She's met her equal.
Daughter started talking again last week. I don't remember how we got on the topic, but she said that The Ex's daughter "wants [Ned] to adopt her." (This girl is 10 years old. You know what I was doing at 10 years old? Wondering when I could next have a sleepover with my friends. The Ex was asking Son and Daughter if they "could see [Ned] as a father figure" when she'd only been dating him for a few months. Knowing The Ex and how she is, I don't believe this is a genuine thought that this child had on her own; I think it's an idea that The Ex planted in her head and continues to feed.) I was kind of surprised and Daughter said, "Well, I mean...I get it. [The Ex's two youngest kids'] dad isn't around, so..." (A friend of mine commented, "Yes, their dad is not around. So for all intents and purposes, Ned is already her 'dad.' Why would she be thinking about adoption?")
Then, in what was probably the saddest statement of the year, Daughter said, "He treats them better than he treats me, so I guess it makes sense." I told Daughter that wasn't okay for Ned to do that, and said my next line of thought would be, "So he treats you differently than your siblings, why? And when is he going to start treating them differently, too?" Daughter said she didn't know but reiterated that she just doesn't like Ned, and then started talking about Ned's ex-wife and Lucifer.
Daughter started saying how Ned doesn't discipline Lucifer and The Ex gets on him about it, telling him that he needs to follow through with things. (This, coming from The Ex's mouth. HA.) Daughter said Ned has gotten better, but the way she was speaking was almost like she was indicating it's too late for Lucifer to learn to behave; he's learned to be naughty and what's done is done. I told her that no, it's not just done and over with. I said that kids do what you allow them to do; Lucifer is only seven years old so it's not like he's a lost cause at this point.
Daughter then said that Lucifer had gotten suspended from school. I asked what he had done. Daughter said he was hitting other kids with a sweatshirt. I said no, I'm sorry, but they don't suspend second-grade children for that, and something more must have happened. Daughter said that was only one thing; she said that Lucifer ignored his teachers, he would lie and say he didn't hear them calling him or telling him to stop doing something. She said Lucifer has hit other kids in the past, so that was probably part of it. Daughter said that Lucifer had gotten suspended on a Friday, and Ned didn't even talk to him about it; The Ex talked to him about it on Saturday.
Daughter then said that during some conversation about disciplining kids, she said that when she didn't listen as a child, she got a wooden spoon on her butt. Ned said, "What, from your dad?" Daughter said no, Husband used a belt and The Ex used a spoon. (I almost drove off the road when this came out of her mouth.) I interrupted her and said that Husband never hit them with a belt. (I'm going to touch on this subject in a minute, but let's keep going for now.) Daughter kind of glossed over it and kept talking about Ned not disciplining Lucifer at all, and said it's gotten so bad that Ned was considering terminating his parental rights. (Of course he would. Why would he need his own child? He's got two new ones to call him "Daddy." This guy is the biggest pussy that I know, honestly. "Oh no, parenting is hard. I guess I'd better bail on the child I chose to create; that would be the easiest thing for me.") Daughter pointed out that wasn't going to be any better for Lucifer if he was just stuck with his mom all the time. (I don't know Lucifer's mom enough to make this judgment, but I'm sure this wasn't Daughter's own thought; she was repeating whatever The Ex had said about the matter. And once again, I predicted all of this a very long time ago. I told my friends that The Ex was going to convince Ned to marry her, adopt her kids, and then when she left him, she'd collect child support while alienating him from the kids the same way she did to Husband and Boyfriend. I even speculated about Ned terminating his rights and what do you know, the idiot was considering it.)
Daughter went on to say that Lucifer's mom was crazy, she always spoke badly about Ned and The Ex, she didn't discipline Lucifer, etc. Daughter said that Ned's ex had taken out two restraining orders against him. (She filed once, in the middle of their divorce. A hearing was held and the court ruled against her; I don't know when a second restraining order became part of the story, but it's not on the court record.) I was biting my tongue so very hard because every single example she gave of Lucifer's mom being a bad person was all things that The Ex had said/done to Husband at one point or another. Daughter brought up again how Lucifer's mom had kicked their dog "for no reason." (I thought I had blogged about this before, but I can't find it. Apparently, she came over to drop off or pick up Lucifer and The Ex's dog came running out of the house barking at her; she called the police, told them she kicked the dog because she was scared, and The Ex was having a confrontation with her.) Daughter was saying how they have an invisible fence at Ned's house so the dogs can't go past the mailbox (Remember this, because I'm going to blog about it later.) so the dog wasn't going to hurt her at all, and repeated that she kicked the dog for no reason. I told Daughter that I remembered her telling me about this in the past; I said I had questioned at that time that if the dog couldn't leave the yard and Ned's ex was standing in the road, then how was she able to kick him? I reminded Daughter that when I asked this the first time, nobody had an answer for it. (Neither Son or Daughter was at Ned's house when this happened, yet they both told me about it. So let's be honest: The Ex completely twisted the story to make Ned's ex look like a psychopath and their poor, innocent dog was kicked for "no reason." I'll get to that in another blog post.) Daughter then said that Ned's ex was walking up to the house and that's when she kicked their dog. (Totally different from what they told me three years ago, but we know how The Ex likes to lie and change her stories.)
We got home, I went inside and told Husband what Daughter had said about him allegedly hitting Daughter and/or Son with a belt. He thought I was kidding at first. I said no, Daughter actually thinks that he hit them with a belt when they were kids; I told him he needed to discuss this with her because a)it wasn't true and b)that's not an okay thing to believe when it's not true. Husband brought it up to her later; she seemed surprised when he said he never hit either one of them with a belt.
I know The Ex is insane, I know she's a compulsive liar. But the fact that she could put this idea into her kids' heads for nothing other than her own petty revenge on Husband, simply because he didn't want to be married to her anymore? And to top it off, I met Husband when Daughter was just over 3 1/2 years old; he and The Ex had been separated for almost a year. You mean to tell me that Husband was using a belt on a toddler?! I can't be mad at the kids because this is part of parental alienation; kids are convinced that they "remember" things that did/didn't happen with the Target Parent, they "remember" things that were/weren't said by the Target Parent.
This makes me sick. The whole situation with The Ex, both by herself and with Ned, is such an abomination. I don't know how either of these people can sleep at night.
Then, in what was probably the saddest statement of the year, Daughter said, "He treats them better than he treats me, so I guess it makes sense." I told Daughter that wasn't okay for Ned to do that, and said my next line of thought would be, "So he treats you differently than your siblings, why? And when is he going to start treating them differently, too?" Daughter said she didn't know but reiterated that she just doesn't like Ned, and then started talking about Ned's ex-wife and Lucifer.
Daughter started saying how Ned doesn't discipline Lucifer and The Ex gets on him about it, telling him that he needs to follow through with things. (This, coming from The Ex's mouth. HA.) Daughter said Ned has gotten better, but the way she was speaking was almost like she was indicating it's too late for Lucifer to learn to behave; he's learned to be naughty and what's done is done. I told her that no, it's not just done and over with. I said that kids do what you allow them to do; Lucifer is only seven years old so it's not like he's a lost cause at this point.
Daughter then said that Lucifer had gotten suspended from school. I asked what he had done. Daughter said he was hitting other kids with a sweatshirt. I said no, I'm sorry, but they don't suspend second-grade children for that, and something more must have happened. Daughter said that was only one thing; she said that Lucifer ignored his teachers, he would lie and say he didn't hear them calling him or telling him to stop doing something. She said Lucifer has hit other kids in the past, so that was probably part of it. Daughter said that Lucifer had gotten suspended on a Friday, and Ned didn't even talk to him about it; The Ex talked to him about it on Saturday.
Daughter then said that during some conversation about disciplining kids, she said that when she didn't listen as a child, she got a wooden spoon on her butt. Ned said, "What, from your dad?" Daughter said no, Husband used a belt and The Ex used a spoon. (I almost drove off the road when this came out of her mouth.) I interrupted her and said that Husband never hit them with a belt. (I'm going to touch on this subject in a minute, but let's keep going for now.) Daughter kind of glossed over it and kept talking about Ned not disciplining Lucifer at all, and said it's gotten so bad that Ned was considering terminating his parental rights. (Of course he would. Why would he need his own child? He's got two new ones to call him "Daddy." This guy is the biggest pussy that I know, honestly. "Oh no, parenting is hard. I guess I'd better bail on the child I chose to create; that would be the easiest thing for me.") Daughter pointed out that wasn't going to be any better for Lucifer if he was just stuck with his mom all the time. (I don't know Lucifer's mom enough to make this judgment, but I'm sure this wasn't Daughter's own thought; she was repeating whatever The Ex had said about the matter. And once again, I predicted all of this a very long time ago. I told my friends that The Ex was going to convince Ned to marry her, adopt her kids, and then when she left him, she'd collect child support while alienating him from the kids the same way she did to Husband and Boyfriend. I even speculated about Ned terminating his rights and what do you know, the idiot was considering it.)
Daughter went on to say that Lucifer's mom was crazy, she always spoke badly about Ned and The Ex, she didn't discipline Lucifer, etc. Daughter said that Ned's ex had taken out two restraining orders against him. (She filed once, in the middle of their divorce. A hearing was held and the court ruled against her; I don't know when a second restraining order became part of the story, but it's not on the court record.) I was biting my tongue so very hard because every single example she gave of Lucifer's mom being a bad person was all things that The Ex had said/done to Husband at one point or another. Daughter brought up again how Lucifer's mom had kicked their dog "for no reason." (I thought I had blogged about this before, but I can't find it. Apparently, she came over to drop off or pick up Lucifer and The Ex's dog came running out of the house barking at her; she called the police, told them she kicked the dog because she was scared, and The Ex was having a confrontation with her.) Daughter was saying how they have an invisible fence at Ned's house so the dogs can't go past the mailbox (Remember this, because I'm going to blog about it later.) so the dog wasn't going to hurt her at all, and repeated that she kicked the dog for no reason. I told Daughter that I remembered her telling me about this in the past; I said I had questioned at that time that if the dog couldn't leave the yard and Ned's ex was standing in the road, then how was she able to kick him? I reminded Daughter that when I asked this the first time, nobody had an answer for it. (Neither Son or Daughter was at Ned's house when this happened, yet they both told me about it. So let's be honest: The Ex completely twisted the story to make Ned's ex look like a psychopath and their poor, innocent dog was kicked for "no reason." I'll get to that in another blog post.) Daughter then said that Ned's ex was walking up to the house and that's when she kicked their dog. (Totally different from what they told me three years ago, but we know how The Ex likes to lie and change her stories.)
We got home, I went inside and told Husband what Daughter had said about him allegedly hitting Daughter and/or Son with a belt. He thought I was kidding at first. I said no, Daughter actually thinks that he hit them with a belt when they were kids; I told him he needed to discuss this with her because a)it wasn't true and b)that's not an okay thing to believe when it's not true. Husband brought it up to her later; she seemed surprised when he said he never hit either one of them with a belt.
I know The Ex is insane, I know she's a compulsive liar. But the fact that she could put this idea into her kids' heads for nothing other than her own petty revenge on Husband, simply because he didn't want to be married to her anymore? And to top it off, I met Husband when Daughter was just over 3 1/2 years old; he and The Ex had been separated for almost a year. You mean to tell me that Husband was using a belt on a toddler?! I can't be mad at the kids because this is part of parental alienation; kids are convinced that they "remember" things that did/didn't happen with the Target Parent, they "remember" things that were/weren't said by the Target Parent.
This makes me sick. The whole situation with The Ex, both by herself and with Ned, is such an abomination. I don't know how either of these people can sleep at night.
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