Daughter likes to talk.
Friday night, we talked to Son and explained why we were taking things away from him. We then went and talked to Daughter and told her that Son had lost his phone for lying, so if they went back up to The Ex's house- Daughter interrupted and said, "Don't let him leave?" Uh, no. I told her that if The Ex wants to let him leave her house, I have no control over that and it's not my business; however, Daughter was not to let Son use her phone. He lost access to his for a reason. Daughter said she understood.
That same night, I was driving Daughter over to her friend's house for a sleepover. She started saying that she didn't know if The Ex is going to let Son out of the house anymore. I asked why The Ex wouldn't let Son leave. Daughter said that Son has been pretty bad lately up at The Ex's. Daughter said that one day, Son wanted to go to his girlfriend's house; The Ex allowed him to go and told him to be home by 11pm. Daughter said that Son claimed that he was home by 11pm, but the door was locked. Daughter said that couldn't be true, because they have a passcode to unlock the door and The Ex never locks the bottom lock. Daughter said around 3-3:30am, Son decided to climb through the bathroom window and in the process he made a ton of noise, knocked everything over, woke up Ned, and got mud all over the house. (So he was allegedly home on time, but didn't crawl through the window for 4+ hours? Sounds like a load of crap to me.) Daughter said that The Ex let that one slide, because...I don't know why. I guess she was just going to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Daughter said another day, Son went to his girlfriend's and slept over; when he walked back home, he left his phone behind so he would have an excuse to walk back to her house later.
Daughter said yet another time, The Ex had told her and Son that they could walk over to her parents' trailer (It's only 2.5 miles. Kind of far, but not an insane distance.) Daughter said that Son decided to walk towards Tiny City, which is the opposite direction from where The Ex's parents live. Daughter said Son was trying to get a hold of his girlfriend but didn't have any reception or service. (I wasn't exaggerating when I called it Tiny City. There is nothing there.) Daughter said everytime Son picked up on free wi-fi somewhere, he'd try to connect so he could get a hold of his girlfriend. Daughter said they walked by the girlfriend's house but didn't stop. Daughter said after walking around for "like, an hour" they finally started heading towards The Ex's parents' home. As they were walking, Son's girlfriend finally reached him and asked if he wanted to come over. Daughter told Son she didn't want to go to the girlfriend's house just to be a third wheel, they already told their grandparents they were coming over, and that's where she wanted to go. Daughter said that she and Son started yelling at each other on the side of the road because Son wanted to go to his girlfriend's house and Daughter refused. The Ex's mom finally called and asked where they were. Daughter said they were in town, fighting because Son wanted to go to his girlfriend's house and she refused to go. The Ex's mom offered to pick up Daughter and did so, despite having next to no gas in her vehicle; Son walked to his girlfriend's house instead.
Daughter said there were other times that The Ex told Son to be home by a certain time and he didn't do as he was told. Daughter said that The Ex finally told Son that if he wanted to go anywhere, she was going to drive him because he wasn't listening.
Then Daughter started talking about The Ex and Ned; she said they got into an argument one day because Son told The Ex that he doesn't want Ned "helping" him. I asked what that was supposed to mean. Daughter said that Son did not want Ned treating him like he was Ned's child. I told Daughter that I didn't necessarily agree with that because if The Ex and Ned did get married, Ned would be their stepfather and a parental figure. I said that I'm their mom but I'm not their mom, and Ned would be their dad but he's not their dad. Daughter said she understood but said that she also told The Ex how she feels about Ned. (Oh boy....)
Daughter said that The Ex tells Ned every day not to give Lucifer one of their nice cups to drink from, because Lucifer bites his cups; their "nice" cups are hardened plastic so if/when they are bitten, it leaves scrapes and gouges. Despite her telling him all the time, Ned continues to give Lucifer these cups and The Ex continues to get angry; however if Daughter wants a cup to drink from, then Ned gives her a cheap little plastic cup that you would give to a toddler.
Daughter then said that if she is standing somewhere that Ned needs to get into, he pushes her out of the way. (...this is suddenly very much not okay.) I asked her to explain what that meant, thinking that I might be misunderstanding her. Daughter said, "Yeah, he literally shoves me out of his way. Like, I've had to grab his arm just to not fall over because he pushed me so hard." (What. The. F*CK.) Daughter said that she told The Ex she would prefer if Ned was rude and yelled, "Move!" rather than just pushing her.
I honestly don't know what to say to any of this anymore. I'm left wondering if it was Ned who locked Son out for not being home on time, which is where Son is getting this feeling that Ned is trying to act like his parent. Daughter told me awhile ago that when Ned tries to intervene between her and The Ex, she wants to tell him that it's not his business and to stay out of it, but she doesn't out of respect. Both kids response to being asked if they were happy that Ned proposed to The Ex was, "Well, I'm happy that she's happy..." Clearly, there is a major disconnect between the kids and Ned.
I once knew a woman who got had two kids before getting married; someone told me that at the wedding, the bride's son had gotten into an argument with her new husband. The same person commented, "I just don't understand how you can marry someone who your kids aren't comfortable with." And I agree, wholeheartedly. But, as we already know, it's not about the kids - it never was in the past and she's not going to change her tune now.
That same night, I was driving Daughter over to her friend's house for a sleepover. She started saying that she didn't know if The Ex is going to let Son out of the house anymore. I asked why The Ex wouldn't let Son leave. Daughter said that Son has been pretty bad lately up at The Ex's. Daughter said that one day, Son wanted to go to his girlfriend's house; The Ex allowed him to go and told him to be home by 11pm. Daughter said that Son claimed that he was home by 11pm, but the door was locked. Daughter said that couldn't be true, because they have a passcode to unlock the door and The Ex never locks the bottom lock. Daughter said around 3-3:30am, Son decided to climb through the bathroom window and in the process he made a ton of noise, knocked everything over, woke up Ned, and got mud all over the house. (So he was allegedly home on time, but didn't crawl through the window for 4+ hours? Sounds like a load of crap to me.) Daughter said that The Ex let that one slide, because...I don't know why. I guess she was just going to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Daughter said another day, Son went to his girlfriend's and slept over; when he walked back home, he left his phone behind so he would have an excuse to walk back to her house later.
Daughter said yet another time, The Ex had told her and Son that they could walk over to her parents' trailer (It's only 2.5 miles. Kind of far, but not an insane distance.) Daughter said that Son decided to walk towards Tiny City, which is the opposite direction from where The Ex's parents live. Daughter said Son was trying to get a hold of his girlfriend but didn't have any reception or service. (I wasn't exaggerating when I called it Tiny City. There is nothing there.) Daughter said everytime Son picked up on free wi-fi somewhere, he'd try to connect so he could get a hold of his girlfriend. Daughter said they walked by the girlfriend's house but didn't stop. Daughter said after walking around for "like, an hour" they finally started heading towards The Ex's parents' home. As they were walking, Son's girlfriend finally reached him and asked if he wanted to come over. Daughter told Son she didn't want to go to the girlfriend's house just to be a third wheel, they already told their grandparents they were coming over, and that's where she wanted to go. Daughter said that she and Son started yelling at each other on the side of the road because Son wanted to go to his girlfriend's house and Daughter refused. The Ex's mom finally called and asked where they were. Daughter said they were in town, fighting because Son wanted to go to his girlfriend's house and she refused to go. The Ex's mom offered to pick up Daughter and did so, despite having next to no gas in her vehicle; Son walked to his girlfriend's house instead.
Daughter said there were other times that The Ex told Son to be home by a certain time and he didn't do as he was told. Daughter said that The Ex finally told Son that if he wanted to go anywhere, she was going to drive him because he wasn't listening.
Then Daughter started talking about The Ex and Ned; she said they got into an argument one day because Son told The Ex that he doesn't want Ned "helping" him. I asked what that was supposed to mean. Daughter said that Son did not want Ned treating him like he was Ned's child. I told Daughter that I didn't necessarily agree with that because if The Ex and Ned did get married, Ned would be their stepfather and a parental figure. I said that I'm their mom but I'm not their mom, and Ned would be their dad but he's not their dad. Daughter said she understood but said that she also told The Ex how she feels about Ned. (Oh boy....)
Daughter said that The Ex tells Ned every day not to give Lucifer one of their nice cups to drink from, because Lucifer bites his cups; their "nice" cups are hardened plastic so if/when they are bitten, it leaves scrapes and gouges. Despite her telling him all the time, Ned continues to give Lucifer these cups and The Ex continues to get angry; however if Daughter wants a cup to drink from, then Ned gives her a cheap little plastic cup that you would give to a toddler.
Daughter then said that if she is standing somewhere that Ned needs to get into, he pushes her out of the way. (...this is suddenly very much not okay.) I asked her to explain what that meant, thinking that I might be misunderstanding her. Daughter said, "Yeah, he literally shoves me out of his way. Like, I've had to grab his arm just to not fall over because he pushed me so hard." (What. The. F*CK.) Daughter said that she told The Ex she would prefer if Ned was rude and yelled, "Move!" rather than just pushing her.
I honestly don't know what to say to any of this anymore. I'm left wondering if it was Ned who locked Son out for not being home on time, which is where Son is getting this feeling that Ned is trying to act like his parent. Daughter told me awhile ago that when Ned tries to intervene between her and The Ex, she wants to tell him that it's not his business and to stay out of it, but she doesn't out of respect. Both kids response to being asked if they were happy that Ned proposed to The Ex was, "Well, I'm happy that she's happy..." Clearly, there is a major disconnect between the kids and Ned.
I once knew a woman who got had two kids before getting married; someone told me that at the wedding, the bride's son had gotten into an argument with her new husband. The same person commented, "I just don't understand how you can marry someone who your kids aren't comfortable with." And I agree, wholeheartedly. But, as we already know, it's not about the kids - it never was in the past and she's not going to change her tune now.
Wow, just wow!
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