Crashing and burning.
Since we started providing phones for Son and Daughter when they reached 12 years old, we've monitored interactions between them and anyone associated with The Ex. I could care less what they text their friends or what they talk about; The Ex is sheer evil, her family isn't any better, and I'll be damned if I let them have free reign over these children. Judge me if you want, call me a helicopter parent; I don't really care. When you've been through what we have, heard what we've heard, seen what we've seen, then I guarantee you that you're going to start documenting everything until your kid turns 18. It also helps that recording phone calls without notifying the other parent is legal in this state.
Unfortunately, it's starting to not be that funny anymore. As time has gone by, The Ex's animosity towards Husband and myself is multiplying rapidly; she then verbalizes her feelings to Daughter. The Ex is also completely unhappy with herself and her life, which she also verbalizes to Daughter. Below are some of the conversations that The Ex has had with Daughter via text:
April 2019 (The Ex wanted her sister to pick up Daughter for The Ex's placement weekend)
Daughter: She said she is going to need money. Her check was only 80 bucks (So Daughter's aunt's check wasn't very much and she wants gas money. I don't think it's that unreasonable.)
The Ex: Wow
The Ex: Bitch
Daughter: Hahaha
The Ex: To go 25 minutes...maybe 20 miles to get u. WOW (It's 42 minutes and almost 37 miles from her sister's work to our house, not to mention the additional trip back to Tiny City that would take at least an hour and a half.)
The Ex: Piece of shit
The Ex: Hoe bag
The Ex: Whore sucking shit face
Daughter: Omg moommm
The Ex: Ohhh...maybe I should be calling kk this (This was The Ex's first reference to Lucifer as "KK" or "Killer Kid." She sees nothing wrong with calling an 8-year-old boy a "whore sucking shit face.")
April 2019 (The Ex wanted her sister to pick up Daughter for The Ex's placement weekend)
Daughter: She said she is going to need money. Her check was only 80 bucks (So Daughter's aunt's check wasn't very much and she wants gas money. I don't think it's that unreasonable.)
The Ex: Wow
The Ex: Bitch
Daughter: Hahaha
The Ex: To go 25 minutes...maybe 20 miles to get u. WOW (It's 42 minutes and almost 37 miles from her sister's work to our house, not to mention the additional trip back to Tiny City that would take at least an hour and a half.)
The Ex: Piece of shit
The Ex: Hoe bag
The Ex: Whore sucking shit face
Daughter: Omg moommm
The Ex: Ohhh...maybe I should be calling kk this (This was The Ex's first reference to Lucifer as "KK" or "Killer Kid." She sees nothing wrong with calling an 8-year-old boy a "whore sucking shit face.")
May 2019, four days before Mother's Day
The Ex: Hey sweetie!!! Can I get you on Saturday??? (No, because it's our weekend. You get her at 9am on Sunday morning.)
(Less than an hour later, The Ex sent screenshots of messages from 2houses. She conveniently cropped out where Husband stated that she hadn't made a payment toward the kids' medical bills in nearly 2.5 years and only sent where he told her that she was being charged interest.)
The Ex: Your dad's a fucking jerk
Daughter: What an ass (I was irritated reading this but honestly, Husband DID look like an ass because The Ex completely took the message out of context and only showed Daughter what she wanted her to see.)
Daughter: Saturday we are going to see [Son].
The Ex: Can u stay (No, because it's still our weekend.)
The Ex: U know it's REALLY fucking nice that I live 2 miles away and your brother doesn't want to c me. But he's ALWAYS making plans to c your piece of shit dad and [my name misspelled]
(ten minutes went by)
The Ex: Hey sweetie!!! Can I get you on Saturday??? (No, because it's our weekend. You get her at 9am on Sunday morning.)
(Less than an hour later, The Ex sent screenshots of messages from 2houses. She conveniently cropped out where Husband stated that she hadn't made a payment toward the kids' medical bills in nearly 2.5 years and only sent where he told her that she was being charged interest.)
The Ex: Your dad's a fucking jerk
Daughter: What an ass (I was irritated reading this but honestly, Husband DID look like an ass because The Ex completely took the message out of context and only showed Daughter what she wanted her to see.)
Daughter: Saturday we are going to see [Son].
The Ex: Can u stay (No, because it's still our weekend.)
The Ex: U know it's REALLY fucking nice that I live 2 miles away and your brother doesn't want to c me. But he's ALWAYS making plans to c your piece of shit dad and [my name misspelled]
(ten minutes went by)
The Ex: Please (I think this was meant as, "Please, can you stay on Saturday so that I don't have to come get you on Sunday?")
The Ex: He didn't say happy birthday to me (That was literally 2 months ago.) and probably won't say anything on sunday (The Ex made plans out of town for Mother's Day, and had already announced to Daughter that she was "done" with Son because he wouldn't do exactly what she wanted, when she wanted. But now Daughter is supposed to feel bad about it.)
June 2019
The Ex: I miss you already
The Ex: Did u guys leave already
The Ex: [Ned's] mad. [Ned's mom] called and wants to know why she has to watch kk when the bank is closed on Thursday the 4th. I guess [Ned] said she was yelling at him bc he's with me now, and kk is with [Ned's] grandma. (Ned's mom has every reason to yell at him. Ned ought to be spending time with his own child. Instead, Lucifer becomes the responsibility of Ned's parents or even Ned's grandmother, just because The Ex doesn't want to see him. But The Ex sees absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that Ned's grandma, who is over 80 years old, is watching Ned's 8-year-old son while Ned is with The Ex. I have no idea why he married this cow.)
June 2019
The Ex: I miss you already
The Ex: Did u guys leave already
The Ex: [Ned's] mad. [Ned's mom] called and wants to know why she has to watch kk when the bank is closed on Thursday the 4th. I guess [Ned] said she was yelling at him bc he's with me now, and kk is with [Ned's] grandma. (Ned's mom has every reason to yell at him. Ned ought to be spending time with his own child. Instead, Lucifer becomes the responsibility of Ned's parents or even Ned's grandmother, just because The Ex doesn't want to see him. But The Ex sees absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that Ned's grandma, who is over 80 years old, is watching Ned's 8-year-old son while Ned is with The Ex. I have no idea why he married this cow.)
August 2019
The Ex: Tell [my name misspelled] to pay a hundred bucks to get ahead of that other kid on bidiboo (Girlfriend had entered the baby into an online contest for "cutest boy" and he was in second place for our state. The Ex wanted me to buy votes, but wanted Daughter to be the one to tell me to do it.)
The Ex: She probably won't. Ask her how much she loves him??? (Oh, so if I'm not spending money then that means I don't love you? Got it.)
The Ex: She probably won't. Ask her how much she loves him??? (Oh, so if I'm not spending money then that means I don't love you? Got it.)
August 2019
Daughter: Mom I forgot the form so I'm going to email you it. Print it at work and sign it. (This was when Daughter had a volleyball tournament on The Ex's weekend, and it happened to be near Tiny City. Daughter forgot the permission slip so that The Ex could take her home from the tournament. After Daughter texted this to The Ex, she texted me about it; I told her that Husband would send it to The Ex.)
The Ex: [work email address] (She sent this almost 5 1/2 hours after Daughter said she'd send the form; the tournament had already started)
(almost 7 hours pass)
The Ex: Didn't get an email
The Ex: What's going on
The Ex: ................
Daughter: I have no clue
Daughter: We play at 8 in the morn tomorrow tho. That is our first game.
The Ex: Ok. Keep me posted.
(Daughter messaged me asking if we had sent the form. I sent her a screenshot showing that yes, Husband had sent the form to The Ex and that she had not opened it.)
The Ex: [work email address] (She sent this almost 5 1/2 hours after Daughter said she'd send the form; the tournament had already started)
(almost 7 hours pass)
The Ex: Didn't get an email
The Ex: What's going on
The Ex: ................
Daughter: I have no clue
Daughter: We play at 8 in the morn tomorrow tho. That is our first game.
The Ex: Ok. Keep me posted.
(Daughter messaged me asking if we had sent the form. I sent her a screenshot showing that yes, Husband had sent the form to The Ex and that she had not opened it.)
Daughter: He sent it to the two houses email
The Ex: That UGLY MOTHER FUCKER SON OF A BITCH
The Ex: REALLY
The Ex: I can't pick u up. I have no idea what that password is (She's supposed to log in daily, but doesn't know what her password is. The Ex ended up saying that she sent the form to her work email. Somehow she thought it was a better idea to download the form, upload the form, email it to herself, and then print it at work instead of...just printing it at work)
(they text briefly about volleyball, and then...)
The Ex: Text [my name misspelled] to pay for 5000 votes for [the baby]❤
The Ex: If she REALLY LOVES HIM she will
The Ex: Tell that
The Ex: From u (The most ironic thing in all of this is that The Ex stated twice, in less than 48 hours, that I needed to spend money to prove that I love our grandson. Yet one month later, she posted on Facebook accusing Son of always thinking that Husband was better because we give him more money than she does.)
September 2019
The Ex: I miss u sweetie. I HATE being here
The Ex: That UGLY MOTHER FUCKER SON OF A BITCH
The Ex: REALLY
The Ex: I can't pick u up. I have no idea what that password is (She's supposed to log in daily, but doesn't know what her password is. The Ex ended up saying that she sent the form to her work email. Somehow she thought it was a better idea to download the form, upload the form, email it to herself, and then print it at work instead of...just printing it at work)
(they text briefly about volleyball, and then...)
The Ex: Text [my name misspelled] to pay for 5000 votes for [the baby]❤
The Ex: If she REALLY LOVES HIM she will
The Ex: Tell that
The Ex: From u (The most ironic thing in all of this is that The Ex stated twice, in less than 48 hours, that I needed to spend money to prove that I love our grandson. Yet one month later, she posted on Facebook accusing Son of always thinking that Husband was better because we give him more money than she does.)
September 2019
The Ex: I miss u sweetie. I HATE being here
The Ex: I wish u were here
The Ex: I think I HATE being here bc kk is here. And life revolves around the killer kid...
[Ned's mom] even bought him clothes and socks and a small book bag. Of course nothing for [The Ex's daughter and son]...(I'm sure that The Ex bought things for her kids and not for Lucifer, so Ned's mom bought him something so that he wouldn't feel left out, which The Ex had to turn into a "poor me and my kids" scenario.)
[Ned's mom] even bought him clothes and socks and a small book bag. Of course nothing for [The Ex's daughter and son]...(I'm sure that The Ex bought things for her kids and not for Lucifer, so Ned's mom bought him something so that he wouldn't feel left out, which The Ex had to turn into a "poor me and my kids" scenario.)
The Ex: But, every year this happens and I just want to fucking scream SO, YOU THROW A FUCKING FIT WHEN I BUY THINGS FOR NOT JUST MY 4 KIDS BUT [GIRLFRIEND AND THE BABY] NOW. BUT I WON'T BUY SHIT FOR YOUR KILLER KID...... he doesn't even buy things for him, himself...his parents do... (Ha. Haha. HAHAHA. Is she even serious?! This woman left Son and Daughter with her parents and siblings so frequently that the local police department started questioning why she never had her own children! Her dad was always paying for the kids' baseball fees, birthday parties, school pictures, etc. But Ned doesn't buy things for Lucifer, and suddenly he's a piece of garbage??!)
It just kills me
It just kills me
The Ex: I can't even look at his blonde haired K.K
September 2019, the day before Parent's Night
The Ex: Can you PLEASE make sure [Ned's] name is also said with a rose?
The Ex: I'll pay u sweetie
The Ex: Just don't want to leave him out (This was 2 1/2 weeks after wanting to scream at Ned about buying things for his son)
Daughter: Do I have to? (Yes, she sent this back.)
Daughter: Do I have to? (Yes, she sent this back.)
Daughter: I've already ordered everything
The Ex: Please
The Ex: It would really mean so much
Daughter: Well I already bought the flowers. I could maybe put his name
Daughter: Well I already bought the flowers. I could maybe put his name
The Ex: GREAT!!! THANKS
September 2019, five days after not wanting Ned to be left out of Parent's Night
The Ex: I know this sounds terrible. But I seriously need to tell ask... (I have no idea what that means.) IF something were to happen to me on this trip, would you take care of [The Ex's daughter and son]?
Daughter: Mom ofc I would. And please be careful mom. I love you
Daughter: Mom ofc I would. And please be careful mom. I love you
The Ex: I can't have them here with [lucifer]. He's a ticking time bomb... He scares the shit out of me. I also don't want to ruin your life either. (Too late.) I want to know they will b safe if I'm not around. (That's the ONLY way they'd be safe...) [lucifer] is wrapped around [Ned's] finger and he can do no wrong. (She meant that Ned is wrapped around Lucifer's finger, but we can't expect too much out of her honestly.) Along with [Ned's] family. But [Ned's] family ALWAYS leaves [The Ex's daughter and son] out of things too. And they both see that..."
(So let's say that hypothetically, The Ex passed away. She wants Daughter to be responsible for her siblings. What the hell is a 17-year-old going to do with two kids??? Daughter is still going to live with us if The Ex passed away, so then what? Just to be petty, I'll say it: sounds like The Ex wants me to have custody of ALL of her children.)
(So let's say that hypothetically, The Ex passed away. She wants Daughter to be responsible for her siblings. What the hell is a 17-year-old going to do with two kids??? Daughter is still going to live with us if The Ex passed away, so then what? Just to be petty, I'll say it: sounds like The Ex wants me to have custody of ALL of her children.)
October 2019
The Ex: I have a husband that can FUCK HIMSELF
The Ex: I hate being here when kk is here (These were followed by her sharing a post on Facebook saying, "Fuck any man who made you feel like you were hard to love because you refused to sit quiet and tolerate his bullshit.")
These are things you talk to your friends about. These are NOT things that you talk to your child about. On top of The Ex treating Daughter like her personal therapist, The Ex is now alleging that Lucifer stole her niece's underwear and claims that she has bad dreams about Lucifer including one where he raped her daughter. I'm not a psychologist but I'd say that if you're having dreams about an 8-year-old raping an 11-year-old, you ought to seek medical help.
Now as recently as last week, The Ex told Daughter in a single phone conversation:
Son believes Girlfriend's "lies" because I'm filling Girlfriend's head with shit
"Anyone can lie in a police report" (Somehow it got back to The Ex that she's not the battered woman she pretends she was, and that she used to hit both Husband and Boyfriend. So now everyone else is a liar and police reports aren't accurate.)
Husband used to drag her around by her hair (I had the thought but my dad actually said it out loud: if Husband had tried it, The Ex would be bald. There's no way in hell he's dragging around that much weight without her hair coming out.)
Husband left The Ex out-of-state with his mom and stepdad right after she had Daughter because he was "talking to a 16-year-old girl" and came back to Our State. He also allegedly made The Ex talk to the girl. From her comments, I believe she's implying that Husband possibly impregnated whoever this phantom girl was (The entire story falls apart right at the beginning because Daughter was not born out-of-state; Son was born out-of-state. And although Son was born out-of-state, Husband didn't leave The Ex at any point and certainly not right after Son was born. Our state requires you to be a resident for 30 days before filing any court action; The Ex filed for divorce in Our State when she was 9 months pregnant with Daughter and after she was born, The Ex and Husband reconciled and cancelled the divorce action. Clearly, the entire story is bullshit, but I get it. When you spend your entire life lying about other people, it's hard to keep silly things like "facts" straight.)
Putting aside The Ex's mental instability and self-inflicted misery, I found out that the following conversation happened between Daughter and The Ex's younger sister.
July 2019
The Ex's sister: Have mom look at her phone
The Ex's sister: ASAP
Daughter: She went to the store
The Ex's sister: By herself
Daughter: No with [Ned]
The Ex's sister: Damn it [New Guy] is on phone and wants to call her (Omg...)
The Ex's sister: Don't tell [Ned] (Omfg...)
(ten minutes went by)
Daughter: Ohhh
The Ex's sister: Is she home
Daughter: Yea
The Ex's sister: Tell her to go to grandma's house and call (Every time I read this, I still can't believe what I'm seeing.)
Daughter: She is right next to [Ned]
This conversation took place less than three months after The Ex and Ned got married. The Ex is still screwing around with New Guy and hiding it from Ned. New Guy and his wife moved to another state but apparently he was here "tying up loose ends" while his wife was over 1,300 miles away at their new home.
I don't care how unhappy you are, I don't care how much you hate your stepchild, I don't care how much you THINK you deserve - this is completely unconscionable. The Ex has now cheated on every single one of her three husbands and her family helps her to do it. They're all swine.
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