Holiday Crazy 2021, part 4.

 She's back at it again, y'all.

  Girlfriend messaged me last night super pissed at The Ex because she's starting crap about Christmas.  She sent me a bunch of screenshots of the conversations, told me that The Ex has brought up Christmas Day about 3 different times even though Girlfriend has already told The Ex what their plans were, and now The Ex is using her narcissistic manipulation to turn Son and Girlfriend against each other.

  Despite having already previously asked and being provided an answer, The Ex messaged both Son and Girlfriend in a group chat last night.  Here's a transcript:

     The Ex:  Can you [Son] and kids be at our house on Saturday at 10:30am
     Girlfriend:  Tbh I'm not sure we can try to be but we're also having our Christmas here first (Girlfriend said that The Ex asked a few months ago and asked again last week; Girlfriend told her both times that she and Son wanted to celebrate with their kids at home first, and would come over afterwards.)
     The Ex:  I know. (...then why are you asking them to be there at 10:30am?) I would like to have our Christmas done by 1pm so we can clean up before everyone arrives, that's all (I asked why The Ex was having people over if she didn't have enough time; Girlfriend said that The Ex wanted "her family" to celebrate Christmas before The Ex's nieces & nephews came over - yet she's expecting Son to compromise his family's Christmas so that The Ex can do things the way that she wants.)
     Son:  I wanna sleep in I work Christmas eve and after Christmas so I'd like to sleep in and get some cuddles from the three babies. Work is running holiday hours so I'm working like almost 10 hours day (I was honestly really proud of Son for saying this to The Ex; he was very straight-forward and factual about what he wanted and why he wanted it.  But unfortunately, Son does not understand his mother's narcissism so this was short-lived.)
     The Ex:  Thats ok. Maybe you'll make it when ever [Daughter] wants to see her real mom (Aaaand, there it is.  The narcissistic guilt trip.  Son is not doing what The Ex wants, so she's going to make him feel bad for her because Daughter "doesn't want to see her" and make him feel as if it's his responsibility to fix things.)
     Girlfriend:  We planned to come on Saturday do you not want us to? (Good for her for saying this.  They both told The Ex that they'd be over, just not at the time that she requested.  The Ex then said it was ok and said maybe they'd make it "when ever" so yeah, that sounds like they're no longer supposed to come on Christmas Day.)
     The Ex:  If you want. (They never said they didn't want to come.  They told you they were not going to come at the time you requested because they already had plans.) Just let me know by tomorrow so I have time (So she "has time" for what???  Like her entire schedule on Christmas Day is going to shift based on whether or not Son and Girlfriend go to her house?)
     Girlfriend:  I mean I canceled Christmas with my parents because we wanted to spend it with you guys this year. Coming to your house was our plan for a few weeks now I'm confused I feel like you don't want us there now. Im sorry that we can't make it earlier I really am but I did cancel plans with my parents because we want to spend it with you guys. (Girlfriend said this message was a joint effort between her and Son.  She wanted to reply with something else but Son told her that it made her sound like a bitch and that she shouldn't send it.)
     The Ex:  Ok (That's it.  Girlfriend says she cancelled plans with her parents so they could spend time with The Ex and Ned, and all The Ex can say about it is "Ok"....I cannot stand this woman.)


  Girlfriend then got upset because Son started to feel bad for The Ex and he told Girlfriend that they were going to have to try to get to The Ex & Ned's house a little earlier than they wanted or planned.  I told Girlfriend they didn't have to do anything; they had plans with their own family and The Ex doesn't get to dictate to them what they're going to do.  And then to make things worse, Son messaged The Ex on his own and apologized for both him and Girlfriend.  I told Girlfriend that Son was wrong because he was now prioritizing his mother over his partner and children, and he was apologizing to The Ex when they had done nothing wrong that required an apology.

  My Christmas wish this year is that Son would grow a spine when it comes to The Ex and realize that she is not his problem to fix and she is not his responsibility.