Now she's messaging me instead of Husband
The Ex sent a message on Thursday:
"I just wanted to update with you about my insurance. ("Update with you." Not "update you" or "give you an update." I don't know, I think it's weird.) HR has corrected the errors on the policy. (Oh, would this be the policy that you repeatedly told me and/or Husband "like a little child" was not your policy? Except that now it is your policy and there were "errors" on it?) She doesn't know if I will have another insurance card or not. (You probably will because none of your dependents were listed on the copy that you gave to Husband, which should have been a good sign to you that you had none of the kids signed up on what was "not your policy.")
About getting [Son] coverage. (Sig. H.) I have to fax a copy of his birth certificate as soon as possible. (She literally said this exact same thing forty-two days ago. It's still not done?!) Once they receive it, I need to call back within 24 to 48 hours when they receive it; so we can get an appeal going. (This sentence is horrible, plain and simple. Also, there is no "we" because this is not Husband's responsibility. You screwed up your coverage and it's your job to fix it.) The sooner the better the lady recommends. (Yeah, that's typically what "as soon as possible" means.)"
Husband replied and said thanks for letting him know, asked when she'd be submitting the birth certificate and how long the appeal would take.
Seven hours and forty-four minutes later:
"I have told you before, I don't have a birth certificate for [Son]. (Then why haven't you gotten one? You've known since at least December that you needed one. Why, in February, do you still not have a copy?) [Husband] will have to get a hold of [Husband's mom] and c if she'll go get one for us. (The Ex is now addressing me instead of Husband. She also thinks that Husband's mom should go get a copy of Son's birth certificate because she lives in that area.) Not sure what you'll need to get it, (Again, she's known since December that she needed a copy but she doesn't know what she needs to get one? I would have to assume this means that The Ex hasn't even bothered trying. But of course, Son isn't covered under her policy because of Husband's "lack of trust.") but it has to have my name on it too. (As one of my friends so eloquently questioned: "Do other states not list the birth mother [on the birth certificate]?" Absolutely hilarious.) If [Husband] won't ask her for this favor, please give me her phone number and I'll ask her myself. (The Ex hasn't talked to Husband's mom in 9-10 years, but she's going to call her up and ask for a favor? Awesome.)"
Husband replied that his mom can't get a copy of the birth certificate because she's not one of the parents; his and The Ex's names are on the birth certificate so one of them would have to request it. The Ex read this and didn't reply.
Just to play the devil's advocate, I later Googled what the law was about getting copies of birth certificates in that particular state. One website says grandparents can get a copy; the website for the county that Son was born in says grandparents cannot get a copy. Husband's mom also remarried almost 30 years ago, so neither her current last name nor her maiden name will match Husband's and Son's last name, and it certainly won't match The Ex's maiden name. There is literally no proof that Husband's mom is any relation to Son, so why would the state give her a copy?
By the way, who's going to pay for this? The Ex didn't say, "I'll send her a check to get the birth certificate." What The Ex said was that if Husband wouldn't ask his mom "for this favor," then she would call and ask his mom. I'm pretty sure that The Ex just expects Husband's mom to pay for the birth certificate out of her own pocket and mail it to either us or The Ex with a smile on her face. Considering that Son got stitches in 2013 and The Ex still has not paid for her half of those, I'm pretty sure that reimbursement will occur sometime close to never.
All of that aside, the primary problem Husband and I have with asking his mom to take any part in this is very simply explained: it's not her damn responsibility.
"I just wanted to update with you about my insurance. ("Update with you." Not "update you" or "give you an update." I don't know, I think it's weird.) HR has corrected the errors on the policy. (Oh, would this be the policy that you repeatedly told me and/or Husband "like a little child" was not your policy? Except that now it is your policy and there were "errors" on it?) She doesn't know if I will have another insurance card or not. (You probably will because none of your dependents were listed on the copy that you gave to Husband, which should have been a good sign to you that you had none of the kids signed up on what was "not your policy.")
About getting [Son] coverage. (Sig. H.) I have to fax a copy of his birth certificate as soon as possible. (She literally said this exact same thing forty-two days ago. It's still not done?!) Once they receive it, I need to call back within 24 to 48 hours when they receive it; so we can get an appeal going. (This sentence is horrible, plain and simple. Also, there is no "we" because this is not Husband's responsibility. You screwed up your coverage and it's your job to fix it.) The sooner the better the lady recommends. (Yeah, that's typically what "as soon as possible" means.)"
Husband replied and said thanks for letting him know, asked when she'd be submitting the birth certificate and how long the appeal would take.
Seven hours and forty-four minutes later:
"I have told you before, I don't have a birth certificate for [Son]. (Then why haven't you gotten one? You've known since at least December that you needed one. Why, in February, do you still not have a copy?) [Husband] will have to get a hold of [Husband's mom] and c if she'll go get one for us. (The Ex is now addressing me instead of Husband. She also thinks that Husband's mom should go get a copy of Son's birth certificate because she lives in that area.) Not sure what you'll need to get it, (Again, she's known since December that she needed a copy but she doesn't know what she needs to get one? I would have to assume this means that The Ex hasn't even bothered trying. But of course, Son isn't covered under her policy because of Husband's "lack of trust.") but it has to have my name on it too. (As one of my friends so eloquently questioned: "Do other states not list the birth mother [on the birth certificate]?" Absolutely hilarious.) If [Husband] won't ask her for this favor, please give me her phone number and I'll ask her myself. (The Ex hasn't talked to Husband's mom in 9-10 years, but she's going to call her up and ask for a favor? Awesome.)"
Husband replied that his mom can't get a copy of the birth certificate because she's not one of the parents; his and The Ex's names are on the birth certificate so one of them would have to request it. The Ex read this and didn't reply.
Just to play the devil's advocate, I later Googled what the law was about getting copies of birth certificates in that particular state. One website says grandparents can get a copy; the website for the county that Son was born in says grandparents cannot get a copy. Husband's mom also remarried almost 30 years ago, so neither her current last name nor her maiden name will match Husband's and Son's last name, and it certainly won't match The Ex's maiden name. There is literally no proof that Husband's mom is any relation to Son, so why would the state give her a copy?
By the way, who's going to pay for this? The Ex didn't say, "I'll send her a check to get the birth certificate." What The Ex said was that if Husband wouldn't ask his mom "for this favor," then she would call and ask his mom. I'm pretty sure that The Ex just expects Husband's mom to pay for the birth certificate out of her own pocket and mail it to either us or The Ex with a smile on her face. Considering that Son got stitches in 2013 and The Ex still has not paid for her half of those, I'm pretty sure that reimbursement will occur sometime close to never.
All of that aside, the primary problem Husband and I have with asking his mom to take any part in this is very simply explained: it's not her damn responsibility.
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