Baseball 2009
Even though The Ex lived in New City, she was going to put the kids in baseball in Hometown. Tryouts were on a Saturday morning that happened to be on Husband's weekend. The Ex originally said that she couldn't make it because tryouts were "too early." When we got to Hometown, Husband learned that Son's tryout had gotten pushed from 9am to 10:30am. Husband called The Ex to tell her the time was delayed and she could still come to see Son try out. The Ex did not show up. (Fine, it was only a "tryout" so it wasn't really vital. But don't make an excuse about it. If you don't want to come, then don't come, but don't lie to your kid about you being a parent fail)
On Baby Girl's birthday, The Ex left Husband a voicemail:
“Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. I have told you before: I need another number to call you! (No, you really don't) ‘Cause you don’t answer your phone (He doesn't wait around for you to call. Leave him a message and he will get back to you, he always does)....I called you like, 4 times yesterday and you finally answer. (We were at a birthday party. Sorry we didn't want to stop having fun so that we could, once again, remind you that exchange time is 6pm) Anyways! Um, I got a few dates for try-...the practices for baseball for [Son]. Not too sure yet about...[Daughter] yet, but I can call [friend] and find out ‘cause [Daughter’s] on my friend’s husband’s team. Anyways, um...that...they have practice Wed....this Wednesday and Saturday. Um, Saturday it’s from 3 to 5, because games already start May 16th. (See how this happens? "The kids are playing baseball, you have no say.") So they wanna get in as much practices as possible because they have a few people, they said...a few kids that are pretty new at it and don’t know too much. So they wanna get out as much practice and if you can...since you have ‘em Saturday, [The Ex's brother-in-law] wants to know if you can come and kinda take a few kids and help out. Um, I don’t know...let him know if he needs... if he needs help when you get there. But I guess, don’t even call me; call them because, um...they’re only gonna have a...one practice a week until then, so...he’s hoping to try and squeeze in some Saturdays. And then from...then...ah, he’s not sure so I’m not even gonna say what [The Ex's sister] told me, so...but yeah, don’t call me; call them. You have their numbers, I’m sure. Um....[The Ex’s brother in law] is [phone number].” (So now The Ex has planned our visitation weekend for us? Sorry, no.)
The day after that, The Ex left another voicemail while Husband was at work:
“Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. Just calling to let you know, I- [Daughter’s] coach called me yesterday. Um, it was late when we got off the phone ‘cause um, I’m friends with his wife so we talked forever. But, um, just to let you know...I don’t know how you wanna do this, but...[Daughter] has practice on Friday from 5 o’clock to 7 o’clock. And then [Son], I told you, has practice Wednesday and Saturday. And uh, his game starts May 16th, so they wanna push in as many practices as they can because they have a few kids that don’t really know too much about baseball, so they need to get practicing with them. And it’s pretty much gonna be on Saturdays also and during the week until games start and he’s not sure how he’s gonna be doing it, but things could change. ‘Cause the last time I talked to them was when I left you that message and that was...I don’t even remember when. 5, 6? Could’ve been earlier or later, I don’t know. But he didn’t know how he was doing it then. But with I- [Daughter], as far as I know, she has um, practice Friday and next Thursday....at 5 to 6 next Thursday. So, [Son] should have practice next Thursday also. But just thought you’d let...blah blah blah! Thought I would just let you know ‘cause I need to know how you want to do the kids. Um, ‘cause I don’t want [Daughter] to miss either, ‘cause this is her first year in coach pitch. Um, so I don’t know if you’re gonna come pick the kids up at 7, or am I dropping them off after that? Um, you need to let me know! You’re not calling me back or anything, um. I really would appreciate to have a second phone number, even if it’s [Husband’s sister] or [Husband's brother-in-law]. I don’t...I mean, next time I see them, or I’ll stop in their house and ask them. Because it’s only right that I have another emergency number, ‘cause yours isn’t working, obviously. Goodbye.” (The Ex was still playing this game of not having anyone's phone numbers. I had given her my phone number, Husband's sister and her husband had the same phone numbers from back when The Ex and Husband were still married. The Ex had everyone's numbers and knew how to get a hold of all of us, but chose not to. On top of that, call Husband when he is not at work; that will probably increase your chances of him answering the phone)
After he got home that night, Husband called The Ex back and told her that the kids were not going to be attending practice that weekend because we were having Baby Girl's birthday party. The Ex said that was fine and said she would call her brother-in-law to let him know.
A few hours later, The Ex called back and said she had talked to her sister and said that Husband would bring Son to practice on Saturday and help coach some kids. Husband repeated we would not be going to practice that day because we were having Baby Girl's party. The Ex said, "Well, you can take [Son] for an hour and then leave." Husband told her no; the party was scheduled to start at the same time practice was starting and we were going to be setting up beforehand so Son would not be attending practice. The Ex argued that she had already told her sister that Husband would help out. Husband told The Ex that she should not be making plans for him; The Ex hung up on Husband (That solves everything)
Husband called The Ex back; her mom answered. Husband asked to speak to The Ex. Her mom said, "She can't talk right now, she's driving." Husband pointed out that The Ex had just been talking to him a few minutes ago. The Ex took the phone and yelled, "What?!" Husband told her he didn't appreciate her hanging up on him. The Ex said, "You were yelling at me." (Husband never even raised his voice) Husband said he wasn't yelling at her, he was simply saying he did not want her making plans for him. Before he could finish, The Ex started yelling: "I don't understand what's so hard about helping me out (When did this become about you?) Why can't you just find someone to watch the kids? (...the hell are you talking about??) [Boyfriend] helps me out (Boyfriend had literally been arrested 11 days before this for domestic abuse against The Ex), his sisters help me out (From what we've heard, they really don't. They do it for the daughter you share with Boyfriend and don't really care about Son and Daughter); why can't you?!" (Again, none of this is about you. This is about the kids. Our daughter is having a birthday party and her brother and sister will be there for it. You do not get to direct what we will or won't do on our weekends)
In early June, The Ex left a voicemail:
“[Husband], this is [The Ex]. I’m calling because...um, [Daughter’s] coach today was tellin’ us about, um...all-day weekend...um, tournament in [other city]. So, I was thinking, if you can’t take them, if you didn’t have plans, if I could have...switch weekends? And then, um...I don’t know. You’ll have to give me a call back because um....the weekend of Father’s Day is mine, and Friday we’re doing something. So I was thinking maybe we could drop ‘em off Saturday night with you? So...let me know, what you wanna do. Otherwise, we can drop ‘em off Sunday morning if you’re busy Saturday. Or...yeah. But, Friday we’re doing something, so.... Give me a call back, let me know...um, for sure about next weekend for the tournament.” (Husband had called her the week before this and asked about switching weekends so he could have the kids the full weekend of Father's Day; The Ex said she'd check her calendar and get back to him, but that it should be fine. Now, she does want to switch weekends, except she has plans for Friday, so if they switch he won't get the kids for the full weekend. Isn't that convenient?)
Husband called The Ex back and said we would take Daughter to her games that weekend and that The Ex could pick her up that night. The Ex says, "Well, I don’t know if I’m going Sunday night. If I had the kids I would, but you’re taking ‘em, so I don’t know if I’m going both days.” (So what you're essentially saying is that you enrolled the kids in sports in Hometown, and now don't want to drive over there for their games and practices. That's awesome)
A few days later, The Ex left Husband another message:
“Hi, this is [The Ex]. It’s about, almost 10 o’clock in the morning; I know you’re at work. Uh, [The Ex's sister] finally got me the information that we need for the tournament. [Son’s] tournaments actually start Friday. He plays one game at 5:30 on Friday. Um, all of these games will be in [city close to Hometown] for [Son]. And Saturday, [The Ex's sister] says you can leave him overnight on Friday because they need to be up there by 7:30 in the morning...on Saturday morning. And then he’s got another game at 12:30. And then for [Daughter], her first game, Saturday in [other city], is at 11. Her next game’s at 1:30 and her next game, after that, is at 4pm. And then you need to be at the park at 9:45am. Um...I was wondering if you’re gonna pick the kids up, ‘cause of [Daughter]...- see, [Son’s] got a game on Friday and [Daughter] has practice. And he’s, he’s...she’s gonna have a 45-minute practice and then he’s gonna talk about the [other city] tournament? And I figured since you’re taking [Son]- [Daughter], you should be there. At least by 6:30, be there. ‘Cause he was gonna stop practice about 6:45 and talk about the...whatever’s going on at the tournament. So...I figured me and [daughter with Boyfriend]....’cause [The Ex’s sister] is takin’ ‘em overnight on Thursday night, so I figured me and [daughter with Boyfriend] will just, um...take a ride down there and see [Son] play. Because we’ll probably miss the 7:30am one, and then, uh...we’ll come to the 12:30. See, if they win both those games? [The Ex's sister] is not sure what’s going on because she just got the e-mail early this morning. She’s not sure if they play again at 4:30 or at 6:30. So she told me she knows more...um, [The Ex's brother-in-law] is gonna call (indecipherable)...they said, any information, to call at a certain time so [The Ex's brother-in-law] is gonna call them and let me know. So yeah, that’s what’s going on. Um, I’m going to sleep now; I sleep til 4, so...you can call after that if you have questions or anything. Um, [Daughter] has practice today from 5 to 7 and both the kids have games Thursday. [Daughter’s] is in [Hometown] from 6 to 7:30 and [Son’s] is in [another city]. Um, he needs to be there by 5:30 in [another city]; game doesn’t start til 6:30. So, I thought I’d let you know what’s going on for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and Saturday. And then for [Daughter], if they win all 3 of those 11, 1:30 and 4 o’clock games on Saturday, they play Sunday morning. And, he didn’t give us - he didn’t give me a time, I don’t know if he even mentioned it. So...just thought I’d let you know."
If you actually read through all of that rambling, give yourself a pat on the back. To summarize: Son had a game the next day and Daughter had practice; The Ex wanted Husband to pick the kids up instead of her dropping them off, using the reason that Daughter's coach was going to talk about the tournament and Husband was the one taking Daughter so he should be there. (But of course, we would still have to take the kids back to The Ex on Sunday. She was leaving the kids with her sister on Thursday, wanted Husband to pick them up on Friday and then wanted Husband to drop them off on Sunday. We should just do all of the driving and not argue about it.) Daughter and Son both had tournaments that Saturday but in different cities. We were taking Daughter, The Ex's sister was taking Son and The Ex said she'd miss the first game of Son's tournament but that she would come to the second game. (Okay, fine. At least the kids can each have one of their biological parents there to cheer them on and support them)
We took Daughter to her tournament. As the day progressed, Husband was calling The Ex to see how Son's team was doing. After Daughter's team was eliminated, we drove over to Son's tournament. Husband asked where The Ex was; her sister replied, "Still 'on her way' from this morning." (Son was on his third game by the time we arrived. The Ex hadn't even watched Son play a single game in his tournament. Husband and I were very upset by this because we had taken two cars to Daughter's tournament; if The Ex had just said she wasn't coming to watch Son, then one of us could have driven over there to support Son while he played. When Husband called to see how Son was doing, The Ex just pretended she was at the field watching him) The Ex showed up to watch the final game of Son's, only to watch them lose.
About a month later, we took the kids to Son's baseball game on a Saturday morning. While we were at the game in Hometown, The Ex's sister said that The Ex had spent the night at their parents' place in Hometown but did not come to Son's game. (Remember two years ago? How "pathetic" Husband was for missing one of Son's games because we were in the hospital with a newborn child? Mmhmm. Husband misses one game because of a newborn, he is pathetic and sad and not willing to do anything for his kids; The Ex misses a game because she doesn't want to come, and that is just the end of that.)
Years later, The Ex stills claims that she attended "every game [the kids] had." (No, she didn't) Ever since we got custody and started putting the kids in sports, The Ex has argued that she wants the kids to play in Hometown so she "can see them play more often." (Even though they played in Hometown before and she missed more games than I can count)
On Baby Girl's birthday, The Ex left Husband a voicemail:
“Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. I have told you before: I need another number to call you! (No, you really don't) ‘Cause you don’t answer your phone (He doesn't wait around for you to call. Leave him a message and he will get back to you, he always does)....I called you like, 4 times yesterday and you finally answer. (We were at a birthday party. Sorry we didn't want to stop having fun so that we could, once again, remind you that exchange time is 6pm) Anyways! Um, I got a few dates for try-...the practices for baseball for [Son]. Not too sure yet about...[Daughter] yet, but I can call [friend] and find out ‘cause [Daughter’s] on my friend’s husband’s team. Anyways, um...that...they have practice Wed....this Wednesday and Saturday. Um, Saturday it’s from 3 to 5, because games already start May 16th. (See how this happens? "The kids are playing baseball, you have no say.") So they wanna get in as much practices as possible because they have a few people, they said...a few kids that are pretty new at it and don’t know too much. So they wanna get out as much practice and if you can...since you have ‘em Saturday, [The Ex's brother-in-law] wants to know if you can come and kinda take a few kids and help out. Um, I don’t know...let him know if he needs... if he needs help when you get there. But I guess, don’t even call me; call them because, um...they’re only gonna have a...one practice a week until then, so...he’s hoping to try and squeeze in some Saturdays. And then from...then...ah, he’s not sure so I’m not even gonna say what [The Ex's sister] told me, so...but yeah, don’t call me; call them. You have their numbers, I’m sure. Um....[The Ex’s brother in law] is [phone number].” (So now The Ex has planned our visitation weekend for us? Sorry, no.)
The day after that, The Ex left another voicemail while Husband was at work:
“Hey [Husband], it’s me [The Ex]. Just calling to let you know, I- [Daughter’s] coach called me yesterday. Um, it was late when we got off the phone ‘cause um, I’m friends with his wife so we talked forever. But, um, just to let you know...I don’t know how you wanna do this, but...[Daughter] has practice on Friday from 5 o’clock to 7 o’clock. And then [Son], I told you, has practice Wednesday and Saturday. And uh, his game starts May 16th, so they wanna push in as many practices as they can because they have a few kids that don’t really know too much about baseball, so they need to get practicing with them. And it’s pretty much gonna be on Saturdays also and during the week until games start and he’s not sure how he’s gonna be doing it, but things could change. ‘Cause the last time I talked to them was when I left you that message and that was...I don’t even remember when. 5, 6? Could’ve been earlier or later, I don’t know. But he didn’t know how he was doing it then. But with I- [Daughter], as far as I know, she has um, practice Friday and next Thursday....at 5 to 6 next Thursday. So, [Son] should have practice next Thursday also. But just thought you’d let...blah blah blah! Thought I would just let you know ‘cause I need to know how you want to do the kids. Um, ‘cause I don’t want [Daughter] to miss either, ‘cause this is her first year in coach pitch. Um, so I don’t know if you’re gonna come pick the kids up at 7, or am I dropping them off after that? Um, you need to let me know! You’re not calling me back or anything, um. I really would appreciate to have a second phone number, even if it’s [Husband’s sister] or [Husband's brother-in-law]. I don’t...I mean, next time I see them, or I’ll stop in their house and ask them. Because it’s only right that I have another emergency number, ‘cause yours isn’t working, obviously. Goodbye.” (The Ex was still playing this game of not having anyone's phone numbers. I had given her my phone number, Husband's sister and her husband had the same phone numbers from back when The Ex and Husband were still married. The Ex had everyone's numbers and knew how to get a hold of all of us, but chose not to. On top of that, call Husband when he is not at work; that will probably increase your chances of him answering the phone)
After he got home that night, Husband called The Ex back and told her that the kids were not going to be attending practice that weekend because we were having Baby Girl's birthday party. The Ex said that was fine and said she would call her brother-in-law to let him know.
A few hours later, The Ex called back and said she had talked to her sister and said that Husband would bring Son to practice on Saturday and help coach some kids. Husband repeated we would not be going to practice that day because we were having Baby Girl's party. The Ex said, "Well, you can take [Son] for an hour and then leave." Husband told her no; the party was scheduled to start at the same time practice was starting and we were going to be setting up beforehand so Son would not be attending practice. The Ex argued that she had already told her sister that Husband would help out. Husband told The Ex that she should not be making plans for him; The Ex hung up on Husband (That solves everything)
Husband called The Ex back; her mom answered. Husband asked to speak to The Ex. Her mom said, "She can't talk right now, she's driving." Husband pointed out that The Ex had just been talking to him a few minutes ago. The Ex took the phone and yelled, "What?!" Husband told her he didn't appreciate her hanging up on him. The Ex said, "You were yelling at me." (Husband never even raised his voice) Husband said he wasn't yelling at her, he was simply saying he did not want her making plans for him. Before he could finish, The Ex started yelling: "I don't understand what's so hard about helping me out (When did this become about you?) Why can't you just find someone to watch the kids? (...the hell are you talking about??) [Boyfriend] helps me out (Boyfriend had literally been arrested 11 days before this for domestic abuse against The Ex), his sisters help me out (From what we've heard, they really don't. They do it for the daughter you share with Boyfriend and don't really care about Son and Daughter); why can't you?!" (Again, none of this is about you. This is about the kids. Our daughter is having a birthday party and her brother and sister will be there for it. You do not get to direct what we will or won't do on our weekends)
In early June, The Ex left a voicemail:
“[Husband], this is [The Ex]. I’m calling because...um, [Daughter’s] coach today was tellin’ us about, um...all-day weekend...um, tournament in [other city]. So, I was thinking, if you can’t take them, if you didn’t have plans, if I could have...switch weekends? And then, um...I don’t know. You’ll have to give me a call back because um....the weekend of Father’s Day is mine, and Friday we’re doing something. So I was thinking maybe we could drop ‘em off Saturday night with you? So...let me know, what you wanna do. Otherwise, we can drop ‘em off Sunday morning if you’re busy Saturday. Or...yeah. But, Friday we’re doing something, so.... Give me a call back, let me know...um, for sure about next weekend for the tournament.” (Husband had called her the week before this and asked about switching weekends so he could have the kids the full weekend of Father's Day; The Ex said she'd check her calendar and get back to him, but that it should be fine. Now, she does want to switch weekends, except she has plans for Friday, so if they switch he won't get the kids for the full weekend. Isn't that convenient?)
Husband called The Ex back and said we would take Daughter to her games that weekend and that The Ex could pick her up that night. The Ex says, "Well, I don’t know if I’m going Sunday night. If I had the kids I would, but you’re taking ‘em, so I don’t know if I’m going both days.” (So what you're essentially saying is that you enrolled the kids in sports in Hometown, and now don't want to drive over there for their games and practices. That's awesome)
A few days later, The Ex left Husband another message:
“Hi, this is [The Ex]. It’s about, almost 10 o’clock in the morning; I know you’re at work. Uh, [The Ex's sister] finally got me the information that we need for the tournament. [Son’s] tournaments actually start Friday. He plays one game at 5:30 on Friday. Um, all of these games will be in [city close to Hometown] for [Son]. And Saturday, [The Ex's sister] says you can leave him overnight on Friday because they need to be up there by 7:30 in the morning...on Saturday morning. And then he’s got another game at 12:30. And then for [Daughter], her first game, Saturday in [other city], is at 11. Her next game’s at 1:30 and her next game, after that, is at 4pm. And then you need to be at the park at 9:45am. Um...I was wondering if you’re gonna pick the kids up, ‘cause of [Daughter]...- see, [Son’s] got a game on Friday and [Daughter] has practice. And he’s, he’s...she’s gonna have a 45-minute practice and then he’s gonna talk about the [other city] tournament? And I figured since you’re taking [Son]- [Daughter], you should be there. At least by 6:30, be there. ‘Cause he was gonna stop practice about 6:45 and talk about the...whatever’s going on at the tournament. So...I figured me and [daughter with Boyfriend]....’cause [The Ex’s sister] is takin’ ‘em overnight on Thursday night, so I figured me and [daughter with Boyfriend] will just, um...take a ride down there and see [Son] play. Because we’ll probably miss the 7:30am one, and then, uh...we’ll come to the 12:30. See, if they win both those games? [The Ex's sister] is not sure what’s going on because she just got the e-mail early this morning. She’s not sure if they play again at 4:30 or at 6:30. So she told me she knows more...um, [The Ex's brother-in-law] is gonna call (indecipherable)...they said, any information, to call at a certain time so [The Ex's brother-in-law] is gonna call them and let me know. So yeah, that’s what’s going on. Um, I’m going to sleep now; I sleep til 4, so...you can call after that if you have questions or anything. Um, [Daughter] has practice today from 5 to 7 and both the kids have games Thursday. [Daughter’s] is in [Hometown] from 6 to 7:30 and [Son’s] is in [another city]. Um, he needs to be there by 5:30 in [another city]; game doesn’t start til 6:30. So, I thought I’d let you know what’s going on for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and Saturday. And then for [Daughter], if they win all 3 of those 11, 1:30 and 4 o’clock games on Saturday, they play Sunday morning. And, he didn’t give us - he didn’t give me a time, I don’t know if he even mentioned it. So...just thought I’d let you know."
If you actually read through all of that rambling, give yourself a pat on the back. To summarize: Son had a game the next day and Daughter had practice; The Ex wanted Husband to pick the kids up instead of her dropping them off, using the reason that Daughter's coach was going to talk about the tournament and Husband was the one taking Daughter so he should be there. (But of course, we would still have to take the kids back to The Ex on Sunday. She was leaving the kids with her sister on Thursday, wanted Husband to pick them up on Friday and then wanted Husband to drop them off on Sunday. We should just do all of the driving and not argue about it.) Daughter and Son both had tournaments that Saturday but in different cities. We were taking Daughter, The Ex's sister was taking Son and The Ex said she'd miss the first game of Son's tournament but that she would come to the second game. (Okay, fine. At least the kids can each have one of their biological parents there to cheer them on and support them)
We took Daughter to her tournament. As the day progressed, Husband was calling The Ex to see how Son's team was doing. After Daughter's team was eliminated, we drove over to Son's tournament. Husband asked where The Ex was; her sister replied, "Still 'on her way' from this morning." (Son was on his third game by the time we arrived. The Ex hadn't even watched Son play a single game in his tournament. Husband and I were very upset by this because we had taken two cars to Daughter's tournament; if The Ex had just said she wasn't coming to watch Son, then one of us could have driven over there to support Son while he played. When Husband called to see how Son was doing, The Ex just pretended she was at the field watching him) The Ex showed up to watch the final game of Son's, only to watch them lose.
About a month later, we took the kids to Son's baseball game on a Saturday morning. While we were at the game in Hometown, The Ex's sister said that The Ex had spent the night at their parents' place in Hometown but did not come to Son's game. (Remember two years ago? How "pathetic" Husband was for missing one of Son's games because we were in the hospital with a newborn child? Mmhmm. Husband misses one game because of a newborn, he is pathetic and sad and not willing to do anything for his kids; The Ex misses a game because she doesn't want to come, and that is just the end of that.)
Years later, The Ex stills claims that she attended "every game [the kids] had." (No, she didn't) Ever since we got custody and started putting the kids in sports, The Ex has argued that she wants the kids to play in Hometown so she "can see them play more often." (Even though they played in Hometown before and she missed more games than I can count)
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