We Are Family, I Got All My Sisters With Me

  The Ex's narcissism is engrained in every single relationship that she has.  She started a fight with one of her sisters over the weekend by bringing up something which could have been dealt with more discreetly and more maturely.  Get ready for the dumpster fire that is The Ex and her family.

The Ex:  It's come to our attention [older sister 2] that you invited [older sister's long-term boyfriend]??? I'm so sorry [older sister 2] but many of us don't feel comfortable with him coming. We wish u would have avoided this and asked us first if it was "OK" if he came??? BUT we c he hasn't changed. (Who is this "we" she keeps referring to?  Obviously. somebody else in the family has been discussing this with The Ex behind the sister's back.)
             WE really want you to come to our Christmas. We've planned this for a very long time...

The Ex's niece:  Maybe a private message would've been better..just sayin (I agree with her 100%.)

Older sister 2:  Well than I won't be there (Oh, boyyyy....)

The Ex's mom:  I am sorry. But this iss for family! He isn't family yet so I can't say anything. (She literally just said something, though.  This woman is dumber than a box of rocks.  And I'm sorry, but older sister 2 has been with this guy on-and-off for damn near 20 years so "he's not family" is a bullshit excuse.  At that rate, then Girlfriend isn't family either and she shouldn't be coming since she and Son aren't married.) But please come.

Older sister 2:  Merry fucking Christmas! (...is that this family's slogan?  Seriously, what is wrong with these people?!) Hope you're all happy! He's in my life and you need to get to know him but obviously no one. Wants to give him a chance! (This statement about "giving him a chance" is a bit ridiculous because the guy is an alcoholic and addicted to pain pills; he's been like this for years.) I now see I don't have a family! You don't see him you don't see me. End of story. (Something just dawned on me.  I understand not wanting to be around him long-term, but it's one day; Daughter and I were discussing this and agreed that there's no reason this family can't tolerate him for a few hours.  But I just realized that of course there's a reason.  Everybody wants to get drunk/high at their Christmas party but they don't trust this guy, so they can't party if he's there.  This has nothing to do with him coming/not coming and everything to do with them wanting to be able to wasted without worrying about him stealing from them.)

Younger Sister:  [Older sister 2] all were saying is how can expect us to trust him especially with ALL the kids when he obviously hasn't changed and u have said that urself for fucks sake he is even taking ur meds again (Older sister 2 is also a pill popper.  Years ago she was being charged with two felonies for having prescription meds that weren't hers; they dropped the felony charges and convicted her of two misdemeanors.  I believe this is why the younger sister took the fall for the forgery charges when they stole almost $8,500 from their parents' checking account; they knew the older sister would get hit harder due to her previous conviction.)

Niece:  [Niece's fiance] isnt family yet and hes coming.  Neither is [Nephew 3's fiance] but she'll probably there. [Guy's name] and [older sister 2] obviously aren't going to split. It's been how many years. (Older sister 2 has been with this guy for longer than The Ex has been legally married in all three of her marriages collectively.  That's how many years they've been together.) Yes they may do things we don't agree with but everyone has a past and no one deserves to be judged. This could have been addressed in a private message but now everyone is able to add fuel to the fire. Its just sad, I see the point on both sides, but still. If people dont change, its hard for second or third or fourth chances. We know its hard to let go of [guy's name]. We know the whole family wants better for you. It's all a mess.

The Ex's mom:  Don't be like that! We love you and Christmas isn' the time to do this. (The Ex just told her sister, in front of their entire family, that her long-term partner isn't welcome at their family Christmas celebration and their mom responds by telling the sister that "Christmas isn't the time to do this."  Omg.)

Son:  I love you [older sister 2]
Older sister 2:  Just forget about me I'm not coming! I feel abandoned!  That's about it.  Good bye
The Ex's mom:  They aren't doing this to be mean! We love you! (Who is "they"?  Is it the same "we" that The Ex was referring to?  And I thought their mom said that she "can't say anything" so why is she now saying something?)

The Ex:  Dad ALWAYS tries to c the good in u [older sister 2] and ONLY BORROWS u money... YOU WILL NEVER PAY HIM BACK BC YOUR SPENDING IT ON DRUGS... you can't tell us you both have changed. (The Ex's dad used to fork out cash to her like it was Christmas in July.  He paid for the kids to be in baseball, he bought them clothes, they babysat for The Ex, he brought the kids to our house for Husband's placement weekends.  Even now, he still picks up Daughter for The Ex.  And she's honestly got the audacity to complain that he's borrowing money to her sister?!)
             All I wanted was to have a GREAT CHRISTMAS... (Based on my blog history, I don't think this woman has ever had a great Christmas in her entire life.  And new rhetorical question:  why is this family celebration suddenly about The Ex and what she wants?)
             U have asked me a few months ago if I would forgive [guy's name]... how can I when he WON'T CHANGE AND HE HURTS YOU (Uh...probably the same way that you expected everyone to ignore that Boyfriend was bad news when you'd proclaim that he had "changed" and were cutting off anyone in your family who wouldn't accept him.)

Niece:  What even is this family? It doesn't even feel like one. All everyone does is gang up on onr another. Why? Does it make everything all better? [Younger sister] was in jail and everyone is fine with her. (This is a valid point.  Younger sister has her own issues and nobody is throwing a fit about her coming to the party, so there's no reason to single out Older sister 2 and tell her that her partner can't come.)
Younger sister:  Well I wont be going so no need to worry (Oh good, now we've got a second fight started.)

Daughter:  Okay enough seriously. Everyone stop bashing on each other I honestly don't want to hear it. We are a fucking FAMILY can we please act like it.

Niece:  PREACH
Niece:  Maybe instead of bashing each other. HELP EACH OTHER.

Younger sister:  Last i checked im not a drug addict and takes other people's medication (I love how two of the youngest people are telling the adults to behave, only to have one adult start insulting her own sister.  Also, younger sister literally lost her probation for selling drugs to an undercover officer and went from getting 30 days in jail to having to finish an entire year in jail; then she lost her work release privileges because she failed a drug test upon returning to jail.  But yeah, their older sister is the one with the issues... *eye roll*) yeah i did wrong did my time and grew up so fuck off ("I grew up, so fuck off."  I can't...)

Niece:  Feliz navidad

The Ex:  [Older sister 2] we want you to come. Please come. We love you.

The Ex:  It wouldn't b the same without you (It's quite stomach-turning how The Ex started this entire argument, kept it going, and now wants to play the peacemaker.)
Son:  So much for a fucking Christmas gathering I'm not gonna look at you guys hurt one another you guys keep it up we ain't fucking going start acting like a family or I won't be in it and that's a fucking promise I'm honestly pissed off and wanna bitch slap so many of you YOU ARE NOT FAMILY to me if all you wanna do is hurt one another we're supposed to be there for one another not bitch about shit like this you fucking kids.

*[Son] left the group*
Older sister 2:  If this is about FAMILY well [guy's name] is my family!

*[Younger sister] left the group*
Niece:  I agree with [Son].
Niece:  Goodbye.
*[Niece] left the group*
*[Older sister 2] left the group*

*[Sister-in-law] left the group*
The Ex's mom:  This is enough of this! I don't want to here any more.
Daughter:  This is all fucking ridiculous. Can we please all forgive each.  And grow the fuck up. Get over it we are family whether we hate each other or not. It is one fucking day. We can all be civil for that day. Just pretend it that's what you have to fucking do. Like what the hell. WE ARE FAMILY WE GET THROUGH THICK AND THIN. No matter the circumstances. We need to love each other for who we are, not put each other down

  The next morning, The Ex sent a screenshot to the group of a picture that read:
"No matter how bad you want better for someone, until they want better for themselves there's nothing you can do...Except pray!" (Their entire family tolerated Boyfriend for eight years.  When her parents said something about her spending too much time with him and not enough with her kids, The Ex stopped talking to them.  When her sister said she didn't want her kids around Boyfriend, The Ex stopped talking to her.  The Ex told everyone that Son & Daughter loved Boyfriend and that they were so close to him; years later she claims that Boyfriend was physically, verbally, emotionally, and sexually abusive.  Yet she tells everyone that Husband is a piece of shit for taking the kids out of that environment.  And now, years later, we're all supposed to believe that The Ex just wants what is best for her sister?  GTFOWTBS.)

  A little while later, The Ex's brother asked if Christmas was cancelled; The Ex's mom said she didn't know.  The brother said the date was going to be here before they knew it.  Older sister 1 asked them to let her know if she needed to go shopping or not.

  Later that afternoon, Daughter sent a group message to both The Ex and Older sister 2.  She asked them to both apologize and move past everything because they are family; she told The Ex that Older sister 2 had been with her boyfriend for a long time, she wanted to spend Christmas with him, and Daughter knew that The Ex would feel the same way about her partner.  Both Older sister 2 and The Ex read Daughter's message; neither of them replied to her.

  At some point, Girlfriend added Son to the group chat again and then Nephew 3 said that he and his fiancee would not be coming to the Christmas party.  Nephew 1 sent a message asking if someone could get him drugs, realized he sent it to the wrong person, and deleted it but not before Daughter saw it and told me about it.

  So as it stands right now, I have no idea who Son and Daughter will be celebrating Christmas with on The Ex's side of the family.  One of my friends said it's sad that the only voices of reason come from the two that Husband and I raised.  I think that The Ex's niece made some pretty valid points as well, but I have to agree for the most part.

  While I feel bad that Son and Daughter are going to be stuck with it until they decide to distance themselves, I'm glad that Husband and I are almost finished dealing with this nonsense.