"You can't make him..."
Husband emailed The Ex all the way back in June about Son wanting to play football. The court order reads that if a specific response is not made within 48 hours, it will be considered agreeing to the activity that the other parent is proposing. The Ex did not respond to the email, thereby agreeing that Son could play football.
In the middle of June, Son was at our house for a weekend and said, "I can't wait for football to start. When's my first practice?" We told Son that we weren't sure yet; we would get the information soon enough and once we had it, we'd tell him.
On the Tuesday after Son said he couldn't wait for football to start, we talked to the coach and he said the camp would be starting on Monday. Husband sent The Ex an email saying that Son would need to be in School City by 3:30pm on Monday with a pair of cleats. Husband said he wasn't sure if The Ex would have to work overtime so she could drop off Son on Sunday night instead, then she wouldn't have to rush here to make sure Son was on time.
Two days went by. No answer from The Ex. Husband sends her a text message that asked which day she would be bringing Son.
Three and a half hours later (And 53 hours after Husband emailed her), The Ex sends an email:
"[Husband]
I have talked to [Son] and he has told me he doesn't want to participate in football this year. (Here we go again...every damn year, it's the exact same thing with this broad.) If you have any questions. (This is not. A sentence.) You can call me tomorrow Friday. (How about I call you yesterday never?)
[The Ex]"
We had gone to bed early and didn't see this email until Friday; Husband was going to email her back but thought better of it and chose text message instead. (If we send the email, The Ex will claim that a)she didn't get it or b)she didn't see it in time. Nope - we're cutting it too close to play the "I didn't get your message" game with her right now.)
Husband sends a text message that says he is not going to fight about it, Son told everybody here all year long that he wanted to play, including the guardian ad litem; he just asked when his first practice was going to be. Husband says he emailed The Ex three weeks ago about this and she didn't object; Son is already signed up and needs to be here by Monday afternoon. Husband asks her to let him know if she is dropping Son off on Sunday or Monday so that he can make sure he is home.
The Ex replies:
"Who said we were fighting? (Um...nobody.) I talked to [Son] and he says he doesn't want to play. (That's funny. Six days ago he said he "couldn't wait" and now, he magically "doesn't want to play"?) You can't make him (...excuse me??) and neither will I. (I'm going to play therapist for a minute here and deconstruct how this sentence is worded. "Husband CANNOT make Son play football; The Ex WILL NOT make Son play football." Husband has no control over Son; The Ex has control over Son, but will choose not to exercise it. That is laughable, at best.) If you want to talk to him. (For the umpteenth time, this is not a sentence. Is she aware that commas exist? Is she aware that she is allowed to utilize commas in her writing?) Then call and talk to him. ("I'm going to put Son in the middle of our disagreement about this, because I'm a childish douche who can't handle things on her own.")"
Husband replies and says that he didn't say they were fighting; he told her that he will not fight about this. He repeats that Son is already enrolled because he said he wanted to play. Husband says that The Ex agreed to Son playing and agreed to facilitate extracurricular activities so if Son is NOT here by Monday afternoon, Husband will file for contempt against The Ex for violating the court order.
The Ex does not reply.
The next night, we had gone out with some friends and left our phones in the vehicle. Husband didn't get his phone until after 10pm and found five missed phone calls, a text message AND a voice mail from Son saying he "changed his mind." (I seriously cannot believe how pathetic this woman is.) Husband replies that he's sorry Son is being made to feel like that (Because let's be honest - you don't go from "I can't wait" to "I changed my mind" in five days. No freaking way.), he told everyone here that he wanted to play and because of that, he is already signed up. Husband says they can talk about it Monday after camp is finished.
Sunday afternoon, The Ex calls Husband and then sends 2 text messages:
"Will you be home around 5"
Three minutes later:
"Tried calling you. Your (*you're) not answering. (Sorry for doing things other than carrying around my cell phone waiting for your phone call. I will have a chip implanted in my head so I can automatically answer calls to make sure that I never, ever, EVER miss another call from you again because you have so many incredibly important things to talk about.) Can you please call me back (No. It's going to be in writing or it's not happening.)"
Husband replies that yes, he will be home. The Ex says:
"Do you think you can meet me in [city name here] around 6 (Omg, why didn't you just ask that in the first place? Honestly...)"
Husband asks for what. The Ex replies:
"What do you mean for what??? (Yes, she actually used three question marks.) So I can drop off [Son]"
Husband says yes and asks where she would like to meet. The Ex gives him a place, Husband says that's fine and he'll see her at 6.
"Thanks! OK 6" (This one makes me laugh. I don't know why.)
They met at 6pm, The Ex got out of her car, thanked Husband for meeting her(Say whaaat?!), AND she gave him a check for what she owed for the kids' class trip. (I am attributing all of this solely to the fact that I prayed very, very hard about this on Saturday night. This is nothing short of a miracle.)
Afterwards, we did talk to Son about this and explained that this is not about "forcing" him to play football. We asked if he wanted to play baseball this year, he said no, and we did not enroll him. He said all year long that he wanted to play, and asked us on our last visitation weekend when he'd be starting; when we asked what changed in five days, he had no answer. We told Son that next year, if he doesn't want to play then we won't enroll him; however, he said he wanted to play this year, he committed to it, and it is immature and irresponsible to "change your mind" four days before the event starts.
Most recently, The Ex called to talk to him and asked if Son was glad that he ended up going to the camp; Son told her yes. (Even if he would have said no, it wouldn't matter. You committed to it, you follow through. Period.)
In the middle of June, Son was at our house for a weekend and said, "I can't wait for football to start. When's my first practice?" We told Son that we weren't sure yet; we would get the information soon enough and once we had it, we'd tell him.
On the Tuesday after Son said he couldn't wait for football to start, we talked to the coach and he said the camp would be starting on Monday. Husband sent The Ex an email saying that Son would need to be in School City by 3:30pm on Monday with a pair of cleats. Husband said he wasn't sure if The Ex would have to work overtime so she could drop off Son on Sunday night instead, then she wouldn't have to rush here to make sure Son was on time.
Two days went by. No answer from The Ex. Husband sends her a text message that asked which day she would be bringing Son.
Three and a half hours later (And 53 hours after Husband emailed her), The Ex sends an email:
"[Husband]
I have talked to [Son] and he has told me he doesn't want to participate in football this year. (Here we go again...every damn year, it's the exact same thing with this broad.) If you have any questions. (This is not. A sentence.) You can call me tomorrow Friday. (How about I call you yesterday never?)
[The Ex]"
We had gone to bed early and didn't see this email until Friday; Husband was going to email her back but thought better of it and chose text message instead. (If we send the email, The Ex will claim that a)she didn't get it or b)she didn't see it in time. Nope - we're cutting it too close to play the "I didn't get your message" game with her right now.)
Husband sends a text message that says he is not going to fight about it, Son told everybody here all year long that he wanted to play, including the guardian ad litem; he just asked when his first practice was going to be. Husband says he emailed The Ex three weeks ago about this and she didn't object; Son is already signed up and needs to be here by Monday afternoon. Husband asks her to let him know if she is dropping Son off on Sunday or Monday so that he can make sure he is home.
The Ex replies:
"Who said we were fighting? (Um...nobody.) I talked to [Son] and he says he doesn't want to play. (That's funny. Six days ago he said he "couldn't wait" and now, he magically "doesn't want to play"?) You can't make him (...excuse me??) and neither will I. (I'm going to play therapist for a minute here and deconstruct how this sentence is worded. "Husband CANNOT make Son play football; The Ex WILL NOT make Son play football." Husband has no control over Son; The Ex has control over Son, but will choose not to exercise it. That is laughable, at best.) If you want to talk to him. (For the umpteenth time, this is not a sentence. Is she aware that commas exist? Is she aware that she is allowed to utilize commas in her writing?) Then call and talk to him. ("I'm going to put Son in the middle of our disagreement about this, because I'm a childish douche who can't handle things on her own.")"
Husband replies and says that he didn't say they were fighting; he told her that he will not fight about this. He repeats that Son is already enrolled because he said he wanted to play. Husband says that The Ex agreed to Son playing and agreed to facilitate extracurricular activities so if Son is NOT here by Monday afternoon, Husband will file for contempt against The Ex for violating the court order.
The Ex does not reply.
The next night, we had gone out with some friends and left our phones in the vehicle. Husband didn't get his phone until after 10pm and found five missed phone calls, a text message AND a voice mail from Son saying he "changed his mind." (I seriously cannot believe how pathetic this woman is.) Husband replies that he's sorry Son is being made to feel like that (Because let's be honest - you don't go from "I can't wait" to "I changed my mind" in five days. No freaking way.), he told everyone here that he wanted to play and because of that, he is already signed up. Husband says they can talk about it Monday after camp is finished.
Sunday afternoon, The Ex calls Husband and then sends 2 text messages:
"Will you be home around 5"
Three minutes later:
"Tried calling you. Your (*you're) not answering. (Sorry for doing things other than carrying around my cell phone waiting for your phone call. I will have a chip implanted in my head so I can automatically answer calls to make sure that I never, ever, EVER miss another call from you again because you have so many incredibly important things to talk about.) Can you please call me back (No. It's going to be in writing or it's not happening.)"
Husband replies that yes, he will be home. The Ex says:
"Do you think you can meet me in [city name here] around 6 (Omg, why didn't you just ask that in the first place? Honestly...)"
Husband asks for what. The Ex replies:
"What do you mean for what??? (Yes, she actually used three question marks.) So I can drop off [Son]"
Husband says yes and asks where she would like to meet. The Ex gives him a place, Husband says that's fine and he'll see her at 6.
"Thanks! OK 6" (This one makes me laugh. I don't know why.)
They met at 6pm, The Ex got out of her car, thanked Husband for meeting her(Say whaaat?!), AND she gave him a check for what she owed for the kids' class trip. (I am attributing all of this solely to the fact that I prayed very, very hard about this on Saturday night. This is nothing short of a miracle.)
Afterwards, we did talk to Son about this and explained that this is not about "forcing" him to play football. We asked if he wanted to play baseball this year, he said no, and we did not enroll him. He said all year long that he wanted to play, and asked us on our last visitation weekend when he'd be starting; when we asked what changed in five days, he had no answer. We told Son that next year, if he doesn't want to play then we won't enroll him; however, he said he wanted to play this year, he committed to it, and it is immature and irresponsible to "change your mind" four days before the event starts.
Most recently, The Ex called to talk to him and asked if Son was glad that he ended up going to the camp; Son told her yes. (Even if he would have said no, it wouldn't matter. You committed to it, you follow through. Period.)
Sounds way too familiar. Funny how someone can convince her son he doesn't want to do something he really wants to do. Master manipulation at its finest. Our BM convinced her son he didn't like chocolate ice cream. The kid loves chocolate ice cream. He loved it before the divorce anyway. But then after the divorce he suddenly couldn't stand it. Hmmm, maybe because BM doesn't like chocolate ice cream and is so manipulative that she actually convinced him he doesn't either. Of course, when we asked him about it we got "well, taste buds change." Yes, that's true. OR...your mom is a manipulative narcissist who knows how to get in your head and tinker for her own enjoyment. Crazy.
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