Dropping the hammer.
Anyone who has ever been around a teenager knows how moody and indecisive they can be. This is why children aren't allowed to make decisions in family court matters; they will "hate" one parent one day and "hate" the other parent the next, and would constantly be moving back and forth. Children can express their opinion to their guardian ad litem, but it's ultimately up to the parents; if they cannot agree, then it's up the the guardian ad litem to assess the situation, make a recommendation, and then the judge will rule what he/she sees as the best choice for the child. Anyway...that's not the point of this blog post.
Son signed himself up for football this past spring before the school year ended. For a recap on how The Ex has reacted in previous years, read this. There was a football activity scheduled Sunday night, and football camp was scheduled from Monday through Friday of this week. We bought Son new cleats, took him in for a physical, kept The Ex appraised, etc.
Sunday afternoon, Husband asks Son where his cleats are. Son says he left them at school. I ask the coach if anyone will be there; the coach says that anything left behind was thrown out. Husband tells Son that now The Ex will have to get him cleats and have him in Activity City by 5:30pm.
Half an hour later, Son calls Husband and says he doesn't want to play football. (This is because Son has a "girlfriend" by The Ex; he wanted to spend more time with her even though we found out that she was blowing him off. This girl is bad news and complete trash - and I'm being polite. The Ex is happy that Son is "dating" her because she's friends with the girl's mom.) Husband asks why he was saying this. Son says he doesn't feel like playing and "doesn't want to be forced again." Husband replies that Son was never forced to play so there is no "again" because it's never happened. Son says nothing because he knows Husband is right. Husband says we've already bought cleats and took him for the physical; it's a commitment and he's going to play. Son asks if he can drop out and repay us for the cleats. Husband says that Son never pays us back for anything else, so why would we believe that he's going to pay for cleats? Son again says nothing, because he knows that Husband is once again right. Husband says we'll see him that evening, and they both hang up.
I called Our Attorney who basically said that Son is at an age where he wants to start being independent and making his own choices; if he wants to drop out, then let him do it and he'll kick himself for it down the road.
Son must have called up The Ex whining and crying about how mean and terrible Husband was being, because shortly after I hung up with Our Attorney, Husband had this voice mail:
"Hey [Husband], it's [The Ex] calling on [Son's] phone. (No one cares.) We've called you four times and you're not answering. (Yes, that's why you're leaving a message.) Um, we just wanted to let you know that [Son] won't be making it. He doesn't wanna play. (He does, but he's being a little bitch right now and you're feeding into it.) I'm not facilitating him, (You're not facilitating the football activity. You are most definitely facilitating your child, right down the path of being a lazy quitter like you and the rest of your worthless family.) if he- that is his wish. That's his wish. He's here in the- in with us on three-way. You can talk to him, but you're not answering. You have any questions, please call us!"
Half an hour later, she sent this on 2houses:
"[Son] does not want to play football and I'm going to abide by his wishes (She's going to regret typing that.) and he won't be making any football practices or games. If he changes his mind I will facilitate him (No, you won't because we're not going to re-enroll him. Son might think that's bad, but he's going to have a LOT more problems than he realizes...) otherwise you can talk to him on Friday when I bring the kids for your weekend" (We were going to reply to this, but chose not to. We took Our Attorney's advice and we're not pushing it. We're done playing games.)
To put it very bluntly, Husband and I have reached our breaking point with Son's bullshit. He acts big and tough around his friends, he's been lying to everyone(us, The Ex, his friends, his cousin, his girlfriend, etc.), he puts on a persona trying to impress all the wrong people - and we've had enough. The Ex constantly badmouths us and lists all the things that she thinks we should be doing/paying for, yet she doesn't support either of the kids in any way, shape or form. But Son "changed his mind" about playing football and she's going to "abide by his wishes," guess what's going to happen?
We're making some changes in our house, too. Not about placement; we love Son too much to let him go live with The Ex right now, which would undoubtedly lead to him dropping out of high school. He may go live with The Ex once he's 18 years old and has graduated high school. Oh no, we've got something else in mind which is going to cause a major impact.
Son's TV in his room? Gone.
Son's XBox that is our family's joint property, but we allowed him to keep in his room? Gone.
Son's phone, and with it his games, music, texting, and social media? Gone.
Son's car that we lent him the money for, which he hasn't repaid even a penny after over a year and half? Gone.
Son's insurance coverage that's on our automobile policy? Gone.
As I'm typing this, Son is officially cut off. His mother hasn't done shit for him in the last 10 years, but she seizes every opportunity to tell Son what she thinks we should be doing for him or giving to him?? Well, he's about to find out real quick that every last thing he has is the result of US providing it or helping him to get it.
And of course he'll go whining to Mommy Dearest, but what's she going to do about it? Get angry and speak poorly of us? Okay, well she does that anyway...ask me if I care. She's certainly not going to start providing those things for Son, especially not after she and/or Ned just financed a $24,000 vehicle two weeks ago. (She still owes us over $300 for medical bills, if you were wondering. Last payment we received was almost 9 months ago.) No no, we are tired of doing everything with no gratitude or appreciation for that fact that we are the only ones doing it; all we ever hear is we should be doing more so now, we're going to do the minimum required. He will be provided with food, clothing and shelter - that's it.
Husband will be emailing The Ex later today to inform her that Son no longer has insurance coverage so if Son wants to operate either her or her family's vehicles, they will have to add him to their policy in order to "abide by his wishes."
Son signed himself up for football this past spring before the school year ended. For a recap on how The Ex has reacted in previous years, read this. There was a football activity scheduled Sunday night, and football camp was scheduled from Monday through Friday of this week. We bought Son new cleats, took him in for a physical, kept The Ex appraised, etc.
Sunday afternoon, Husband asks Son where his cleats are. Son says he left them at school. I ask the coach if anyone will be there; the coach says that anything left behind was thrown out. Husband tells Son that now The Ex will have to get him cleats and have him in Activity City by 5:30pm.
Half an hour later, Son calls Husband and says he doesn't want to play football. (This is because Son has a "girlfriend" by The Ex; he wanted to spend more time with her even though we found out that she was blowing him off. This girl is bad news and complete trash - and I'm being polite. The Ex is happy that Son is "dating" her because she's friends with the girl's mom.) Husband asks why he was saying this. Son says he doesn't feel like playing and "doesn't want to be forced again." Husband replies that Son was never forced to play so there is no "again" because it's never happened. Son says nothing because he knows Husband is right. Husband says we've already bought cleats and took him for the physical; it's a commitment and he's going to play. Son asks if he can drop out and repay us for the cleats. Husband says that Son never pays us back for anything else, so why would we believe that he's going to pay for cleats? Son again says nothing, because he knows that Husband is once again right. Husband says we'll see him that evening, and they both hang up.
I called Our Attorney who basically said that Son is at an age where he wants to start being independent and making his own choices; if he wants to drop out, then let him do it and he'll kick himself for it down the road.
Son must have called up The Ex whining and crying about how mean and terrible Husband was being, because shortly after I hung up with Our Attorney, Husband had this voice mail:
"Hey [Husband], it's [The Ex] calling on [Son's] phone. (No one cares.) We've called you four times and you're not answering. (Yes, that's why you're leaving a message.) Um, we just wanted to let you know that [Son] won't be making it. He doesn't wanna play. (He does, but he's being a little bitch right now and you're feeding into it.) I'm not facilitating him, (You're not facilitating the football activity. You are most definitely facilitating your child, right down the path of being a lazy quitter like you and the rest of your worthless family.) if he- that is his wish. That's his wish. He's here in the- in with us on three-way. You can talk to him, but you're not answering. You have any questions, please call us!"
Half an hour later, she sent this on 2houses:
"[Son] does not want to play football and I'm going to abide by his wishes (She's going to regret typing that.) and he won't be making any football practices or games. If he changes his mind I will facilitate him (No, you won't because we're not going to re-enroll him. Son might think that's bad, but he's going to have a LOT more problems than he realizes...) otherwise you can talk to him on Friday when I bring the kids for your weekend" (We were going to reply to this, but chose not to. We took Our Attorney's advice and we're not pushing it. We're done playing games.)
To put it very bluntly, Husband and I have reached our breaking point with Son's bullshit. He acts big and tough around his friends, he's been lying to everyone(us, The Ex, his friends, his cousin, his girlfriend, etc.), he puts on a persona trying to impress all the wrong people - and we've had enough. The Ex constantly badmouths us and lists all the things that she thinks we should be doing/paying for, yet she doesn't support either of the kids in any way, shape or form. But Son "changed his mind" about playing football and she's going to "abide by his wishes," guess what's going to happen?
We're making some changes in our house, too. Not about placement; we love Son too much to let him go live with The Ex right now, which would undoubtedly lead to him dropping out of high school. He may go live with The Ex once he's 18 years old and has graduated high school. Oh no, we've got something else in mind which is going to cause a major impact.
Son's TV in his room? Gone.
Son's XBox that is our family's joint property, but we allowed him to keep in his room? Gone.
Son's phone, and with it his games, music, texting, and social media? Gone.
Son's car that we lent him the money for, which he hasn't repaid even a penny after over a year and half? Gone.
Son's insurance coverage that's on our automobile policy? Gone.
As I'm typing this, Son is officially cut off. His mother hasn't done shit for him in the last 10 years, but she seizes every opportunity to tell Son what she thinks we should be doing for him or giving to him?? Well, he's about to find out real quick that every last thing he has is the result of US providing it or helping him to get it.
And of course he'll go whining to Mommy Dearest, but what's she going to do about it? Get angry and speak poorly of us? Okay, well she does that anyway...ask me if I care. She's certainly not going to start providing those things for Son, especially not after she and/or Ned just financed a $24,000 vehicle two weeks ago. (She still owes us over $300 for medical bills, if you were wondering. Last payment we received was almost 9 months ago.) No no, we are tired of doing everything with no gratitude or appreciation for that fact that we are the only ones doing it; all we ever hear is we should be doing more so now, we're going to do the minimum required. He will be provided with food, clothing and shelter - that's it.
Husband will be emailing The Ex later today to inform her that Son no longer has insurance coverage so if Son wants to operate either her or her family's vehicles, they will have to add him to their policy in order to "abide by his wishes."
How did things go with the email? Has son sworn his undying love and allegiance to BM yet?
ReplyDeleteHoping to post a follow up today. Daughter has a big mouth about things that go on over at The Ex's house.... LOL
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