She paid someone money for this?
Over the years, we've kept our wallet from getting drained because Our Attorney and I work together on most everything. In fact, the last time we went to court, I had prepared all of the paperwork, had her review it, made all of the copies, filed the motion, served The Ex and Attorney 4, and submitted proof of service to the court. Our Attorney actually asked why we even needed her; I said because I'm not licensed by the state to practice law. So with that being said, I'm relatively familiar with the forms and what needs to be done.
The sheriff showed up at our house at 6am on Wednesday morning to serve Husband with this paperwork that The Ex filed. It appears that The Ex had Attorney 4 prepare the motion and notarize her signature, and that The Ex filed it herself. It was only 2 pages long but it's just chock-full of errors that I can't believe she actually gave them money to do this for her.
Page 1 was the notice of her motion and motion. It listed The Ex's first and maiden name, followed by "(F/N/A [Boyfriend's last name])" (It's supposed to be "F/K/A" - formerly known as.) It listed The Ex as the petitioner but did not list Husband as the respondent in the case. Underneath the header:
"Please take notice that the petitioner, will move the Court, the Honorable [judge's name], [courthouse address], on a date and time set by the court for an order based upon the attached Affidavit." (It's a little sloppy, but this isn't even the worst part.)
Page 2 was her affidavit in support of her motion:
"[The Ex, but listed with Boyfriend's last name], being first duly sworn, deposes and states on information and belief as follows:
1. I am the petitioner in the above-named case. I live in [Tiny City] [State] that is approximately 1 hour and 45 minute drive one-way to the respondent's home in [Our City].
The sheriff showed up at our house at 6am on Wednesday morning to serve Husband with this paperwork that The Ex filed. It appears that The Ex had Attorney 4 prepare the motion and notarize her signature, and that The Ex filed it herself. It was only 2 pages long but it's just chock-full of errors that I can't believe she actually gave them money to do this for her.
Page 1 was the notice of her motion and motion. It listed The Ex's first and maiden name, followed by "(F/N/A [Boyfriend's last name])" (It's supposed to be "F/K/A" - formerly known as.) It listed The Ex as the petitioner but did not list Husband as the respondent in the case. Underneath the header:
"Please take notice that the petitioner, will move the Court, the Honorable [judge's name], [courthouse address], on a date and time set by the court for an order based upon the attached Affidavit." (It's a little sloppy, but this isn't even the worst part.)
Page 2 was her affidavit in support of her motion:
"[The Ex, but listed with Boyfriend's last name], being first duly sworn, deposes and states on information and belief as follows:
1. I am the petitioner in the above-named case. I live in [Tiny City] [State] that is approximately 1 hour and 45 minute drive one-way to the respondent's home in [Our City].
2. The respondent and I have two children. I am asking that the court order regarding placement for my son, [Son's name misspelled], be modified. I am asking that the court order regarding my daughter not be changed.
3. [Son's name, misspelled for the second time] is 17 years old and will be 18 in July 2018. He attends school at [School City High School]. My son disclosed to me that he does not want to return to his school because he is trying to get out of a gang that he joined. My son has also made comments to me about wanting to kill himself rather than live in [Our City].
4. Therefore, I am requesting that the placement schedule for my son be modified."
Then she signed it with her maiden name, and Attorney 4 notarized it.
Let's break down this motion:
Paragraph 1:
I understand listing that you are the petitioner, but stating where you live and your distance from our home does nothing to support this motion.
Paragraph 2:
A. No, Husband has four children and you have four children. You and Husband share two children. Yes, I'm picking it apart because the court will understand whatever you write exactly as you wrote it, and to say that you have two children is incorrect on both of your parts.
B. Our Attorney already said that the court is not going to want to split up the kids, and I know for a fact that Daughter would never tell the courts she wanted to live primarily with The Ex.
C. Seriously, you couldn't even check the spelling of your own child's name??
Paragraph 3:
A. Son's name is misspelled. Again.
B. School City has a population of less than 1,200 people. There is no gang here, other than Son and his friends pretending that they are in one. No shootings, no robberies, no muggings, no rapes, etc etc etc. The judge lives in this county and hears all types of cases, so he would know if there's a gang here or not.
C. If I had a nickel for every time a teenager said, "I'd rather kill myself than...", I'd be sipping margaritas on a beach in Mexico and wouldn't have to come to work every day because I would be a trillionaire. Kids say stupid things all the time. I don't know that Son actually said this and, even if he did, I wouldn't have taken that as a suicide threat; it sounds to me like he's just being dramatic.
D. Son behaves immensely better with us than he does with The Ex, but he allegedly joined a gang while he was here. Can you even imagine the hell he'd be raising if he lived with her?
Paragraph 4:
So essentially, The Ex is asking the court to schedule a hearing to modify placement and her only grounds for requesting any of this is hearsay. She's claiming that Son told her all of these things, yet I have screenshots of Son telling people he doesn't want to go to school in Tiny City, or saying that the only reason he previously wanted to go to Tiny City was to try and make things work with Girlfriend. Son is, quite simply, a hot damn mess who has no idea what he wants. And that's what The Ex is going to use as the basis of her argument.
Oh, and two days after filing this, The Ex and Ned went on vacation by themselves and left the kids at home with her parents. Because clearly, she is so very worried about Son. I mean, look at how she took the time to make sure his name was spelled properly on the paperwork she filed...
Then she signed it with her maiden name, and Attorney 4 notarized it.
Let's break down this motion:
Paragraph 1:
I understand listing that you are the petitioner, but stating where you live and your distance from our home does nothing to support this motion.
Paragraph 2:
A. No, Husband has four children and you have four children. You and Husband share two children. Yes, I'm picking it apart because the court will understand whatever you write exactly as you wrote it, and to say that you have two children is incorrect on both of your parts.
B. Our Attorney already said that the court is not going to want to split up the kids, and I know for a fact that Daughter would never tell the courts she wanted to live primarily with The Ex.
C. Seriously, you couldn't even check the spelling of your own child's name??
Paragraph 3:
A. Son's name is misspelled. Again.
B. School City has a population of less than 1,200 people. There is no gang here, other than Son and his friends pretending that they are in one. No shootings, no robberies, no muggings, no rapes, etc etc etc. The judge lives in this county and hears all types of cases, so he would know if there's a gang here or not.
C. If I had a nickel for every time a teenager said, "I'd rather kill myself than...", I'd be sipping margaritas on a beach in Mexico and wouldn't have to come to work every day because I would be a trillionaire. Kids say stupid things all the time. I don't know that Son actually said this and, even if he did, I wouldn't have taken that as a suicide threat; it sounds to me like he's just being dramatic.
D. Son behaves immensely better with us than he does with The Ex, but he allegedly joined a gang while he was here. Can you even imagine the hell he'd be raising if he lived with her?
Paragraph 4:
So essentially, The Ex is asking the court to schedule a hearing to modify placement and her only grounds for requesting any of this is hearsay. She's claiming that Son told her all of these things, yet I have screenshots of Son telling people he doesn't want to go to school in Tiny City, or saying that the only reason he previously wanted to go to Tiny City was to try and make things work with Girlfriend. Son is, quite simply, a hot damn mess who has no idea what he wants. And that's what The Ex is going to use as the basis of her argument.
Oh, and two days after filing this, The Ex and Ned went on vacation by themselves and left the kids at home with her parents. Because clearly, she is so very worried about Son. I mean, look at how she took the time to make sure his name was spelled properly on the paperwork she filed...
Oh my goodness, she is her own circus.
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