"Selfish" doesn't even scratch the surface.
Allll the way back on January 28th, Daughter came home with a note saying that the state basketball tournament would be on the weekend of March 11th, and that quite a few of the girls from her team were going to attend. We asked if she also wanted to go, she said yes, we told the parent organizing the ticket purchase & hotel rooms that Daughter would be going. (This shouldn't have been a problem, as The Ex previously stated that "what...Daughter wants to do is her first and highest priority.") Husband logged into 2houses, sent The Ex a message about the tournament since it was on her weekend, asked if she wanted to switch weekends or just pick up Son that Friday, and then added the tournament to the calendar.
Again - that was on January 28th. The tournament was on the weekend of March 11th. The Ex was given a full 6 weeks' notice of the schedule change, and she was given the option of switching that weekend so that she could spend time with both of her children.
On February 25th, two weeks before the tournament, The Ex started asking Daughter about the tournament. The Ex commented that it was in a city two hours away from us(Exactly like Husband had already told her both in a message and on the calendar.). The Ex suddenly realized that tickets were required in order to attend, asked how one would get tickets, asked if the school gave tickets to the parents. (Why on earth would a high school give away tickets to a state basketball tournament to the students' parents?) Daughter said she wasn't playing in the tournament and that the girls were going to watch other teams play; The Ex said, "So you're not playing, though?" (Husband never said that Daughter was playing.) Daughter confirmed that they were just going to watch the tournament. The Ex then asked why Husband hadn't told her that Daughter wasn't coming to The Ex's house that weekend. (This is exactly why we use 2houses. We have proof that she was told, and she still says that we didn't tell her.) The Ex said that it's her birthday weekend, they're going out for dinner with her parents and siblings, and they're going out to a movie for her birthday; The Ex said she's not driving over here to pick up Son on Friday and then go out for her birthday on Saturday and then also pick up Daughter. (She moved and now everything is too far away, but everyone is supposed to feel bad for her.) Daughter asked, "So you're going to do that without me?" The Ex complained that she "never gets a 2-day weekend" and how she was "so excited." Daughter asked if The Ex didn't want her to go to the tournament; The Ex said she really didn't want her going but if Daughter wanted to, she's "not gonna stop her." (The Ex won't stop her; she will make Daughter feel like a piece of crap if she goes, but won't "stop" her.) The Ex again started talking about their plans for the weekend, talking about the restaurant they're going to and the movie they're going to see. Daughter asks if she can "think about it for the next week or so." (Again, Husband asked back in January if The Ex wanted to switch weekends. The Ex very easily could have rescheduled this so Daughter could participate.) The Ex said that Daughter could think about it and started going on again about her 2-day weekend. The Ex then said that she didn't think that Son would come out to eat with them or go see a movie if Daughter wasn't there; The Ex starts talking again about how "all of them" are going out. (Once again, The Ex failed to act like a parent and now the guilt is being placed on Daughter to fix her mother's mistake.) The Ex then reconfirmed that Daughter was not playing in the tournament, then started telling Daughter not to make plans on Spring Break because they're taking a trip out of state. (The Ex owes us nearly $300 in medical bills and hasn't made any payments in four months. They're going to an event that is going to cost them over $200 in admission alone; then they're also going to have gas costs, food, etc. Oh, and she still continues to tell the kids that she "doesn't have any money.") They talked a little bit about Boyfriend (Apparently, The Ex was scared enough of Boyfriend that she filed a restraining order against him two years ago; now, they're on good enough terms that he called to let her know he made it back to his homeland and they're friends on Facebook.) and then they both hung up.
Then next afternoon, The Ex took a screenshot of her text conversation with her sister about the birthday weekend plans, texted the screenshot to Daughter and wrote, "Looks like a full restaurant" (As in, "Everyone is coming out for my birthday....except for you.")
The day after that, Daughter texted me saying she didn't want to go to the tournament anymore; she then texted The Ex saying she had told me she didn't want to go but I hadn't replied. The Ex said she was "so happy" that she'd see Daughter. I saw Daughter's text, called her and asked what was going on; I said a month ago, she told us she wanted to go. Daughter said that it was The Ex's birthday weekend. I said okay, but Husband had emailed her over a month ago telling her about the tournament and asking if she wanted to switch weekends; The Ex could just move her plans to the next time she had both kids (That's what you do when you have a blended family; you accommodate multiple schedules and work things out for everyone's benefit. This year we're having Baby Girl's birthday party a week and a half after her actual birthday because that will be our weekend with the two older kids. It's called "being a parent.") I told Daughter I would see if she'd be able to back out this close to the tournament and I'd let her know. I called the mom heading up the event who confirmed that tickets were already purchased and the hotel rooms were booked; we'd minimally have to pay for the tickets but then the cost would go up for everyone else if we weren't contributing to the hotel cost, which I find unacceptable. I told Daughter that the rooms were booked and tickets were bought, so we couldn't back out; I said if The Ex had a problem or wanted to talk about it, she could talk to Husband. Daughter was with my sister at the time and commented that she now had to tell The Ex she wasn't coming by her, and said she didn't know why The Ex made plans when Husband had told her about this a month ago. Then this text conversation transpired:
Daughter: [My name] said the she already boight tickets and cant back out she said if you have a problem to talk to dad
The Ex: Honestly it's up to u what you want to do. (Then why are you telling her you don't want her to go, and trying to make her feel bad if she does?) And what does she mean talk to your dad...he won't answer. (Correct, because Husband has made it abundantly clear that he will communicate with you via 2houses. At no point did anyone state that you should try to call him about this.) Plus if I message him, she'll be the one responding. (Okay, and even if I was, what difference would it make? It's not like I created a 2houses account with Husband's name, invited The Ex to join, and Husband is completely out of the loop.) That weekend is my weekend. (Nobody said that it wasn't.) Your (*you're) coming hands down. (Ummm....I thought you just told Daughter that it was up to her what she was going to do for the weekend. Now she's coming with you "hands down"?) Even if cops get called. (Okay, so it's definitely not up to Daughter because she's threatening to call the police on Husband for interfering with custody.) You have a choice bc of your age to make up your own mind. (Wait...so she's coming hands down, you're calling the police...but now you're back to telling her that she can make up her own mind.) The cops will c that it's my weekend and they have no choice. (...so, it's not up to Daughter?) How come neither one of those 2 people care about what you want (She has become so delusional that I'm actually starting to worry. She told Daughter she didn't want her going to the tournament, put her on a guilt trip about it, convinced herself that Daughter didn't want to go to the tournament, and then accuses Husband and me of "not caring about what Daughter wants.")
Daughter: well she already paid 73 or more dollars for this
The Ex: Tell her to use them (I'm not the one who wanted to go; Daughter is.) or sell them to school. I'm sure they would help you sell them. (This was not a school activity. The school had no involvement in this.) Too bad ("Too bad"? This is the same woman who yelled at Husband repeatedly after she drove Daughter here for a baseball game after I had given her nearly 3 hours' notice that it was canceled, bitching that it was a waste of her time and gas money and that we "didn't tell her on purpose." But we spent $73 for something that Daughter wanted to do and it's "too bad.")
Daughter: ok (Daughter didn't bring this up to us or to the school.)
The Ex: How many tickets (Why is that relevant to any part of this?)
The Ex: Make sure you say something to the school right away in the morning. (Once again, this wasn't a school activity.) Go straight to the office and tell them the truth (story of all this) (Tell them the truth? Okay. "I said I wanted to go to a basketball tournament. My dad emailed my mom six weeks before the tournament asking if she wanted to switch weekends. My mom ignored him, made plans, is refusing to change them, and is now trying to make me feel bad for not spending her birthday weekend with her and blaming my dad for all of it.")
The Ex: How many tickets (Yes, she sent this twice. As I'm typing all of this, I'm starting to wonder if The Ex wasn't trying to get herself into the tournament as well. "Oh, you have two tickets? Well, give me one since it's my birthday and you didn't tell me about the change.")
Daughter: i have no idea i'm pretty sure just the one ticket (It was one ticket for Friday and one ticket for Saturday.)
The next morning, The Ex texted and asked Daughter to call her. The Ex asked if Daughter talked to Husband; Daughter said no. The Ex asked if Daughter and I had talked about anything more; Daughter said no and repeated that I had told her by text that it was too late, the tickets were purchased, we paid almost $75 and she couldn't back out. The Ex said that Daughter could back out (Excuse me?) and that she should go tell the school that she decided not to go to the tournament, it's The Ex's weekend, she needs to sell the ticket or "Husband won't let her have her weekend with her mom." (The Ex still, for whatever reason, believes that the school is somehow involved with this tournament.) When Daughter didn't answer, The Ex asked if she wanted her to call the school; Daughter said yes, The Ex should call the school. The Ex immediately back-pedaled on her offer, stating that nobody in the school knows who she is (This is Son's third year in high school and Daughter's first. If nobody in the school knows who you are, that is your fault.), that the school probably didn't have any of her information (I provide what I have at the time of enrollment. It's not my job to update the school every time her phone gets disconnected and she gets a new number,), complained that she doesn't get anything from the school (All of the class schedules, report cards, and calendars are online; it's been this way for years. Son and Daughter live with us, and we don't even get physical report cards from the school.), and accused me of listing myself as their mom. (Just in case any of you were curious, for the past eight years I have always listed Husband & myself jointly as "Parent 1" and The Ex as "Parent 2" on all of the kids' school forms.) The Ex then asked if Daughter was at school; when she said yes, The Ex told her to go into the office and give the secretary her phone.
Daughter didn't respond because she was talking to her friend, so The Ex began saying that it was her weekend and said, "Your dad's gonna be upset when you don't go on that trip, because you're gonna be with me." (Husband doesn't care if the kids are with The Ex. The problem is that The Ex was being a selfish cow by refusing to communicate with Husband, then refusing to change her plans to accommodate the tournament, telling Daughter she had to choose between The Ex and the tournament, and then trying to convince Daughter to skip the tournament after we had already said she couldn't.) The Ex says that Husband should have talked to her about this before he even bought the ticket or given her 48 hours to get back to him (He sent an email on January 28th about Daughter going to the tournament; the court order gave The Ex until January 30th to object. If she would have objected, we could have told the group that Daughter wasn't going and they would not have purchased a ticket for her. Now on February 28th, The Ex is claiming Husband bought the ticket without talking to her.) The Ex then says that Husband should have called her, "because he should call me if I don't respond." (The guardian ad litem suggested this in 2013 because The Ex complained about not getting texts or emails from Husband. It was not put into the court order because it's ridiculous; I should not have to remind a grown woman to reply to messages about her children.)
The Ex then started again telling Daughter to go to the office so they could "help her sell [the ticket]." Daughter was talking to her friend and not listening, but finally asked The Ex to just try and talk to Husband about this. (I. LOVE. Her.) The Ex then said that whatever Husband has done is already done. (Then why have you been telling her for the past four days that she doesn't need to go to the tournament and to sell her tickets?) The Ex said, "Even if it's my weekend, he does that to me. Just like he did it this time." (You're using the current situation as an example of the current situation? Um...okay.) The Ex then says that Daughter should have talked to her first before deciding she wanted to go. (If what Daughter wants to do is your "first and highest priority," then why does she need to talk to you first?) The Ex then says she's upset because it's her birthday weekend and they had "all these plans with the whole family" (Out of The Ex's four siblings, one went out for dinner with them. The rest didn't go because they were at a water park.) and then Daughter decided she "wanted to do something else" (You were told about this one full month ago. Daughter didn't just up and change her mind. The blame-shifting is just mind-boggling.) and "neither one of them (Husband or Daughter) called her or contacted her, (Okay, but they did. Husband sent a message and also put it on the calendar.) and it's her weekend with [Son and Daughter]." The Ex then started laying on the guilt, asking if Daughter knew how excited she was that she was going to have them on her birthday. (She had them on her birthday last year. The year before that, she didn't have them on her birthday but went to a water park with her siblings and posted on Facebook that she had "one of the best days of her life.")
Daughter finally gets frustrated and says that she'll talk to the office later. The Ex says she needs to get the ticket sold ASAP and says that Daughter should go into the office, tell them "This is what my dad's doing; he's not even gonna let me go to my mom's, even though it's her weekend (Husband offered to let her switch weekends.) because he already purchased the ticket before talking to her. (That literally never happened.) I don't wanna go, because I wanna be with my mom on her birthday. (Daughter never said she didn't want to go. There was no reason that she should have been asked to choose.)" The Ex then got irritated and asked, "How come you don't wanna make your dad look like an asshole when he frickin' is? He's a jerk!"
In what has become my favorite moment of February 2017, Daughter replied, "Well, technically, he told you a month ago that this tournament was that weekend, but then you planned the dinner." (Yeeeeeeeeeees!!!) The Ex blatantly lies and says no, Husband didn't tell her. (...is she honestly this stupid? It's in writing with a date and time stamp.) The Ex then started grabbing at straws and tried to use the defense, "The thing is....the tournament, you're not playing in. How- how do I know you're going to a tournament you're not playing in?" (Husband told you last month. That is how you would know.) Daughter started talking to her friend in the background; The Ex got upset and said, "So in other words, you wanna go to the tournament, if you're talking like that!" Daughter said no, she wanted to go to The Ex's. The Ex said, "...I don't know. The only thing is...yeah, I'll text your dad but you know who's gonna respond is [my name]! I don't think your dad is ever on the 2houses thing, it's always [my name, said with audible contempt].(Once again, what difference would it make if it came from me? Would the information be any more or less useful because it did or didn't come from Husband?)"
The Ex once again starts telling Daughter to go talk to the school office, then go home that night and tell us, "I talked to the office. I don't wanna go to this tournament, Dad. You should've not have (Yes, she said "should have not have.") bought a ticket without talking to me or Mom about this. (Daughter would have every right to say that, if that's what had actually taken place.)" Daughter was mindlessly responding, because she's tired of hearing the same thing over and over again when she knows the truth. The Ex says that Daughter needs to say to Husband, "How come you didn't talk to Mom about this beforehand? (Again, if Husband had actually done what The Ex is claiming, then both The Ex and Daughter would have every right to be upset.)" The Ex then says, "You're the one that's just missing out, and it's hurting the shit out of me by you not being there. (Then switch weekends!! What the hell is wrong with this woman?!) And, I just feel like you're okay with that, I guess. (Just like in January, now it's Daughter's fault that The Ex is a stubborn cow.) Mom only sees you four days out of the month, sometimes less than that. (A)She literally never sees them less than four days a month. B)You should have moved closer to your children instead of further away. C)Stop blaming everyone else for your shitty life choices.) Daughter wasn't listening which just pissed off The Ex even more; Daughter asked if they could not argue. The Ex said goodbye; Daughter said she loved her. The Ex said to tell Son that she'd be here to get him at 5:30 because she's "sure she wouldn't be picking [Daughter] up next Friday," and hung up.
Ten minutes later, The Ex logged into 2houses and finally replied to the message from January 28th:
"I'm really sorry for not responding to this earlier. I've only now have seen this message. ("I have only now have..." Let's glide right over the fact that The Ex was on the site multiple times, read a few messages that Husband had sent after the tournament message, and even sent a new message of her own. She just saw it on February 28th, after Daughter finally stood up to her and said she wasn't backing out of the tournament.) If [Daughter] wants to go she can. (Daughter always wanted to go.) I'll pick up [Son] then. If [Daughter] doesn't want to go, then I'll be picking her up too. (No, you won't because she's going to the tournament.)
I understand she's not playing. (Husband never said that she was. He said that her team was attending the tournament.) She's a big girl now to pick and choose what she wants to do. I'm leaving for her to decide. (Is that why you just spent the last four days trying to make her feel guilty for missing your birthday, telling her to go into the office and sell the tickets, lying about the fact that you were told a month ago about the tournament, and making up stories about Husband buying the tickets without talking to you or Daughter? I think what you actually meant was, "It's up to her, as long as she does what I want.")"
Husband replied and said that if Daughter didn't want to go to the tournament, he wouldn't have put it on the calendar and asked about switching weekends. He said that this is something that Daughter asked for, and said that Son could be picked up at 5:30pm the following Friday.
Again - that was on January 28th. The tournament was on the weekend of March 11th. The Ex was given a full 6 weeks' notice of the schedule change, and she was given the option of switching that weekend so that she could spend time with both of her children.
On February 25th, two weeks before the tournament, The Ex started asking Daughter about the tournament. The Ex commented that it was in a city two hours away from us(Exactly like Husband had already told her both in a message and on the calendar.). The Ex suddenly realized that tickets were required in order to attend, asked how one would get tickets, asked if the school gave tickets to the parents. (Why on earth would a high school give away tickets to a state basketball tournament to the students' parents?) Daughter said she wasn't playing in the tournament and that the girls were going to watch other teams play; The Ex said, "So you're not playing, though?" (Husband never said that Daughter was playing.) Daughter confirmed that they were just going to watch the tournament. The Ex then asked why Husband hadn't told her that Daughter wasn't coming to The Ex's house that weekend. (This is exactly why we use 2houses. We have proof that she was told, and she still says that we didn't tell her.) The Ex said that it's her birthday weekend, they're going out for dinner with her parents and siblings, and they're going out to a movie for her birthday; The Ex said she's not driving over here to pick up Son on Friday and then go out for her birthday on Saturday and then also pick up Daughter. (She moved and now everything is too far away, but everyone is supposed to feel bad for her.) Daughter asked, "So you're going to do that without me?" The Ex complained that she "never gets a 2-day weekend" and how she was "so excited." Daughter asked if The Ex didn't want her to go to the tournament; The Ex said she really didn't want her going but if Daughter wanted to, she's "not gonna stop her." (The Ex won't stop her; she will make Daughter feel like a piece of crap if she goes, but won't "stop" her.) The Ex again started talking about their plans for the weekend, talking about the restaurant they're going to and the movie they're going to see. Daughter asks if she can "think about it for the next week or so." (Again, Husband asked back in January if The Ex wanted to switch weekends. The Ex very easily could have rescheduled this so Daughter could participate.) The Ex said that Daughter could think about it and started going on again about her 2-day weekend. The Ex then said that she didn't think that Son would come out to eat with them or go see a movie if Daughter wasn't there; The Ex starts talking again about how "all of them" are going out. (Once again, The Ex failed to act like a parent and now the guilt is being placed on Daughter to fix her mother's mistake.) The Ex then reconfirmed that Daughter was not playing in the tournament, then started telling Daughter not to make plans on Spring Break because they're taking a trip out of state. (The Ex owes us nearly $300 in medical bills and hasn't made any payments in four months. They're going to an event that is going to cost them over $200 in admission alone; then they're also going to have gas costs, food, etc. Oh, and she still continues to tell the kids that she "doesn't have any money.") They talked a little bit about Boyfriend (Apparently, The Ex was scared enough of Boyfriend that she filed a restraining order against him two years ago; now, they're on good enough terms that he called to let her know he made it back to his homeland and they're friends on Facebook.) and then they both hung up.
Then next afternoon, The Ex took a screenshot of her text conversation with her sister about the birthday weekend plans, texted the screenshot to Daughter and wrote, "Looks like a full restaurant" (As in, "Everyone is coming out for my birthday....except for you.")
The day after that, Daughter texted me saying she didn't want to go to the tournament anymore; she then texted The Ex saying she had told me she didn't want to go but I hadn't replied. The Ex said she was "so happy" that she'd see Daughter. I saw Daughter's text, called her and asked what was going on; I said a month ago, she told us she wanted to go. Daughter said that it was The Ex's birthday weekend. I said okay, but Husband had emailed her over a month ago telling her about the tournament and asking if she wanted to switch weekends; The Ex could just move her plans to the next time she had both kids (That's what you do when you have a blended family; you accommodate multiple schedules and work things out for everyone's benefit. This year we're having Baby Girl's birthday party a week and a half after her actual birthday because that will be our weekend with the two older kids. It's called "being a parent.") I told Daughter I would see if she'd be able to back out this close to the tournament and I'd let her know. I called the mom heading up the event who confirmed that tickets were already purchased and the hotel rooms were booked; we'd minimally have to pay for the tickets but then the cost would go up for everyone else if we weren't contributing to the hotel cost, which I find unacceptable. I told Daughter that the rooms were booked and tickets were bought, so we couldn't back out; I said if The Ex had a problem or wanted to talk about it, she could talk to Husband. Daughter was with my sister at the time and commented that she now had to tell The Ex she wasn't coming by her, and said she didn't know why The Ex made plans when Husband had told her about this a month ago. Then this text conversation transpired:
Daughter: [My name] said the she already boight tickets and cant back out she said if you have a problem to talk to dad
The Ex: Honestly it's up to u what you want to do. (Then why are you telling her you don't want her to go, and trying to make her feel bad if she does?) And what does she mean talk to your dad...he won't answer. (Correct, because Husband has made it abundantly clear that he will communicate with you via 2houses. At no point did anyone state that you should try to call him about this.) Plus if I message him, she'll be the one responding. (Okay, and even if I was, what difference would it make? It's not like I created a 2houses account with Husband's name, invited The Ex to join, and Husband is completely out of the loop.) That weekend is my weekend. (Nobody said that it wasn't.) Your (*you're) coming hands down. (Ummm....I thought you just told Daughter that it was up to her what she was going to do for the weekend. Now she's coming with you "hands down"?) Even if cops get called. (Okay, so it's definitely not up to Daughter because she's threatening to call the police on Husband for interfering with custody.) You have a choice bc of your age to make up your own mind. (Wait...so she's coming hands down, you're calling the police...but now you're back to telling her that she can make up her own mind.) The cops will c that it's my weekend and they have no choice. (...so, it's not up to Daughter?) How come neither one of those 2 people care about what you want (She has become so delusional that I'm actually starting to worry. She told Daughter she didn't want her going to the tournament, put her on a guilt trip about it, convinced herself that Daughter didn't want to go to the tournament, and then accuses Husband and me of "not caring about what Daughter wants.")
Daughter: well she already paid 73 or more dollars for this
The Ex: Tell her to use them (I'm not the one who wanted to go; Daughter is.) or sell them to school. I'm sure they would help you sell them. (This was not a school activity. The school had no involvement in this.) Too bad ("Too bad"? This is the same woman who yelled at Husband repeatedly after she drove Daughter here for a baseball game after I had given her nearly 3 hours' notice that it was canceled, bitching that it was a waste of her time and gas money and that we "didn't tell her on purpose." But we spent $73 for something that Daughter wanted to do and it's "too bad.")
Daughter: ok (Daughter didn't bring this up to us or to the school.)
The Ex: How many tickets (Why is that relevant to any part of this?)
The Ex: Make sure you say something to the school right away in the morning. (Once again, this wasn't a school activity.) Go straight to the office and tell them the truth (story of all this) (Tell them the truth? Okay. "I said I wanted to go to a basketball tournament. My dad emailed my mom six weeks before the tournament asking if she wanted to switch weekends. My mom ignored him, made plans, is refusing to change them, and is now trying to make me feel bad for not spending her birthday weekend with her and blaming my dad for all of it.")
The Ex: How many tickets (Yes, she sent this twice. As I'm typing all of this, I'm starting to wonder if The Ex wasn't trying to get herself into the tournament as well. "Oh, you have two tickets? Well, give me one since it's my birthday and you didn't tell me about the change.")
Daughter: i have no idea i'm pretty sure just the one ticket (It was one ticket for Friday and one ticket for Saturday.)
The next morning, The Ex texted and asked Daughter to call her. The Ex asked if Daughter talked to Husband; Daughter said no. The Ex asked if Daughter and I had talked about anything more; Daughter said no and repeated that I had told her by text that it was too late, the tickets were purchased, we paid almost $75 and she couldn't back out. The Ex said that Daughter could back out (Excuse me?) and that she should go tell the school that she decided not to go to the tournament, it's The Ex's weekend, she needs to sell the ticket or "Husband won't let her have her weekend with her mom." (The Ex still, for whatever reason, believes that the school is somehow involved with this tournament.) When Daughter didn't answer, The Ex asked if she wanted her to call the school; Daughter said yes, The Ex should call the school. The Ex immediately back-pedaled on her offer, stating that nobody in the school knows who she is (This is Son's third year in high school and Daughter's first. If nobody in the school knows who you are, that is your fault.), that the school probably didn't have any of her information (I provide what I have at the time of enrollment. It's not my job to update the school every time her phone gets disconnected and she gets a new number,), complained that she doesn't get anything from the school (All of the class schedules, report cards, and calendars are online; it's been this way for years. Son and Daughter live with us, and we don't even get physical report cards from the school.), and accused me of listing myself as their mom. (Just in case any of you were curious, for the past eight years I have always listed Husband & myself jointly as "Parent 1" and The Ex as "Parent 2" on all of the kids' school forms.) The Ex then asked if Daughter was at school; when she said yes, The Ex told her to go into the office and give the secretary her phone.
Daughter didn't respond because she was talking to her friend, so The Ex began saying that it was her weekend and said, "Your dad's gonna be upset when you don't go on that trip, because you're gonna be with me." (Husband doesn't care if the kids are with The Ex. The problem is that The Ex was being a selfish cow by refusing to communicate with Husband, then refusing to change her plans to accommodate the tournament, telling Daughter she had to choose between The Ex and the tournament, and then trying to convince Daughter to skip the tournament after we had already said she couldn't.) The Ex says that Husband should have talked to her about this before he even bought the ticket or given her 48 hours to get back to him (He sent an email on January 28th about Daughter going to the tournament; the court order gave The Ex until January 30th to object. If she would have objected, we could have told the group that Daughter wasn't going and they would not have purchased a ticket for her. Now on February 28th, The Ex is claiming Husband bought the ticket without talking to her.) The Ex then says that Husband should have called her, "because he should call me if I don't respond." (The guardian ad litem suggested this in 2013 because The Ex complained about not getting texts or emails from Husband. It was not put into the court order because it's ridiculous; I should not have to remind a grown woman to reply to messages about her children.)
The Ex then started again telling Daughter to go to the office so they could "help her sell [the ticket]." Daughter was talking to her friend and not listening, but finally asked The Ex to just try and talk to Husband about this. (I. LOVE. Her.) The Ex then said that whatever Husband has done is already done. (Then why have you been telling her for the past four days that she doesn't need to go to the tournament and to sell her tickets?) The Ex said, "Even if it's my weekend, he does that to me. Just like he did it this time." (You're using the current situation as an example of the current situation? Um...okay.) The Ex then says that Daughter should have talked to her first before deciding she wanted to go. (If what Daughter wants to do is your "first and highest priority," then why does she need to talk to you first?) The Ex then says she's upset because it's her birthday weekend and they had "all these plans with the whole family" (Out of The Ex's four siblings, one went out for dinner with them. The rest didn't go because they were at a water park.) and then Daughter decided she "wanted to do something else" (You were told about this one full month ago. Daughter didn't just up and change her mind. The blame-shifting is just mind-boggling.) and "neither one of them (Husband or Daughter) called her or contacted her, (Okay, but they did. Husband sent a message and also put it on the calendar.) and it's her weekend with [Son and Daughter]." The Ex then started laying on the guilt, asking if Daughter knew how excited she was that she was going to have them on her birthday. (She had them on her birthday last year. The year before that, she didn't have them on her birthday but went to a water park with her siblings and posted on Facebook that she had "one of the best days of her life.")
Daughter finally gets frustrated and says that she'll talk to the office later. The Ex says she needs to get the ticket sold ASAP and says that Daughter should go into the office, tell them "This is what my dad's doing; he's not even gonna let me go to my mom's, even though it's her weekend (Husband offered to let her switch weekends.) because he already purchased the ticket before talking to her. (That literally never happened.) I don't wanna go, because I wanna be with my mom on her birthday. (Daughter never said she didn't want to go. There was no reason that she should have been asked to choose.)" The Ex then got irritated and asked, "How come you don't wanna make your dad look like an asshole when he frickin' is? He's a jerk!"
In what has become my favorite moment of February 2017, Daughter replied, "Well, technically, he told you a month ago that this tournament was that weekend, but then you planned the dinner." (Yeeeeeeeeeees!!!) The Ex blatantly lies and says no, Husband didn't tell her. (...is she honestly this stupid? It's in writing with a date and time stamp.) The Ex then started grabbing at straws and tried to use the defense, "The thing is....the tournament, you're not playing in. How- how do I know you're going to a tournament you're not playing in?" (Husband told you last month. That is how you would know.) Daughter started talking to her friend in the background; The Ex got upset and said, "So in other words, you wanna go to the tournament, if you're talking like that!" Daughter said no, she wanted to go to The Ex's. The Ex said, "...I don't know. The only thing is...yeah, I'll text your dad but you know who's gonna respond is [my name]! I don't think your dad is ever on the 2houses thing, it's always [my name, said with audible contempt].(Once again, what difference would it make if it came from me? Would the information be any more or less useful because it did or didn't come from Husband?)"
The Ex once again starts telling Daughter to go talk to the school office, then go home that night and tell us, "I talked to the office. I don't wanna go to this tournament, Dad. You should've not have (Yes, she said "should have not have.") bought a ticket without talking to me or Mom about this. (Daughter would have every right to say that, if that's what had actually taken place.)" Daughter was mindlessly responding, because she's tired of hearing the same thing over and over again when she knows the truth. The Ex says that Daughter needs to say to Husband, "How come you didn't talk to Mom about this beforehand? (Again, if Husband had actually done what The Ex is claiming, then both The Ex and Daughter would have every right to be upset.)" The Ex then says, "You're the one that's just missing out, and it's hurting the shit out of me by you not being there. (Then switch weekends!! What the hell is wrong with this woman?!) And, I just feel like you're okay with that, I guess. (Just like in January, now it's Daughter's fault that The Ex is a stubborn cow.) Mom only sees you four days out of the month, sometimes less than that. (A)She literally never sees them less than four days a month. B)You should have moved closer to your children instead of further away. C)Stop blaming everyone else for your shitty life choices.) Daughter wasn't listening which just pissed off The Ex even more; Daughter asked if they could not argue. The Ex said goodbye; Daughter said she loved her. The Ex said to tell Son that she'd be here to get him at 5:30 because she's "sure she wouldn't be picking [Daughter] up next Friday," and hung up.
Ten minutes later, The Ex logged into 2houses and finally replied to the message from January 28th:
"I'm really sorry for not responding to this earlier. I've only now have seen this message. ("I have only now have..." Let's glide right over the fact that The Ex was on the site multiple times, read a few messages that Husband had sent after the tournament message, and even sent a new message of her own. She just saw it on February 28th, after Daughter finally stood up to her and said she wasn't backing out of the tournament.) If [Daughter] wants to go she can. (Daughter always wanted to go.) I'll pick up [Son] then. If [Daughter] doesn't want to go, then I'll be picking her up too. (No, you won't because she's going to the tournament.)
I understand she's not playing. (Husband never said that she was. He said that her team was attending the tournament.) She's a big girl now to pick and choose what she wants to do. I'm leaving for her to decide. (Is that why you just spent the last four days trying to make her feel guilty for missing your birthday, telling her to go into the office and sell the tickets, lying about the fact that you were told a month ago about the tournament, and making up stories about Husband buying the tickets without talking to you or Daughter? I think what you actually meant was, "It's up to her, as long as she does what I want.")"
Husband replied and said that if Daughter didn't want to go to the tournament, he wouldn't have put it on the calendar and asked about switching weekends. He said that this is something that Daughter asked for, and said that Son could be picked up at 5:30pm the following Friday.
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