Birthday drama.

   I feel like I'm going to forever apologize for the lack of updates.  Our life has just become so normal and boring since we are no longer required to tolerate narcissism in the name of shared parenting.  The only time there's a blip on our radar is when The Ex starts her crap with Son and/or Daughter.

  Which is exactly what she's been doing lately, and it really hit the fan this weekend.  This is going to be a fairly long post because up until I started typing it all out, I somehow forgot all the stuff that The Ex has said/done to her kids since Christmas.

  A little over a month ago, we celebrated a late Christmas with all four of our kids, Girlfriend, and both grandkids.  Husband and I got a condo for the weekend and we all stayed together.  While we were there, Girlfriend asked Son if The Ex was going to help contribute toward the cost of the hall rental for Grandson's birthday because Girlfriend's parents were paying for it and The Ex had previously said she was going to help out.  Son texted The Ex who told him that she didn't have any money, that she'd finished paying for her and Ned's trip that they're taking in March, she's only got a small amount of their fall trip paid for, that she and Ned hadn't filed their taxes yet, and that she was "seriously broke" until she got her tax refund.  Girlfriend relayed this to her mom who commented that The Ex previously claimed she was setting money aside to help out for the birthday party, but she was now magically "broke" and didn't have the money she'd claimed she would have.

  That same night, Daughter texted The Ex about her Netflix account password so that she could log back in.  According to Daughter, The Ex was drunk and kept repeating herself and misunderstanding what Daughter was asking for.  At some point, The Ex's daughter also got on the phone with Daughter and asked her for $200.  Daughter asked her sister why on earth she'd need $200; her sister replied that she "wants an iPhone."  Her sister said that Daughter could give her the $200 instead of buying her a Christmas gift and a birthday gift; Daughter replied that she hadn't bought anyone Christmas gifts.  Her sister replied, "Mom says you're lying about that." (...seriously, what is wrong with this woman?!  As I explained to Son, Girlfriend and Daughter: if I really wanted to be an asshole and buy only Son a Christmas gift and not my other 3 kids, I could do that if it was my prerogative.  I'm not going to do it, but the point is that I can spend my money however I see fit; Daughter is entitled to do the same.  If she wants to buy a gift for one sibling and not the rest, she's allowed to do that.  If Daughter wants to buy gifts for one parent and not the other, then she can do that.  Daughter doesn't "owe" people gifts.)  Daughter said she wasn't lying, she hadn't bought anyone Christmas presents and that her sister should ask The Ex and Ned for the money if she wanted the phone; her sister replied that their mom didn't have any money and that Daughter had a "good-paying job."  Daughter snapped at her sister that The Ex always said that, she was tired of hearing it, that's not a reason to ask for money all the time, and if The Ex didn't think she made enough money then she could go get a better paying job than what she had now.  The Ex got back on the phone and told Daughter that Boyfriend's sister had already given her daughter $300 but she still needed more money.  Daughter told The Ex that if her sister needed money, then she ought to get a job and earn it to buy the phone herself.

  The next day, I don't remember what we were all talking about but somehow The Ex got brought up and that she was going on vacation this month.  It turns out that The Ex is leaving for vacation the day before they're having Grandson's party and she's going to be gone the entire weekend.  So this will be the second year in a row that The Ex has missed Grandson's birthday.

  About three weeks after we had our Christmas together, Girlfriend messaged me asking if she could rant about The Ex.  I told her to go right ahead.  Girlfriend said that she'd heard from The Ex's mom that The Ex was complaining that Girlfriend is "keeping the kids away from her." (Same song, different dance.  It used to be Husband that was keeping Son and Daughter away from The Ex; now it's Girlfriend that's keeping the grandkids away from The Ex.  Woe is me, boo hoo hoo...I seriously cannot roll my eyes enough at the stupidity of this.) Girlfriend said they hadn't seen The Ex since Christmas, that they hadn't been invited to Ned & The Ex's house, and that nobody had asked to come over to Son & Girlfriend's apartment.  Girlfriend said that she'd brought up getting together the week before Grandson's party since The Ex and Ned were going to be on vacation for the party and The Ex said, "We'll see." (You're making the allegation that your grandkids are being kept away from you, but you can't make plans to see them?  Huh??) Girlfriend said that the day she was messaging me, she'd messaged The Ex asking if it would be okay if she brought the kids over while Son was at work that Saturday; Girlfriend said to me that even though The Ex was talking crap about her, she still wanted to try to be the bigger person.  Girlfriend said that The Ex opened the message but never replied to her. (Call me crazy but this sure doesn't sound like Girlfriend is doing anything to "keep the kids away from The Ex.") A few hours later, The Ex messaged Son asking if he could bring the kids over on Saturday.  Son told The Ex that Girlfriend would be able to bring the kids over; The Ex told him "never mind." (So you're whining that you don't see your grandkids, but then decline multiple opportunities to see your grandkids.  Got it.  Completely logical and sane.  Nothing wrong here at all.)

  Sometime last week, Son called me panicking and asked to borrow money.  He said he'd screwed up at work, he needed the money or he was going to be in serious trouble.  Son said that he'd already called The Ex about it but he still needed money.  I told him honestly that I didn't have all of what he needed to borrow but I could get him some of it.  I wanted to talk to Girlfriend about it first because I certainly wasn't going to cause a rift by loaning Son money without her knowing exactly what was going on.  In the end, Girlfriend's parents ended up loaning them the full amount but Girlfriend was pissed at The Ex.  She said that Son told her he called The Ex and asked her to loan them the money; he said The Ex told him that she didn't have the money but even if she did, she wouldn't give it to him.  Girlfriend said that she knew The Ex was lying because Ned had told her they'd already gotten their tax refund.  I guess Son asked The Ex if she cared and she said no because she "never sees them anymore." (Literally less than 2 weeks after refusing to see Girlfriend and/or the grandkids, The Ex tells Son that she "doesn't care" because she "never sees them anymore."  She's such garbage.)

  Just recently, The Ex had her birthday.  There were a number of people in their family group chat that wished her a happy birthday.  Daughter tried to call The Ex to wish her a happy birthday but The Ex did not answer; however, 10 minutes later, The Ex responded to the family group chat but never returned Daughter's call.  Daughter figured no big deal, The Ex was at work and not supposed to be on her phone, she'd just call her later.  Daughter called later that night; The Ex still wouldn't answer her phone.  Daughter said that The Ex was pissing her off because Daughter could see that The Ex was online but wasn't answering the phone.  Daughter finally called Ned's phone because she knew he'd answer.  When Ned answered, Daughter asked where The Ex was; Ned said she was "reading her book" and asked if Daughter wanted to talk to The Ex.  Daughter said yes because she'd been trying to call The Ex to wish her a happy birthday but The Ex wasn't answering; Ned made the excuse that The Ex usually turned her phone on silent. (Yeah, okay...if you believe that, I also have some oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you.) Daughter was finally able to wish The Ex a happy birthday and commented about Ned making dinner.  The Ex replied, "Yeah.  I wanted to go to Texas Roadhouse, but with gas prices the way that they are, we're not going." (The nearest Texas Roadhouse is almost 80 miles from Tiny City.  High gas prices or not, I find it completely stupid to travel this far when there are literally dozens of other restaurants within half the driving distance.  I was just at Texas Roadhouse a few weeks ago; it's not that magical.)  The Ex babbled on about how she wasn't going to drive far to go out to eat, but then said that they were going to a city near New City the next day.  Daughter asked why they were going; The Ex said that her daughter had a haircut appointment, The Ex was getting her hair done, and they were spending the night at The Ex's friend's house. (This is the same woman who used to be married to a relative of Boyfriend's; the same woman who is a convicted felon because she was caught stealing from her employer, the one who helps The Ex with her legal paperwork, and the one who "kept [Ned and The Ex] together" at their "shity" wedding.)

  Daughter woke up the next day and decided she was going to go visit The Ex at her friend's house; she hadn't seen The Ex since October and she said she'd rather drive to the friend's house than all the way to Tiny City. (This is how you know that Daughter is an amazing person.  The Ex refused to even answer her phone calls the day before, but Daughter still makes the effort to spend time with her.) Daughter ended up spending the night there.  She said that she ended up showing her tattoos to The Ex and telling her that she and I have matching ones. (I swear Daughter is on a mission to try and make her mother's head explode.) I asked what The Ex said about that; Daughter said that The Ex didn't say anything, probably because she had been drinking/was drunk when Daughter told her.  This is the calmest part of this story.

  The next day while Daughter was on her way back home, Girlfriend messaged me and said she is "so fucking over [The Ex]."  I asked what happened.  Girlfriend said that 4 days prior, she and Son had asked The Ex to babysit the kids that day so that they could go buy a birthday present for Grandson and go clothes shopping; The Ex had told them yes, she'd babysit.  Girlfriend said that they'd asked again the night before and The Ex again told them that she would babysit, but said it would have to be after 2pm.  That morning, Girlfriend said she told Son to text The Ex saying they would leave their place around 2-2:30pm.  The Ex replied that she wasn't going to be home until 8pm that night. (After previously stating twice that she'd babysit her grandchildren that are being "kept from her," The Ex freaking bails less than two and a half hours before she was supposed to watch them.) Girlfriend said she got mad and said, "Thanks a lot, [The Ex]."  Girlfriend said that The Ex heard this and replied, "I can't always watch your kids, [Girlfriend]." (I literally cannot believe that this even came out of her mouth.  A few weeks ago, she's bitching that Girlfriend wouldn't let her see the kids, but now she "can't always watch them"?!  Seriously, does this woman even comprehend how sociopathic this behavior is??) Girlfriend said she went off and told The Ex to find someone else to watch The Ex's kids that upcoming weekend and threw in, "I can't always watch YOUR kids." (The Ex was supposed to babysit her grandchildren for a few hours for one day; she wanted Son & Girlfriend to watch her kids for an entire weekend while she was on vacation.  But she has the audacity to claim she "can't always watch their kids.") I told Girlfriend that The Ex had a lot of nerve to make a comment like that right before she expects Girlfriend to do her a favor.  Girlfriend said literally every year, she watches The Ex's kids for an entire week; I said it's because The Ex is busy going on vacation with all the money she doesn't have.  Girlfriend said that they never ask The Ex to watch the kids; she said the last time was over four months ago and it was only for two hours.  Girlfriend said she's over it, she told Son that The Ex can fuck off, and this was just one more thing to add to the list of stuff that she's tired of dealing with.

  I asked if Girlfriend was actually going to not watch The Ex's kids because I felt like Son would cave and give in to The Ex's demands, but that didn't mean that Girlfriend needed to; if Son wanted to watch them, then Son could go watch them.  I also told her that I didn't know why she even bothered watching The Ex's kids after this shitshow happened.  Girlfriend said that they were supposed to either bring The Ex's kids to their place or spend the night at Ned's, but she wasn't going to anymore.  She also said that Son won't watch the kids because The Ex "doesn't trust him" to watch the kids.  Girlfriend said if The Ex can't even watch her grandkids for a few hours, then she's not helping The Ex out; she said she's done being nice to someone who doesn't give a shit about anyone other than herself.

  All of that in less than three full months.  I feel like this year is going to be an absolute wreck for everyone who has the displeasure of being associated with The Ex.