Summer fun is here!
Son was told for at least two years he would need money to buy a vehicle when he turned 16. Son mentioned a few times that The Ex's dad said he would buy him his first car, so Son spent all of his birthday/Christmas/confirmation money every year. Suddenly, it was time to drive, he didn't have anything saved and The Ex's dad didn't have any money or a car for him. Son also conveniently got amnesia and claimed he didn't remember saying that there would be a car purchased for him.
A little less than a year and half ago, Son was being told and repeated to me that he didn't need his license and that he didn't have to listen to me because I'm not his biological mother. (That last part is because I was the one setting everything up...you know, how most moms do.) Despite this, we got Son enrolled in and took him to his driver's education classes, found a decent car and lent him the money to buy it, and took him to get his license. Son loves the freedom that he now has with his own vehicle. So of course, The Ex has to try and use that against us.
The Ex was complaining to Son a few weeks ago that Husband doesn't "help him out" with his car; she said that when she was Son's age, her dad used to "take care of everything" - gas, insurance, oil changes, etc. The Ex reminded Son that's why her dad was upset when he found out that Son had to pay for his own driver's class. (And look at how well she turned out. Her credit has been completely obliterated by all of her poor choices, she's twice divorced, she lost custody of half of her kids, she never has any money....I mean, having everything handed to her was clearly beneficial. That set aside, she hasn't done a single thing for Son to have any of what he has; it's been me and Husband, one hundred percent. Son wouldn't have a license or a car if it wasn't for us.)
Now with summer coming up, the kids are supposed to spend most of the summer with The Ex. (I say "supposed to" because Daughter has already asked if she can stay here with us instead.) Son asked when he would be able to take his car and said that The Ex would give him money for gas. I told Son there are a couple of issues, the first being that it's a very long drive for him to make alone. (Reminder: two years ago, The Ex moved two hours away from our house. She now wants Son to drive himself and Daughter up there alone at night.) Son said he wouldn't be alone, Daughter would be with him. (Ahhh, I miss my youth and the ignorance that accompanied it...) I repeated that it's too far alone. Son said that The Ex usually sleeps while they're driving back and forth, so it's like she's not in the car; I said that's fine, but if something were to happen then at least she would be there with them. (I know I'm giving her more credit than she deserves; the kids would honestly be better off alone than with her in the car, but I can't very well say that. And it doesn't change the fact that it's a long-ass drive, particularly for a 16-year-old and 14-year-old to make by themselves.)
I also brought up the point of repairs - Husband has fixed and maintained the car, occasionally with Son's help. If it breaks down while he is with The Ex, who is going to pay for it to be fixed? Son said, "Well, we know this pretty cool guy who's a mechanic. He works basically for free." I asked if it was free, or "basically free." Son said that the guy gives them a discounted price. I said that's fine, but he still needed to be paid, so who was going to pay him? Son didn't say anything.
Then I pointed out that even if the guy they knew worked for free, parts would still need to be purchased; who was going to pay for those? Son said, "....well, what's gonna break?" I reminded Son that he was in the vehicle two years ago when my truck had broken down while we were coming home from Husband's parents' house; these things can and do happen without warning. If we were able to foresee it, we would have fixed it before leaving on our trip; you can't always tell when certain parts are going to quit. I told Son that one part that we needed was $175, so how was he going to pay for that if he broke down up by The Ex's place? He didn't have an answer.
A little while later, The Ex called Son. Son started complaining that he wasn't bringing his car; The Ex asked why Husband had said no. Son told her that we said it was too far for him to go by himself. The Ex asked if he told us that she had already let him drive that far by himself in her dad's vehicle. (1. We already knew that. 2. You are not exactly a beacon of "good parenting choices" which is why Son and Daughter live with us.) Son then said we asked if the car broke, who was going to pay for it? The Ex was silent for a full seven seconds. Son actually thought that she hung up or dropped the call, because she got so quiet.(Because she knows that if his car breaks down, he's screwed. She will vilify us at every opportunity for not giving Son and Daughter money at the drop of a hat like her parents have always done for her, but she's not going to do it either and she damn well knows it.) The Ex then said, "Well, you need to be careful." (Ohhh, is that the trick? I didn't realize that the auto repair industry only existed because people are not "careful." Thank you for the insight!)
The Ex then began complaining that she didn't know how Son would get around during the summer because she and Ned have to work, and said it would be for the best if he brought his own vehicle up there. (We've already essentially said no, and she's still telling him to do it.) Son told her to talk to Husband about it. The Ex said she would email him (This is 2-3 weeks after telling Daughter that she hates it when Husband tells her to email him "because I'm the one answering and she doesn't want to talk to me.") and Son told her to call instead. (I don't know why he said this. He knows Husband won't talk to her on the phone.) The Ex started rambling on about how Husband won't answer her phone calls, and she'll prove it to Son (We've never denied that Husband won't talk to her on the phone; there's nothing to prove.) and said that Husband doesn't reply when she texts him. (The last time she texted him was New Years' Day. Husband replied and told her that he'd communicate with her on 2houses.) The Ex then said that she needed to email Husband anyway because she wants to switch weekends; she complained that there's no way she can bring them down for Father's Day, drive back home, then come back again to get them. (Husband is supposed to have the kids from 9am to 5:30pm on Father's Day. Since that isn't our weekend, The Ex has to make an extra trip down here.) The Ex said that's why it would have been nice for Son to have his own vehicle so he could have driven him and Daughter back and forth. (And there's the real reason she wants him to bring his car: she doesn't want to drive. Unfortunately for her, she signed a stipulation stating that in exchange for paying us $0 in child support, transportation is 100% her responsibility - not mine, not Husband's, and most definitely not Son's.) Son told her to not talk to him about it because he can't do anything and told her to call Husband.
After all of this, we've heard nothing. The Ex has not called or texted, and the last time that she logged into 2houses was two days ago.
A little less than a year and half ago, Son was being told and repeated to me that he didn't need his license and that he didn't have to listen to me because I'm not his biological mother. (That last part is because I was the one setting everything up...you know, how most moms do.) Despite this, we got Son enrolled in and took him to his driver's education classes, found a decent car and lent him the money to buy it, and took him to get his license. Son loves the freedom that he now has with his own vehicle. So of course, The Ex has to try and use that against us.
The Ex was complaining to Son a few weeks ago that Husband doesn't "help him out" with his car; she said that when she was Son's age, her dad used to "take care of everything" - gas, insurance, oil changes, etc. The Ex reminded Son that's why her dad was upset when he found out that Son had to pay for his own driver's class. (And look at how well she turned out. Her credit has been completely obliterated by all of her poor choices, she's twice divorced, she lost custody of half of her kids, she never has any money....I mean, having everything handed to her was clearly beneficial. That set aside, she hasn't done a single thing for Son to have any of what he has; it's been me and Husband, one hundred percent. Son wouldn't have a license or a car if it wasn't for us.)
Now with summer coming up, the kids are supposed to spend most of the summer with The Ex. (I say "supposed to" because Daughter has already asked if she can stay here with us instead.) Son asked when he would be able to take his car and said that The Ex would give him money for gas. I told Son there are a couple of issues, the first being that it's a very long drive for him to make alone. (Reminder: two years ago, The Ex moved two hours away from our house. She now wants Son to drive himself and Daughter up there alone at night.) Son said he wouldn't be alone, Daughter would be with him. (Ahhh, I miss my youth and the ignorance that accompanied it...) I repeated that it's too far alone. Son said that The Ex usually sleeps while they're driving back and forth, so it's like she's not in the car; I said that's fine, but if something were to happen then at least she would be there with them. (I know I'm giving her more credit than she deserves; the kids would honestly be better off alone than with her in the car, but I can't very well say that. And it doesn't change the fact that it's a long-ass drive, particularly for a 16-year-old and 14-year-old to make by themselves.)
I also brought up the point of repairs - Husband has fixed and maintained the car, occasionally with Son's help. If it breaks down while he is with The Ex, who is going to pay for it to be fixed? Son said, "Well, we know this pretty cool guy who's a mechanic. He works basically for free." I asked if it was free, or "basically free." Son said that the guy gives them a discounted price. I said that's fine, but he still needed to be paid, so who was going to pay him? Son didn't say anything.
Then I pointed out that even if the guy they knew worked for free, parts would still need to be purchased; who was going to pay for those? Son said, "....well, what's gonna break?" I reminded Son that he was in the vehicle two years ago when my truck had broken down while we were coming home from Husband's parents' house; these things can and do happen without warning. If we were able to foresee it, we would have fixed it before leaving on our trip; you can't always tell when certain parts are going to quit. I told Son that one part that we needed was $175, so how was he going to pay for that if he broke down up by The Ex's place? He didn't have an answer.
A little while later, The Ex called Son. Son started complaining that he wasn't bringing his car; The Ex asked why Husband had said no. Son told her that we said it was too far for him to go by himself. The Ex asked if he told us that she had already let him drive that far by himself in her dad's vehicle. (1. We already knew that. 2. You are not exactly a beacon of "good parenting choices" which is why Son and Daughter live with us.) Son then said we asked if the car broke, who was going to pay for it? The Ex was silent for a full seven seconds. Son actually thought that she hung up or dropped the call, because she got so quiet.(Because she knows that if his car breaks down, he's screwed. She will vilify us at every opportunity for not giving Son and Daughter money at the drop of a hat like her parents have always done for her, but she's not going to do it either and she damn well knows it.) The Ex then said, "Well, you need to be careful." (Ohhh, is that the trick? I didn't realize that the auto repair industry only existed because people are not "careful." Thank you for the insight!)
The Ex then began complaining that she didn't know how Son would get around during the summer because she and Ned have to work, and said it would be for the best if he brought his own vehicle up there. (We've already essentially said no, and she's still telling him to do it.) Son told her to talk to Husband about it. The Ex said she would email him (This is 2-3 weeks after telling Daughter that she hates it when Husband tells her to email him "because I'm the one answering and she doesn't want to talk to me.") and Son told her to call instead. (I don't know why he said this. He knows Husband won't talk to her on the phone.) The Ex started rambling on about how Husband won't answer her phone calls, and she'll prove it to Son (We've never denied that Husband won't talk to her on the phone; there's nothing to prove.) and said that Husband doesn't reply when she texts him. (The last time she texted him was New Years' Day. Husband replied and told her that he'd communicate with her on 2houses.) The Ex then said that she needed to email Husband anyway because she wants to switch weekends; she complained that there's no way she can bring them down for Father's Day, drive back home, then come back again to get them. (Husband is supposed to have the kids from 9am to 5:30pm on Father's Day. Since that isn't our weekend, The Ex has to make an extra trip down here.) The Ex said that's why it would have been nice for Son to have his own vehicle so he could have driven him and Daughter back and forth. (And there's the real reason she wants him to bring his car: she doesn't want to drive. Unfortunately for her, she signed a stipulation stating that in exchange for paying us $0 in child support, transportation is 100% her responsibility - not mine, not Husband's, and most definitely not Son's.) Son told her to not talk to him about it because he can't do anything and told her to call Husband.
After all of this, we've heard nothing. The Ex has not called or texted, and the last time that she logged into 2houses was two days ago.
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