Can we say "contempt"?
We sat down for dinner Monday night. Son asked if The Ex was picking them up. (According to The Ex, Husband should just automatically know if/when/how she is picking up the kids and write notes on her behalf because....um...just because he should, so there. Son is now asking US if The Ex is picking them up. Clearly, this is not our issue if her own child is doubtful about whether or not his mother is coming to get him.) We tell Son that we don't know because The Ex has not replied.
Son shakes his head and says, "Her email doesn't work." (Oh my dear heavens, here we go again.) I look at him and ask, "....again?!" Son nods yes; The Ex is supposedly having problems with her email for the millionth time this year. I ask Son, "Why is it that your mom is the only person to always have a problem with her email?" Son shrugs. (The answer would be, "Because my mom is a dumb ass" but then I probably would have told him not to say the word "ass" and it would have been a whole issue.) We tell the kids that we are not yelling at them, but it is not their job to communicate for The Ex. The Ex is a grown up, Husband is a grown up; they are the parents and it is their job to talk. It is not Son and Daughter's job to say, "Hey, Mom/Dad wanted you to know..." (Additionally, it's been written in the court order for the last 4 effing years. The kids are human beings, not your little minions. Grow a pair and talk to Husband like an adult.) Husband tells the kids that if The Ex's email "isn't working" then she needs to either get it working or get a new email address; he says that email is how they are supposed to communicate and The Ex knows that.
Miraculously, Husband got a text message from The Ex less than 2 hours after this:
"[Husband] (Why would she address Husband by his first name in a text message? Who else is going to get Husband's text message on Husband's phone? Buuuut, that will be covered shortly.)
Can you please have [Son] bring that form home (Husband told her that a signed note was required; he never once used the word "form." From that point forward, The Ex has somehow been under the impression that the school has a "form" which we need to get a copy of, fill out, sign and return to the school. I don't know where she comes up with this.) so you can fill it out and sign it for the football game this Friday. (Is this a question? Her use of a period indicates it's a statement, not a question.) Thanks, [The Ex](Again, why would she sign her own name in a text message? Who else is going to text Husband from The Ex's phone and ask him to sign a form "for the football game"?)"
Then it all came together last night. Daughter tells me that The Ex forwarded to both her AND Son the text she sent to Husband. (Because it's somehow their job to take care of transportation) I ask Daughter why The Ex would have sent her and Son a text that was meant for Husband; Daughter says she doesn't know. I later look at Daughter's phone and find this:
10/06/2014
The Ex - 7:21pm - Hey sweetie! How are you?
Daughter - 7:47pm - Good did u tell dad to give a note to coach (Daughter is now worried about The Ex not following up. Do we see a pattern here?)
The Ex - 7:51pm - I shouldn't have to. (I beg your pardon??) He should know. (Husband should know exactly what The Ex wants and expects of him at all times, about everything, ever. I am honestly not surprised they divorced.) But of course he wouldn't do if his life depended on it unless it was something for him. (Alright, there's a few things I want to address here. The first is that I don't know what "he wouldn't do if his life" means; I feel like she's missing 2-3 words here. The second thing is that if Husband's life depended on something, then of course Husband would act on that particular thing. What an asinine thing to say; it's his life so of course it involves him and of course he'd do something about it. And finally, I will give one million dollars to the first person who can explain to me why this is an appropriate thing to say to a 12-year-old child about her father.) Thanks for reminding me honey. (Because you're 20 years younger than I am but have a better grip on life and reality than I do) I'll text him.
Daughter - 7:51pm - Ok you should do ot now
The Ex - 7:53pm - This is what I sent to both your dad and [Son](Why did she send it to Son?)
The Ex - 7:53pm - Fwd:[Husband] (And the message followed but I don't feel like typing all of it again)
This continued for a bit; Daughter telling The Ex that Husband hadn't looked at his phone yet, The Ex saying she had sent it to three people (Even though she really only should have sent it to one person), etc.
Looked at Son's texts later. The Ex sent him the same canned message asking how he was, then sent him the same message about the note for the coach at the same time she sent it to Husband; she forwarded it to Daughter afterwards. Son replied and asked her why she sent Husband's message to him (See? Even your child thinks you're an idiot.)
Husband sent The Ex an email that acknowledged receiving the text message, thanked her for letting him know, updated her on Son's concussion, and told her if she was going to continue to violate the order about using the kids to communicate and not replying to emails within 48 hours, he'd have no choice but to file and ask the court to again find her in contempt. Note the use of the word "again" - she was found in contempt in May. I'm absolutely positive that this will not be the last time she violates the order and I'll be happy to bring a motion against her, particularly when we have evidence proving what a complete and utter douchebag she is.
Son shakes his head and says, "Her email doesn't work." (Oh my dear heavens, here we go again.) I look at him and ask, "....again?!" Son nods yes; The Ex is supposedly having problems with her email for the millionth time this year. I ask Son, "Why is it that your mom is the only person to always have a problem with her email?" Son shrugs. (The answer would be, "Because my mom is a dumb ass" but then I probably would have told him not to say the word "ass" and it would have been a whole issue.) We tell the kids that we are not yelling at them, but it is not their job to communicate for The Ex. The Ex is a grown up, Husband is a grown up; they are the parents and it is their job to talk. It is not Son and Daughter's job to say, "Hey, Mom/Dad wanted you to know..." (Additionally, it's been written in the court order for the last 4 effing years. The kids are human beings, not your little minions. Grow a pair and talk to Husband like an adult.) Husband tells the kids that if The Ex's email "isn't working" then she needs to either get it working or get a new email address; he says that email is how they are supposed to communicate and The Ex knows that.
Miraculously, Husband got a text message from The Ex less than 2 hours after this:
"[Husband] (Why would she address Husband by his first name in a text message? Who else is going to get Husband's text message on Husband's phone? Buuuut, that will be covered shortly.)
Can you please have [Son] bring that form home (Husband told her that a signed note was required; he never once used the word "form." From that point forward, The Ex has somehow been under the impression that the school has a "form" which we need to get a copy of, fill out, sign and return to the school. I don't know where she comes up with this.) so you can fill it out and sign it for the football game this Friday. (Is this a question? Her use of a period indicates it's a statement, not a question.) Thanks, [The Ex](Again, why would she sign her own name in a text message? Who else is going to text Husband from The Ex's phone and ask him to sign a form "for the football game"?)"
Then it all came together last night. Daughter tells me that The Ex forwarded to both her AND Son the text she sent to Husband. (Because it's somehow their job to take care of transportation) I ask Daughter why The Ex would have sent her and Son a text that was meant for Husband; Daughter says she doesn't know. I later look at Daughter's phone and find this:
10/06/2014
The Ex - 7:21pm - Hey sweetie! How are you?
Daughter - 7:47pm - Good did u tell dad to give a note to coach (Daughter is now worried about The Ex not following up. Do we see a pattern here?)
The Ex - 7:51pm - I shouldn't have to. (I beg your pardon??) He should know. (Husband should know exactly what The Ex wants and expects of him at all times, about everything, ever. I am honestly not surprised they divorced.) But of course he wouldn't do if his life depended on it unless it was something for him. (Alright, there's a few things I want to address here. The first is that I don't know what "he wouldn't do if his life" means; I feel like she's missing 2-3 words here. The second thing is that if Husband's life depended on something, then of course Husband would act on that particular thing. What an asinine thing to say; it's his life so of course it involves him and of course he'd do something about it. And finally, I will give one million dollars to the first person who can explain to me why this is an appropriate thing to say to a 12-year-old child about her father.) Thanks for reminding me honey. (Because you're 20 years younger than I am but have a better grip on life and reality than I do) I'll text him.
Daughter - 7:51pm - Ok you should do ot now
The Ex - 7:53pm - This is what I sent to both your dad and [Son](Why did she send it to Son?)
The Ex - 7:53pm - Fwd:[Husband] (And the message followed but I don't feel like typing all of it again)
This continued for a bit; Daughter telling The Ex that Husband hadn't looked at his phone yet, The Ex saying she had sent it to three people (Even though she really only should have sent it to one person), etc.
Looked at Son's texts later. The Ex sent him the same canned message asking how he was, then sent him the same message about the note for the coach at the same time she sent it to Husband; she forwarded it to Daughter afterwards. Son replied and asked her why she sent Husband's message to him (See? Even your child thinks you're an idiot.)
Husband sent The Ex an email that acknowledged receiving the text message, thanked her for letting him know, updated her on Son's concussion, and told her if she was going to continue to violate the order about using the kids to communicate and not replying to emails within 48 hours, he'd have no choice but to file and ask the court to again find her in contempt. Note the use of the word "again" - she was found in contempt in May. I'm absolutely positive that this will not be the last time she violates the order and I'll be happy to bring a motion against her, particularly when we have evidence proving what a complete and utter douchebag she is.
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