Father's Day foolery
You guys...this was probably the craziest Father's Day that I've spent with Husband to date. This story is going to jump around a bit because I'm going to save the best part for the last, rather than going in chronological order.
Jumping back to Friday night, The Ex shared a post on Facebook about disciplining your kids and how people don't and that's what's wrong with this country. Along with the post, she wrote:
"So true... I'm glad my kids are very well behaved. (I think you mean Son and Daughter; they both say that our youngest two at their worst are nothing compared to The Ex's youngest two.) I instil (Supposed to be two Ls there, honey.) respect into them (...I beg your f*cking pardon?!) and by doing that they are respected back greatly by many. And YES, my kids still love me even though there's time's of being firm" (If you have to announce to people that your kids "still love you," then other people are not the ones who need convincing. Also, the English is astounding - "..even though there is time's...")
My initial reaction to this was: she instilled respect in them?! When she was letting teenagers get drunk while they were supposed to be babysitting for Son and Daughter who were 6 and 4 years old at the time, she told a police officer that it was none of his business who she left her kids with; a year and a half ago, she waited two hours to leave her house and then screamed at her mom that she was late because her mom hadn't given her money the night before; she constantly swears at and hangs up on people; she called an office manager a "stupid bitch" because she refused to lie for her in court. She is hands down one of the most disrespectful people that I have ever met in my entire life, but Son and Daughter turned out respectful, and thereby respected, because of her?!
In case you couldn't tell, I was not pleased. This is the equivalent of being assigned a project, you do all the work while your partner does absolutely nothing, and then when the project is a success, your partner stands in front of the rest of your office talking about all of the time they invested into the project and how they're so pleased with how it turned out. It. Is. Infuriating.
The court order reads that the kids will spend Mother's Day with The Ex and Father's Day with Husband beginning at 9am; it doesn't specify an end time, so we typically just go with the regular exchange time of 5:30pm. After she previously told Son that she wanted to switch weekends because it was too much driving for one day, The Ex never said anything to Husband so they never switched weekends.
Yesterday morning, Son and Daughter pull into our driveway in The Ex's car. Daughter says that they came down the night before and spent the night at their friends' houses. While they were at our house, Son commented that they were supposed to be back in Tiny City by 5:30 that night. Husband and I said no, they stayed here until 5:30pm. Son said that The Ex had already told her friend that he and Daughter would pick up their younger sister around 4pm. Husband and I said that was The Ex's problem, not theirs; she doesn't get to rearrange the schedule. We said that if The Ex had driven, she wouldn't pick them up until 5:30pm; they don't leave early just because she let them drive. Son just kind of shrugged and we went on with our day.
We had some friends and neighbors over, grilled out, and had a really nice day with everyone. The Ex was texting the kids pictures of shoes, asking which ones they wanted. Daughter commented that she didn't know why The Ex didn't just take them with her to buy shoes and she felt it was stupid to do it this way (It's not the first time this has happened.) Son picked one pair of shoes; The Ex told him that his size wasn't available, tried calling him, Son declined the call, and just picked another pair of shoes; he was also getting exasperated by this.
Around 5:10pm, I had gone into the house for something; when I came back out, Son was on his phone with kind of a blank stare on his face, like he was zoning out. I asked who he was on the phone with. Daughter said it was The Ex and commented, "She called him like, 500 times." (I can only assume that his facial expression was due to her screaming at him for still being at our house when she thought he should have been at Ned's house, and for not answering his phone immediately.) Son finished talking to her, hung up, looked at the time, and said they'd leave in 10 minutes. They both changed their clothes, got into The Ex's car, and left.
A little while later, Husband realized that Son had forgotten his Bluetooth speaker. I called Son to let him know he had left it behind and see if he wanted to come back for it. Son said it was fine, then added that The Ex's car only had a quarter tank of gas and he didn't think she had any money in the car for him to stop and get more. (It's almost 90 miles between our houses; that does not include the kids picking up their sister somewhere.) I said he should call The Ex to check if she had any money in the car, and we hung up. (I am wrestling with my own personal guilt over not helping Son out, but there are a few different reasons why I did not. The first is that The Ex is 100% responsible for transportation; she agreed to this in exchange for not having to pay any child support. The second is that The Ex told Son that if he brought his own car for the summer, she would give him money for gas; however, she gave him her car to take and did not make sure that he had enough gas in the car to get back and forth. The third is that weeks ago, The Ex was telling Son how her dad took care of everything when she was his age and she didn't have to pay for any of it; now Son has these things and she's not helping him at all, but she has no problem telling him that Husband and I should be doing it. So ultimately, The Ex created the situation and she is responsible for it; I am finished cleaning up her messes.)
And now, for the pièce de résistance...
When the kids pulled up in the morning, Son immediately got the hose and started washing the car. Daughter came inside and made a comment that she was not going to help Son; she said she got him some soap, and that was as much as she was going to do. I asked what happened and why he was washing the car. Daughter said that she didn't know what one of Son's friends was thinking but he must have thought he was being funny the night before....
Son's friend egged The Ex's car.
I don't know how familiar any of you are with eggs on paint but if it isn't washed off quickly, it can and will destroy a car's clear coat and even the paint. The car got egged sometime on Saturday; Son did not wash the car until Sunday morning, when the sun was already up and the temp was pushing 65º F. Even after he spent about 20-30 minutes washing it, there were blotchy spots all over the car - on both of the sides, the hood, the trunk. We're kind of hoping that maybe he'll get lucky, they can take it through a car wash and maybe it won't be so bad...but I'm not betting on it.
I already told Daughter that we're not a part of this. Her response was, "Neither am I!" I told her that The Ex had lent her car to Son, he was responsible for it, and it was between the two of them. Quite honestly though, I am fainthearted thinking about how The Ex probably reacted when she realized that her car is damaged. I've seen the fury she unleashes on Husband when he hasn't even done anything; Son and his friends actually wrecked her vehicle. It will probably be a cold day in hell before she lets Son borrow her vehicle again.
And I know it's not very nice of me, but I feel like this is karma throat-punching The Ex for being/saying/doing all of the terrible, horrible things that she is/does.
Jumping back to Friday night, The Ex shared a post on Facebook about disciplining your kids and how people don't and that's what's wrong with this country. Along with the post, she wrote:
"So true... I'm glad my kids are very well behaved. (I think you mean Son and Daughter; they both say that our youngest two at their worst are nothing compared to The Ex's youngest two.) I instil (Supposed to be two Ls there, honey.) respect into them (...I beg your f*cking pardon?!) and by doing that they are respected back greatly by many. And YES, my kids still love me even though there's time's of being firm" (If you have to announce to people that your kids "still love you," then other people are not the ones who need convincing. Also, the English is astounding - "..even though there is time's...")
My initial reaction to this was: she instilled respect in them?! When she was letting teenagers get drunk while they were supposed to be babysitting for Son and Daughter who were 6 and 4 years old at the time, she told a police officer that it was none of his business who she left her kids with; a year and a half ago, she waited two hours to leave her house and then screamed at her mom that she was late because her mom hadn't given her money the night before; she constantly swears at and hangs up on people; she called an office manager a "stupid bitch" because she refused to lie for her in court. She is hands down one of the most disrespectful people that I have ever met in my entire life, but Son and Daughter turned out respectful, and thereby respected, because of her?!
In case you couldn't tell, I was not pleased. This is the equivalent of being assigned a project, you do all the work while your partner does absolutely nothing, and then when the project is a success, your partner stands in front of the rest of your office talking about all of the time they invested into the project and how they're so pleased with how it turned out. It. Is. Infuriating.
The court order reads that the kids will spend Mother's Day with The Ex and Father's Day with Husband beginning at 9am; it doesn't specify an end time, so we typically just go with the regular exchange time of 5:30pm. After she previously told Son that she wanted to switch weekends because it was too much driving for one day, The Ex never said anything to Husband so they never switched weekends.
Yesterday morning, Son and Daughter pull into our driveway in The Ex's car. Daughter says that they came down the night before and spent the night at their friends' houses. While they were at our house, Son commented that they were supposed to be back in Tiny City by 5:30 that night. Husband and I said no, they stayed here until 5:30pm. Son said that The Ex had already told her friend that he and Daughter would pick up their younger sister around 4pm. Husband and I said that was The Ex's problem, not theirs; she doesn't get to rearrange the schedule. We said that if The Ex had driven, she wouldn't pick them up until 5:30pm; they don't leave early just because she let them drive. Son just kind of shrugged and we went on with our day.
We had some friends and neighbors over, grilled out, and had a really nice day with everyone. The Ex was texting the kids pictures of shoes, asking which ones they wanted. Daughter commented that she didn't know why The Ex didn't just take them with her to buy shoes and she felt it was stupid to do it this way (It's not the first time this has happened.) Son picked one pair of shoes; The Ex told him that his size wasn't available, tried calling him, Son declined the call, and just picked another pair of shoes; he was also getting exasperated by this.
Around 5:10pm, I had gone into the house for something; when I came back out, Son was on his phone with kind of a blank stare on his face, like he was zoning out. I asked who he was on the phone with. Daughter said it was The Ex and commented, "She called him like, 500 times." (I can only assume that his facial expression was due to her screaming at him for still being at our house when she thought he should have been at Ned's house, and for not answering his phone immediately.) Son finished talking to her, hung up, looked at the time, and said they'd leave in 10 minutes. They both changed their clothes, got into The Ex's car, and left.
A little while later, Husband realized that Son had forgotten his Bluetooth speaker. I called Son to let him know he had left it behind and see if he wanted to come back for it. Son said it was fine, then added that The Ex's car only had a quarter tank of gas and he didn't think she had any money in the car for him to stop and get more. (It's almost 90 miles between our houses; that does not include the kids picking up their sister somewhere.) I said he should call The Ex to check if she had any money in the car, and we hung up. (I am wrestling with my own personal guilt over not helping Son out, but there are a few different reasons why I did not. The first is that The Ex is 100% responsible for transportation; she agreed to this in exchange for not having to pay any child support. The second is that The Ex told Son that if he brought his own car for the summer, she would give him money for gas; however, she gave him her car to take and did not make sure that he had enough gas in the car to get back and forth. The third is that weeks ago, The Ex was telling Son how her dad took care of everything when she was his age and she didn't have to pay for any of it; now Son has these things and she's not helping him at all, but she has no problem telling him that Husband and I should be doing it. So ultimately, The Ex created the situation and she is responsible for it; I am finished cleaning up her messes.)
And now, for the pièce de résistance...
When the kids pulled up in the morning, Son immediately got the hose and started washing the car. Daughter came inside and made a comment that she was not going to help Son; she said she got him some soap, and that was as much as she was going to do. I asked what happened and why he was washing the car. Daughter said that she didn't know what one of Son's friends was thinking but he must have thought he was being funny the night before....
Son's friend egged The Ex's car.
I don't know how familiar any of you are with eggs on paint but if it isn't washed off quickly, it can and will destroy a car's clear coat and even the paint. The car got egged sometime on Saturday; Son did not wash the car until Sunday morning, when the sun was already up and the temp was pushing 65º F. Even after he spent about 20-30 minutes washing it, there were blotchy spots all over the car - on both of the sides, the hood, the trunk. We're kind of hoping that maybe he'll get lucky, they can take it through a car wash and maybe it won't be so bad...but I'm not betting on it.
I already told Daughter that we're not a part of this. Her response was, "Neither am I!" I told her that The Ex had lent her car to Son, he was responsible for it, and it was between the two of them. Quite honestly though, I am fainthearted thinking about how The Ex probably reacted when she realized that her car is damaged. I've seen the fury she unleashes on Husband when he hasn't even done anything; Son and his friends actually wrecked her vehicle. It will probably be a cold day in hell before she lets Son borrow her vehicle again.
And I know it's not very nice of me, but I feel like this is karma throat-punching The Ex for being/saying/doing all of the terrible, horrible things that she is/does.
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