Screw up your life, blame someone else, repeat.
It's been said that the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.
The Ex and Ned are now living together.
Some of you might be saying, "Well, they're both consenting adults and are free to do whatever they choose." And you're right - you're entirely, inarguably right. But I have an issue with this because this is the exact same thing that The Ex has done not only with Husband but with Boyfriend as well. I'm going to give you a timeline so you can understand this a little bit better.
1999
The Ex and Husband are dating for a few months when they find out The Ex is pregnant with Son. They get married.
2000
Son is born in the state that The Ex and Husband were living in at that time.
The Ex decides that she wants to spend Christmas with her parents. Son spends his first Christmas with The Ex and her parents, not together with both of his parents who were married.
2000-2002
The Ex and Husband break up and make up repeatedly. During a "good" spell, they decide to try and have another baby.
2002
The Ex files for divorce while she is 9 months pregnant with Daughter.
When Daughter is born, The Ex and Husband decide to get back together and try to make it work for their family.
2003
During another of their break-ups, The Ex is arrested at Husband's workplace and later convicted of disorderly conduct.
2002-2004
The Ex and Husband continue to break up and make up. The Ex does things like remove Husband's house key from his key ring while he is sleeping, then calls him at work and tells him what she did and that he shouldn't bother coming home because he will be locked out.
2004
The Ex files for divorce a second time. At some point they reconcile and the divorce action is dismissed. They later break up again.
2005
The Ex files for divorce a third time, only seven months after previously filing. The Ex repeatedly tells Husband during the divorce proceedings that she wants to get back together, that she is sorry, that she didn't mean any of this, that she wants to work it out for the kids; Husband tells her he is finished with the games and does not want to be married to her any longer.
2006
The Ex tells Husband that she has broken up with her boyfriend whom she has been dating for two months and asked him to move out; she says he lived with her for about a week or two.
A few months later, The Ex tells Husband that she's been dating someone new for about three weeks and now she and the kids might be moving in with him. The Ex later says this guy isn't returning her messages.
2007
The Ex meets and begins dating Boyfriend. A month into their relationship, she leaves Husband a voicemail saying that Boyfriend cares more about and will do more for Son and Daughter than Husband does.
Three to four months into her and Boyfriend's relationship, The Ex said she was going to be moving in with him. This is after months of leaving Son and Daughter with her parents, sisters or brother so that she could go spend time alone with Boyfriend.
Within a month of moving, the kids said that The Ex told them that Boyfriend was their "stepdad" or their "new daddy."
Two to three months after moving in with Boyfriend, The Ex was pregnant.
2008
The Ex announces that she and Boyfriend are engaged but won't get married until the following year because they "have to wait for his divorce to get finalized."
The Ex and Ned are now living together.
Some of you might be saying, "Well, they're both consenting adults and are free to do whatever they choose." And you're right - you're entirely, inarguably right. But I have an issue with this because this is the exact same thing that The Ex has done not only with Husband but with Boyfriend as well. I'm going to give you a timeline so you can understand this a little bit better.
1999
The Ex and Husband are dating for a few months when they find out The Ex is pregnant with Son. They get married.
2000
Son is born in the state that The Ex and Husband were living in at that time.
The Ex decides that she wants to spend Christmas with her parents. Son spends his first Christmas with The Ex and her parents, not together with both of his parents who were married.
2000-2002
The Ex and Husband break up and make up repeatedly. During a "good" spell, they decide to try and have another baby.
2002
The Ex files for divorce while she is 9 months pregnant with Daughter.
When Daughter is born, The Ex and Husband decide to get back together and try to make it work for their family.
2003
During another of their break-ups, The Ex is arrested at Husband's workplace and later convicted of disorderly conduct.
2002-2004
The Ex and Husband continue to break up and make up. The Ex does things like remove Husband's house key from his key ring while he is sleeping, then calls him at work and tells him what she did and that he shouldn't bother coming home because he will be locked out.
2004
The Ex files for divorce a second time. At some point they reconcile and the divorce action is dismissed. They later break up again.
2005
The Ex files for divorce a third time, only seven months after previously filing. The Ex repeatedly tells Husband during the divorce proceedings that she wants to get back together, that she is sorry, that she didn't mean any of this, that she wants to work it out for the kids; Husband tells her he is finished with the games and does not want to be married to her any longer.
2006
The Ex tells Husband that she has broken up with her boyfriend whom she has been dating for two months and asked him to move out; she says he lived with her for about a week or two.
A few months later, The Ex tells Husband that she's been dating someone new for about three weeks and now she and the kids might be moving in with him. The Ex later says this guy isn't returning her messages.
2007
The Ex meets and begins dating Boyfriend. A month into their relationship, she leaves Husband a voicemail saying that Boyfriend cares more about and will do more for Son and Daughter than Husband does.
Three to four months into her and Boyfriend's relationship, The Ex said she was going to be moving in with him. This is after months of leaving Son and Daughter with her parents, sisters or brother so that she could go spend time alone with Boyfriend.
Within a month of moving, the kids said that The Ex told them that Boyfriend was their "stepdad" or their "new daddy."
Two to three months after moving in with Boyfriend, The Ex was pregnant.
2008
The Ex announces that she and Boyfriend are engaged but won't get married until the following year because they "have to wait for his divorce to get finalized."
The kids began acting out and their grades started declining, particularly with Son. About halfway through this year, the kids began saying they wanted to live with us instead of with The Ex and Boyfriend. During a parent-teacher conference, The Ex actually told Son's teacher she was "sad" because Son always told her that he didn't want to live with her anymore.
The kids tell us that if they tell The Ex they want to live here, she tells them that they can't because no one will take care of them, Husband doesn't know how to treat anybody right and I am crazy.
2009
Cops were called to The Ex and Boyfriend's home because Son ran to the neighbors and told them that Boyfriend was shoving The Ex. The Ex tells the kids not to talk to us about this. We find out what's going on in their home, hire Our Attorney and file for custody.
We are awarded temporary custody of both Son and Daughter; Boyfriend is prohibited from having contact with Son or Daughter.
Someone calls to tell us that Boyfriend spent the night in the apartment. We're not able to prove it but are positive that the kids continued to see Boyfriend during all of this. We are told that the two of them are still getting into physical fights.
Someone else tells us that The Ex's lawyer advised her that marrying Boyfriend would hurt her chances of regaining custody of Son and Daughter. They do not break up but don't get married either.
2010
Boyfriend calls Husband in the middle of the night, says he wants to leave The Ex but she's threatened to take their daughter away from him. Boyfriend says he will testify on our behalf to help us get custody if we will do the same for him. Boyfriend says there have been more physical fights between him and The Ex where nobody called the cops; Boyfriend says during one of these incidents, The Ex was choking him.
We settle in court; kids will stay with us during the school year and with The Ex during the summer, with both parents getting alternating weekend placement. Less than three months later, The Ex and Boyfriend get married without Son or Daughter there. The Ex and Boyfriend are both prohibited from consuming alcohol while the kids are placed with The Ex.
2011
The kids tell us that if they tell The Ex they want to live here, she tells them that they can't because no one will take care of them, Husband doesn't know how to treat anybody right and I am crazy.
2009
Cops were called to The Ex and Boyfriend's home because Son ran to the neighbors and told them that Boyfriend was shoving The Ex. The Ex tells the kids not to talk to us about this. We find out what's going on in their home, hire Our Attorney and file for custody.
We are awarded temporary custody of both Son and Daughter; Boyfriend is prohibited from having contact with Son or Daughter.
Someone calls to tell us that Boyfriend spent the night in the apartment. We're not able to prove it but are positive that the kids continued to see Boyfriend during all of this. We are told that the two of them are still getting into physical fights.
Someone else tells us that The Ex's lawyer advised her that marrying Boyfriend would hurt her chances of regaining custody of Son and Daughter. They do not break up but don't get married either.
Boyfriend calls Husband in the middle of the night, says he wants to leave The Ex but she's threatened to take their daughter away from him. Boyfriend says he will testify on our behalf to help us get custody if we will do the same for him. Boyfriend says there have been more physical fights between him and The Ex where nobody called the cops; Boyfriend says during one of these incidents, The Ex was choking him.
We settle in court; kids will stay with us during the school year and with The Ex during the summer, with both parents getting alternating weekend placement. Less than three months later, The Ex and Boyfriend get married without Son or Daughter there. The Ex and Boyfriend are both prohibited from consuming alcohol while the kids are placed with The Ex.
2011
The Ex gets pregnant again and has another baby, stops working for almost 5 months.
2012
The Ex and Boyfriend buy a trailer home. Within 3 weeks of buying their home, The Ex gets fired for "attendance issues." We are told that The Ex has repeatedly stated that she wanted to get fired purposely so that she could get her child support obligation reduced.
Boyfriend is arrested for felony DUI/OWI and is placed on an immigration hold.
Daughter gets lice for the second time in 3 months while The Ex has placement. The Ex hacks off the back of Daughter's hair with a shaver, then tells Daughter not to tell us that it was her who did it.
Boyfriend gets released from jail but now has a pending immigration case. We withhold placement; The Ex tells the kids that we are trying to keep them away from her to hurt her.
2013
The Ex runs out of unemployment, decides to get a part-time job.
The Ex tells a friend that she hasn't been having sex with Boyfriend because he's been drinking a lot and it makes her upset.
The Ex tells family members that she thinks Boyfriend is stealing their daughter's money.
2014
The Ex finally gets an actual job because the court ordered her to do so. The Ex meets New Guy at this new job. The Ex begins spending time with New Guy and uses Daughter as a "middle man" to send him texts or let him know when Boyfriend has left so that he can call The Ex. The Ex takes her kids to spend time with New Guy, including the kids she shares with Boyfriend.
2015
The Ex picks up Son and Daughter from our house with New Guy and they all go out for dinner. The very next night, they all go out for dinner with Boyfriend. This same weekend, The Ex filled out paperwork for a restraining order against Boyfriend and asked New Guy to hold the papers for her for two weeks.
While Boyfriend is at work, The Ex files the restraining order, cleans out their trailer, and moves herself and her two youngest kids into her parents' trailer. Boyfriend comes home to an empty house and his kids are gone; he calls The Ex who finally responds by telling him he's not allowed to contact her because she filed a restraining order against him.
A month later, The Ex finally tells Husband that she moved.
The Ex continues to see New Guy, whose wife is oblivious to his affair.
The Ex begins seeing Ned while she is still seeing New Guy and still legally married to Boyfriend.
The Ex moves in with Ned and files for divorce from Boyfriend.
What's written here doesn't include the day-to-day uphill battle of having to deal with The Ex; I tried to use this blog post to reflect primarily on her romantic life so that you can understand that she makes very poor choices when it comes to her relationships. I write that using present tense because she continues to make the exact same choices day after day, month after month, year after year. Nothing changes with her, and the saddest part of it is that the only ones suffering are her children.
2012
The Ex and Boyfriend buy a trailer home. Within 3 weeks of buying their home, The Ex gets fired for "attendance issues." We are told that The Ex has repeatedly stated that she wanted to get fired purposely so that she could get her child support obligation reduced.
Boyfriend is arrested for felony DUI/OWI and is placed on an immigration hold.
Daughter gets lice for the second time in 3 months while The Ex has placement. The Ex hacks off the back of Daughter's hair with a shaver, then tells Daughter not to tell us that it was her who did it.
Boyfriend gets released from jail but now has a pending immigration case. We withhold placement; The Ex tells the kids that we are trying to keep them away from her to hurt her.
2013
The Ex runs out of unemployment, decides to get a part-time job.
The Ex tells a friend that she hasn't been having sex with Boyfriend because he's been drinking a lot and it makes her upset.
The Ex tells family members that she thinks Boyfriend is stealing their daughter's money.
2014
The Ex finally gets an actual job because the court ordered her to do so. The Ex meets New Guy at this new job. The Ex begins spending time with New Guy and uses Daughter as a "middle man" to send him texts or let him know when Boyfriend has left so that he can call The Ex. The Ex takes her kids to spend time with New Guy, including the kids she shares with Boyfriend.
2015
The Ex picks up Son and Daughter from our house with New Guy and they all go out for dinner. The very next night, they all go out for dinner with Boyfriend. This same weekend, The Ex filled out paperwork for a restraining order against Boyfriend and asked New Guy to hold the papers for her for two weeks.
While Boyfriend is at work, The Ex files the restraining order, cleans out their trailer, and moves herself and her two youngest kids into her parents' trailer. Boyfriend comes home to an empty house and his kids are gone; he calls The Ex who finally responds by telling him he's not allowed to contact her because she filed a restraining order against him.
A month later, The Ex finally tells Husband that she moved.
The Ex continues to see New Guy, whose wife is oblivious to his affair.
The Ex begins seeing Ned while she is still seeing New Guy and still legally married to Boyfriend.
The Ex moves in with Ned and files for divorce from Boyfriend.
What's written here doesn't include the day-to-day uphill battle of having to deal with The Ex; I tried to use this blog post to reflect primarily on her romantic life so that you can understand that she makes very poor choices when it comes to her relationships. I write that using present tense because she continues to make the exact same choices day after day, month after month, year after year. Nothing changes with her, and the saddest part of it is that the only ones suffering are her children.
Comments
Post a Comment