Ned.
Husband's and/or my interactions with Ned have been extremely limited and short. We've never really talked to him about much so we've never really gotten to know him. Most of what we know about Ned is whatever Daughter tells us.
Daughter hasn't kept it a secret that she doesn't like Ned, she doesn't consider Ned to be her parent, and that she doesn't think that The Ex should be with Ned. Have you ever seen that e-card that says, "Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. 'Look at this bitch eating those crackers like she owns the place.'"? I feel like that's the level that Daughter is on with Ned. While I don't think it was right for him to make fat jokes about her, I wonder if he truly just clueless and didn't understand how that would be offensive.
The day that our grandson was born, we spent quite a few hours with/around Ned. He was....very nice, actually. He initiated conversation with Husband, the two of them talked quite a bit with The Ex's dad, Ned even talked to me. Ned had some LifeSavers or something similar which he offered to everyone, me and Husband included. In fact, Ned actually made a joke. (I know, right?!) Husband was sitting in front of a vending machine inside the waiting room and he accidentally kept bumping the buttons with his head or hands; after the second or third time, Ned asked, "Are you gonna buy something, or what?"
Of course, all of these pleasantries did not take place while The Ex was present; I'm sure she would have crucified Ned if she knew that he was even remotely amicable toward either of us. But overall, it really wasn't that bad spending a good portion of eight hours with him.
When the baby was born, Son, The Ex, and Girlfriend's mom were all in the room for the delivery. Once they got the baby cleaned up, a nurse came out and said she had a very specific request for just the two grandpas to come into the room. Ned started to stand up. I tapped Husband's chair with my foot because he was kind of zoning out; I told him that he and Girlfriend's dad needed to go into the room. Ned stretched a little bit and then walked outside of the maternity ward to go check on The Ex's kids. As soon as he left, Daughter said, "Did you see [Ned] get all mad?" I tried to play it off and said I thought he was just stretching. Daughter said, "No, he was standing up like he was going to go in there when they said only two grandpas. But then Dad and [Girlfriend's dad] got up, so he got all butthurt and left." Which, okay...maybe he was, but I wasn't going to be petty and throw him under the bus when Daughter was already sitting behind the wheel and revving the engine.
As we were leaving the hospital, everyone was congratulating each other. Husband shook The Ex's dad's hand and told him congratulations on being a great-grandpa again. Her dad returned the congratulations to Husband; he even shook my hand and told me congrats and called me "Grandma" which I thought was sweet of him. Husband was mature enough to shake both The Ex's hand and Ned's hand, wishing both of them congratulations; they both told him the same. I didn't shake either of their hands for a couple of reasons. First, I didn't tell The Ex congratulations because I'm sure she would have been petty and simply said, "Thanks" instead of congratulating me thereby implying that I am not the baby's grandmother. Second, I didn't bother telling Ned congratulations since I don't consider him to be the baby's "grandpa" as I truly do not believe he'll be around after 5 years; The Ex will complete her cycle and have moved on to her next victim....oh sorry, I meant husband.
Daughter hasn't kept it a secret that she doesn't like Ned, she doesn't consider Ned to be her parent, and that she doesn't think that The Ex should be with Ned. Have you ever seen that e-card that says, "Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. 'Look at this bitch eating those crackers like she owns the place.'"? I feel like that's the level that Daughter is on with Ned. While I don't think it was right for him to make fat jokes about her, I wonder if he truly just clueless and didn't understand how that would be offensive.
The day that our grandson was born, we spent quite a few hours with/around Ned. He was....very nice, actually. He initiated conversation with Husband, the two of them talked quite a bit with The Ex's dad, Ned even talked to me. Ned had some LifeSavers or something similar which he offered to everyone, me and Husband included. In fact, Ned actually made a joke. (I know, right?!) Husband was sitting in front of a vending machine inside the waiting room and he accidentally kept bumping the buttons with his head or hands; after the second or third time, Ned asked, "Are you gonna buy something, or what?"
Of course, all of these pleasantries did not take place while The Ex was present; I'm sure she would have crucified Ned if she knew that he was even remotely amicable toward either of us. But overall, it really wasn't that bad spending a good portion of eight hours with him.
When the baby was born, Son, The Ex, and Girlfriend's mom were all in the room for the delivery. Once they got the baby cleaned up, a nurse came out and said she had a very specific request for just the two grandpas to come into the room. Ned started to stand up. I tapped Husband's chair with my foot because he was kind of zoning out; I told him that he and Girlfriend's dad needed to go into the room. Ned stretched a little bit and then walked outside of the maternity ward to go check on The Ex's kids. As soon as he left, Daughter said, "Did you see [Ned] get all mad?" I tried to play it off and said I thought he was just stretching. Daughter said, "No, he was standing up like he was going to go in there when they said only two grandpas. But then Dad and [Girlfriend's dad] got up, so he got all butthurt and left." Which, okay...maybe he was, but I wasn't going to be petty and throw him under the bus when Daughter was already sitting behind the wheel and revving the engine.
As we were leaving the hospital, everyone was congratulating each other. Husband shook The Ex's dad's hand and told him congratulations on being a great-grandpa again. Her dad returned the congratulations to Husband; he even shook my hand and told me congrats and called me "Grandma" which I thought was sweet of him. Husband was mature enough to shake both The Ex's hand and Ned's hand, wishing both of them congratulations; they both told him the same. I didn't shake either of their hands for a couple of reasons. First, I didn't tell The Ex congratulations because I'm sure she would have been petty and simply said, "Thanks" instead of congratulating me thereby implying that I am not the baby's grandmother. Second, I didn't bother telling Ned congratulations since I don't consider him to be the baby's "grandpa" as I truly do not believe he'll be around after 5 years; The Ex will complete her cycle and have moved on to her next victim....oh sorry, I meant husband.
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