She's still just as ridiculous as ever.

   Again, I'm sorry for the lack of updates.  Husband and I have absolutely no contact with The Ex anymore so our life is much more peaceful.  The only time we hear about her is typically when she starts her nonsense with Son, Girlfriend, and/or Daughter...which is exactly what happened a few weeks ago.

  Girlfriend had posted and also sent me some pictures of the grandbabies during July 4th; I could tell from the scenery that they were all over at Ned & The Ex's house celebrating.  So that should have been a nice time, but it's never a nice time when your mother is a narcissist.

  On July 10th, The Ex started messaging everyone in the family group chat:
     "Having a birthday party for [The Ex's daughter] on Saturday, July 30th. She'll be 14
     Dinner and yard games, fire later with sparklers and roman candles"
     "Starts around 4pm"
     "You can come a little earlier to play games"
     "Hopefully [Son] and [Daughter] can make it too since [date] is [Daughter's] birthday and [date] is [Son's] birthday... 20 and 22.
     [The Ex's daughter's] birthday is actually [date]!"
  So just to clarify, The Ex was NOT having a birthday party for Son or Daughter; this party was only for her daughter.  But since all three of their birthdays are close, she wanted Son & Daughter to also come to the party that she planned without any input from them and without any consideration for their lives or schedules.

  This isn't even the worst part of it.

  Son still has his checking account at the bank where The Ex works.  So a few hours after the messages about his-sister's-but-not-his-party, he messaged The Ex asking if she could send him his account information because he was starting a new job and wanted to use direct deposit.  Girlfriend was so pissed off about it that she sent me screenshots of the conversation:

     Son:  Can you send me my bank info?
     Son:  So they can pay me????
     Son:  The new job
  *Not exactly sure how long, but time goes by with no reply from The Ex*
     Son:  Mum?
     The Ex:  Yeah
     Son:  I'm sorry (Wait a minute...what?  Why is he sorry??)
     The Ex:  For
     Son:  Your mad at me (This is the stronghold that she has over this poor child's mind, heart, emotions, etc.  He has done absolutely nothing wrong, but he knows that she's ignoring him because she's mad at him; worse yet, he is apologizing to her for the unknown "offense" that he committed.)
     The Ex:  I'm not mad. Just disappointed. I feel frustrated that you see your dad more than you see me and [Ned] and the kiddos. (....she literally cannot go a single day without thinking and/or talking about Husband, can she?  These kids are 22 and 20 years old; we haven't had any communication with her in nearly 2 years.  But she starts whining at Son and the first reference she makes is towards Husband; I just can't imagine being this obsessed with someone.  And FYI, on the date that The Ex said all of this to Son, we hadn't seen them for exactly 7 weeks/56 days; she'd seen Son, Girlfriend, and both of the grandkids only six days prior to accusing Son of "seeing his dad more than her.") My heart breaks that you live so near but still feel so far away. (...you saw him SIX DAYS AGO.) We try and not ask too much of you guys and always kept my mouth shut... (They try not to ask too much of Son and/or Girlfriend?  I mean, except for when they wanted them to provide the transportation for Daughter when it was The Ex's visitation periods.  Or when The Ex & Ned take week-long vacations and ask/demand that Son or Girlfriend babysit The Ex's kids, house-sit in their absence, and/or watch their dogs.  Or when The Ex wants Son to take his brother for a haircut.  I mean, I could literally sit here all day long and list ways that The Ex has asked/demanded that Son handle something that is clearly her responsibility.) your sister has hurt me more than words can express them and in more ways than one. (She was referring to Daughter, who was so pissed when she heard about this that she said she wasn't even going to the birthday party.  The Ex was literally talking to Daughter's ex-boyfriend behind her back, but wants to whine to Son how Daughter has "hurt her."  She's so disgusting.)

     I wish my older 2 kids would think of me more and want to see me on a regular basis, even if it was 1 full day a month. (Again, she had seen Son a mere S-I-X days before she said this.  Apparently that's not frequent enough.  Or maybe she's too stupid to realize what "1 full day a month" means.) I would die a happy mom, if that could happen. (Daughter repeated this a few weeks ago and before I could stop it, I blurted out, "No, she wouldn't be a 'happy mom' because she's a miserable bitch."  I apologized and Daughter said, "No, don't apologize because it's true.") I hide my sadness and frustration cry to [Ned] a lot and I'm sure he's sick of me too. (Oh, stfu already...)
     I LOVE YOU AND [DAUGHTER] SO MUCH... I MISS YOU BOTH.
     All I want is your happiness. (I told Girlfriend that this is the narcissistic bait-and-switch routine: tell Son what a terrible person he is and how he's hurt her, then point out how Daughter has hurt her, throw in a bunch of untrue statements (i.e.: them seeing Husband more than her, her keeping her mouth shut, not asking anything of them, etc), then paint herself as the victim by claiming that Ned is "sick of her too," and then finish it off by saying all she wants is for Son to be happy because that will leave Son feeling like he has to fix it for her after the barrage of bullshit that she just assaulted him with.)
     Son:  I'm sorry (He's still apologizing when he didn't do anything wrong.  This poor kid...I cannot tell you how hard I have prayed, and continue to pray, that he finds the strength to break this cycle and get himself out from under her crushing grip.) we had to do shopping we had no food in our fridge or even snacks for the kids. And I wanted to relax afterwords I start this job tomorrow. 6 to 3 Monday to Thursday and 6 to 12 on Friday so we could start doing things on Friday or something (Son is trying to justify why he and Girlfriend didn't come visit that weekend because he still doesn't understand that this is not a healthy, loving relationship; you are allowed to say no to invitations without having to provide a reason for it.  Girlfriend told me that The Ex was pissed because even though they'd just been over on July 4th, she wanted them to come back that weekend and they hadn't; Girlfriend said that The Ex only wanted them over "so she could show off her grandkids like they are trophies to the rest of the family." ) and I wouldn't ask for money if we really didn't need it. (Son had asked The Ex to loan them money, which is what he's referring to here.  Girlfriend wasn't happy about it because they've borrowed money from The Ex before and it's been absolute hell the entire time they paid her back.) I'm hoping they pay weekly so we can get you your money faster. The kids don't really have many clothes neither do I or [Girlfriend]. We've been really hurting too. I live you miss you
     The Ex:  Im really excited for you and your new job. Food is very important... just think about me... a little (Food is very important, but The Ex and her feelings are obviously very importanter.)
     Love Sweetie *emoji with hearts around face* Good luck with your new job. Let me know how you like it!
     Son:  I will mom

  So about 2 weeks after all that craziness, Son and Girlfriend came to visit us for the weekend.  Son had told Girlfriend that if/when they get married, he wants to walk down the aisle with both The Ex and me because "we're both his moms."  I told both Son and Girlfriend that I am extremely flattered and touched that Son wants this, and I would absolutely be honored to walk with him...but I do not believe for one second that his mother is going to accept this is any way, shape, or form.  Son said that he just wanted all of us to get along; I told him that I agreed with him but I had accepted years ago that it was not going to happen.  I told him that I don't hate his mom, I don't care what she does with her life - but she does not want to get along with me or Husband, and that was not Son's problem or responsibility to fix. (I told Husband later that I had a fleeting thought of calling the Dr. Phil show and seeing if they wanted to tackle the insanity that is this family.  Husband said it wouldn't do any good and I agreed; I said that The Ex would never admit to any of her own faults, especially not on TV in front of the entire world...but at least Son would be able to see that we tried.)

  And to round off the craziness, The Ex just announced to her family that she's having her son's birthday party in September.  His actual birthday is on a weekend in October, but I guess celebrate 4 weeks early because...yeah.