Why does it have to come to this?
Husband emailed The Ex last Monday about the two Group activities for Daughter. No answer.
Husband emailed The Ex last Friday; attached a receipt for Group, attached a copy of a bill for Son's stitches from 11 months ago that The Ex has not made any payments on, asked again about Group activities for Daughter, and asked again about The Ex getting health insurance. No answer.
Husband typed up a physical letter and mailed it to The Ex, also sending copies to the court and to Attorney 4. Husband reminded The Ex that she agreed to check text messages and emails on a daily basis, that she would acknowledge the messages in 24 hours and reply in 48 hours. Husband said that since this had been written into the order, The Ex had violated this almost two dozen times. Husband pointed out that this month alone, he had sent The Ex six emails about Son and Daughter; she replied once and it was five days after Husband emailed her, not in 48 hours. Husband also brought up that The Ex was forwarding messages to both of the kids that she had sent him and was using the kids to communicate with him rather than doing it herself. Husband said that if The Ex was going to continue to act like this, he'd have no choice but to file and ask the court to again find her in contempt for not following the order.
The court got the letter yesterday and the online records indicated that they mailed it to the judge (By the way, our judge is an absolute godsend. We had a small hearing about some fees the other day; he asked Husband how "everything else was going." He is beyond nice and I think he actually cares about the people he deals with every day. I have never been this happy with a court official.) Since the court got it, I assumed that would mean The Ex and Attorney 4 got the letter that day also.
Guess who emailed Husband yesterday??
"[Husband],
I talked to both [Son and Daughter] about this coming Sunday, October 26th. Neither one of them want you to pick them up early for [Daughter's Group]. (Actually, The Ex told Son that they could switch weekends OR Husband would have to pick them up "really early." Son said he didn't want to get up early. The reality is that Husband would have needed to pick the kids up around 8:45-9am, which I don't consider to be "really early" but whatever. I love how she words this to sound like the kids don't want Husband picking them up early because they want to spend time with her, when in reality they just don't want to wake up early on a Sunday morning.) Since we have decided to change the date for [The Ex & Boyfriend's son's] birthday party, I am willing to change weekends. (That's why Husband emailed you first 9 days and then 5 days ago, to see if that's what you wanted to do. You ignored Husband until 2 days before you were supposed to pick up Son and Daughter, and now suddenly you want to switch weekends? OMG...) Please let me know if you wanted to keep the kids this weekend and If (Yes, "if" was capitalized in the middle of the sentence.) we do exchange weekends doesn't that mean for the next 2 weekends I would have them? I'm pretty sure that is how it'll work. (I'm pretty sure you're an idiot. No, scratch that; you are an idiot. Also, what if we made childless plans this weekend because she had said that she was taking Son and Daughter? You told me almost two weeks ago that you weren't "able to exchange that weekend" and now decide that you CAN "exchange that weekend." Fortunately for her, it does work out better if we keep them this weekend anyway, but guess what? Someday it won't, and I'm positive that - you guessed it - it will be all my Husband's fault.)
About insurance through work, the kids and I should be covered by the first of the year. (I care if Son and Daughter are covered. I have zero interest in the status of your personal health coverage.) The lady in the office has things messed up with both my medical and dental insurance. (Interesting. Husband has been asking her since September about coverage; now suddenly, she's eligible but someone else has it "messed up"? Why didn't she say that last month?)
I'm sorry about not paying for [Sons] stiches (This was not spelled incorrectly when Husband emailed her. Then again, this comes from the same woman who constantly writes "were" instead of "where" so I guess we're lucky she came this close to spelling "stitches" the right way.) I completely forgot about it. (Yeah, me too. I frequently things too. I mean, it's not like Son has a visible scar on his right jawline because he needed stitches; not like there's a visual reminder or anything.) I'm hoping to make a payment in 2 weeks. (Fine, whatever. Just pay something on it.) Money has been very tight these last few weeks (Why would Husband care about this?) and it doesn't look like it'll be getting any better for a while. (No, seriously - why would Husband care about this?!) I'm trying my best to give you money I owe you on a consistent basis so I won't get too far behind. (She owes him less than $65; $23 of that being Daughter's school pictures which I will not be giving to her unless they are paid for. All of that being said, The Ex still has two car payments. Boo hoo, money is soooo tight right now.)
For [Daughter's] tuition, I am hoping to pay my balance in full after I do my taxes. I just want you to know that also. (To the day, Husband emailed her about Daughter's tuition exactly two months before she said this. The Ex is just now addressing this two months after it was mentioned one time. However, she was asked twice last week what she would like to do about getting the kids after Daughter's sleepover; we still have no answer for that. Maybe we can expect an answer in December.)
Please let me know about this weekend. I'm sorry for the change. (How can she say "Please let me know," indicating that it's still up to Husband if he's okay with switching, only to apologize for the change that Husband hasn't even agreed to?)
[The Ex]"
Husband emailed back and said thanks for letting him know about this-that-and-everything-else, we'll keep the kids and she'll get them the next two weekends. He also said he was still waiting to hear what she wanted to do about picking up the kids after Daughter's Group sleepover next week and if Thursday night would work for her instead.
I really feel that the saddest part in all of this is that a fully-grown adult mother of four has to be threatened with court action just to get a response out of her about her two oldest children and things going on in their lives. I have no idea how anyone can be so disconnected from their own child, how they can be so uninvolved, how they can care so little about what does or doesn't happen. It just astounds me.
Husband emailed The Ex last Friday; attached a receipt for Group, attached a copy of a bill for Son's stitches from 11 months ago that The Ex has not made any payments on, asked again about Group activities for Daughter, and asked again about The Ex getting health insurance. No answer.
Husband typed up a physical letter and mailed it to The Ex, also sending copies to the court and to Attorney 4. Husband reminded The Ex that she agreed to check text messages and emails on a daily basis, that she would acknowledge the messages in 24 hours and reply in 48 hours. Husband said that since this had been written into the order, The Ex had violated this almost two dozen times. Husband pointed out that this month alone, he had sent The Ex six emails about Son and Daughter; she replied once and it was five days after Husband emailed her, not in 48 hours. Husband also brought up that The Ex was forwarding messages to both of the kids that she had sent him and was using the kids to communicate with him rather than doing it herself. Husband said that if The Ex was going to continue to act like this, he'd have no choice but to file and ask the court to again find her in contempt for not following the order.
The court got the letter yesterday and the online records indicated that they mailed it to the judge (By the way, our judge is an absolute godsend. We had a small hearing about some fees the other day; he asked Husband how "everything else was going." He is beyond nice and I think he actually cares about the people he deals with every day. I have never been this happy with a court official.) Since the court got it, I assumed that would mean The Ex and Attorney 4 got the letter that day also.
Guess who emailed Husband yesterday??
"[Husband],
I talked to both [Son and Daughter] about this coming Sunday, October 26th. Neither one of them want you to pick them up early for [Daughter's Group]. (Actually, The Ex told Son that they could switch weekends OR Husband would have to pick them up "really early." Son said he didn't want to get up early. The reality is that Husband would have needed to pick the kids up around 8:45-9am, which I don't consider to be "really early" but whatever. I love how she words this to sound like the kids don't want Husband picking them up early because they want to spend time with her, when in reality they just don't want to wake up early on a Sunday morning.) Since we have decided to change the date for [The Ex & Boyfriend's son's] birthday party, I am willing to change weekends. (That's why Husband emailed you first 9 days and then 5 days ago, to see if that's what you wanted to do. You ignored Husband until 2 days before you were supposed to pick up Son and Daughter, and now suddenly you want to switch weekends? OMG...) Please let me know if you wanted to keep the kids this weekend and If (Yes, "if" was capitalized in the middle of the sentence.) we do exchange weekends doesn't that mean for the next 2 weekends I would have them? I'm pretty sure that is how it'll work. (I'm pretty sure you're an idiot. No, scratch that; you are an idiot. Also, what if we made childless plans this weekend because she had said that she was taking Son and Daughter? You told me almost two weeks ago that you weren't "able to exchange that weekend" and now decide that you CAN "exchange that weekend." Fortunately for her, it does work out better if we keep them this weekend anyway, but guess what? Someday it won't, and I'm positive that - you guessed it - it will be all my Husband's fault.)
About insurance through work, the kids and I should be covered by the first of the year. (I care if Son and Daughter are covered. I have zero interest in the status of your personal health coverage.) The lady in the office has things messed up with both my medical and dental insurance. (Interesting. Husband has been asking her since September about coverage; now suddenly, she's eligible but someone else has it "messed up"? Why didn't she say that last month?)
I'm sorry about not paying for [Sons] stiches (This was not spelled incorrectly when Husband emailed her. Then again, this comes from the same woman who constantly writes "were" instead of "where" so I guess we're lucky she came this close to spelling "stitches" the right way.) I completely forgot about it. (Yeah, me too. I frequently things too. I mean, it's not like Son has a visible scar on his right jawline because he needed stitches; not like there's a visual reminder or anything.) I'm hoping to make a payment in 2 weeks. (Fine, whatever. Just pay something on it.) Money has been very tight these last few weeks (Why would Husband care about this?) and it doesn't look like it'll be getting any better for a while. (No, seriously - why would Husband care about this?!) I'm trying my best to give you money I owe you on a consistent basis so I won't get too far behind. (She owes him less than $65; $23 of that being Daughter's school pictures which I will not be giving to her unless they are paid for. All of that being said, The Ex still has two car payments. Boo hoo, money is soooo tight right now.)
For [Daughter's] tuition, I am hoping to pay my balance in full after I do my taxes. I just want you to know that also. (To the day, Husband emailed her about Daughter's tuition exactly two months before she said this. The Ex is just now addressing this two months after it was mentioned one time. However, she was asked twice last week what she would like to do about getting the kids after Daughter's sleepover; we still have no answer for that. Maybe we can expect an answer in December.)
Please let me know about this weekend. I'm sorry for the change. (How can she say "Please let me know," indicating that it's still up to Husband if he's okay with switching, only to apologize for the change that Husband hasn't even agreed to?)
[The Ex]"
Husband emailed back and said thanks for letting him know about this-that-and-everything-else, we'll keep the kids and she'll get them the next two weekends. He also said he was still waiting to hear what she wanted to do about picking up the kids after Daughter's Group sleepover next week and if Thursday night would work for her instead.
I really feel that the saddest part in all of this is that a fully-grown adult mother of four has to be threatened with court action just to get a response out of her about her two oldest children and things going on in their lives. I have no idea how anyone can be so disconnected from their own child, how they can be so uninvolved, how they can care so little about what does or doesn't happen. It just astounds me.
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