Now everything is Daughter's fault.
As the years have gone by, The Ex has constantly blamed Husband and/or me for everything that goes wrong. We've learned to brush our shoulders off, ignore the asinine behavior, and continue on with our lives. And while I recognize that mental disorders such as narcissism do not discriminate, I am just left astonished by the way that The Ex has started treating Daughter.
Last week, the kids had off of school on Friday. According to the stipulation we worked out nearly three years ago, this means that The Ex would get placement Thursday night at 5:30pm. However, Daughter had a basketball game on Friday at 6pm; Husband already stated to The Ex that he did not agree that she would be responsible for bringing Daughter to her games because a)The Ex made Daughter skip practice and b)The Ex brought Daughter to her games after they had already started.
Last week, the kids had off of school on Friday. According to the stipulation we worked out nearly three years ago, this means that The Ex would get placement Thursday night at 5:30pm. However, Daughter had a basketball game on Friday at 6pm; Husband already stated to The Ex that he did not agree that she would be responsible for bringing Daughter to her games because a)The Ex made Daughter skip practice and b)The Ex brought Daughter to her games after they had already started.
Wednesday evening, Daughter comments that The Ex "doesn't know if she's picking [Daughter] up tomorrow (Thursday) or Friday." I say no, she will not be getting picked up on Thursday for multiple reasons. The first is that The Ex should have been discussing this with Husband instead of the kids, and the second is that The Ex is always late. I told Daughter if The Ex was late for her own things, then that's not my business; when she doesn't have Daughter where she needs to be, then it becomes a problem. I said Husband had already said this to The Ex awhile ago so it shouldn't be a surprise that Daughter would be staying here on Thursday night.
Thursday afternoon around 1:30pm, The Ex texts both of the kids saying that her parents will be picking them up that night. (The Ex's parents are once again transporting her children, despite her telling Husband that "there" not doing so well.) Daughter immediately replies asking if she can stay here and get picked up the following evening after her game; The Ex ignores her. Son shows up after school releases, says that The Ex told him he's getting picked up at the school instead of our house. Husband tells Son that The Ex hasn't said a word to him about it; I tell Son he needs to text her back and say that he can be picked up at our house because she didn't communicate, Son drove himself to school, and now I don't have a way to get his car home.
Thursday afternoon around 1:30pm, The Ex texts both of the kids saying that her parents will be picking them up that night. (The Ex's parents are once again transporting her children, despite her telling Husband that "there" not doing so well.) Daughter immediately replies asking if she can stay here and get picked up the following evening after her game; The Ex ignores her. Son shows up after school releases, says that The Ex told him he's getting picked up at the school instead of our house. Husband tells Son that The Ex hasn't said a word to him about it; I tell Son he needs to text her back and say that he can be picked up at our house because she didn't communicate, Son drove himself to school, and now I don't have a way to get his car home.
As we were talking to Son, Daughter spoke to The Ex's dad and asked if she could stay Thursday night and get picked up Friday. The Ex's dad stated they didn't have the money to come get her the following evening. Daughter said she had a game Friday so they'd have to come back anyway. The Ex's dad replied, "You do?" (My assumption is that The Ex asked her parents to go pick up the kids and intentionally did not mention the game because her parents would probably have told her to just pick both kids up on Friday night rather than making two trips.)
Daughter then called The Ex and asked if she could stay here. The Ex asked why. Daughter said there was a boys' basketball game and that she didn't want to drive all the way back and forth two days in a row. The Ex complained, "Why not? I do it all the time. You think I'm not sick of it?!" (Right, but you chose to move. Son and Daughter didn't ask for this. Additionally, your parents were the ones making the trip that day.) Daughter repeated she didn't want to make the trip twice. The Ex said she didn't care if Daughter stayed, and then said, "I'm very disappointed in you." (This is complete bullshit. You tell your kid that you're disappointed when they don't try hard in school; you tell them you're disappointed when they make a poor decision. You do not move 2 hours away, and then tell your child that you're disappointed in them because they don't like the car ride.) The Ex complains about not getting an extra day with her and says, "I asked you guys to do things when I don't have you, and on weekends I don't have you." (So the kids can have their own lives, but only on her terms? She makes me sick.) The Ex starts trying to convince Daughter to come along that night, then tells Daughter to figure it out before her grandparents get there.
The Ex then starts saying that her parents left early "because of [Daughter]" but now if Daughter isn't coming, then her parents will have to drive over to our house and "listen to [Husband] bitch, (Husband doesn't do verbal communication with anyone in that family. We've learned our lesson.) and probably sit in the driveway for 30, 45 minutes because [Husband]'s a stuck-up piece of shit that won't let [Son] out the door until 5:30." (In almost 8 years of having custody, we have never once told the kids they had to wait until the court-ordered time to walk out of the house. Alternatively, when The Ex still lived in New City, the kids told us that she would do this. It didn't matter if it was only 5:29; she would not let them leave the house until her clock showed 5:30. She is insane.) The Ex asked what her parents were supposed to do until 5:30 (That's the regular pick up time; they shouldn't be disappointed if they have to wait.) and then yells at Daughter, "Do you not understand where this complicates shit?!" (The Ex gave the kids a 4-hour notice of her intentions. Now it's somehow Daughter's fault that it's "complicated.") Then in the biggest case of projection I've witnessed yet, The Ex tells Daughter, "I think you need to think about others instead of yourself a lot of times!" (....I have no words.) Because Daughter wasn't responding, The Ex asked if she was even listening. Daughter said yes. The Ex snaps, "Or would you rather me be [my name], so you can listen to her?!" (What the living hell is that supposed to mean? Is she honestly that insecure?) Daughter said she didn't know. The Ex says, "Oh, that's a great fricking answer!"
Daughter then called The Ex and asked if she could stay here. The Ex asked why. Daughter said there was a boys' basketball game and that she didn't want to drive all the way back and forth two days in a row. The Ex complained, "Why not? I do it all the time. You think I'm not sick of it?!" (Right, but you chose to move. Son and Daughter didn't ask for this. Additionally, your parents were the ones making the trip that day.) Daughter repeated she didn't want to make the trip twice. The Ex said she didn't care if Daughter stayed, and then said, "I'm very disappointed in you." (This is complete bullshit. You tell your kid that you're disappointed when they don't try hard in school; you tell them you're disappointed when they make a poor decision. You do not move 2 hours away, and then tell your child that you're disappointed in them because they don't like the car ride.) The Ex complains about not getting an extra day with her and says, "I asked you guys to do things when I don't have you, and on weekends I don't have you." (So the kids can have their own lives, but only on her terms? She makes me sick.) The Ex starts trying to convince Daughter to come along that night, then tells Daughter to figure it out before her grandparents get there.
The Ex then starts saying that her parents left early "because of [Daughter]" but now if Daughter isn't coming, then her parents will have to drive over to our house and "listen to [Husband] bitch, (Husband doesn't do verbal communication with anyone in that family. We've learned our lesson.) and probably sit in the driveway for 30, 45 minutes because [Husband]'s a stuck-up piece of shit that won't let [Son] out the door until 5:30." (In almost 8 years of having custody, we have never once told the kids they had to wait until the court-ordered time to walk out of the house. Alternatively, when The Ex still lived in New City, the kids told us that she would do this. It didn't matter if it was only 5:29; she would not let them leave the house until her clock showed 5:30. She is insane.) The Ex asked what her parents were supposed to do until 5:30 (That's the regular pick up time; they shouldn't be disappointed if they have to wait.) and then yells at Daughter, "Do you not understand where this complicates shit?!" (The Ex gave the kids a 4-hour notice of her intentions. Now it's somehow Daughter's fault that it's "complicated.") Then in the biggest case of projection I've witnessed yet, The Ex tells Daughter, "I think you need to think about others instead of yourself a lot of times!" (....I have no words.) Because Daughter wasn't responding, The Ex asked if she was even listening. Daughter said yes. The Ex snaps, "Or would you rather me be [my name], so you can listen to her?!" (What the living hell is that supposed to mean? Is she honestly that insecure?) Daughter said she didn't know. The Ex says, "Oh, that's a great fricking answer!"
The Ex then tells Daughter not to come, says that she has to call her dad and tells Daughter, "Thanks for making his life more worse (Every last part of this situation is due to The Ex's failure to act in a timely manner, yet she's blaming Daughter for all of it. She is one of the worst parents I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.)" She then starts complaining how she's at work and now she has to try to call Husband and says, "You know how your dad's gonna take it." (Husband has told her not to call him and was already planning on keeping Daughter. The Ex apparently felt that Husband would be angry if she told him that Daughter wasn't coming.) Daughter said Husband already knew she was staying. The Ex went on and on and on about how it was "her time" at 5:30 and she didn't care what Husband said. Finally, The Ex said she was going to call her dad and the two of them hung up.
So let's make sure we all understand:
The Ex did not communicate with Husband at any point about her intentions for picking up the kids or Daughter getting to her game.
The Ex told the kids what she was planning only hours before it was going to happen.
The Ex ignored Daughter's initial request to stay with us an extra night.
The Ex sent her parents to pick up her children instead of doing it herself.
The Ex yelled at Daughter that SHE was complicating things and making her grandfather's life worse.
Nothing will ever be this woman's fault. Not in a million years. She is such a hideous beast.
So let's make sure we all understand:
The Ex did not communicate with Husband at any point about her intentions for picking up the kids or Daughter getting to her game.
The Ex told the kids what she was planning only hours before it was going to happen.
The Ex ignored Daughter's initial request to stay with us an extra night.
The Ex sent her parents to pick up her children instead of doing it herself.
The Ex yelled at Daughter that SHE was complicating things and making her grandfather's life worse.
Nothing will ever be this woman's fault. Not in a million years. She is such a hideous beast.
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