Attorney 4 is an idiot
I know, I know. I haven't posted in like, forever. Sorry about that. We had court coming up, didn't want to be blogging about what we were/weren't doing because if The Ex is reading this, she knows it's about her and we all know how that goes. Anyway...
Husband filed a motion last year asking to switch The Ex's visitation to every other weekend; the order had two weekends with her, one with us, repeat. Son was adamant about getting this changed; he has friends and a "girlfriend" (As much as one can have a "girlfriend" at Son's age) that he wants to spend more time with. Daughter said she didn't really care what happened (She cracks me up. You could tell her we were going to give everything away and become gypsies; she wouldn't get upset, she'd probably just ask what color her skirt would be.)
The judge referred The Ex and Husband to mediation (Waste of everyone's time) The Ex refused to switch weekends, so a court trial had to be scheduled. The Ex continued working weekends; then in December, she quit her job and still continued to complain to the kids that she had no money (Yeeeeep. The logic is strong in this one.)
The Ex's attorney sent a letter in January saying that The Ex was starting full-time work through an employment agency (The Ex had gotten fired almost a full two years before this. She could have had a job a long time ago but it was easier to sit on her butt and collect unemployment, and then whine about how poor she is.)
The kids went to meet with the guardian ad litem in mid-January; two days later, the GAL sent a letter that she wanted a joint meeting with Husband and The Ex. She told them to find something that worked for both of them and to call her office to coordinate it.
The following week, The Ex leaves Husband a message saying that she wants to follow him to Daughter's basketball game that night (Thanks for the advance notice...) and she should be here around 4:30; The Ex also says that she hasn't read any emails because she tried "programming" her email into her new phone and "it said it's open on a phone somewhere" and it "kinda locked her out." (This is not how email works. I'm not a computer wizard, but I know enough that this story is complete BS.) Husband sends her a text saying he has to leave right away to make the game and can't wait until 4:30, sends the address for the game. Also sends a text that saying he needs her work schedule because the GAL wants to meet with them together and he doesn't know what works best for her.
The Ex gets to Daughter's game and sits away from Husband, like she always does. Looks at Husband occasionally; Husband caught her rolling her eyes when he and one of the other basketball moms were joking around and laughing (The other mom and I are pretty good friends. I am not threatened by her, as she is not threatened by me talking to her husband. Our kids all attend a close-knit school; everyone knows everyone and we all get along. Despite Husband not being her problem anymore, The Ex is annoyed that he and another woman are laughing together. I think this is hilarious) The Ex approaches Husband after the game, says she can only do Friday afternoons. Husband reminds her that he has Mondays off of work. The Ex replies, "Well, you can't have everything your way." Husband said he's not trying to have anything any way; Mondays work best for him. The Ex says she will only do Fridays at 3:30 and walks away.
The next Monday, Husband texts The Ex and asks for confirmation that Friday afternoons at 3:30 work best for her for the meeting; also says he needs her new email because she said she got locked out of her old email. No reply. Husband calls the GAL office, asks about Friday afternoons; the GAL has no Friday afternoons until March and court is at the end of February. Husband texts The Ex and lets her know, reminds her again that he has Mondays off and the GAL has Mondays open.
The Ex replies and says no, she tried telling him that she works as late as 3:30 (I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe Husband didn't hear her correctly. Then I remembered that when Husband told her he had Mondays off, her reply was "You can't have everything your way." So yes, she was insisting on Friday afternoons but is now denying ever saying that) and says she would have to try to get off work without getting in trouble. Husband asks for her work schedule, says they need to set up an appointment and the GAL won't take appointments later than 4pm. The Ex gives him her schedule (Shocking, I know) and says she doesn't know what time she'll finish until that day, says sometimes she has to work mandatory overtime. Husband asks what she suggests; The Ex stops texting him.
Husband calls the GAL again, says The Ex is not communicating with him and he can't even get a day or time out of her that works. The GAL gets irritated, says she just wanted to set up a meeting and didn't think it would be this hard but apparently it is (Did you think we were kidding when we said The Ex is impossible to communicate with?) The GAL says she'll try to contact The Ex the following day and if she can't reach her, she'll just pick a date and time, send a letter and whoever can make it will make it.
Two days later, The Ex calls Husband and leaves him a message while he's at work; then she sends a text saying the exact same thing as the voice message. Says she talked to the GAL's office, there are 2 days available, Mondays aren't good for her because of work, etc. Husband gets out of work, calls the GAL's office, confirms the appointment, sends The Ex a text.
They both go to the meeting. The GAL says that Son did tell her he wants to spend more time here, but The Ex isn't working weekends anymore and the court wants there to be equal parenting time which isn't going to happen with us living so far apart (So punish the kid because The Ex is selfish and created the distance) GAL says the kids will play sports in School City, says it's ridiculous to talk about enrolling them elsewhere (So win for us; no more of this "Let's enroll them in Hometown because I'm lazy and don't want to take them" from The Ex) GAL tells The Ex that if she's going to refuse to take the kids to their games or practices, then she will have to explain to the kids why they're being denied that opportunity. (BOOM.) GAL asks about communicating; Husband says he wants to stick to email or text, The Ex says it would be "nice" if they could just talk on the phone. GAL says in a perfect world, everyone could just talk things out in person but email and text is a good idea because then there's a record of what they discussed. (Another win for us) GAL asks about emails; The Ex says her phone "doesn't work" and she doesn't always get Husband's emails. GAL tells The Ex that she needs to take her phone back to where she bought it and tell them that she needs one that works. (HAHAHAHAHAHA....The Ex sure rode that train until it derailed, didn't she?)
After the meeting, the GAL sent a letter outlining what they talked about and agreed to. Husband wouldn't ask to change the weekends(Wasn't happy about this, but whatever); The Ex will get her phone fixed immediately so she can receive emails(Win for us); the kids will play sports here(Win for the kids and us); both parents will check daily to see if there are texts or emails from the other parent and if so, they will acknowledge the message within 24 hours and answer questions within 48 hours(Win for us because Husband did this anyway); parents will discuss extracurricular activities and if the other parent doesn't object in 48 hours, it's considered consent(Another win for us because again, Husband already did this)
The week before court, Our Attorney emails Attorney 4 and asks if we can adjourn the hearing while a stipulation is being drafted; we also ask about addressing child support right away. Attorney 4 says we can do a stipulation, she's meeting with The Ex that afternoon. I email Husband's pay stubs to Attorney 4 and bring to her attention that Husband has been trying to discuss a weekend exchange with The Ex and she is ignoring him; also bring up that The Ex owes Husband over $700 for variable expenses and uninsured medical bills for the kids and that these are supposed to be paid within 30 days.
Attorney 4 sends a letter to Our Attorney on Friday (Court was scheduled for 9am on Monday) saying that The Ex agrees to pay part of the school milk and lunches if Husband covers the tuition (Ex-squeeze me? No. Hell no. We just went to court for this in August and guess what? The judge said you're paying for school lunches AND tuition. You don't get to barter when the judge has already told you to pay for it.) Attorney 4 says The Ex does not want to pay for Son's contacts because she told Husband she couldn't afford them, and says The Ex doesn't want to pay for baseball expenses because there was no agreement. (Here we effing go again...) Then Attorney 4 says she hasn't seen all of the receipts, but she would propose (Here's my favorite part of the entire letter) that any money owed to Husband BE CREDITED TO THE EX'S OVERPAYMENT OF CHILD SUPPORT. (If you don't understand why I'm shouting, go read the second to last paragraph of this) Attorney 4 wrote that The Ex "has a significant overpayment credit on her child support account." (Did you read that paragraph that I linked to? The judge made it very clear that there would be no repayment; Attorney 4 was present at that hearing. Attorney 4 typed up and submitted the order from that hearing, which reads:
"Petitioner requests a delay in the income withholding as she anticipates an overpayment. The court has no way of knowing what the overpayment is going to be and will not make any orders to credit or have the father payback the overpayment as the monies were received over a long period of time and have been utilized."
Attorney 4 WROTE THIS, and less than five months later, sends us a letter telling us to apply variable expense cost to a non-existent credit)
I email Attorney 4 back and tell her there seems to be a lot of confusion and I'd like to clarify(Which is me politely telling her that she's a dumbass) I told her that at the hearing over the summer, Husband had asked for clarification on variable expenses because The Ex was arguing over what she did or did not have to pay for; during that hearing, the judge had quoted a statute to define variable expenses which I quoted into the email. I told Attorney 4 that under this definition, The Ex was required to pay part of the kids' tuition in addition to the other items listed in the court order. I reminded Attorney 4 that at the hearing in the summer, the judge had ruled that The Ex would not be receiving any credit for any overpayment of support due to her failure to address it in a timely manner. I also told her that I had just spoken to a rep at the child support agency, who confirmed that The Ex did not have any type of credit on her account.
I told Attorney 4 that Son needed new eyewear so it was either contacts or glasses; Son was enrolled in tackle football so contacts were the better choice, not to mention that they actually cost less money than the glasses would have. I told her this was a medical necessity. I addressed the baseball and told Attorney 4 that The Ex had emailed Husband at the end of April and stated that she would bring the kids to their games if they played baseball in School City, so there was no basis for an objection.
Attorney 4 replies to Our Attorney with an email marked urgent, saying that they needed to let the GAL know if they had settled all issues; she attaches our motion and says that the hearing is for custody and placement and that it is "NOT for financial issues" (I CAN TYPE IN CAPS TOO, OMG. And thanks for emailing me what I already have tons of copies of. Why would I not have a copy of my own motion? Moron...) She rambles on for another paragraph and then says that if The Ex and Husband have resolved their issues regarding custody and placement, it would make sense to finalize with a stipulation and order and "avoid further GAL expenses for the parties." (Now she's worried about wasting money? She wasted The Ex's money by sending a letter that was chock-full of inaccuracies just to have me correct her. But yes, she is soooo concerned about saving money on GAL fees.)
I emailed her back, told her that Our Attorney had emailed her asking to adjourn while a stipulation was drafted; no stipulation had been received by Our Attorney or by Husband and nothing had been signed so essentially, there was no agreement - we'd all have to show up Monday to settle things.
Over the weekend, Our Attorney called and said we should still push for every other weekend; she said we could offer to give The Ex more time when the kids had off to make up for the days she was losing. We decided to give her every Labor Day weekend and every Thanksgiving weekend (Not the most ideal for us, but we get the kids every other weekend this way. It was an okay deal.)
We get to court Monday morning; The Ex shows up with her parents. (They drove her there. She's almost 32 years old, she has two of her own vehicles, and her parents are carting her around in their vehicle using their gas and their time) We hand out the proposed stipulation and two calendars - one showing what the current overnight schedule is and one showing what the proposed overnight schedule would be if they agree to our stipulation. The judge goes back to his office so we can discuss this.
The Ex and Attorney 4 start looking over the calendars. Husband and I sit in the back, making small talk with The Ex's dad. Attorney 4 turns around and says, "I'm confused. There are two calendars here; one says 124 nights and the other says 125 nights." (You're correct. That's because one calendar says it's the current order and the other calendar says it's the proposed order. Good job reading the entire thing; please remind me why you get paid $300/hour???) Husband explains to her the difference; now she gets it. Husband comes back and we keep talking with The Ex's dad.
The Ex says, "[Husband], when is the kids' spring break? It's not on here and it's my year." I reply, "No, it's not." (I can only imagine the immense amounts of profanities that flew through her mind at that second) I pull up the order on my phone that says Husband gets spring break on even years; Husband takes it up to Attorney 4 and The Ex for them to read. (One-two-three-four. Four is an even number. See how easy that was? I honestly have no idea how The Ex can be this stupid on such a consistent basis over placement. These are HER children and she never has any idea who is taking them or when.)
Attorney 4 nitpicks wording. Our Attorney had written that Husband would continue to have primary placement during the school year and The Ex would continue to have it during the summer. Attorney 4 wants to add in "as currently ordered." (Yes, she actually brought this up. Attorney 4 thought it would "clarify" what was being said. Because apparently there isn't already an order in place clarifying it, but okay.) Attorney 4 hemmed and hawed; change this, reword that, blah blah blah. (We think she was just padding her bill to The Ex. The longer she spent in court, the more she could bill her)
After about an hour or so, we had everything where we needed it. The judge was incredibly nice, came back into the courtroom joking about how there were two birthdays in the courthouse so he "more than supplemented his breakfast." We got everything put on record; before dismissing, the judge spoke to both parents about extracurriculars. He told them that it's hard enough even with an intact family because there are so many activities these days for the kids and that in the future, they should really work together to try and do what was best for the kids because coming back to court every time is "an expensive way to handle it." (Of course, this wasn't an insult to us at all. Husband tried working with The Ex; she was being ridiculous and that's how we got to this point.)
That afternoon, Attorney 4 sends an email about doing a child support stipulation. Says she would like copies of all the receipts so they can "narrow the area of disagreement" and says The Ex is concerned about two variable expenses: Son's contacts and the kids' tuition. Attorney 4 says she has an email from The Ex to Husband saying she disagreed with the contacts and couldn't afford them (If your kid has cancer and the other parent says, "I don't agree to chemo and can't afford it," do you then let your child die since the other parent didn't agree? No, you do not. You do what is medically necessary for the child. You don't get to exempt yourself from financially supporting your children just because you don't want to pay for anything.) Attorney 4 says the choice for a parochial school was a sole custodial decision made by Husband, not a joint decision (I actually laughed when I read this, and I'll cover why in the next paragraph) Attorney 4 says that Husband has never asked The Ex to reimburse him for past years' tuition. (This has no bearing on anything and she knows that, she's grasping at straws.) Attorney 4 says The Ex cannot afford to make lump sum payments on tuition (The daughter that The Ex shares with Boyfriend is attending a parochial school in New City. Explain how she pays for that.) Attorney 4 says The Ex agrees to contribute to school milk and lunches "in acknowledgment of the fact that if the children attended public school there would be some expense for registration fees" (Okay, but you have to contribute to that anyway. The judge already clarified that.)
I email Attorney 4 and tell her I will get her all of the receipts. I explained that Son needed new eyewear and that Husband's decision to purchase contacts actually saved The Ex money, as the contacts were cheaper than glasses. I explained that regarding school choice (I'm smiling while I type this because I still think it's hilarious), Husband was granted sole custody for the 2009-2010 school year due to the parties' inability to agree on school enrollment; however, we had a court hearing in New City in 2010 and the first paragraph of the order from that hearing reads: "The parties agree that the children shall continue to attend [kids' school] in [School City]." (I cannot even imagine how stupid she felt reading this) I told her that it was never requested that The Ex make a lump sum payment at any time and that the school has always been flexible with payments. I explained that Husband told The Ex about her share of the tuition in September and since it was unpaid, Husband paid it so the money is now owed to him in addition to the school milk and lunches.
The next day, I emailed Attorney 4 and attached all receipts for the variable expenses. Two days later, I emailed her Son's two most recent eye prescriptions, indicating there was a significant change and that Son needed new eyewear which is a medical necessity and not an optional expense.
Attorney 4 has not emailed us anything since then. I emailed her just this Tuesday asking about the status of the child support stipulation; she still has said nothing.
Husband filed a motion last year asking to switch The Ex's visitation to every other weekend; the order had two weekends with her, one with us, repeat. Son was adamant about getting this changed; he has friends and a "girlfriend" (As much as one can have a "girlfriend" at Son's age) that he wants to spend more time with. Daughter said she didn't really care what happened (She cracks me up. You could tell her we were going to give everything away and become gypsies; she wouldn't get upset, she'd probably just ask what color her skirt would be.)
The judge referred The Ex and Husband to mediation (Waste of everyone's time) The Ex refused to switch weekends, so a court trial had to be scheduled. The Ex continued working weekends; then in December, she quit her job and still continued to complain to the kids that she had no money (Yeeeeep. The logic is strong in this one.)
The Ex's attorney sent a letter in January saying that The Ex was starting full-time work through an employment agency (The Ex had gotten fired almost a full two years before this. She could have had a job a long time ago but it was easier to sit on her butt and collect unemployment, and then whine about how poor she is.)
The kids went to meet with the guardian ad litem in mid-January; two days later, the GAL sent a letter that she wanted a joint meeting with Husband and The Ex. She told them to find something that worked for both of them and to call her office to coordinate it.
The following week, The Ex leaves Husband a message saying that she wants to follow him to Daughter's basketball game that night (Thanks for the advance notice...) and she should be here around 4:30; The Ex also says that she hasn't read any emails because she tried "programming" her email into her new phone and "it said it's open on a phone somewhere" and it "kinda locked her out." (This is not how email works. I'm not a computer wizard, but I know enough that this story is complete BS.) Husband sends her a text saying he has to leave right away to make the game and can't wait until 4:30, sends the address for the game. Also sends a text that saying he needs her work schedule because the GAL wants to meet with them together and he doesn't know what works best for her.
The Ex gets to Daughter's game and sits away from Husband, like she always does. Looks at Husband occasionally; Husband caught her rolling her eyes when he and one of the other basketball moms were joking around and laughing (The other mom and I are pretty good friends. I am not threatened by her, as she is not threatened by me talking to her husband. Our kids all attend a close-knit school; everyone knows everyone and we all get along. Despite Husband not being her problem anymore, The Ex is annoyed that he and another woman are laughing together. I think this is hilarious) The Ex approaches Husband after the game, says she can only do Friday afternoons. Husband reminds her that he has Mondays off of work. The Ex replies, "Well, you can't have everything your way." Husband said he's not trying to have anything any way; Mondays work best for him. The Ex says she will only do Fridays at 3:30 and walks away.
The next Monday, Husband texts The Ex and asks for confirmation that Friday afternoons at 3:30 work best for her for the meeting; also says he needs her new email because she said she got locked out of her old email. No reply. Husband calls the GAL office, asks about Friday afternoons; the GAL has no Friday afternoons until March and court is at the end of February. Husband texts The Ex and lets her know, reminds her again that he has Mondays off and the GAL has Mondays open.
The Ex replies and says no, she tried telling him that she works as late as 3:30 (I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe Husband didn't hear her correctly. Then I remembered that when Husband told her he had Mondays off, her reply was "You can't have everything your way." So yes, she was insisting on Friday afternoons but is now denying ever saying that) and says she would have to try to get off work without getting in trouble. Husband asks for her work schedule, says they need to set up an appointment and the GAL won't take appointments later than 4pm. The Ex gives him her schedule (Shocking, I know) and says she doesn't know what time she'll finish until that day, says sometimes she has to work mandatory overtime. Husband asks what she suggests; The Ex stops texting him.
Husband calls the GAL again, says The Ex is not communicating with him and he can't even get a day or time out of her that works. The GAL gets irritated, says she just wanted to set up a meeting and didn't think it would be this hard but apparently it is (Did you think we were kidding when we said The Ex is impossible to communicate with?) The GAL says she'll try to contact The Ex the following day and if she can't reach her, she'll just pick a date and time, send a letter and whoever can make it will make it.
Two days later, The Ex calls Husband and leaves him a message while he's at work; then she sends a text saying the exact same thing as the voice message. Says she talked to the GAL's office, there are 2 days available, Mondays aren't good for her because of work, etc. Husband gets out of work, calls the GAL's office, confirms the appointment, sends The Ex a text.
They both go to the meeting. The GAL says that Son did tell her he wants to spend more time here, but The Ex isn't working weekends anymore and the court wants there to be equal parenting time which isn't going to happen with us living so far apart (So punish the kid because The Ex is selfish and created the distance) GAL says the kids will play sports in School City, says it's ridiculous to talk about enrolling them elsewhere (So win for us; no more of this "Let's enroll them in Hometown because I'm lazy and don't want to take them" from The Ex) GAL tells The Ex that if she's going to refuse to take the kids to their games or practices, then she will have to explain to the kids why they're being denied that opportunity. (BOOM.) GAL asks about communicating; Husband says he wants to stick to email or text, The Ex says it would be "nice" if they could just talk on the phone. GAL says in a perfect world, everyone could just talk things out in person but email and text is a good idea because then there's a record of what they discussed. (Another win for us) GAL asks about emails; The Ex says her phone "doesn't work" and she doesn't always get Husband's emails. GAL tells The Ex that she needs to take her phone back to where she bought it and tell them that she needs one that works. (HAHAHAHAHAHA....The Ex sure rode that train until it derailed, didn't she?)
After the meeting, the GAL sent a letter outlining what they talked about and agreed to. Husband wouldn't ask to change the weekends(Wasn't happy about this, but whatever); The Ex will get her phone fixed immediately so she can receive emails(Win for us); the kids will play sports here(Win for the kids and us); both parents will check daily to see if there are texts or emails from the other parent and if so, they will acknowledge the message within 24 hours and answer questions within 48 hours(Win for us because Husband did this anyway); parents will discuss extracurricular activities and if the other parent doesn't object in 48 hours, it's considered consent(Another win for us because again, Husband already did this)
The week before court, Our Attorney emails Attorney 4 and asks if we can adjourn the hearing while a stipulation is being drafted; we also ask about addressing child support right away. Attorney 4 says we can do a stipulation, she's meeting with The Ex that afternoon. I email Husband's pay stubs to Attorney 4 and bring to her attention that Husband has been trying to discuss a weekend exchange with The Ex and she is ignoring him; also bring up that The Ex owes Husband over $700 for variable expenses and uninsured medical bills for the kids and that these are supposed to be paid within 30 days.
Attorney 4 sends a letter to Our Attorney on Friday (Court was scheduled for 9am on Monday) saying that The Ex agrees to pay part of the school milk and lunches if Husband covers the tuition (Ex-squeeze me? No. Hell no. We just went to court for this in August and guess what? The judge said you're paying for school lunches AND tuition. You don't get to barter when the judge has already told you to pay for it.) Attorney 4 says The Ex does not want to pay for Son's contacts because she told Husband she couldn't afford them, and says The Ex doesn't want to pay for baseball expenses because there was no agreement. (Here we effing go again...) Then Attorney 4 says she hasn't seen all of the receipts, but she would propose (Here's my favorite part of the entire letter) that any money owed to Husband BE CREDITED TO THE EX'S OVERPAYMENT OF CHILD SUPPORT. (If you don't understand why I'm shouting, go read the second to last paragraph of this) Attorney 4 wrote that The Ex "has a significant overpayment credit on her child support account." (Did you read that paragraph that I linked to? The judge made it very clear that there would be no repayment; Attorney 4 was present at that hearing. Attorney 4 typed up and submitted the order from that hearing, which reads:
"Petitioner requests a delay in the income withholding as she anticipates an overpayment. The court has no way of knowing what the overpayment is going to be and will not make any orders to credit or have the father payback the overpayment as the monies were received over a long period of time and have been utilized."
Attorney 4 WROTE THIS, and less than five months later, sends us a letter telling us to apply variable expense cost to a non-existent credit)
I email Attorney 4 back and tell her there seems to be a lot of confusion and I'd like to clarify(Which is me politely telling her that she's a dumbass) I told her that at the hearing over the summer, Husband had asked for clarification on variable expenses because The Ex was arguing over what she did or did not have to pay for; during that hearing, the judge had quoted a statute to define variable expenses which I quoted into the email. I told Attorney 4 that under this definition, The Ex was required to pay part of the kids' tuition in addition to the other items listed in the court order. I reminded Attorney 4 that at the hearing in the summer, the judge had ruled that The Ex would not be receiving any credit for any overpayment of support due to her failure to address it in a timely manner. I also told her that I had just spoken to a rep at the child support agency, who confirmed that The Ex did not have any type of credit on her account.
I told Attorney 4 that Son needed new eyewear so it was either contacts or glasses; Son was enrolled in tackle football so contacts were the better choice, not to mention that they actually cost less money than the glasses would have. I told her this was a medical necessity. I addressed the baseball and told Attorney 4 that The Ex had emailed Husband at the end of April and stated that she would bring the kids to their games if they played baseball in School City, so there was no basis for an objection.
Attorney 4 replies to Our Attorney with an email marked urgent, saying that they needed to let the GAL know if they had settled all issues; she attaches our motion and says that the hearing is for custody and placement and that it is "NOT for financial issues" (I CAN TYPE IN CAPS TOO, OMG. And thanks for emailing me what I already have tons of copies of. Why would I not have a copy of my own motion? Moron...) She rambles on for another paragraph and then says that if The Ex and Husband have resolved their issues regarding custody and placement, it would make sense to finalize with a stipulation and order and "avoid further GAL expenses for the parties." (Now she's worried about wasting money? She wasted The Ex's money by sending a letter that was chock-full of inaccuracies just to have me correct her. But yes, she is soooo concerned about saving money on GAL fees.)
I emailed her back, told her that Our Attorney had emailed her asking to adjourn while a stipulation was drafted; no stipulation had been received by Our Attorney or by Husband and nothing had been signed so essentially, there was no agreement - we'd all have to show up Monday to settle things.
Over the weekend, Our Attorney called and said we should still push for every other weekend; she said we could offer to give The Ex more time when the kids had off to make up for the days she was losing. We decided to give her every Labor Day weekend and every Thanksgiving weekend (Not the most ideal for us, but we get the kids every other weekend this way. It was an okay deal.)
We get to court Monday morning; The Ex shows up with her parents. (They drove her there. She's almost 32 years old, she has two of her own vehicles, and her parents are carting her around in their vehicle using their gas and their time) We hand out the proposed stipulation and two calendars - one showing what the current overnight schedule is and one showing what the proposed overnight schedule would be if they agree to our stipulation. The judge goes back to his office so we can discuss this.
The Ex and Attorney 4 start looking over the calendars. Husband and I sit in the back, making small talk with The Ex's dad. Attorney 4 turns around and says, "I'm confused. There are two calendars here; one says 124 nights and the other says 125 nights." (You're correct. That's because one calendar says it's the current order and the other calendar says it's the proposed order. Good job reading the entire thing; please remind me why you get paid $300/hour???) Husband explains to her the difference; now she gets it. Husband comes back and we keep talking with The Ex's dad.
The Ex says, "[Husband], when is the kids' spring break? It's not on here and it's my year." I reply, "No, it's not." (I can only imagine the immense amounts of profanities that flew through her mind at that second) I pull up the order on my phone that says Husband gets spring break on even years; Husband takes it up to Attorney 4 and The Ex for them to read. (One-two-three-four. Four is an even number. See how easy that was? I honestly have no idea how The Ex can be this stupid on such a consistent basis over placement. These are HER children and she never has any idea who is taking them or when.)
Attorney 4 nitpicks wording. Our Attorney had written that Husband would continue to have primary placement during the school year and The Ex would continue to have it during the summer. Attorney 4 wants to add in "as currently ordered." (Yes, she actually brought this up. Attorney 4 thought it would "clarify" what was being said. Because apparently there isn't already an order in place clarifying it, but okay.) Attorney 4 hemmed and hawed; change this, reword that, blah blah blah. (We think she was just padding her bill to The Ex. The longer she spent in court, the more she could bill her)
After about an hour or so, we had everything where we needed it. The judge was incredibly nice, came back into the courtroom joking about how there were two birthdays in the courthouse so he "more than supplemented his breakfast." We got everything put on record; before dismissing, the judge spoke to both parents about extracurriculars. He told them that it's hard enough even with an intact family because there are so many activities these days for the kids and that in the future, they should really work together to try and do what was best for the kids because coming back to court every time is "an expensive way to handle it." (Of course, this wasn't an insult to us at all. Husband tried working with The Ex; she was being ridiculous and that's how we got to this point.)
That afternoon, Attorney 4 sends an email about doing a child support stipulation. Says she would like copies of all the receipts so they can "narrow the area of disagreement" and says The Ex is concerned about two variable expenses: Son's contacts and the kids' tuition. Attorney 4 says she has an email from The Ex to Husband saying she disagreed with the contacts and couldn't afford them (If your kid has cancer and the other parent says, "I don't agree to chemo and can't afford it," do you then let your child die since the other parent didn't agree? No, you do not. You do what is medically necessary for the child. You don't get to exempt yourself from financially supporting your children just because you don't want to pay for anything.) Attorney 4 says the choice for a parochial school was a sole custodial decision made by Husband, not a joint decision (I actually laughed when I read this, and I'll cover why in the next paragraph) Attorney 4 says that Husband has never asked The Ex to reimburse him for past years' tuition. (This has no bearing on anything and she knows that, she's grasping at straws.) Attorney 4 says The Ex cannot afford to make lump sum payments on tuition (The daughter that The Ex shares with Boyfriend is attending a parochial school in New City. Explain how she pays for that.) Attorney 4 says The Ex agrees to contribute to school milk and lunches "in acknowledgment of the fact that if the children attended public school there would be some expense for registration fees" (Okay, but you have to contribute to that anyway. The judge already clarified that.)
I email Attorney 4 and tell her I will get her all of the receipts. I explained that Son needed new eyewear and that Husband's decision to purchase contacts actually saved The Ex money, as the contacts were cheaper than glasses. I explained that regarding school choice (I'm smiling while I type this because I still think it's hilarious), Husband was granted sole custody for the 2009-2010 school year due to the parties' inability to agree on school enrollment; however, we had a court hearing in New City in 2010 and the first paragraph of the order from that hearing reads: "The parties agree that the children shall continue to attend [kids' school] in [School City]." (I cannot even imagine how stupid she felt reading this) I told her that it was never requested that The Ex make a lump sum payment at any time and that the school has always been flexible with payments. I explained that Husband told The Ex about her share of the tuition in September and since it was unpaid, Husband paid it so the money is now owed to him in addition to the school milk and lunches.
The next day, I emailed Attorney 4 and attached all receipts for the variable expenses. Two days later, I emailed her Son's two most recent eye prescriptions, indicating there was a significant change and that Son needed new eyewear which is a medical necessity and not an optional expense.
Attorney 4 has not emailed us anything since then. I emailed her just this Tuesday asking about the status of the child support stipulation; she still has said nothing.
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