She's so weird...
Last week, The Ex and Boyfriend had their final divorce hearing. The Ex submitted a financial disclosure and a proposed marital settlement agreement. (I'm not sure of the exact outcome, but it doesn't make sense to me how a judge could do anything other than order that The Ex be awarded 100% of both the assets and the debts. Boyfriend isn't in the country anymore; there's no way to enforce any judgment against him, and there's no way for him to take possession of any property he may have been awarded.) The divorce was granted, and her lawyer is responsible for submitting the final paperwork to the court.
At 8:20pm the same night, The Ex uploaded two pictures to Facebook; one close-up of her face with a huge over-the-top smile (I'm not exaggerating when I say that this picture makes her look exactly like Wallace from "Wallace & Gromit." If you don't know who that is, Google it. You'll be glad you did.) and one of her and Ned. With the uploads, she wrote:
"Someone is finally divorced!!! ("Someone"? Um...you. You are divorced. And divorced for the second time, no less.)
Hello [The Ex's first name & maiden name]!!! (Her checks have listed her maiden name for over a year now, even though she alternated between signing that and her married name. Ironically, her name on the Facebook post where she wrote this still shows her married name.)
Thanks for celebrating with me!!! (I'm not exactly sure who this is directed at...?)
[Woman's name] your (*you're) the best!!! (I have no idea who this woman is, or why she is "the best." It is not The Ex's lawyer, the guardian ad litem, the judge, anyone in The Ex's family.)
Love you [Ned's first & last name]!!!"
As if the fifteen exclamation marks weren't enough to deal with, then the Internet was blessed with the following conversation in the comments:
Friend: Yay congrats lol
The Ex: Thanks!! Been waiting almost 2 years (The Ex & Ned have been dating for 21 months and she now announces she's been waiting on her divorce for "almost 2 years." You do the math.)
Friend: You are a free women (*woman) now...well sorta lol
The Ex: Sort of...FREE woman with [Ned's first and last name] (Why is "free" capitalized?)
The Ex: Lol!!!! (I don't understand what's funny about that... did I miss something?)
The Ex: He makes me FEEL free (I'm starting to think there's an inside joke that nobody else knew about.)
Friend: Lol yes. We need to have some margaritas now
Friend: Omg lmao!!! (Okay, there has to be some kind of inside joke about being free or feeling free or whatever, because nobody said anything in the course of this conversation that would elicit "lmao" as a response from anyone.)
The Ex: Had a large and a FREE medium at [restaurant in Tiny City] (Again with the capital letters?)
Friend: Next time lmao (...I'm so confused.)
The Ex: Definitely!! But Monday through Wednesday
The Ex: Buy 1 get 1!!!!
Friend: Okay it's a plan
Friend: [Ned's first and last name] you buying lmao (Maybe he should. After all, his girlfriend of almost 2 years is actually single now.)
A bunch of comments came in from other people congratulating The Ex on her divorce. Some of her replies included:
"I have a little stress off my shoulders. Can't wait to its ALL over" (You're divorced and your ex-husband got deported; what more needs to be over? The only thing I can think of is the trailer that she's still trying to sell for almost twice what she paid for it.)
"Thank you!!! Let me tell you, I got TREATED tonight!!" (Yay, how special you are to have walked out on both of your marriages! Woohoo!)
"I know...right!!! About time" (Here's the thing about divorce: you don't get to use your husband to co-sign for loans while simultaneously committing welfare fraud, amass large amounts of debt for things you didn't need, walk out on him after only 4 years of marriage, take at least two-thirds of the assets with you, demand that he pay for at least half everything including what you took, and then expect a quick trial. All of those things coupled with Boyfriend's immigration issues, there was nothing about this divorce that should have been over quickly.)
In addition to her weird comments, The Ex tagged Ned in her status - and also tagged both of Ned's parents. I don't know how or why she thought that was a good idea, but....ew.
At 8:20pm the same night, The Ex uploaded two pictures to Facebook; one close-up of her face with a huge over-the-top smile (I'm not exaggerating when I say that this picture makes her look exactly like Wallace from "Wallace & Gromit." If you don't know who that is, Google it. You'll be glad you did.) and one of her and Ned. With the uploads, she wrote:
"Someone is finally divorced!!! ("Someone"? Um...you. You are divorced. And divorced for the second time, no less.)
Hello [The Ex's first name & maiden name]!!! (Her checks have listed her maiden name for over a year now, even though she alternated between signing that and her married name. Ironically, her name on the Facebook post where she wrote this still shows her married name.)
Thanks for celebrating with me!!! (I'm not exactly sure who this is directed at...?)
[Woman's name] your (*you're) the best!!! (I have no idea who this woman is, or why she is "the best." It is not The Ex's lawyer, the guardian ad litem, the judge, anyone in The Ex's family.)
Love you [Ned's first & last name]!!!"
As if the fifteen exclamation marks weren't enough to deal with, then the Internet was blessed with the following conversation in the comments:
Friend: Yay congrats lol
The Ex: Thanks!! Been waiting almost 2 years (The Ex & Ned have been dating for 21 months and she now announces she's been waiting on her divorce for "almost 2 years." You do the math.)
Friend: You are a free women (*woman) now...well sorta lol
The Ex: Sort of...FREE woman with [Ned's first and last name] (Why is "free" capitalized?)
The Ex: Lol!!!! (I don't understand what's funny about that... did I miss something?)
The Ex: He makes me FEEL free (I'm starting to think there's an inside joke that nobody else knew about.)
Friend: Lol yes. We need to have some margaritas now
Friend: Omg lmao!!! (Okay, there has to be some kind of inside joke about being free or feeling free or whatever, because nobody said anything in the course of this conversation that would elicit "lmao" as a response from anyone.)
The Ex: Had a large and a FREE medium at [restaurant in Tiny City] (Again with the capital letters?)
Friend: Next time lmao (...I'm so confused.)
The Ex: Definitely!! But Monday through Wednesday
The Ex: Buy 1 get 1!!!!
Friend: Okay it's a plan
Friend: [Ned's first and last name] you buying lmao (Maybe he should. After all, his girlfriend of almost 2 years is actually single now.)
A bunch of comments came in from other people congratulating The Ex on her divorce. Some of her replies included:
"I have a little stress off my shoulders. Can't wait to its ALL over" (You're divorced and your ex-husband got deported; what more needs to be over? The only thing I can think of is the trailer that she's still trying to sell for almost twice what she paid for it.)
"Thank you!!! Let me tell you, I got TREATED tonight!!" (Yay, how special you are to have walked out on both of your marriages! Woohoo!)
"I know...right!!! About time" (Here's the thing about divorce: you don't get to use your husband to co-sign for loans while simultaneously committing welfare fraud, amass large amounts of debt for things you didn't need, walk out on him after only 4 years of marriage, take at least two-thirds of the assets with you, demand that he pay for at least half everything including what you took, and then expect a quick trial. All of those things coupled with Boyfriend's immigration issues, there was nothing about this divorce that should have been over quickly.)
In addition to her weird comments, The Ex tagged Ned in her status - and also tagged both of Ned's parents. I don't know how or why she thought that was a good idea, but....ew.
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