The silence is broken
I don't think that Husband has needed to have any contact with The Ex since the stipulation ordeal, when she mailed it back late then tried to get out of following the terms by saying she hadn't received a signed copy yet. Other than that, no fighting or arguing - no contact at all.
This week is Husband's second summer week and Son's school year schedule starts next week, so Son is going to be here full-time from this week forward. Son called me at almost 10pm on Saturday and asked to talk to Husband. I said I wasn't sure where he was. Son asked what we were doing this week; I told him we had some plans. Son asked if he could stay with The Ex; I told him no. He asked why; I asked if there was something going on. He said yes. I told him that if there was something going on that The Ex wanted to keep him for, then she needed to be the one talking to Husband about it. Son said okay, we hung up.
Shortly after, Husband checked his phone and found a missed call from Son. He texted Son asking if he needed something. Son replied and asked if he could stay with The Ex. Husband told Son that The Ex needed to talk to him about it, not Son. Son said okay, and then later texted asking if The Ex could call Husband tomorrow. (Husband did not respond to this because a)Son was still the one communicating and b)we've already made it astoundingly clear that communication will be done in writing.)
The next morning, The Ex calls Husband twice in a row and left this at 11:19am:
"Hey [Husband], it's me [The Ex]. I was calling 'cause [Son] would like to stay for the week, if it is okay with you. Um...I guess you need to let me know. I know [Daughter] said she's going to the- (Right here she sneezed and then said,"Excuse me" to nothing in particular) -um, she's going to the [event] with you guys, (Actually, we were going to take our entire family to this event so if you could stop pretending you know what our plans are, that would be great) so...she's like, 'I only wanna go, and...for Thursday' (This is exactly what she said. "I only wanna go and for Thursday.") But, I figure if she's gonna go, she might as well stay the week with you. (Um, this is Husband's second summer week that he informed you about on April 20th. There is no, "If you're going to an event, then I figure she'll stay with you." Regardless if we do or do not go to the event, Son and Daughter WILL stay with us because that is OUR time with them.) Completely up to you. (When she says "Completely up to you," she actually means, "You should do exactly what I want.") I guess I need to know by 2:30 at the latest...what's going on. So, I guess I'll send you a text. Um...not around any computers (She said this because she doesn't want to use 2houses, because she's been ignoring 2 messages from Husband; the issue is that she has a smartphone so her "not around any computers" isn't a valid excuse. I told Husband he should text her and say he can't call her because he's not around any landlines. That's about how much logic she's using right now.) and I didn't want to call after 10 last night, because that's when [Son] said he tried to talk to you and you wanted to talk to me. (Husband never once said, "I want to talk to your mom." He said that The Ex needed to be the one to discuss placement changes. Way to go, narcissism.) So...I will text. Thank you. (...what?)"
Eight minutes later, a text message:
"I just left a voice mail. You didn't answer my 2 phone calls. (Why is it necessary to write this? If he had answered, how or why would you have left a message?) [Son] would like to stay with me for this week. I'm planning on leaving here by 2:30 to head over your way. If it's ok, please let me know before hand. Thanks!"
A few minutes later, Son texted Husband and asked what The Ex said; again, Husband will not discuss this with Son because it's not his responsibility. When Husband finally read the texts, he replied to The Ex and asks if there's a reason she hasn't replied to his last two messages about a schedule change and reminds her they agreed to reply in 48 hours. (The messages were 3 and 9 days old - both well past the 48 hour response time.)
Fifteen minutes later, another text message:
"Our son has tried talking to you about staying with me for the week. (Again, that is not Son's responsibility.) You haven't replied to Niether (Omfg, just...NO.) of our calls or messages. (Husband did reply. He told Son that The Ex needed to talk to him about it. And if Husband "hasn't replied to Niether" of your messages, maybe you should realize that the answer is a resounding "no.") As for that weekend (She's now referring to the messages that she's been ignoring.) I will let you know within a few days. I've already said no a few times. (Actually, you repeatedly said that Husband needed to give you more time to answer. You never said "no," much less gave an answer of any kind which is why Husband keeps asking.)
Fifty-seven minutes later on 2houses:
"I like the idea of bringing them earlier on the 13th and having them an extra day. I agree" (But you guys, SHE HAS ALREADY SAID NO A FEW TIMES. Amazing what can change when you actually pay attention to what's going on.)
Fast forward to exchange time; The Ex is 20 minutes late and is accompanied by her new-new boyfriend. (We'll talk about him shortly) In fact, they came down in his vehicle. Son and Daughter get out of the car, and The Ex gets out with them. (Here we go... *eye roll* She NEVER gets out of the car, so we knew this was going to be a thing. I was admittedly entertained by this because I knew that The Ex would behave herself in front of the new-new boyfriend and not act like her crazy ranting self.) The Ex makes a comment about Husband listening to his voice mail, says Son wants to stay with her. Husband says no. Son whines, "Whyyy?" (Son loves being at The Ex's house because there are no rules and no consequences if you don't listen to The Ex. Teenagers love being able to do whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want. This is why the TV show "16 & Pregnant" exists, because of parents like The Ex.) The Ex says that Son wants to stay; Husband says he can't. (That's funny; I thought she already said it was completely up to Husband and if he agreed then he needed to let her know beforehand. Now she's in our front yard and just keeps asking the same question over and over and over again.) The Ex realizes that we do not care if or how much Son whines because unlike her, we are parents who do what is best for their child instead of catering to them, so she changes the subject.
The Ex asks about next Monday when she comes to pick up; she asks why the calendar says only Daughter is going back with her. (The schedule has shown this for almost a month. It's like she literally pays attention to nothing involving her own children and then gets really confused when something happens.) Husband says because school is starting. The Ex asks if Son is coming back with her. Husband says yes, Son will come back for the weekend. The Ex says, "...[Daughter] is spending the whole week?" Husband says yes because they start school at different times. The Ex says, "Well, right. But he wanted to come back." Husband says yes, Son will go back - for the weekend. The Ex says, "But not for the week, with [Daughter]?" (I am so exhausted just reliving this conversation. It's like she ENJOYS being completely brain dead.) Husband said no. The Ex then says, ".....well, he's more than welcome to come with [Daughter]." (Oh, GOOD. I am so glad that you announced your son is welcome at your home. Thanks for clarifying, I was super confused. Seriously, who even says that? Oh wait, this is her way of saying to Son, "I totally want to have you and your dad won't let me" even though she would lose her damn mind if we just announced during the summertime that we wanted to keep the kids during HER week.)
And with that, she left. We expected Son to have a bad attitude but he was surprisingly pleasant. We all had a great night, so yay for that!
This week is Husband's second summer week and Son's school year schedule starts next week, so Son is going to be here full-time from this week forward. Son called me at almost 10pm on Saturday and asked to talk to Husband. I said I wasn't sure where he was. Son asked what we were doing this week; I told him we had some plans. Son asked if he could stay with The Ex; I told him no. He asked why; I asked if there was something going on. He said yes. I told him that if there was something going on that The Ex wanted to keep him for, then she needed to be the one talking to Husband about it. Son said okay, we hung up.
Shortly after, Husband checked his phone and found a missed call from Son. He texted Son asking if he needed something. Son replied and asked if he could stay with The Ex. Husband told Son that The Ex needed to talk to him about it, not Son. Son said okay, and then later texted asking if The Ex could call Husband tomorrow. (Husband did not respond to this because a)Son was still the one communicating and b)we've already made it astoundingly clear that communication will be done in writing.)
The next morning, The Ex calls Husband twice in a row and left this at 11:19am:
"Hey [Husband], it's me [The Ex]. I was calling 'cause [Son] would like to stay for the week, if it is okay with you. Um...I guess you need to let me know. I know [Daughter] said she's going to the- (Right here she sneezed and then said,"Excuse me" to nothing in particular) -um, she's going to the [event] with you guys, (Actually, we were going to take our entire family to this event so if you could stop pretending you know what our plans are, that would be great) so...she's like, 'I only wanna go, and...for Thursday' (This is exactly what she said. "I only wanna go and for Thursday.") But, I figure if she's gonna go, she might as well stay the week with you. (Um, this is Husband's second summer week that he informed you about on April 20th. There is no, "If you're going to an event, then I figure she'll stay with you." Regardless if we do or do not go to the event, Son and Daughter WILL stay with us because that is OUR time with them.) Completely up to you. (When she says "Completely up to you," she actually means, "You should do exactly what I want.") I guess I need to know by 2:30 at the latest...what's going on. So, I guess I'll send you a text. Um...not around any computers (She said this because she doesn't want to use 2houses, because she's been ignoring 2 messages from Husband; the issue is that she has a smartphone so her "not around any computers" isn't a valid excuse. I told Husband he should text her and say he can't call her because he's not around any landlines. That's about how much logic she's using right now.) and I didn't want to call after 10 last night, because that's when [Son] said he tried to talk to you and you wanted to talk to me. (Husband never once said, "I want to talk to your mom." He said that The Ex needed to be the one to discuss placement changes. Way to go, narcissism.) So...I will text. Thank you. (...what?)"
Eight minutes later, a text message:
"I just left a voice mail. You didn't answer my 2 phone calls. (Why is it necessary to write this? If he had answered, how or why would you have left a message?) [Son] would like to stay with me for this week. I'm planning on leaving here by 2:30 to head over your way. If it's ok, please let me know before hand. Thanks!"
A few minutes later, Son texted Husband and asked what The Ex said; again, Husband will not discuss this with Son because it's not his responsibility. When Husband finally read the texts, he replied to The Ex and asks if there's a reason she hasn't replied to his last two messages about a schedule change and reminds her they agreed to reply in 48 hours. (The messages were 3 and 9 days old - both well past the 48 hour response time.)
Fifteen minutes later, another text message:
"Our son has tried talking to you about staying with me for the week. (Again, that is not Son's responsibility.) You haven't replied to Niether (Omfg, just...NO.) of our calls or messages. (Husband did reply. He told Son that The Ex needed to talk to him about it. And if Husband "hasn't replied to Niether" of your messages, maybe you should realize that the answer is a resounding "no.") As for that weekend (She's now referring to the messages that she's been ignoring.) I will let you know within a few days. I've already said no a few times. (Actually, you repeatedly said that Husband needed to give you more time to answer. You never said "no," much less gave an answer of any kind which is why Husband keeps asking.)
Fifty-seven minutes later on 2houses:
"I like the idea of bringing them earlier on the 13th and having them an extra day. I agree" (But you guys, SHE HAS ALREADY SAID NO A FEW TIMES. Amazing what can change when you actually pay attention to what's going on.)
Fast forward to exchange time; The Ex is 20 minutes late and is accompanied by her new-new boyfriend. (We'll talk about him shortly) In fact, they came down in his vehicle. Son and Daughter get out of the car, and The Ex gets out with them. (Here we go... *eye roll* She NEVER gets out of the car, so we knew this was going to be a thing. I was admittedly entertained by this because I knew that The Ex would behave herself in front of the new-new boyfriend and not act like her crazy ranting self.) The Ex makes a comment about Husband listening to his voice mail, says Son wants to stay with her. Husband says no. Son whines, "Whyyy?" (Son loves being at The Ex's house because there are no rules and no consequences if you don't listen to The Ex. Teenagers love being able to do whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want. This is why the TV show "16 & Pregnant" exists, because of parents like The Ex.) The Ex says that Son wants to stay; Husband says he can't. (That's funny; I thought she already said it was completely up to Husband and if he agreed then he needed to let her know beforehand. Now she's in our front yard and just keeps asking the same question over and over and over again.) The Ex realizes that we do not care if or how much Son whines because unlike her, we are parents who do what is best for their child instead of catering to them, so she changes the subject.
The Ex asks about next Monday when she comes to pick up; she asks why the calendar says only Daughter is going back with her. (The schedule has shown this for almost a month. It's like she literally pays attention to nothing involving her own children and then gets really confused when something happens.) Husband says because school is starting. The Ex asks if Son is coming back with her. Husband says yes, Son will come back for the weekend. The Ex says, "...[Daughter] is spending the whole week?" Husband says yes because they start school at different times. The Ex says, "Well, right. But he wanted to come back." Husband says yes, Son will go back - for the weekend. The Ex says, "But not for the week, with [Daughter]?" (I am so exhausted just reliving this conversation. It's like she ENJOYS being completely brain dead.) Husband said no. The Ex then says, ".....well, he's more than welcome to come with [Daughter]." (Oh, GOOD. I am so glad that you announced your son is welcome at your home. Thanks for clarifying, I was super confused. Seriously, who even says that? Oh wait, this is her way of saying to Son, "I totally want to have you and your dad won't let me" even though she would lose her damn mind if we just announced during the summertime that we wanted to keep the kids during HER week.)
And with that, she left. We expected Son to have a bad attitude but he was surprisingly pleasant. We all had a great night, so yay for that!
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