Holiday Crazy rages on.

   A few weeks ago, Girlfriend messaged me on a Sunday morning with a screenshot of a message that had been sent to her & Son from The Ex.  The backstory to this message/screenshot was that The Ex had agreed that she and Ned would babysit the grandkids overnight on Saturday and keep them until 5pm on Sunday because Son & Girlfriend wanted to go hunting.

  Just after 10am on Sunday that weekend, The Ex sent this message to them:
"Well, [Grandson] got up with us a little after 8am. [Granddaughter] is still sleeping
[Grandson] wet himself over night. (Kind of weird because Grandson has been potty-trained for a few months now.  But realistically, he's a toddler and that's why they call it an "accident" because that's exactly what it is.) I did a quick wash in shower while he was standing, but just washed his back and belly down... he really stunk *frowning emoji* (Well, urine doesn't smell good so it's not surprising that he "stunk" after having an accident.  I don't know why The Ex thought it was necessary to add that part but whatever.) I had [Ned] bring in his inhaler while I was rinsing him, he was crying and coughing. He settled down as soon as I turned off the water. (....this is starting to get really weird. Grandson loves taking baths/showers, he loves swimming, he loves playing in water.  This is now the second time that I've heard of The Ex bathing him and her claiming that he was screaming and/or crying the whole time.)
[Ned] and I have tried to clean up the huge wet spot on our air mattress. (Oh, so the accident wasn't even in a bed or on a couch.  That's awesome; air mattresses are basically plastic so this should be super easy to clean up.) I'm not happy at all it happened. (.....I want to tell you that she was kidding, but she wasn't.  Not even a little.  Grandson had an accident and The Ex was angry about it.) Poor dogs are locked up all morning so mattress can dry. (What the fu...why are the dogs locked up?!  Hang the stupid mattress in the bathroom or a bedroom, or even in the basement where you used to force Son & Daughter to sleep!  Why on earth would the dogs need to be locked up because of a wet air mattress?!)
I don't mind watching our grandbabies but next time, please bring pull up for night time. (Girlfriend was so upset about this.  She's really worked with Grandson to get him potty-trained; she said that he hasn't had a nighttime accident in a very long time, either at home or if he sleeps at her parents' house.  Girlfriend didn't bring a Pull-Up for Grandson because he didn't need one; she told The Ex to have Grandson use the bathroom before he went to sleep and he would be fine.  But again, this is coming from The Ex who had Son & Daughter wearing Pull-Ups at night when they were almost 9 and 7 years old.  They didn't have medical issues that required Pull-Ups to be a necessity; she just never made sure that they used the bathroom before bed.  She bought Pull-Ups, told them to wear them, and called that parenting.)
[Ned] is making breakfast now, so we'll see you guys around noon, 1 o'clock (So much for her keeping the grandkids until 5pm, but okay.)"

  Girlfriend was furious about this and I told her that I didn't blame her.  I said the whole message irritated me because it was nothing more than a bunch of whining for no reason other than trying to make Son & Girlfriend feel bad.  We talked a bit more and Girlfriend said she was going to go pick up the kids right away because she was worried that The Ex was treating Grandson like crap over an accident that he didn't even remember having.

  A couple hours later, Girlfriend messaged me again.  She said that none of Grandson's underwear were dirty and both kids were wearing the same clothes that she had dropped them off in the day before; she said she put pajamas in their overnight bag and found them still rolled up exactly like she'd packed them.  Girlfriend said she was positive that Grandson didn't have an accident because none of his other clothes were worn and he was wearing the same thing from the day before. (I just can't process the insanity of this.  The Ex claimed that Grandson peed all over an air mattress, yet his clothes were all clean.  As I typed this, something just clicked in my brain: I wonder if The Ex was doing her weird thing where she insists on giving Grandson a bath/shower, he had a meltdown, so she made up a story about him having an accident to cover her ass if Grandson said something about being upset in the tub.)

  A few days after all of that, Girlfriend messaged me again saying that The Ex was pissing her off; she said that The Ex was on the phone with Son and was gaslighting him.  I asked what was going on.  Girlfriend said that The Ex and her family ("family" meaning The Ex's parents, siblings, spouses, nieces & nephews, etc) had decided they were all going to celebrate Christmas in a town that's about 30 minutes from Our City.  Not only is it a long drive, but they decided to celebrate on Christmas Eve.  The Ex announced these plans to Son and told him that he'd "better be there."  Son told The Ex that they're celebrating on Christmas Eve, it's a 3-hour drive to get there and back home again, and that Grandson doesn't do well being in the car for that long so he and Girlfriend would have to talk about it.  The Ex told Son that "wasn't fair" because she wants them to come to the party and then asked him, "Why can't you guys ever just do anything for me?"

  Girlfriend said she butted in at this point and told The Ex that they watch her kids more than she watches the grandkids; she said they also pick up The Ex's kids from school.  Girlfriend said that it wasn't about them wanting/not wanting to come, it was about the drive and the fact that the party is on Christmas Eve.  The Ex replied, "Well I drove every weekend with my kids and I always made it work." (WHAT.  DID.  SHE.  JUST.  SAY.)  Girlfriend said she replied that her kids are not The Ex's kids, so it's not the same thing.  Girlfriend said that The Ex then switched from having a bitchy tone of voice to "crying" within two seconds and started telling Girlfriend to put Son on the phone because "this is for his mom."  Girlfriend said that they never told The Ex no or that they weren't coming; they simply said that they'd have to talk about it.  The Ex then said, "Whatever," muttered something about Son and/or Girlfriend being disappointing and hung up on them.

  Girlfriend and I talked more about it.  I pulled out screenshots of The Ex literally telling Husband that if she has someone else pick up Son or Daughter for her, that's not any of his business; the pictures also included The Ex stating she "usually" had to pay whoever picked the kids up for her.  So no, she did not "drive every weekend with her kids and always made it work."  Girlfriend said that even Son brought that up after The Ex hung up on them; he said that after he got his temps and The Ex would actually pick them up herself, she'd made him drive back to Tiny City.  I said yes, The Ex would get in the passenger seat and go to sleep instead of watching Son drive and providing help/assistance/recommendations/anything at all.

  Girlfriend said it seems like The Ex's "mothering" toward Son & Daughter was spent sleeping half of the time.  Girlfriend also said that as a mom herself, she doesn't know why every weekend that The Ex had placement/physical custody of Son, she allowed him to spend the entire time at Girlfriend's parents' house; she said that her parents didn't know that Son was sneaking in, but The Ex knew and would lie and cover it up for them.  Girlfriend said now that she's a mom, she has no idea why The Ex would even be okay with that; she said that The Ex "gave 0 shits about [Son] as a teen" but now that he's grown up, she wants to control his every move.

  A day or two after that, Girlfriend said that The Ex had sent her a message saying "We need to talk" and that she left The Ex on read because there was nothing to talk about.  I very sarcastically told Girlfriend that they needed to talk about why she and Son were being so disrespectful and not doing exactly what The Ex wanted; I said that I couldn't believe her audacity to consider what's best for their family instead of keeping The Ex happy.  Girlfriend sarcastically replied that she thought she really needed to grow up.  Girlfriend then said that she told Son to tell The Ex that if they were coming to the party on Saturday, they were going to spend the night by us on Friday.  I said that The Ex's head would explode; Girlfriend replied, "Hopefully" and I tried to not laugh too hard.

  Some time went by and The Ex's family decided to change the location of their party to Hometown.  I suggested to Girlfriend that since our plans for Christmas have also changed this year, she and Son were welcome to come visit for the weekend if they'd like.  That way we could see them, the drive wouldn't be so long for them to attend the family Christmas party, and The Ex could shut up about them coming.  Girlfriend said she liked the idea, she'd talk to Son and let me know what they decided.  Daughter said she also liked that idea because then she wouldn't need to drive herself to the party because she hates driving in the snow and she hates driving at night; if Son and Girlfriend came to visit, she could ride with them.

  And then, out of the blue, Son messages me on Sunday afternoon.  He first sent a screenshot of the family group chat; The Ex's oldest sister asked if any of The Ex's kids were coming to the party other than the younger two.  The Ex replied, "They don't talk to me... most likely a no" and then claimed that she has "begged all of them" to attend the party. (That's odd.  Girlfriend told me that The Ex gave them the date and location of the party and demanded that they attend; there was no "begging" involved.") And then for no reason at all, The Ex added, "I'm not [my name]." (I literally do not understand why this woman cannot keep my name out of her mouth.  I was never part of this conversation, I have nothing to do with it, I am not involved but she insists on trying to drag me into it.)  Son sent me the screenshot and said his life was f*cked, asked which way he was supposed to run when he needed help, said that The Ex called him a disappointment because he wasn't going to the Christmas party.  Son also said a few other things that were misspelled but I think he said that The Ex told him that she didn't like him and she was only there for him when Grandson was born.  I told Son that he was not a disappointment and that his family - Girlfriend, Grandson and Granddaughter - are his priority.  Not me, not his dad, not The Ex.  I told him that he had nothing to feel bad about.  I also told him that Husband and I love him and while we can't always be there physically, we are here for him whenever he needs it and will help him however we can.

  Son read my messages but didn't respond so I was messaging Girlfriend yesterday and asked how he was doing.  She said he'd been moody lately; she didn't know if it was because of The Ex.  Girlfriend said that The Ex has "been on a rampage" (Cue the Holiday Crazy!!!) because Girlfriend had taken the grandkids to see Santa and posted pictures; The Ex messaged Girlfriend asking her why she "doesn't ever include [Son] in things."  Girlfriend told her that she does include him, he didn't want to go to that particular event.  Girlfriend said that The Ex was talking behind their backs to her mom and sister, claiming that she "didn't give a shit about [Son]" and that Girlfriend "changed him" and who knows what else.  I told her that Son being moody wasn't from her; it's probably from the holidays plus all this crap that The Ex is throwing at him because he knows she's wrong but he grew up being told that he'd better not ever say that she was.  Girlfriend said that Son really did want to go to the family party, but he doesn't want to see The Ex.  I told Girlfriend about the screenshot that Son had sent me; she said that The Ex was pissing her off.  She said The Ex acts like Son and Daughter are the bad guys and that I'm pulling their stings like a puppet, but that's the opposite of what's going on yet The Ex makes the kids look bad to the rest of the family.  Girlfriend said that The Ex better not treat the grandkids the way that she treats her own kids, or Girlfriend was really going to have a problem.  I told Girlfriend that The Ex would obviously treat them the same because The Ex treats everyone the same; she doesn't have meaningful relationships, she just keeps people around to make herself feel good.

  Then last night, Girlfriend posted on Facebook saying that she doesn't care who you are; if you're toxic, she will cut you out of her kids' lives if she finds it necessary.  Not only did Son "love" react to it, he shared it to his own wall.  Girlfriend messaged me about it and said she hopes that The Ex sees it.

  And as of right now, that's all the drama that I've heard of/read/seen/been told about.  But Christmas isn't for another few days, so I may have more updates within the next week or two.