Daughter is getting tired of it.
(I started blogging about this weeks ago, but it fell by the wayside when we were dealing with all that crap with Son. I'm going to try and edit it so what I wrote then will be what I would write now.)
About a month or two ago, I talked to Daughter about The Ex still wanting to go to mediation over summer placement. Typically, I keep the kids out of the court stuff because...well, they're kids. They don't want or need that burden. Just because The Ex is always telling them about court, child support, lawyer fees, etc., doesn't mean we're going to stoop to that level. But I felt this was important.
I asked if The Ex had brought it up at all; Daughter said yes. I asked Daughter what she wanted to do, because if she preferred to get picked up Sunday night instead of Monday night, then Husband and The Ex could just agree to it and a court hearing wouldn't be necessary. Daughter said that she wanted to leave things the way that they are - she wants to get picked up on Mondays in the summer. Daughter also said that in the past, she had mentioned to The Ex that she wanted to spend more time here in the summer but The Ex usually ignored her or they would get into a fight. I told Daughter if that's what she really wanted, then we could go back to court for it but she'd have to tell The Ex and probably a guardian ad litem/a judge what she wanted. I said if it's not what she wanted, then we'd leave it alone; if she wanted us to push for it, then we could but we needed to be on the same page. Daughter said she would talk to The Ex about it. (Y'all need to pray for this child. It's like she's got a death wish that she doesn't know about.)
On a Sunday night, the kids got dropped off. The neighbors were over with their kids, who Daughter is close friends with. Daughter says that she and The Ex got into a fight over the weekend. I ask why. Daughter said The Ex brought up that she wants to pick up Daughter on Sundays in the summer; Daughter told her that she didn't want that, she wanted to be picked up on Mondays. Daughter says, "Of course, she got mad and took it as I 'don't want to spend time with her.'" Daughter said she told The Ex that she did want to spend time with her, but she didn't have any friends in Tiny City. The Ex responded that's why Daughter needs to get a job in Tiny City, so she can make friends up there. (The Ex has lived in Tiny City for almost 3 years. She's never once required Son to get a job, but she has repeatedly told Daughter that she needs to get one.) Daughter then mentioned that she would prefer to get a job in Our City and spend more time with her friends over the summer. Daughter said that The Ex responded by turning around in her seat and refusing to talk to her about it. I asked Daughter if she wanted Husband to email The Ex about it. Daughter said no, because then The Ex will accuse Husband of asking for it because he wants it; Daughter said she would rather do it herself because then The Ex will know that she is the one asking for it.
Since then, it's been the same scenario. Daughter brings it up, The Ex makes excuses as to why she should spend the summer in Tiny City, repeat. Daughter said this past week that she spent most of her first week in Tiny City at her grandparents' place, not at Ned's house. She said at one point her aunt had driven her over there and The Ex completely ignored her. Not as in, she wasn't giving her attention. As in, The Ex wouldn't even talk to Daughter. Daughter said she even went to give The Ex a kiss, and The Ex just kept pretending she wasn't even there. Daughter said she told The Ex that if she was just going to ignore her, she was just going to go back over to The Ex's parents' home; The Ex still ignored her.
Daughter did finally ask if Husband could try talking to The Ex about it because when she tries, The Ex won't talk to her about it. Daughter says she wants to spend more time with her friends; The Ex tells her to have her friends come to Tiny City. Daughter says she doesn't do anything in Tiny City and wants to enjoy her summer break; The Ex tells her to get a job in Tiny City to pass the time. It doesn't matter that Daughter is asking for it - it's not what The Ex wants so she's not going to even entertain the thought of it.
Daughter is supposed to get picked up today at 5:30pm. She said she's just going to tell The Ex that she doesn't want to come back and that someone (The Ex, her parents, one of her siblings) can pick her up on Saturday instead. I told her good luck; she said, "It shouldn't matter. Mom doesn't pay attention to me when I'm there anyway, so why do I need to be there?" And if we were dealing with a rational person, that would be a totally logical thought. But we're dealing with a narcissist and she wants everything done her way, regardless of how irrational it is. Daughter is practically begging to stay here but that isn't what The Ex wants, so she won't allow it.
*** Edit: Daughter just sent me a screenshot of her text conversation with The Ex from today.
10:04am - Daughter - Can i stay longer?
12:33pm - The Ex - W E
12:36pm - Daughter - What?
12:36pm - The Ex - Do what ever
12:37pm - Daughter - Soo?
Daughter said about 20 minutes later, The Ex asked when she will be coming back. I said that's up to The Ex, we don't mind if she stays. Daughter said she told her Thursday. So I guess Thursday it is....
About a month or two ago, I talked to Daughter about The Ex still wanting to go to mediation over summer placement. Typically, I keep the kids out of the court stuff because...well, they're kids. They don't want or need that burden. Just because The Ex is always telling them about court, child support, lawyer fees, etc., doesn't mean we're going to stoop to that level. But I felt this was important.
I asked if The Ex had brought it up at all; Daughter said yes. I asked Daughter what she wanted to do, because if she preferred to get picked up Sunday night instead of Monday night, then Husband and The Ex could just agree to it and a court hearing wouldn't be necessary. Daughter said that she wanted to leave things the way that they are - she wants to get picked up on Mondays in the summer. Daughter also said that in the past, she had mentioned to The Ex that she wanted to spend more time here in the summer but The Ex usually ignored her or they would get into a fight. I told Daughter if that's what she really wanted, then we could go back to court for it but she'd have to tell The Ex and probably a guardian ad litem/a judge what she wanted. I said if it's not what she wanted, then we'd leave it alone; if she wanted us to push for it, then we could but we needed to be on the same page. Daughter said she would talk to The Ex about it. (Y'all need to pray for this child. It's like she's got a death wish that she doesn't know about.)
On a Sunday night, the kids got dropped off. The neighbors were over with their kids, who Daughter is close friends with. Daughter says that she and The Ex got into a fight over the weekend. I ask why. Daughter said The Ex brought up that she wants to pick up Daughter on Sundays in the summer; Daughter told her that she didn't want that, she wanted to be picked up on Mondays. Daughter says, "Of course, she got mad and took it as I 'don't want to spend time with her.'" Daughter said she told The Ex that she did want to spend time with her, but she didn't have any friends in Tiny City. The Ex responded that's why Daughter needs to get a job in Tiny City, so she can make friends up there. (The Ex has lived in Tiny City for almost 3 years. She's never once required Son to get a job, but she has repeatedly told Daughter that she needs to get one.) Daughter then mentioned that she would prefer to get a job in Our City and spend more time with her friends over the summer. Daughter said that The Ex responded by turning around in her seat and refusing to talk to her about it. I asked Daughter if she wanted Husband to email The Ex about it. Daughter said no, because then The Ex will accuse Husband of asking for it because he wants it; Daughter said she would rather do it herself because then The Ex will know that she is the one asking for it.
Since then, it's been the same scenario. Daughter brings it up, The Ex makes excuses as to why she should spend the summer in Tiny City, repeat. Daughter said this past week that she spent most of her first week in Tiny City at her grandparents' place, not at Ned's house. She said at one point her aunt had driven her over there and The Ex completely ignored her. Not as in, she wasn't giving her attention. As in, The Ex wouldn't even talk to Daughter. Daughter said she even went to give The Ex a kiss, and The Ex just kept pretending she wasn't even there. Daughter said she told The Ex that if she was just going to ignore her, she was just going to go back over to The Ex's parents' home; The Ex still ignored her.
Daughter did finally ask if Husband could try talking to The Ex about it because when she tries, The Ex won't talk to her about it. Daughter says she wants to spend more time with her friends; The Ex tells her to have her friends come to Tiny City. Daughter says she doesn't do anything in Tiny City and wants to enjoy her summer break; The Ex tells her to get a job in Tiny City to pass the time. It doesn't matter that Daughter is asking for it - it's not what The Ex wants so she's not going to even entertain the thought of it.
Daughter is supposed to get picked up today at 5:30pm. She said she's just going to tell The Ex that she doesn't want to come back and that someone (The Ex, her parents, one of her siblings) can pick her up on Saturday instead. I told her good luck; she said, "It shouldn't matter. Mom doesn't pay attention to me when I'm there anyway, so why do I need to be there?" And if we were dealing with a rational person, that would be a totally logical thought. But we're dealing with a narcissist and she wants everything done her way, regardless of how irrational it is. Daughter is practically begging to stay here but that isn't what The Ex wants, so she won't allow it.
*** Edit: Daughter just sent me a screenshot of her text conversation with The Ex from today.
10:04am - Daughter - Can i stay longer?
12:33pm - The Ex - W E
12:36pm - Daughter - What?
12:36pm - The Ex - Do what ever
12:37pm - Daughter - Soo?
Daughter said about 20 minutes later, The Ex asked when she will be coming back. I said that's up to The Ex, we don't mind if she stays. Daughter said she told her Thursday. So I guess Thursday it is....
Comments
Post a Comment