Vacations

Vacation 1
  Back in June, The Ex had planned an out-of-state trip with Ned, her kids, and Daughter.  They were gone for at least 3-4 days; The Ex then told Daughter she didn't want her going out-of-state with us because she was "scared" that Daughter was going to catch COVID.

Vacation 2
  We had a graduation party for Daughter in August; I told her she could invite The Ex's family if she wanted to, which she did.  The Ex told her that they weren't coming because a)they were going whitewater rafting that weekend and b)there were too many people attending the party and that Daughter was going to catch COVID.

Vacation 3
  In September, The Ex and Ned had planned a weekend vacation for just the two of them; they were not bringing The Ex's kids or Lucifer. (Lucifer is going to be the topic of my second post after this one; I'm going to highlight Vacation 4 in the next post.)  She told Daughter that she wanted her to drive herself up to Tiny City and watch the kids for the weekend.  Daughter wasn't thrilled about this prospect but asked her boss anyway; it turns out that 3 other people had requested off for that Saturday and two others were out of town, so Daughter needed to work.  Daughter told The Ex that she wasn't able to get off of work; The Ex complained, "Why not?  I gave you two weeks' notice." (A friend of mine very sharply recalled a situation just a few years ago when Son and Daughter needed to see the orthodontist monthly.  When Husband asked The Ex what day and time worked best for her, The Ex stated she needed to give her boss three weeks' notice to get an afternoon off to take her kids to a medical appointment.  Yet apparently, two weeks is more than sufficient time for Daughter to rearrange her life here to do The Ex a favor.)  I told Daughter that's ridiculous because there's no way that The Ex planned a trip in 2 weeks; she'd had it planned for awhile and should have let Daughter know much earlier.  Instead of planning around her kids and her family, The Ex once again made her own plans and wanted everyone else to accommodate what she'd already set in place.

  The Ex made a comment about having to figure out who was going to watch her kids for her while she and Ned were gone; Daughter told her to bring them to our house.  (Daughter didn't even ask us; she just said it because she likes to irk her mother and thought The Ex would explode if she suggested it.)  The Ex asked if Daughter was serious and Daughter said yes.  The Ex paused and then said, "...would your dad let me?" (And that single question has undone every lie she's ever told about us.  If we are these horrible, evil, abusive, mean, wicked people that The Ex is constantly portraying us to be, then why on earth would she even contemplate leaving them in our care?  Her willingness to leave her children with us just go to prove that she's either a pathological liar, a terrible mother, or a twisted combination of the two.)  Daughter said yes, Husband would let the kids come to our house. (Husband and I did talk about it later; we agreed that we would have allowed it.  Honestly, those kids would probably never have wanted to go back to The Ex's house ever again.)

  The Ex asked who was going to stay with the kids and Daughter said she'd be home with them. The Ex began asking Daughter if we "had good internet" because the kids needed to do their virtual learning; Daughter said yes, we had good internet.  The Ex asked, "But is it fast?" (No, it's good internet that's slow.  Dumbass...)  Daughter said yes, it was fast internet.  The Ex then asked if we would also take her dogs.  I told Daughter no, I didn't want extra animals in our house; the kids could come but I was drawing the line at the dogs. (We already have a total of five pets, including two small dogs that are relatively well-trained.  The Ex's dog barks. at. everything.  He also jumps up onto people and things, scratching them in the process.  I don't want that dog in my house.  Additionally, we have one male dog and both of The Ex's dogs are male; I'm not going to have a literal pissing match in my home because all three of them are trying to establish dominance in the same house.)

  The Ex ended up not bringing her kids to our house but later asked Daughter if she had actually been serious about her kids staying with us if she needed it. (Let's recap just a fraction of the lies that The Ex has spread about us over the years:  Husband is abusive, I'm crazy, we both bullied Son his senior year, we caused Son's depression, we favor our shared kids over Son & Daughter, we have sex and walk around naked in front of children, etc.  Let's go one step further and claim that all of these allegations are true.  How on earth would you even contemplate leaving your children with someone who could do all of these horrible things?) Daughter told her yes, Husband was willing to let the kids stay with us.  So I guess we'll wait and see what she says the next time she needs someone to watch her kids.

Vacation 4
  The Ex and Ned planned an out-of-state trip for approximately a week and a half.  The Ex asked Daughter to go with them, Daughter said she really didn't feel like it so she didn't request off of work and she didn't go.  She's since said that she kind of regrets not going because it looked like they were having a lot of fun, which I'm sure was intentional on The Ex's part.  Out of all of her vacations this year, The Ex didn't post about any of them on Facebook...until this one.  I'm not sure why this one was so special, unless The Ex was just trying to make Daughter feel bad for not going with them.

  A few days into their trip, The Ex posted 4 pictures of Ned and/or her kids laying on a bed together and looking extremely uncomfortable, with the caption:
"Our overnight stay. Beautiful pictures both on the bed and behind...(Uhhhh...what?) [The Ex's daughter and son] catching up on school work."

  Ten minutes later, The Ex posted sixteen pictures with the caption:
"We didn't make it to St. Louis to ride the arch... but, we went on a little detour on the out skirts ("Outskirts" is one word, but okay.) of St. Louis and went to a Renaissance Fair!!! (So...you didn't make it to St. Louis, but...you took a detour outside of St. Louis?  I...what?) Kids got to pet different animals and see different birds! A lemur, baby crocodile, baby kangaroo, horses, snakes..."

  Six minutes later, The Ex posted three pictures and a video with the caption:
"I think [Ned first & last name] and [The Ex's son] had the most fun throwing tomahawks!!! [Ned] got 2 out of 5 and little man almost got 2!!! I'm sure that'll be our new sport at home now (emoji of a woman holding her face)"
  The video that The Ex uploaded was almost a minute and half long.  I was absolutely reduced to tears in a fit of laughter while watching this video.  Everything was the perfect storm: Ned's ridiculously awkward and feminine throwing stance; an employee giving The Ex's son advice how to best throw the ax which he promptly ignored and utilized none of the advice that he'd been given; The Ex's son going to pick up his previously thrown axes while The Ex told him, "There's three of them for you, buddy, grab." (That's literally exactly what she said.  I don't know why she can't form complete sentences or thoughts.  It's like every time she speaks, her mouth is saying something while her brain is trying to say something else.); The Ex's daughter whining, "I'm bored!"; The Ex cheering & proclaiming that Ned "got it" which was followed by her zooming in on the wood panel, only to see that the ax was about 6 inches above the top of the target.

  Two days later, The Ex uploaded five pictures with the caption:
"Mini golfing with the family (Three emojis: one of a family, one of a smiley face with hearts, and one of a red heart) Had lots of fun!!!" (Wow, how sweet.  You're mini-golfing "with the family" yet you've only got two of your combined five children with you.  Such wonderful parenting.)

  Four minutes later, The Ex uploaded three pictures with the caption:
"[Ned first & last name] and [The Ex's son] carved 2 (two pumpkin emojis) They had tons of fun!! (Sooo...why didn't you or your daughter carve one?) Getting the guts out and all... I took all the seeds and we turned them into a sugary treat for us. We toasted them up with cinnamon and sugar... YUMMMMY!!!"
  One of The Ex's friends commented that her son looked so grown up.  The Ex replied, "I know. My last baby and I hate it. I'm glad he still loves to cuddle with me though (emoji of a smiley face with hearts) I hope that never ends (emoji of a sad face with a tear)" (She really doesn't get it.  Children are ours to raise, not keep.  They're not Pokemon.)

  The next night, The Ex uploaded a screenshot of her phone's home screen; her background picture is a picture of Ned, Son, The Ex's dad, and The Ex's son. (I don't get this.  Not even a little.  My background is either a)me and Husband, b)all four of the kids, or c)our entire family.) The Ex posted with the caption:
"4 of the men in my lives (emoji of smiley face with hearts) ("4 of the men"?  "Lives"??  How many "men" does she have, and how many "lives" does she have?) Love them all to death... but... was posting to show the temperature here in [state they were in]. Got up to 84° today." (So all she really wanted was to share the temperature at her current location.  Somehow that turned into screenshotting her home screen, uploading the picture, and talking about how much she loves the "men" in her "lives" before she FINALLY got to the point.  Not to mention the whole explanation about how she "loves them all to death... but..." pretty much just goes to show that she knew how stupid it was to post the picture in the first place.) 

  Four minutes later, The Ex uploaded five pictures with the caption:
"We were horseback riding on this warm beautiful day. [The Ex's daughter and son] want to go again (emoji of a smiley face with hearts) Next year..." (Horseback riding is only something that can be done once a year, orrrr....?)

  Nine minutes later, The Ex posted six pictures with the caption:
"After horseback riding, we got to pick out souvenirs. (They "got" to pick out souvenirs?  Were they the only ones able to do this?  Was it a limited time souvenir experience?  This doesn't even make sense.) [Ned first & last name] and Little Man [The Ex's son] got nice Cowboy Hats (emoji of a smiley face with hearts) (Well, I am certainly glad that they got "nice" hats instead of crappy ones.  Also, neither "cowboy" or "hats" should be capitalized.) Miss [The Ex's daughter] picked out another dream catcher (emoji of a red heart)  My Handsome Men and Beautiful Girl (emojis of a smiley face with heart and a red heart) (I will never understand the random capitalization in her sentences.  Ever.  Also, one of the pictures of Ned wearing his cowboy hat is everything that I never knew I always needed.  I'll upload it at the end of this post.)

  Almost two hours later, The Ex posted three pictures and a video with the caption:
"[The Ex's daughter] found her Bambi!!! (They were at some type of park and The Ex's daughter was petting a fawn.) Or how [The Ex's younger sister] would put it... MUFASA (emoji of a laughing-crying face)" (I assume this is some type of inside joke, probably because of some comment that The Ex's sister made...?  I don't know.  I mean, I have inside jokes but I don't post them on Facebook; that's because it's not funny to anybody else when they don't understand what you're talking about.)
  The Ex's sister replied that "they were just talking about that they other day."  The Ex replied, "[Sister's first & last name], actually your niece told me to post that like this (emoji of a kissing face)" ("Post that like this."  *beating head against wall*)  The Ex's sister replied, "Too funny."  The Ex then said, "well you can make fun of her when we get home. (...what?  How did we go from sharing pictures to making fun of a 12-year-old?) We ate a later dinner tonight and she goes and gets the ketchup from the counter sits down at the table and SHAKES THE DAMN BOTTLE...ketchup every freaking where!!!! Her, me, floor, table, jaket behind her (emoji of a woman holding her face)" (1)What does your "later dinner" have to do with anything else in this story?  2)I thought everyone shook the ketchup bottle before using it since the water separates and rests on top...is this not normal?  Was she not supposed to shake the ketchup?  3)Holy run-on sentence.  4)*jacket.)

  Out of all 41 of these pictures and two videos (I excluded the upload of her home screen), The Ex's son was wearing a mask in 3 of them; The Ex's daughter and Ned weren't wearing a mask in any of the pictures or videos.  I can't say what The Ex was/wasn't wearing because she didn't upload any pictures of herself.  I'd love an explanation as to how traveling through multiple states making multiple stops is is "safe," yet they needed to miss Daughter's graduation party because it was going to give everybody COVID-19.  Oh, that's right...there are no rules in the Land of Hypocrisy.



  And after all of that nonsense, I have to share this picture of Ned with you.  It's just spectacular.  The day that The Ex posted this online, I was having a pretty rough day; when I saw this, it turned everything around.  I've blurred out Ned's face and shirt for anonymity purposes.  I don't understand anything about this - why he posed like this, what the pose is supposed to be/look like, why The Ex thought this was a good picture and/or why she uploaded it onto the internet.  I just. don't. understand. 

  Disclaimer: before any of you even think about starting in on me for making fun of Ned, just remember that this idiot chose his narcissist wife and her children over his son. (This is coincidentally going to be the topic of my next blog post.)  Daughter used to always talk about how The Ex had problems with Lucifer; within the past year, she and Girlfriend have both made numerous comments that Lucifer "doesn't really come over [to Ned's house] anymore."  So if you're going to try to defend him, save yourself the energy and the keyboard characters.

  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:  Cowboy Ned.