Brace yourselves.
Extracurricular activities have always been a source of contention for The Ex. Because she is a narcissist who cannot imagine anything existing outside of herself, it's impossible for her to understand and acknowledge that not only do the kids want to participate in things, but that it's beneficial to them. Instead of recognizing the good that these activities do in the kids' lives, The Ex needs to reflect the focus back to herself. Examples:
Cheerleading
Husband asked if Daughter could join cheerleading; The Ex said she wasn't going to help pay for it and weeks later accused Husband of never discussing it with her. The Ex accused us of forcing Daughter to participate and claimed she didn't like participating. The Ex asked if Daughter could miss a performance because she didn't want to wait a few extra hours to pick up the kids. When Daughter was chosen to perform during halftime at an NBA game, she had three mandatory practices - The Ex complained and asked if Daughter could skip the one practice was on her placement weekend (This was the one and only practice that The Ex needed to be involved in and she had a complete fit about it.).
Football
The Ex ignored Husband asking if Son could play football and when practice started months later, she stated Husband never told her about it and that she wasn't going to bring him to practices because she "couldn't afford it." She then called the police stating that Husband was interfering with her placement; when we explained the situation and the police recontacted her, she said she didn't have a problem with Son playing but still thought he should be at her house despite her refusal to facilitate his sport. A few years later, she again alleged that Husband never told her about Son playing football (We finally had gotten smart and had done this by email, so we had proof that she had been notified.) She said Husband & the coach were being "rediculous" by expecting Son to participate as much as the rest of the team because she didn't want to travel to pick up Son after games; she said they needed to consider how "difficult and challenging" this was going to be for her, and that they needed to consider her youngest children's needs.
Baseball
The Ex told the kids they could play baseball in Hometown, argued with Husband over where the kids would play based on what was easier for her, blamed me for her not getting a text about a cancelled game, caused Son to be late for his championship game and started yelling at his coaches in front of the rest of the players and their families. The Ex stated in an email that Husband was responsible for her "time lost" because he signed the kids up for sports.
Basketball
The Ex refused to pay less than $20 toward Daughter's basketball shoes on the basis that she had never "agreed" to Daughter playing.
Volleyball
The Ex caused Daughter to miss an entire tournament last year because she already "had plans." This year The Ex didn't attend a single volleyball event, including Parents' Night, despite having been literally as close as fifteen miles away from an all-day tournament.
All of that being said, we told The Ex back in June that Daughter would like to again play both volleyball and basketball this year; The Ex replied that she would like to see a schedule. Daughter just got her basketball schedule this week and we emailed it to The Ex last night. In past years, The Ex chose to leave Daughter here rather than bring her to practices/games but that was only for a handful of days. This year, Daughter has a lot of practices and games; quite a few of them fall on the Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks.
She read the email last night and said nothing. My assumption is she read the email and didn't bother to download the schedule, so she hasn't figured out quite yet that it's going to have a significant effect.
It's honestly like waiting for a bomb to go off....
Cheerleading
Husband asked if Daughter could join cheerleading; The Ex said she wasn't going to help pay for it and weeks later accused Husband of never discussing it with her. The Ex accused us of forcing Daughter to participate and claimed she didn't like participating. The Ex asked if Daughter could miss a performance because she didn't want to wait a few extra hours to pick up the kids. When Daughter was chosen to perform during halftime at an NBA game, she had three mandatory practices - The Ex complained and asked if Daughter could skip the one practice was on her placement weekend (This was the one and only practice that The Ex needed to be involved in and she had a complete fit about it.).
Football
The Ex ignored Husband asking if Son could play football and when practice started months later, she stated Husband never told her about it and that she wasn't going to bring him to practices because she "couldn't afford it." She then called the police stating that Husband was interfering with her placement; when we explained the situation and the police recontacted her, she said she didn't have a problem with Son playing but still thought he should be at her house despite her refusal to facilitate his sport. A few years later, she again alleged that Husband never told her about Son playing football (We finally had gotten smart and had done this by email, so we had proof that she had been notified.) She said Husband & the coach were being "rediculous" by expecting Son to participate as much as the rest of the team because she didn't want to travel to pick up Son after games; she said they needed to consider how "difficult and challenging" this was going to be for her, and that they needed to consider her youngest children's needs.
Baseball
The Ex told the kids they could play baseball in Hometown, argued with Husband over where the kids would play based on what was easier for her, blamed me for her not getting a text about a cancelled game, caused Son to be late for his championship game and started yelling at his coaches in front of the rest of the players and their families. The Ex stated in an email that Husband was responsible for her "time lost" because he signed the kids up for sports.
Basketball
The Ex refused to pay less than $20 toward Daughter's basketball shoes on the basis that she had never "agreed" to Daughter playing.
Volleyball
The Ex caused Daughter to miss an entire tournament last year because she already "had plans." This year The Ex didn't attend a single volleyball event, including Parents' Night, despite having been literally as close as fifteen miles away from an all-day tournament.
All of that being said, we told The Ex back in June that Daughter would like to again play both volleyball and basketball this year; The Ex replied that she would like to see a schedule. Daughter just got her basketball schedule this week and we emailed it to The Ex last night. In past years, The Ex chose to leave Daughter here rather than bring her to practices/games but that was only for a handful of days. This year, Daughter has a lot of practices and games; quite a few of them fall on the Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks.
She read the email last night and said nothing. My assumption is she read the email and didn't bother to download the schedule, so she hasn't figured out quite yet that it's going to have a significant effect.
It's honestly like waiting for a bomb to go off....
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