criminals, every last one of them - and this is who The Ex associates with. So no, it is not just a matter of, "Son went inside his own home to get a video game." It is a matter of, "Son unlocked our house and exposed us to criminals when we were not around to protect ourselves or our home."
Our Attorney has been contacted and there is now a call log with our county sheriff over the incident. We are going to have a big, loooooooooooooooooooooooong discussion about responsibility and lying with Son and Daughter when they get dropped off on Friday.
Yup...I spoke too soon.
Let's rewind a few days before I jinxed us. The Ex's dad bought Son a new video game just before dropping the kids off at our house. Husband was taking them back to The Ex's on Monday and Son got upset because he had not brought his new game with him, since he didn't realize when they left that they weren't coming back home before heading to New City.
Saturday afternoon, we were visiting a friend in the hospital when Son called Husband. Son asked if he could pick up his game. Husband said no, not when we weren't home. Son asked if he could use the spare key to go get the game. Husband said he wasn't sure where the spare was, but he didn't want the house being opened while we were not there. Son was irritated by this but too bad - The Ex is crazy and we don't want our house open to her without us there to watch what she's doing/saying.
We get home and go look in Son's room. The game is gone and the game console is empty.
Husband calls Son and asks where the game is. Son says it should be in his room. Husband says it's not in his room and asks if Son came to the house. Son says no, he didn't. Husband asks where the game is; Son says he doesn't know. Husband asks again if Son opened the house and came inside. Son says no. Husband asks where the game is. Son says maybe it's still at The Ex's parents' house. (I went into Son's room two days prior to this conversation because he had left a fan on. I saw the video game in his room at that time. It was in our house less than 48 hours ago and was now not in our house.) Husband says no, it's not at The Ex's parents house; we know this because Son was upset on Monday when he left it behind at our house. Husband again asks if Son came into the house and took the game. Son says no. Husband says we will have to call the police because the game is missing, which means someone broke into the house and stole our belongings. Son says okay. They hang up.
We go downstairs, look at some other things, realize there's a controller missing. Husband calls Son back and asks where the controller is. Son says that should be in his room. We go back to Son's room and find the controller. Husband tells Son that we have now found the controller, but the game is not here. Husband asks Son again if he came and took the game. Son says no. Husband repeats that if Son did not take the game, we are going to call the police because somebody must have been in the house, but Son says it was not him. Son again says, "Okay." Son then asks if he can just get a new game because "Grandpa bought the extended warranty." Husband says it doesn't work like that; for it to be warrantied, you need to take the original game back to the store and exchange it for a new one. Son says he has the receipt; Husband tells him that doesn't matter. Son says, "....oh." Husband asks again if Son took the game from our house. Son still says no. They hang up for the second time.
Husband calls Daughter and asks if they came into the house. Daughter says no. Husband tells her the same thing - if they did not take the game, then someone broke into our house and we are going to have to call the police. Daughter says okay. They hang up.
I call the local police and reach dispatch, tell them I need to speak to an officer because I believe someone was in my home without my consent. Dispatch takes my information, asks what happened exactly, I tell her. As dispatch is typing in Son's contact information, Husband comes outside with his phone and says, "You can tell them they don't need to come out. [Son] just called back right now and admitted he lied, he took the game." I apologize to dispatch, tell them Son is now admitting to coming into the house and tell them they can cancel the officer.
Husband hands me the phone and tells me to talk to Son. I ask Son if he came into the house after he was told not to and then lied to Husband; Son says yes. I tell him we will talk on Friday when they get dropped off. Daughter then sends Husband a text message apologizing for lying to him. (Husband later tells me that when Son called him back, he apologized and said, "I just didn't want it to be a waste of gas." That means they were already at our house when Son first called to ask if he could go inside. Husband said no; Son did it anyway.)
Husband texts both of the kids, tells them that they can use The Ex's phone if they need to reach us. We call our provider and shut off both Son & Daughter's phones. Husband then texts The Ex (and here's where it gets fun) and asks her to please not come to our house when we are not home, and if it happens again we will call the police. Husband also asks her to return both Son & Daughter's phones on Friday and says thank you.
The Ex replies:
"For your information I wasn't in your house. (Um...I never said you were. All Husband said was don't come to the house. This sounds excessively guilty and is a red flag for me.) Not even in your driveway. (I can't prove it but I'm pretty sure this is a lie. Each and every time she drops off/picks up the kids, she pulls into the driveway. There have been times that I cannot park in my own driveway when I get home from work, because she is parked there.) I did nothing wrong. (Never said you did. Another red flag.) Neither did our kids. (Except for Son doing exactly what Husband said not to do. And Son lying to Husband. And Daughter lying to Husband. Yeah, I guess none of those things are "wrong" by The Ex's standards.) Go ahead and call the police when our son was in his house. That would look nice. (She would be right if the only thing that happened was Son entered the house and admitted to it.) He says he didn't break in. (No, he found our spare key and entered it while we were not home after being told not to.) So why involve the police. (Because Son said he didn't come into the house, yet property was missing. That would be why we involved the police.) Enough said. (...what? I think she thought this sounded really sassy and smart.) Don't text me back about this. (Controlling, much?) It's ridiculous and I don't want to hear it." (You came to my home unannounced, allowed Son to unlock our house after he was told not to, told the kids to lie about it....and Husband is being ridiculous?! Omfg...)
Husband replies and tells her that he is clearly stating that she does not have permission to be on his property unless the kids are being exchanged and if she does it again, he will call the police.
The Ex replies:
"Again I will tell you I was not on your property. Grow Up" (Yes, she actually said that and yes, she capitalized "up.")
Some of you might be asking why this is such a big deal; why are we freaking out if Son just went in his own house and got his own game? Here is a list of some of the convictions of The Ex, her family, Boyfriend, his family, and their friends:
• Disorderly conduct (more times between all of them than I have fingers and toes)
• Disorderly conduct as a domestic abuse incident
• Distributing alcohol to minors
• Theft of movable property over $2,500 (three separate convictions)
• Theft of movable property under $2,500 (two separate convictions)
• Theft in a business setting over $2,500 (a felony conviction)
• Obstructing an officer
• Possession of an illegally obtained prescription
• 2nd degree sexual assault of a child
• Sex offender - failure to provide fingerprints
• Operating while intoxicated (at least ten separate convictions)
• Hit and run (at least four convictions)
• Retail theft over $500
• Domestic abuse restraining order
Those are all the things that they have been convicted of; I didn't include anything that they were charged with but was later dismissed by the court. I didn't include all of the traffic violations, like speeding or operating with a revoked/suspended license. I didn't include all of the times they had been sued for money or evicted. Additionally, at least 5 of these people admitted to the police that they use marijuana and cocaine. These people are out-and-out dirty criminals, every last one of them - and this is who The Ex associates with. So no, it is not just a matter of, "Son went inside his own home to get a video game." It is a matter of, "Son unlocked our house and exposed us to criminals when we were not around to protect ourselves or our home."
Our Attorney has been contacted and there is now a call log with our county sheriff over the incident. We are going to have a big, loooooooooooooooooooooooong discussion about responsibility and lying with Son and Daughter when they get dropped off on Friday.
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