The tides are slowly beginning to turn.

  I often feel like I want to "expose" The Ex to the kids.  I want to point out everything that she's lied to them about over the years, how she is constantly trying to drive a wedge between them and Husband just to make herself feel better.  But I don't do that for multiple reasons.  The primary reason is that Son and Daughter are still children and don't need that burden placed upon them, especially from both sides of their family.  I love them more than my ego.  If something gets brought up, then we will address it but we don't go out of our way to tell them what really happened, and we most certainly don't bad-mouth their mother.

  The Ex is another story.  For the past decade, her primary objective has been to portray Husband in a negative light.  It doesn't matter what the circumstance is.  If Husband says or does something, The Ex will twist what the events and "show" the kids how he has hurt her.  If Husband does nothing, she will flat-out lie to them.

  Unfortunately for her, The Ex doesn't seem to realize that both Son and Daughter have become young adults; they are no longer small children who lack deductive reasoning or the ability to remember how things actually happened.  The Ex is so caught up in trying to make Husband appear like a terrible person that she doesn't realize that the kids are catching on.  I'm going to lay out some events in a timeline format so you can follow this particular example from beginning to end, and truly grasp just how desperately The Ex wants the kids to hate Husband.

12/28/15

  12:46pm - Husband sends The Ex a message saying that she can have the kids on the weekend of 1/8/16 as she requested.

12/30/15

   8:07am - The Ex replies, thanks Husband and says "they" will be at Daughter's game for placement exchange.

01/04/16

   9:25am - Husband sends The Ex an email saying he was just told that Daughter will be playing her game in City B instead of City A, but we haven't been given an address yet.

01/07/16

   9:06pm - The Ex sends this message to Husband:
"You sent an email on January 4th at 9:25am, stating [Daughters] game was changed to [City B]. (Yeah, we know.  You're replying to it.  We can all see the exact same thing.) You still haven't gotten back to me on the address or the time of her game. (Once again, it's Husband's job to get this information for The Ex.  She's completely incapable of doing it herself.  Despite the fact that she told him on 12/28 that she'd be at the game, now he hasn't "gotten back to her" with the address or time because he is just.  So.  Mean.) I need to notify mom and dad, [The Ex's brother and his fiancee] about this seeing that they are all attending.  Thanks" (She needs to "notify" her family but doesn't pose the question until twenty-one hours before the game starts.  Husband didn't see the message until Friday night, so he wasn't even able to give her any information because she always waits until the last minute for everything and then suddenly we're all supposed to be jumping through hoops for her.)

01/08/16

   3:09pm - The Ex's mom texts Daughter asking her for the address for the game

   3:14pm - Daughter replies that her coach said The Ex already called (Okay, so she has the coach's contact information but still expects Husband to give her all of this information because she doesn't want to ask for it.  Whatever.  She has the address now, that's all that matters.)

   3:22pm - Daughter texts the address to The Ex's mom (Now both The Ex and her mom have the address.)

   5:17pm - Daughter calls The Ex to ask how far she is from the school.  The Ex replies, "I didn't know where you were playing.  Your dad never emailed me." (Daughter already knew that The Ex talked to the coach and got the address.  The Ex is now telling her that she doesn't have the address.)  Daughter says she already sent the address to The Ex's mom almost two hours ago.  The Ex says, "Oh, did you?  I'll have to talk to her about that." (Talk to her about what?  The fact that you just got caught lying to your child and blaming Husband for absolutely NOTHING?) Daughter asks again where The Ex is.  The Ex replies, "Almost there." (There was literally a 30-second span between The Ex saying she didn't know where Daughter's game was and then saying she was almost at the school.  If she didn't know where it was, then how could she have possibly known if she was "almost there"?)

  Moments like this remind me that I'm doing the right thing.  As frustrating as it is, Husband and I will not stoop to her level.  If Son and Daughter want to ask questions or have a discussion, we're more than willing to talk about things but we won't talk bad about The Ex.  The Ex's lies, bitterness and jealousy will do the talking for us.