Speechless.
Grab some popcorn and buckle up - this is going to be lengthy.
Son and Girlfriend came down for the weekend. They brought me some really pretty cutting boards with Bible verses on them; I was not expecting that and I thought it was the sweetest thing ever that they got me a "just because" gift.
Once Son was out of earshot, Girlfriend had a lot to say. She told me some stuff about Ned, but most of it was The Ex.
Friday night, both Son and Girlfriend were telling me how The Ex was throwing a birthday party this weekend even though Son had told her weeks ago that they were coming by Husband and me. Son said that they had gone over to The Ex & Ned's house recently and said, "She basically cornered me in the house and asked if we were coming to the party. I told her no, we're going by Dad." Son said that The Ex told him that Girlfriend had said that she wanted to come to the party instead of coming by us. They went home, Son asked Girlfriend about it; Girlfriend said that she had never said that to The Ex or anybody else. Girlfriend said that The Ex later sent Ned over to their place to try to convince Son that he ought to stay for the birthday party; Son told him no, they were coming by us. Then, Daughter sent Son a message asking if they were coming to the birthday party because The Ex wanted to know; Son told her again that they were coming by us. Later, Girlfriend saw Ned in the grocery store and he started talking to her about the party and saying how they ought to stay in Tiny City for the party. I told both of them that this was ridiculous; I told Son, "It's not a competition; you shouldn't feel like you have to pick Mom or Dad. You're allowed to love your mom and you're allowed to love your dad. That's normal, it's not 'wrong' of you to love both of them and to want to spend time with both of them." Girlfriend and Son also said that Daughter had wanted to come with them for the weekend but The Ex refused to let her. (That part I can understand. The Ex is throwing a birthday party, I'd want Daughter to be there for it too.)
Saturday morning, Son and Husband left to work on Son's truck and Girlfriend's car. Girlfriend and I started talking again and Lucifer got brought up. I said I didn't know if Girlfriend had heard about CPS investigating Ned and/or The Ex; Girlfriend said yes and told me that after all this mess about Lucifer hiding toothbrushes, it turns out that it was The Ex's son who was hiding it all along. (My mouth dropped open when she told me this. I remember this being brought up and The Ex had convinced even Daughter that it wasn't him because he "had no reason to hide them.") Girlfriend said that when this came out, Son went off on The Ex about how she had been punishing Lucifer for it when it was actually her kid the entire time. I told Girlfriend how Daughter had said that one of Lucifer's punishments was to stand against a wall with his arms outstretched for 10 straight minutes. Girlfriend said it wasn't just standing with his arms up; she said that The Ex was putting wrist weights on him and then requiring him to stand with his arms up. Girlfriend said The Ex would also make Lucifer squat against the wall and then put a weight on his lap. (The Ex is going straight to hell. Anyone who can do this, and who knows what else, to a child and feel no remorse whatsoever doesn't deserve to live.) Girlfriend said that The Ex's son is growing up to be a little asshole and that she doesn't want to watch him overnight anymore, especially with the baby around.
Girlfriend said she saw a picture of the bruise that Lucifer had from a spanking and said that it hadn't come from Ned; she said it was a small bruise just beneath his butt. Girlfriend said that it was The Ex was the one who had spanked him, but Ned was taking the fall for it so that The Ex wouldn't get in trouble. (First of all, I don't have a problem with spanking if it's done correctly - not out of anger and not with excessive force. Second, if someone hit my child hard enough to bruise them, I don't think you'd ever find their body. I sure as hell would not protect them and say that I was the one who did it.) Girlfriend said they were guessing that The Ex had spanked Lucifer with either a spoon or a spatula.
Girlfriend said that Ned refused to leave The Ex and his reasoning was that he "didn't want two failed marriages" but that he had said this before they had gotten married, so Girlfriend said she didn't understand why they had even bothered getting married. (Honestly, I don't think even Ned or The Ex know why they got married. This entire situation is a living catastrophe.)
Girlfriend said she thought it was weird that The Ex had always dated Hispanic men, but was now married to Ned who is white. I told her that I had said the exact same thing; ever since I've been with Husband, every single guy that The Ex has been with had been Hispanic up until now.
Somehow, we got on the topic of cheating. I told Girlfriend how The Ex had an affair with a married co-worker for 6 months before she finally left Boyfriend; I told her how The Ex had used Daughter as a middle man to let New Guy know when he could call The Ex. I told Girlfriend that I had found out who the guy was and what his actual name was. Girlfriend said, "...[New Guy]?? I think I met him." I said it was entirely possible; The Ex and her family were still friends with him on Facebook, so he may have been around. Girlfriend said, "I think he was at [The Ex and Ned's] wedding." (Look, I don't know if this is true or not. New Guy and his wife moved to another state; the day of the wedding, New Guy posted a picture of their truck and trailer on Facebook and wrote, "Almost halfway." That same day, someone else tagged New Guy and his wife in a post that was checked in somewhere that is almost 15 hours from where The Ex and Ned got married. I don't know if Girlfriend was confused about when she had met New Guy, or if she was just making it all up. I sincerely hope that it's not the latter.)
Girlfriend also said she thought it was weird that Ned will call himself "Grandpa" but he never really holds the baby and if he did, it was very awkward. She said she didn't know if it was because Ned had lost two kids already. I told her that I knew about him losing one child with his ex-wife, but not two. Girlfriend said that sometime between Ned's divorce and when he started dating The Ex, he had gotten another woman pregnant, the baby was born, and the baby passed away from SIDS when s/he was a few months old. (Ned filed for divorce in November of 2014; he started dating The Ex in June of 2015. That's only seven months. The only possible explanation for this is that Ned was having sex with someone else while he was married and got the other woman pregnant. Everything about this, from beginning to end, is completely horrible.) Girlfriend also said there was an incident at Ned's job where either his ex-wife tried to run him over with a car, or vice versa. She said the police had gotten called and there was a report on it and everything. (If you're going to ask, yes - I'm considering sending a request letter for a copy of this report. If it did indeed happen, I can only imagine the chaos that was involved.)
Later that day, Girlfriend and I were talking and somehow child support got brought up. Girlfriend said that The Ex claimed that Husband and I had done something to find out what she was earning per hour and had complained, "I don't know why [Husband] is doing this, there's only a year left. They know I just got a raise." I got up from my chair, went and got the paperwork we were mailed from child support, put it down in front of Girlfriend, and told her to read it. She looked it over and said, "This doesn't say anywhere on here that he's asking for child support." I told her yes, that's exactly what child support sent to both Husband and The Ex. I pointed out that child support had mailed that letter, not Husband; if Husband was the one filing, it would be in court and he would be the one sending all the paperwork. However, The Ex is too stupid to read what's in the letter and understand it. I told Girlfriend that in our state, you are allowed to request a review of child support every three years, regardless of the circumstances. I pointed out that the letter said if Husband wanted a review, he had to fill out the review questionnaire sheet that was attached; I showed Girlfriend that we still had the sheet, because we never sent it in, because we don't want child support. I told her, "I don't want [The Ex's] money. I'm perfectly happy not having to drive to [Tiny City] every other weekend. Especially in snowstorms, or hail storms, or when the football game is on, or it's a nice summer weekend." Girlfriend laughed and agreed it wasn't worth the drive.
We got onto the topic of Husband trying to communicate with The Ex. Girlfriend said that The Ex has admitted straight up that if she knows Husband is going to try to contact her, she'll either turn off her phone or just won't check her email "because she doesn't want to deal with his..." (She trailed off but I'm pretty sure the word she didn't say out loud was "bullshit.") I told Girlfriend that's hilarious because the only thing that Husband ever tries to communicate about with The Ex is the kids. He's not emailing to harass her or bother her; he's not trying to be friends or hang out with her. He's trying to talk about their children. I said, "Well, honestly...it's either about the kids or the money she owes us." I told Girlfriend that there are medical bills for the kids going back to 2015 that The Ex still hasn't paid for her half; Girlfriend gave me a look that said, "Are you effing kidding me?!" I pointed out that we pay to cover the kids on our insurance, we paid for our half of whatever wasn't covered by insurance, and then we had to pay for The Ex's half because she refused to do it. I told Girlfriend that The Ex went almost a year and a half without paying anything; when Husband pointed out that she's being charged 18% interest as part of the court order, she emailed back that he was "the only jerk who would do that" and started making payments again.
I told Girlfriend my theory that The Ex is still in love with Husband. Girlfriend said it was funny that I brought it up; she said the last time that they came to visit, Husband had played some song off of his phone and sang the entire thing. A week or so later, Son and Girlfriend were at The Ex and Ned's house when the same song started playing. Girlfriend said that The Ex had been drinking and made a comment along the lines of, "This is 'someone's' favorite song." Ned asked whose favorite song it was and The Ex replied, "I don't want to say; you'll get mad." (Oh, have mercy...)
Girlfriend also told me that The Ex will bring up Husband and/or me for absolutely no reason. She said, "I swear, every 2 minutes she's got something new to say about you. Like, do you not have a life outside of [Husband and me]??" I said that obviously, Girlfriend could see by now that I never said anything bad about The Ex around Son or Daughter; she agreed that Husband and I never said anything bad that she could remember. I said I tried not to speak bad of The Ex, I just repeat things that she had said/done. Girlfriend said, "Oh, trust me. Compared to the things that she says about you guys? You don't say ANYTHING bad about her. It's not even close."
*sigh* Honestly, I'm tired just typing all of this out. I swear I've been working on this post for the last two days just to keep making sure that I'm covering all of it. I still feel like there might be a thing or two that I missed. If I remember it later, I'll post an update at the bottom of the blog. Or maybe I won't...I don't know how much more drama can fit on one page.
Son and Girlfriend came down for the weekend. They brought me some really pretty cutting boards with Bible verses on them; I was not expecting that and I thought it was the sweetest thing ever that they got me a "just because" gift.
Once Son was out of earshot, Girlfriend had a lot to say. She told me some stuff about Ned, but most of it was The Ex.
Friday night, both Son and Girlfriend were telling me how The Ex was throwing a birthday party this weekend even though Son had told her weeks ago that they were coming by Husband and me. Son said that they had gone over to The Ex & Ned's house recently and said, "She basically cornered me in the house and asked if we were coming to the party. I told her no, we're going by Dad." Son said that The Ex told him that Girlfriend had said that she wanted to come to the party instead of coming by us. They went home, Son asked Girlfriend about it; Girlfriend said that she had never said that to The Ex or anybody else. Girlfriend said that The Ex later sent Ned over to their place to try to convince Son that he ought to stay for the birthday party; Son told him no, they were coming by us. Then, Daughter sent Son a message asking if they were coming to the birthday party because The Ex wanted to know; Son told her again that they were coming by us. Later, Girlfriend saw Ned in the grocery store and he started talking to her about the party and saying how they ought to stay in Tiny City for the party. I told both of them that this was ridiculous; I told Son, "It's not a competition; you shouldn't feel like you have to pick Mom or Dad. You're allowed to love your mom and you're allowed to love your dad. That's normal, it's not 'wrong' of you to love both of them and to want to spend time with both of them." Girlfriend and Son also said that Daughter had wanted to come with them for the weekend but The Ex refused to let her. (That part I can understand. The Ex is throwing a birthday party, I'd want Daughter to be there for it too.)
Saturday morning, Son and Husband left to work on Son's truck and Girlfriend's car. Girlfriend and I started talking again and Lucifer got brought up. I said I didn't know if Girlfriend had heard about CPS investigating Ned and/or The Ex; Girlfriend said yes and told me that after all this mess about Lucifer hiding toothbrushes, it turns out that it was The Ex's son who was hiding it all along. (My mouth dropped open when she told me this. I remember this being brought up and The Ex had convinced even Daughter that it wasn't him because he "had no reason to hide them.") Girlfriend said that when this came out, Son went off on The Ex about how she had been punishing Lucifer for it when it was actually her kid the entire time. I told Girlfriend how Daughter had said that one of Lucifer's punishments was to stand against a wall with his arms outstretched for 10 straight minutes. Girlfriend said it wasn't just standing with his arms up; she said that The Ex was putting wrist weights on him and then requiring him to stand with his arms up. Girlfriend said The Ex would also make Lucifer squat against the wall and then put a weight on his lap. (The Ex is going straight to hell. Anyone who can do this, and who knows what else, to a child and feel no remorse whatsoever doesn't deserve to live.) Girlfriend said that The Ex's son is growing up to be a little asshole and that she doesn't want to watch him overnight anymore, especially with the baby around.
Girlfriend said she saw a picture of the bruise that Lucifer had from a spanking and said that it hadn't come from Ned; she said it was a small bruise just beneath his butt. Girlfriend said that it was The Ex was the one who had spanked him, but Ned was taking the fall for it so that The Ex wouldn't get in trouble. (First of all, I don't have a problem with spanking if it's done correctly - not out of anger and not with excessive force. Second, if someone hit my child hard enough to bruise them, I don't think you'd ever find their body. I sure as hell would not protect them and say that I was the one who did it.) Girlfriend said they were guessing that The Ex had spanked Lucifer with either a spoon or a spatula.
Girlfriend said that Ned refused to leave The Ex and his reasoning was that he "didn't want two failed marriages" but that he had said this before they had gotten married, so Girlfriend said she didn't understand why they had even bothered getting married. (Honestly, I don't think even Ned or The Ex know why they got married. This entire situation is a living catastrophe.)
Girlfriend said she thought it was weird that The Ex had always dated Hispanic men, but was now married to Ned who is white. I told her that I had said the exact same thing; ever since I've been with Husband, every single guy that The Ex has been with had been Hispanic up until now.
Somehow, we got on the topic of cheating. I told Girlfriend how The Ex had an affair with a married co-worker for 6 months before she finally left Boyfriend; I told her how The Ex had used Daughter as a middle man to let New Guy know when he could call The Ex. I told Girlfriend that I had found out who the guy was and what his actual name was. Girlfriend said, "...[New Guy]?? I think I met him." I said it was entirely possible; The Ex and her family were still friends with him on Facebook, so he may have been around. Girlfriend said, "I think he was at [The Ex and Ned's] wedding." (Look, I don't know if this is true or not. New Guy and his wife moved to another state; the day of the wedding, New Guy posted a picture of their truck and trailer on Facebook and wrote, "Almost halfway." That same day, someone else tagged New Guy and his wife in a post that was checked in somewhere that is almost 15 hours from where The Ex and Ned got married. I don't know if Girlfriend was confused about when she had met New Guy, or if she was just making it all up. I sincerely hope that it's not the latter.)
Girlfriend also said she thought it was weird that Ned will call himself "Grandpa" but he never really holds the baby and if he did, it was very awkward. She said she didn't know if it was because Ned had lost two kids already. I told her that I knew about him losing one child with his ex-wife, but not two. Girlfriend said that sometime between Ned's divorce and when he started dating The Ex, he had gotten another woman pregnant, the baby was born, and the baby passed away from SIDS when s/he was a few months old. (Ned filed for divorce in November of 2014; he started dating The Ex in June of 2015. That's only seven months. The only possible explanation for this is that Ned was having sex with someone else while he was married and got the other woman pregnant. Everything about this, from beginning to end, is completely horrible.) Girlfriend also said there was an incident at Ned's job where either his ex-wife tried to run him over with a car, or vice versa. She said the police had gotten called and there was a report on it and everything. (If you're going to ask, yes - I'm considering sending a request letter for a copy of this report. If it did indeed happen, I can only imagine the chaos that was involved.)
Later that day, Girlfriend and I were talking and somehow child support got brought up. Girlfriend said that The Ex claimed that Husband and I had done something to find out what she was earning per hour and had complained, "I don't know why [Husband] is doing this, there's only a year left. They know I just got a raise." I got up from my chair, went and got the paperwork we were mailed from child support, put it down in front of Girlfriend, and told her to read it. She looked it over and said, "This doesn't say anywhere on here that he's asking for child support." I told her yes, that's exactly what child support sent to both Husband and The Ex. I pointed out that child support had mailed that letter, not Husband; if Husband was the one filing, it would be in court and he would be the one sending all the paperwork. However, The Ex is too stupid to read what's in the letter and understand it. I told Girlfriend that in our state, you are allowed to request a review of child support every three years, regardless of the circumstances. I pointed out that the letter said if Husband wanted a review, he had to fill out the review questionnaire sheet that was attached; I showed Girlfriend that we still had the sheet, because we never sent it in, because we don't want child support. I told her, "I don't want [The Ex's] money. I'm perfectly happy not having to drive to [Tiny City] every other weekend. Especially in snowstorms, or hail storms, or when the football game is on, or it's a nice summer weekend." Girlfriend laughed and agreed it wasn't worth the drive.
We got onto the topic of Husband trying to communicate with The Ex. Girlfriend said that The Ex has admitted straight up that if she knows Husband is going to try to contact her, she'll either turn off her phone or just won't check her email "because she doesn't want to deal with his..." (She trailed off but I'm pretty sure the word she didn't say out loud was "bullshit.") I told Girlfriend that's hilarious because the only thing that Husband ever tries to communicate about with The Ex is the kids. He's not emailing to harass her or bother her; he's not trying to be friends or hang out with her. He's trying to talk about their children. I said, "Well, honestly...it's either about the kids or the money she owes us." I told Girlfriend that there are medical bills for the kids going back to 2015 that The Ex still hasn't paid for her half; Girlfriend gave me a look that said, "Are you effing kidding me?!" I pointed out that we pay to cover the kids on our insurance, we paid for our half of whatever wasn't covered by insurance, and then we had to pay for The Ex's half because she refused to do it. I told Girlfriend that The Ex went almost a year and a half without paying anything; when Husband pointed out that she's being charged 18% interest as part of the court order, she emailed back that he was "the only jerk who would do that" and started making payments again.
I told Girlfriend my theory that The Ex is still in love with Husband. Girlfriend said it was funny that I brought it up; she said the last time that they came to visit, Husband had played some song off of his phone and sang the entire thing. A week or so later, Son and Girlfriend were at The Ex and Ned's house when the same song started playing. Girlfriend said that The Ex had been drinking and made a comment along the lines of, "This is 'someone's' favorite song." Ned asked whose favorite song it was and The Ex replied, "I don't want to say; you'll get mad." (Oh, have mercy...)
Girlfriend also told me that The Ex will bring up Husband and/or me for absolutely no reason. She said, "I swear, every 2 minutes she's got something new to say about you. Like, do you not have a life outside of [Husband and me]??" I said that obviously, Girlfriend could see by now that I never said anything bad about The Ex around Son or Daughter; she agreed that Husband and I never said anything bad that she could remember. I said I tried not to speak bad of The Ex, I just repeat things that she had said/done. Girlfriend said, "Oh, trust me. Compared to the things that she says about you guys? You don't say ANYTHING bad about her. It's not even close."
*sigh* Honestly, I'm tired just typing all of this out. I swear I've been working on this post for the last two days just to keep making sure that I'm covering all of it. I still feel like there might be a thing or two that I missed. If I remember it later, I'll post an update at the bottom of the blog. Or maybe I won't...I don't know how much more drama can fit on one page.
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