A Quiet Place.
The Ex hasn't logged into 2houses in over a month now, which means that she hasn't said anything to Husband in that same amount of time. Come to think of it, she hasn't sent him a message since November when she asked if she could keep Daughter on our weekend but said she refused to switch weekends. Husband replied, she logged in but didn't read the response.
Daughter recently had a very busy weekend, which happened to fall on The Ex's weekend. Actually, it would typically have been our weekend except for the clause in the court order that gives The Ex any weekend that the kids had off of school on a Friday or Monday and switches if it's not already her weekend. Daughter had off on the Friday of that weekend which means that The Ex was supposed to pick her up at 5:30pm on Thursday. Daughter already knew that she had a lot of things going on that weekend and told us that she was going to stay here that weekend; I blogged about it here.
For reasons unknown, Daughter did not tell The Ex that she was staying until literally two days before she was supposed to get picked up. Monday morning of that week, Daughter tried calling The Ex on her cell phone but she didn't answer. Typically when this happens, Daughter will hang up and then call The Ex's work; if she doesn't answer the phone, Daughter will ask for her. Daughter opted not to do that this particular time, which furthers my assumption that she avoided telling The Ex that she wasn't coming because she didn't want to deal with The Ex getting angry with her.
Daughter told me that on Tuesday of that week, The Ex started texting her things like, "It's my weekend to have you! I get to pick you up on Thursday!" (I find this hilarious because The Ex frequently never knows what's going on in Daughter's life - when she has practice or a game, what her grades are, who she spends her time with, what the placement schedule is supposed to be, etc. But magically, there's one extra day because Daughter has off of school and The Ex suddenly knows that she's getting her that weekend.) Daughter said she texted back that there was a problem with that; she had an away game that Friday and that she had to go to a dance on Saturday. The Ex immediately blamed Daughter and complained, "Why the hell do you have to make plans on my weekend?" Daughter said she hadn't planned it; the student council had planned it, it happened to land on The Ex's weekend, and it was out of Daughter's control. (Kind of how the girls' basketball always goes to the state tournament every year and it happens to be around The Ex's birthday. Nobody does it on purpose, but The Ex would have you believe otherwise.) Daughter didn't say a lot after that, so I'm not sure how long the argument went on from that point. There is honestly no way to get The Ex to understand that Daughter's entire life is here, she's almost a legal adult, and The Ex cannot control her like a little puppet on a string.
We celebrated Christmas with Son and Girlfriend a few weeks ago. Girlfriend brought up The Ex once just to say that she hadn't asked them to come over for a long time; once The Ex found out that we were going to see the kids, she asked them to come over that same exact weekend.
Son and Girlfriend recently started planning the baby's birthday party; they created a Facebook event earlier today. Daughter saw the event on Facebook and said, "I wonder if they invited Mom." I asked why they wouldn't invite The Ex to the party. Daughter said that Son and Girlfriend are tired of The Ex "and the way that she treats them." I told Daughter that I could understand but it's not my place to say anything, so I was staying out of it. If they wanted to vent to me, that was fine; if they didn't want to vent to me, that was fine too. But I wasn't going to be in the middle of what happened between them and their mother.
And finally, we're drafting paperwork to take The Ex back to court for not paying her half of the medical bills. I'm probably a terrible person for it, but I can't stop laughing. In the spot where you're supposed to list her name I wrote, "[The Ex's first name & Ned's last name] f/k/a [The Ex's first name & Boyfriend's last name] f/k/a [The Ex's first name & her maiden name] f/k/a [The Ex's first name & Husband's last name]". I thought maybe I shouldn't write it like that because I don't want the commissioner to look at it and think Husband is being petty by listing all of her name changes, but the fact of the matter is that The Ex has used three of those four names in this case from 7 years ago; she just recently married Ned and changed her last name, so there needs to be consistency. If we file it under Ned's last name, there's no record of her having that last name.
I'm debating if we ought to include documentation of things such as Husband messaging The Ex about the interest on the medical bills, The Ex screenshotting only parts of his message, and then sending the edited version to Daughter with the phrase, "Your dad's a fucking jerk" just to solidify the point that The Ex is truly a raging asshole. I mean, Daughter is going to be 18 this year but still...The Ex wants to run her mouth, so I think we ought to let her explain to the court why she thought it was necessary to share that kind of information with her child who was only 16 years old at the time. But then The Ex will go whining to Daughter accusing us of reading all of her text messages and blah blah blah, so it's probably not worth the fight.
Daughter recently had a very busy weekend, which happened to fall on The Ex's weekend. Actually, it would typically have been our weekend except for the clause in the court order that gives The Ex any weekend that the kids had off of school on a Friday or Monday and switches if it's not already her weekend. Daughter had off on the Friday of that weekend which means that The Ex was supposed to pick her up at 5:30pm on Thursday. Daughter already knew that she had a lot of things going on that weekend and told us that she was going to stay here that weekend; I blogged about it here.
For reasons unknown, Daughter did not tell The Ex that she was staying until literally two days before she was supposed to get picked up. Monday morning of that week, Daughter tried calling The Ex on her cell phone but she didn't answer. Typically when this happens, Daughter will hang up and then call The Ex's work; if she doesn't answer the phone, Daughter will ask for her. Daughter opted not to do that this particular time, which furthers my assumption that she avoided telling The Ex that she wasn't coming because she didn't want to deal with The Ex getting angry with her.
Daughter told me that on Tuesday of that week, The Ex started texting her things like, "It's my weekend to have you! I get to pick you up on Thursday!" (I find this hilarious because The Ex frequently never knows what's going on in Daughter's life - when she has practice or a game, what her grades are, who she spends her time with, what the placement schedule is supposed to be, etc. But magically, there's one extra day because Daughter has off of school and The Ex suddenly knows that she's getting her that weekend.) Daughter said she texted back that there was a problem with that; she had an away game that Friday and that she had to go to a dance on Saturday. The Ex immediately blamed Daughter and complained, "Why the hell do you have to make plans on my weekend?" Daughter said she hadn't planned it; the student council had planned it, it happened to land on The Ex's weekend, and it was out of Daughter's control. (Kind of how the girls' basketball always goes to the state tournament every year and it happens to be around The Ex's birthday. Nobody does it on purpose, but The Ex would have you believe otherwise.) Daughter didn't say a lot after that, so I'm not sure how long the argument went on from that point. There is honestly no way to get The Ex to understand that Daughter's entire life is here, she's almost a legal adult, and The Ex cannot control her like a little puppet on a string.
We celebrated Christmas with Son and Girlfriend a few weeks ago. Girlfriend brought up The Ex once just to say that she hadn't asked them to come over for a long time; once The Ex found out that we were going to see the kids, she asked them to come over that same exact weekend.
Son and Girlfriend recently started planning the baby's birthday party; they created a Facebook event earlier today. Daughter saw the event on Facebook and said, "I wonder if they invited Mom." I asked why they wouldn't invite The Ex to the party. Daughter said that Son and Girlfriend are tired of The Ex "and the way that she treats them." I told Daughter that I could understand but it's not my place to say anything, so I was staying out of it. If they wanted to vent to me, that was fine; if they didn't want to vent to me, that was fine too. But I wasn't going to be in the middle of what happened between them and their mother.
And finally, we're drafting paperwork to take The Ex back to court for not paying her half of the medical bills. I'm probably a terrible person for it, but I can't stop laughing. In the spot where you're supposed to list her name I wrote, "[The Ex's first name & Ned's last name] f/k/a [The Ex's first name & Boyfriend's last name] f/k/a [The Ex's first name & her maiden name] f/k/a [The Ex's first name & Husband's last name]". I thought maybe I shouldn't write it like that because I don't want the commissioner to look at it and think Husband is being petty by listing all of her name changes, but the fact of the matter is that The Ex has used three of those four names in this case from 7 years ago; she just recently married Ned and changed her last name, so there needs to be consistency. If we file it under Ned's last name, there's no record of her having that last name.
I'm debating if we ought to include documentation of things such as Husband messaging The Ex about the interest on the medical bills, The Ex screenshotting only parts of his message, and then sending the edited version to Daughter with the phrase, "Your dad's a fucking jerk" just to solidify the point that The Ex is truly a raging asshole. I mean, Daughter is going to be 18 this year but still...The Ex wants to run her mouth, so I think we ought to let her explain to the court why she thought it was necessary to share that kind of information with her child who was only 16 years old at the time. But then The Ex will go whining to Daughter accusing us of reading all of her text messages and blah blah blah, so it's probably not worth the fight.
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