Baby pictures and cars
Son needs baby pictures for the slideshow at the graduation ceremony. We have some pictures of him when he was younger, which we got from Husband's family members. We don't have any baby pictures because The Ex refused to let Husband have any when they split up.
Son told The Ex on Friday morning that he needed pictures. She said to remind her later because she wasn't home. Son reminded The Ex again on Friday afternoon. Son reminded The Ex on Saturday night that he needed baby pictures.
The Ex decided to start going through baby pictures on Sunday afternoon. Daughter texted me at 4:20pm saying they were running late because The Ex was getting baby pictures for Son. (Reminder: the kids are supposed to be dropped off at 5:30pm. That's the court-ordered exchange time, which The Ex requested.) When they still weren't home at 6:30pm, I texted Daughter asking where they were. No answer. I texted The Ex asking if she knew where the kids were. (I had no idea if she was bringing them, if her parents were bringing them, if her sister was bringing them, etc.) Still no answer. Finally Daughter texted me back and said they were in Our City.
The kids finally walked in the door at 7pm; Daughter started saying again that The Ex was getting baby pictures for Son. (Yeah, okay. Because he only told her about it for over 2 days. But sure, that's why you're an hour and half late coming home.)
Yesterday morning, Son told The Ex that he forgot the CD in his brother's carseat. (I'm assuming they took his baby pictures to the store, scanned them, and burned them on a CD. That was somehow easier than The Ex or Son taking a picture with their phone. I'm going to assume that The Ex was trying to make sure that Husband definitely does not get a hold of Son's baby pictures. Oh, and thanks for bringing them home late and not making sure he took a damn CD with him, which was the entire "reason" they were late.) The Ex asked how Son was going to get them. Son said he guessed he wasn't going to. The Ex asked if he could drive to meet her halfway. (Big nope on that one. I'll explain why below.) Son said he didn't know. (Son hasn't said a word to us about these pictures; getting them, sending them in, picking up the CD from The Ex.)
I blame The Ex and Son equally for this. This wouldn't be such a huge problem if The Ex hadn't moved 2 hours away from us. The Ex should've gotten the pictures the first night he asked her, not waited until the last second like she does with everything in her life. Son should have remembered the CD. The Ex should have asked him if he had it when he got out of the vehicle.
Honestly, I'd say that it's Son's responsibility to drive up to Tiny City and get the CD/pictures himself, not ask The Ex to drive halfway down to meet him. But he's not taking the car anywhere. The biggest reason is that we bought this car twenty-seven months ago, and made it very clear at that point in time that it was a loan and Son was going to have to pay us back for it. Son said he knew and understood that.
A few months ago, he was talking about selling the car; when Husband told him he can't sell it because he hasn't paid for it, Son got angry. In December, he put the car in the ditch and smashed the windshield. Shortly after this, he got angry over who-knows-what and said he wasn't fixing the windshield because we "probably wouldn't give him the car back anyway." Husband told him he had to fix it regardless. Son asked why; Husband said because it's our car and he broke it, so he has to fix what he broke.
Son talked to his counselor and my dad, finally manned up and said he wanted to get the windshield fixed, pay off the car, and title it in his name. So in February, we got the windshield fixed which Son paid for; he also made his first payment to us. To date, he's made two payments for a grand total of $200. That's it.
Son asked a month or two back about driving to Tiny City to see Girlfriend; Husband told him he didn't want him taking the car that far without it being paid for. Son got upset and Husband said that we don't want him taking the car, going in a ditch again or getting into an accident, and then deciding he's not going to repay us for a car that he destroyed. Son said he wouldn't do that. Husband pointed out that Son wrecked the windshield, then told us he wasn't going to pay for it because he was upset about something else. Husband said he couldn't trust that Son was, in fact, going to repay us for the car and until it was paid for, Son could use it for school, work, medical/dental appointments, or hanging out with friends here - he didn't need to drive over 90 miles one way for a 48-hour visit.
Son has had two jobs since we got the car, and now has an apprenticeship job that's paying him $12.50/hr. (He's only 17 years old, earning $12.50/hr with no qualifications, and is working at a company that would probably pay for him to get certified in his field and give him a huge pay raise once he gets his degree; they also offer health benefits and a 401k. Son is planning to quit this amazing job in order to move up to Tiny City to be with Girlfriend.) He gets an early release from school for this job, so his paychecks are minimally $150/week but he's worked longer some days and once he actually brought home nearly $300 for one week of work. His only bills are car insurance, gas, and his cell phone. But again, he's made only two payments to us.
Son spends his money on XBox Live, shoes/clothing/jewelry from Wish, fast food, and I don't know what else. He had a weeklong spring break, only went to work 2 of those days, and then actually complained a week later that he "didn't have any money." He's had more than ample time and opportunity to pay this car off, he just hasn't done it because all the little things he wants here and there take precedence over owning a vehicle.
Son told Girlfriend the other day that he's going to grab his stuff and drive up to Tiny City right after graduation. I don't know if he thinks that we're letting him take the car if it's unpaid but, uh....no. No, we aren't.
But anyway, back to the pictures. I found out mid-blog that The Ex's sister drove all the way down here to drop off the CD. Because once again, The Ex has more important things to deal with than her own children.
Son told The Ex on Friday morning that he needed pictures. She said to remind her later because she wasn't home. Son reminded The Ex again on Friday afternoon. Son reminded The Ex on Saturday night that he needed baby pictures.
The Ex decided to start going through baby pictures on Sunday afternoon. Daughter texted me at 4:20pm saying they were running late because The Ex was getting baby pictures for Son. (Reminder: the kids are supposed to be dropped off at 5:30pm. That's the court-ordered exchange time, which The Ex requested.) When they still weren't home at 6:30pm, I texted Daughter asking where they were. No answer. I texted The Ex asking if she knew where the kids were. (I had no idea if she was bringing them, if her parents were bringing them, if her sister was bringing them, etc.) Still no answer. Finally Daughter texted me back and said they were in Our City.
The kids finally walked in the door at 7pm; Daughter started saying again that The Ex was getting baby pictures for Son. (Yeah, okay. Because he only told her about it for over 2 days. But sure, that's why you're an hour and half late coming home.)
Yesterday morning, Son told The Ex that he forgot the CD in his brother's carseat. (I'm assuming they took his baby pictures to the store, scanned them, and burned them on a CD. That was somehow easier than The Ex or Son taking a picture with their phone. I'm going to assume that The Ex was trying to make sure that Husband definitely does not get a hold of Son's baby pictures. Oh, and thanks for bringing them home late and not making sure he took a damn CD with him, which was the entire "reason" they were late.) The Ex asked how Son was going to get them. Son said he guessed he wasn't going to. The Ex asked if he could drive to meet her halfway. (Big nope on that one. I'll explain why below.) Son said he didn't know. (Son hasn't said a word to us about these pictures; getting them, sending them in, picking up the CD from The Ex.)
I blame The Ex and Son equally for this. This wouldn't be such a huge problem if The Ex hadn't moved 2 hours away from us. The Ex should've gotten the pictures the first night he asked her, not waited until the last second like she does with everything in her life. Son should have remembered the CD. The Ex should have asked him if he had it when he got out of the vehicle.
Honestly, I'd say that it's Son's responsibility to drive up to Tiny City and get the CD/pictures himself, not ask The Ex to drive halfway down to meet him. But he's not taking the car anywhere. The biggest reason is that we bought this car twenty-seven months ago, and made it very clear at that point in time that it was a loan and Son was going to have to pay us back for it. Son said he knew and understood that.
A few months ago, he was talking about selling the car; when Husband told him he can't sell it because he hasn't paid for it, Son got angry. In December, he put the car in the ditch and smashed the windshield. Shortly after this, he got angry over who-knows-what and said he wasn't fixing the windshield because we "probably wouldn't give him the car back anyway." Husband told him he had to fix it regardless. Son asked why; Husband said because it's our car and he broke it, so he has to fix what he broke.
Son talked to his counselor and my dad, finally manned up and said he wanted to get the windshield fixed, pay off the car, and title it in his name. So in February, we got the windshield fixed which Son paid for; he also made his first payment to us. To date, he's made two payments for a grand total of $200. That's it.
Son asked a month or two back about driving to Tiny City to see Girlfriend; Husband told him he didn't want him taking the car that far without it being paid for. Son got upset and Husband said that we don't want him taking the car, going in a ditch again or getting into an accident, and then deciding he's not going to repay us for a car that he destroyed. Son said he wouldn't do that. Husband pointed out that Son wrecked the windshield, then told us he wasn't going to pay for it because he was upset about something else. Husband said he couldn't trust that Son was, in fact, going to repay us for the car and until it was paid for, Son could use it for school, work, medical/dental appointments, or hanging out with friends here - he didn't need to drive over 90 miles one way for a 48-hour visit.
Son has had two jobs since we got the car, and now has an apprenticeship job that's paying him $12.50/hr. (He's only 17 years old, earning $12.50/hr with no qualifications, and is working at a company that would probably pay for him to get certified in his field and give him a huge pay raise once he gets his degree; they also offer health benefits and a 401k. Son is planning to quit this amazing job in order to move up to Tiny City to be with Girlfriend.) He gets an early release from school for this job, so his paychecks are minimally $150/week but he's worked longer some days and once he actually brought home nearly $300 for one week of work. His only bills are car insurance, gas, and his cell phone. But again, he's made only two payments to us.
Son spends his money on XBox Live, shoes/clothing/jewelry from Wish, fast food, and I don't know what else. He had a weeklong spring break, only went to work 2 of those days, and then actually complained a week later that he "didn't have any money." He's had more than ample time and opportunity to pay this car off, he just hasn't done it because all the little things he wants here and there take precedence over owning a vehicle.
Son told Girlfriend the other day that he's going to grab his stuff and drive up to Tiny City right after graduation. I don't know if he thinks that we're letting him take the car if it's unpaid but, uh....no. No, we aren't.
But anyway, back to the pictures. I found out mid-blog that The Ex's sister drove all the way down here to drop off the CD. Because once again, The Ex has more important things to deal with than her own children.
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