I called.

  This post is a couple weeks late, but let's go back to this whole issue with The Ex and/or Ned being investigated for child abuse.

  I was really back-and-forth about contacting the social worker.  I didn't want to stir the pot, particularly over something that didn't involve me or Husband at all.  Son and Daughter are the only ones we need to concern ourselves with and they weren't the ones directly involved, so maybe we should just stay out of it.  A friend of mine commented that it might just be best to have faith that God was going to take care of it as He saw fit, The Ex would get what she had coming eventually, and that it might just be best not to insert ourselves in the situation any further.  I was honestly, truly ready to just let it go.

  And then, I learned more than I wanted to.

  A couple of months ago, The Ex was saying that she "kind of yelled at [Lucifer]."  The gist of it was that this particular incident started when Lucifer said something that was mean and/or inappropriate so The Ex sent him to his room.  She later sent Ned in to talk with him so that Lucifer could be the one to tell Ned what he had said, but Lucifer did not admit to what he had done; The Ex said that he lied.

  The Ex said that she told Lucifer, "I'm so upset with you.  You're nothing to me." (He just turned eight; he was still seven when she said this to him.  Who says something so spiteful and angry to a child, especially one that you're supposed to be taking care of?  I could never imagine saying something like this to Son or Daughter.  Not even when Son was at his worst and things weren't so great between him and Husband/me.  I could never say this.)  They must have been out somewhere when The Ex was yelling at Lucifer because she went on to say that he "was lucky she even bought him a fucking burger because he would've gone all day without eating" and she would have just given him something when they got home.  The Ex said she told Lucifer she's "not doing shit for him."  The Ex said she told Lucifer that if she took her kids somewhere, he wasn't going; if they were out somewhere and she bought something for her kids, he wasn't getting anything. (Yet she claims that Husband and I treat our two youngest better than we do Son and Daughter.)

  The Ex went on to say that she told Lucifer he "hurt her" and that they weren't going to punish him, they were just going to explain that he shouldn't have said what he said.  The Ex said she told Lucifer, "But no.  You had to sit there and fucking lie.  Fuck you.  You hurt me, you think I'm gonna back down?!"

  You may not agree with my decision to call, but I did.  I couldn't sleep at night, knowing what I know and not saying a word about it.

  I spoke to the social worker and told her the honest truth:  I don't know if The Ex is physically abusing Lucifer, but I do believe that she is emotionally and verbally abusing him.  I told her that I honestly didn't know if Ned was fully aware of all of the things that The Ex was saying/doing to Lucifer; I believe Ned just thinks that the two of them don't get along but I couldn't say for sure.  I repeated what I had heard about The Ex berating Lucifer and telling him "he's nothing to her."  I repeated what Daughter had said about Ned not punishing Lucifer, and that he and The Ex would fight over his lack of discipline.  I told her that The Ex stated that Lucifer IS being spanked in their home and that he DID have a bruise as a result of a spanking he received.  I repeated what The Ex had said to "coach" Daughter when she was interviewed.  I told her that The Ex kept calling Lucifer and his mom "liars" which was ironic because The Ex is the biggest liar I've ever met in my entire life.  I told her that The Ex had previously been convicted of disorderly conduct against Husband.  I told her that just a couple years ago, she told Daughter that she "wanted to stab [Husband] in the f*cking heart."  I told her how in a 30-second phone call The Ex had screamed at Daughter that she was going "to break her f*cking phone" when she got home, that she was tired of Son and Daughter "treating her like shit" and that they could "stay with their f*cking father because that's all he does."  I told her that The Ex has a victim mentality and never saw anything she ever said/did as being wrong.  I pointed out that the comment she made to Lucifer about her not "backing down" just showed how combative she is; this is a child and she acts like she's at war with him.

  The worker wrote everything down and asked for my contact information if she needed to follow up with me.  I emphasized repeatedly that she could not put into the report that she spoke to Husband or me, because The Ex would absolutely retaliate and I couldn't even imagine how horrible it would be; she said she would try to keep her report as vague as possible to keep The Ex from learning where she got the information from.

  After I hung up with her, I was surprisingly calm.  I don't feel bad about what I did because my intentions were never to "get back" at The Ex.  I can set aside what she's done to Husband, I can set aside what she's done to me, I can even set aside what she's done to Son and Daughter.  But this is not okay.  This had to be reported.  This is abuse and I can't stay quiet about it.  This has nothing to do with me, Husband, or even The Ex; it has everything to do with that little boy and how he's being treated.

  I don't think they're going to remove Lucifer from Ned's home, but they may reduce The Ex's interaction with him.  One of my friends commented, "[The Ex] has made a career out of destroying lives.  She has to be stopped.  At some point, this has to stop."  Hopefully, the state will intervene.